The Retreat
by Zan1781
Summary: What happens when Grissom and the team start to talk? This story includes the original retreat, and then another retreat, one year later. GSR. Complete.
1. The Retreat

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**Disclaimer:** I own absolutely nothing CSI related. That honor belongs to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_The Retreat_

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"Grissom, you can't be serious!" Sara said, sitting at the break-room table.

"Yeah, Gris, I don't think so…" Nick trailed off, glancing over at Sara.

"Don't worry, guys, he's joking… I think…" Greg chimed in, taking a sip of his special blend of coffee.

Grissom rubbed his chin, standing just inside of the doorway. "No, I'm not. We've been separated for far too long, and it is time to come together again. As a team."

"Well, can't we just go out to dinner, Gil?" Catherine asked.

"Or play a game of pick-up basketball?" Warrick threw out.

"Or go to one of the aquariums on the strip?" Sara suggested.

"Or play Playstation?" Greg asked. Sara threw a look at him, trying not to roll her eyes. "What?" Greg retorted. "It's good for your hand-eye coordination!"

"Riight…" Sara replied.

Before Greg could retort, Grissom held up a hand. "We're going camping… and that's final."

"In a hotel, right?" Catherine asked.

"With running water…?" Sara worriedly added.

"And a gym…?" Nick put in.

"With a basketball court…?" Warrick asked.

"If you consider a tent to be a hotel," Grissom said with a small smile, "And a stream as running water, and hills as a gym, then… yes… we're going that kind of camping…"

Sara sighed, standing up. "I need to pack, then.."

"One bag, each…" Grissom told everyone, standing up, and once again rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"How about three bags?" Catherine asked.

"How about one bag?" Grissom shot back, walking towards the door. "We leave at 4:00 pm, from the parking lot here."

"Great," Greg muttered. "Wait, are batteries allowed..? Handheld DVD players? Portable game players…?"

"What do you think, Greg?" Grissom asked. "The answer is no."

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"What's for dinner?" Nick asked the group, as Warrick built a fire for the campers.

"We're having grilled chicken, baked potatoes, and vegetables," Grissom replied, setting out the ingredients and the tinfoil.

"So… we just put all of the food in the tinfoil?" Greg asked. "And then put the tinfoil on the coals?"

"Exactly, Greg," Grissom said, as he started scooping vegetables onto his tinfoil.

"Good, I'm starving," Nick announced. "I think I'll have a little bit of everything…" he added.

"I think I'll have a little bit of everything, minus the chicken…" Sara mumbled, frowning.

"And I'll have her chicken," Greg said, pointing to the chicken breast sitting untouched, in front of Sara.

"So tell me again?" Warrick then asked. "How… is this supposed to engender team unity?"

"Because while dinner is making, we're going to talk," Grissom told him.

"About…?" Catherine asked.

"Us," Grissom replied.

"Oh…" Sara said.

"Do you all trust me…?" Grissom then asked. Each CSI hesitantly nodded. "Good. Then I want to know what you're afraid of."

"I don't… understand…" Warrick quietly said.

"I don't feel like sharing that information," Sara threw out there.

Greg looked confused. "How will that help us come together, as a team?"

"It will give us insight into how we all think," Grissom simply said. "And I'll go first. I'm afraid that some day, I won't be able to stop something bad from happening to one of you," he said, making eye contact with each of them, "Or that our team, our family, will be permanently split up."

Catherine sighed, looking at the ground. "I'm afraid that my daughter won't grow up with everything that she needs or wants in life."

"I'm terrified of being seen as a failure," Nick threw out there.

Warrick kicked a stone, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm afraid that I will never make a good husband… or a father, when the time comes."

"I'm afraid that video killed the radio star, and that satellite will kill the video star…" Greg said. When no one laughed at him, or his joke, he sighed. "I'm afraid that I will miss something at a crime scene, causing us to let a killer go free…" he admitted.

"And I'm afraid that I will slide further into depression…" Sara finally said.

Sitting around the camp fire, none of the CSIs looked up, each lost in his or her own world. Finally, Grissom cleared his throat, causing everyone to look up at him. "We need to remember that although we are all individuals, we are still a family; a family where the members care about one another. If anyone wants to talk about his or her fears, now… is a good time to do it. We're all… listening…"

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	2. Nick's Story

**A/N: **Thank you so much for your review, I really appreciate it!**  
**

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Nick's Story_

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"Are you serious about this, Grissom...?" Nick asked, glancing around the fire at the faces of his friends and colleagues.

Grissom merely nodded. "I am... we're a family, whether you all know it or not..."

"Okay," Nick sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Looking around at his friends, he gave a small smile. Once again staring at the flames, and holding his hands out towards the fire for warmth, Nick sighed. "I might as well go first."

"It's... okay, Nicky," Catherine finally said to him. "Like Grissom said, we're listening...and we're family."

"Right," Nick replied, not bothering to make eye contact with anyone. "Well... like I said before, my biggest fear is being a failure..."

"Well that's a stupid fear," Greg spoke up. When Sara gave him a nasty look, he hesitated. "What I meant to say is that you are one of the smartest people that I know... and... I can't see you ever being a failure..."

"Let him talk, Greg," Grissom quietly admonished the young CSI, stoking the fire. "He talks, we listen."

Nick nodded, taking a deep breath. "I, uh..." he started to say. "I, uh, feel like... I'm already a failure, I guess..." he quietly said. "My father... wanted me to follow in his footsteps, and go into law... actual law," he clarified, "Not forensics. And my mother? Well... I don't really know what she wanted for me, except... I feel like I haven't done what she wants." Clearing his throat, Nick once again gazed into the fire, and tried to focus his attention on the pop and glow emanating from the embers. "I...you know... when I almost died last year...?" he asked, still not making eye contact with anyone.

"Uh-huh..." Greg replied. Sara wrapped her arms around herself for warmth, staring down at the ground, while Grissom added some more wood to the fire.

"We remember," Warrick told him. "We... were there... with you..."

"Right," Nick mumbled. "Well, while I was... locked inside the coffin, I had time to think," he fidgeted, again rubbing the back of his neck. "And you know what crossed my mind...?" he quietly asked. "That... I made a stupid mistake at a crime scene, and let you guys down... I..." he took another deep breath. "I saw my life flash before my eyes, and... there were things that I saw that I regretted. I regretted... not trying to have more fun in life, and not going out with you guys, or whipping Greg's behind in Final Fantasy."

"HEY!" Greg said.

"I regretted not going out for dinner and drinks with you, Catherine, on the night that you ended up at the bar alone, or Sara, going to the diner more often with you after finishing a case. And most of all, Grissom... I regretted not turning out to be the CSI that you claimed I could always be…I..." he swallowed, once again staring at the ground. "I... found a lot to regret."

Sara frowned, her eyes slowly moving from the fire, up to Nick's face. "Nick, I--" she started to say, before he cut her off.

"I... don't know..." Nick continued. "I... don't want to let anyone down..." he trailed off. My father was... always so busy. He came to my games when he could, and... he supported me in my activities, but..." he quietly said, "He wasn't... there for me. Emotionally. He always told me that I could do better, that I could be a better man. But... I don't know how to do that... I'm... doing the best that I can, you know...?" he whispered, finally looking around the camp fire, desperate for someone to make eye contact with him, so that he didn't feel quite so alone. Only Sara was looking at him, her eyes riveted to his. The others, he realized, were trying to give him some space... to process what he was saying.

But that's not what he wanted... he wanted to feel connected with them. Staring at the fire, Nick took another deep breath. "When I was buried alive, I... did some thinking. A lot of thinking, actually..." he quietly told them. "Warrick?" he asked, as the other man's head snapped up. "You have it together, man... a wife, even though you weren't married at the time, and a career... I envy you. And Catherine," he continued, as she slowly looked up at him. "You... are strong, and sensitive, all at the same time... a born leader." Turning his attention to Greg, Nick gave a small laugh. "And Greg... you... figured out what you wanted at such a young age, and... made the switch from DNA to field work... I envy your drive. And Sara?" he said, although her eyes were already fixed on his. "And Sara?" he repeated, "You... are one of the people whom I trust the most," he shrugged, before looking over at Grissom. "And Grissom, I..." Nick mumbled, looking down at the ground. "You're... the man that I have strived to please the most; the person who's opinion has always mattered the most to me; the man who I thought of as a second father," he said, burying his head in his hands.

Sara finally returned her gaze to the ground in front of her, staring at a pebble, while Greg ran a hand through his spiky hair. Catherine leaned back on her log, before clearing her throat. "Nicky, I… had no idea that you felt that way, honestly," she finally said. "I… can't imagine what you went through in that coffin. But do you really… feel like a failure?"

Nick nodded.

"But… your life has so much meaning, Nick," Warrick told him. "You get to wake up every day, and put bad guys away…"

"But… that's just it," Nick told him. "How… can we put bad guys away, when they are doing their best to kill us at every step of the way?"

"Are you… afraid of dying, Nick?" Sara quietly asked him, lifting her gaze to meet his again.

"I… don't know…" Nick shrugged, looking down. "I'm… afraid that they will come after me again, or… I'll have another gun pulled on me, or… someone will finally be able to take me out. What if… what if something happens, and I fail to solve the problem…?"

"It's like in Final Fantasy X," Greg told him.

"Not now, Greg…" Catherine said, frowning. "Now is not the time for video games…"

"No, wait, hear me out…" Greg firmly replied, holding up his hands to silence everyone. "The main characters have to save the world, right? Well… Tidus tries to save the world, but he can't do it alone. His friends help him. He starts off with very little powers, skills, and weapons, but through the help of his friends, he starts to learn how to survive… and how to fulfill his destiny," he finished, grinning.

"What I think that the Game Genie is trying to say, Nick," Warrick put in, "Is that you don't have to do things alone… we're your team, your family. We can learn, and grow, together. You aren't a failure… until you give up. And we won't let you…" he finished.

"Well said," Grissom finally told the group. "See, Nick? Family. We're your family. And for the record…? You never once let me down. Not even for a second."

Nick nodded, trying to unobtrusively wipe his tears away.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	3. Greg's Story

**A/N:** Thank you again for your reviews! I appreciate them!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Greg's Story_

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"Yo, Greggo, you're up…" Nick said, glancing over at the younger CSI. "Well... if you want to, that is..."

Greg frowned. "See? That's my deepest fear, right there…" he pointed out, glancing around the camp fire at everyone.

"What…?" Nick asked. "That we call you 'Greggo,' rather than Greg…?"

"Guys…" Grissom said, clearing his throat.

"No," Greg replied, "That you won't take me seriously."

"But Greg," Catherine laughed, "Have you… heard yourself talk before…?"

"Catherine," Grissom again warned. "Come on…"

"Yeah, I've heard myself talk before," Greg said, staring at the fire. "And I know that I can be a little silly at times…" Glancing up at the group, he smiled. "Alright… very silly at times. But all of my joking aside, I… want to be a good CSI... like you guys. And unfortunately, a part of me is afraid that I will screw something up, because… I lack the experience that you all have."

"But Greg…" Nick trailed off. "We all started somewhere, too…"

"We all had a first case, and a first year…" Catherine told him.

"And we've all made mistakes at a crime scene before, Greg," Warrick added. "Every single one of us. Even Grissom, although he'd never admit it."

"Of course I would admit that," Grissom said, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Because it's completely true. "We're not perfect, Greg. We make mistakes, we learn from our mistakes, and then we make new mistakes…"

Greg once again looked down at the ground, avoiding the gazes from his friends. "Speaking of perfection, it's strange, you know…? Sometimes I… miss being in the lab…"

"You do…?" Sara asked him, surprised.

"Well… sometimes. It's predictable. It's easy. Someone brings you a sample of DNA, you analyze it, and you kick back the results. Someone else hands you another sample of DNA, you analyze it, and you kick back the results. It's the same… and impossible to screw up…" he said.

Warrick cleared his throat. "Greg, lemme ask you a question, okay…? What do you like about being a forensic scientist?"

"I like… the challenge of it all… analyzing the crime scene… putting chaos into order… fitting the pieces of the puzzle together, putting the bad guys away…" Greg trailed off.

"And then what do you not like about it…?" Warrick asked.

"The fact that if I miss a piece of evidence, someone goes free," Greg admitted. "It isn't like that in the DNA lab. Again, in the lab, I just analyze what someone else brings me… I mean, what if… what if I miss something major at a scene, you know?" he asked, searching the faces of his colleagues for some sign that they understood what he was trying to say.

"Greg," Grissom spoke up, leaning back on his log. "Answer me this. What do you see?"

"What do I see…?" Greg repeated the question. Grissom nodded. "I see… a fire, smoke, trees, camping equipment…"

"You're missing the obvious, Greg…" Grissom told him.

"That's what I'm afraid of!" Greg continued. "What if I miss the obvious?"

"Look around you, Greg. What do you see…?" Grissom tried again.

"I see… all of you, looking at me…"

"That's right. And why are we all looking at you?" Grissom asked.

"Because… I'm talking…?"

"No, Greg," Catherine spoke up. "Because we care about you. That's what Grissom, in his roundabout way, is getting at. We're all here, because we care about one another. You're afraid that you will miss some sort of key evidence at a crime scene, right? Because you're still new on the job…?" she asked. Greg simply nodded. "Well guess what, Greg… you aren't alone. Sara, Warrick, Nick, Grissom, myself, and even Jim, Sofia, and Al… we're all a team, whether you are at a crime scene alone, or not. We're a team, a family. You're not in this alone, Greg," she repeated, "Because it is our job to back one another up. That's what friends, teammates, and families do. They look out for one another."

"And as far as taking you seriously," Nick added, looking over at his friend. "Well, I think that we all take you seriously… we might steal your coffee from time to time, or laugh with you, but… I know that we all have respect for you, Greg…"

"You… do…?" Greg asked.

Sara rolled her eyes at him. "Of course we do, Greg. You're one of us. You help make the days bearable, by providing some much needed comic relief…"

"Definitely," Warrick agreed.

"That's the whole point of this retreat, Greg," Grissom told him. "For all of us to remember that we're a family."

"We're like the Three Musketeers," Greg pointed out, "Except… there's six of us."

Everyone smiled, looking down at the cooking food.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Warrick spoke up. "Damn, I'm hungry. The food smells great, Grissom… when can we eat?"

"Now, I think," Grissom told him, grabbing some tongs out of one of the storage bins, and removing the food from the coals. "Just… give it a couple of minutes to cool-off, and then you can eat… drinks, napkins, and silverware are in the storage bins, help yourself."

"What… no room service…?" Nick joked, standing up and stretching.

"Hell no, Nicky, you're on your own," Warrick grinned, following him to the storage bins.

"I'll take a diet soda," Catherine said, remaining seated. "Thanks!"

"Yeah, fat chance, Catherine," Greg smiled, following Nick and Warrick away from the fire.

"Fine…" Catherine sighed, standing up and following the guys. "Sara, you coming?"

"In a minute," Sara mumbled, staring at the fire.

"You don't have to share, Sara…" Grissom quietly told her.

"I know, but… I think I will. After Catherine and Warrick go…we're all a family, right…? Well… a good one, I hope…" she amended, standing up. "Not like mine."

Grissom stood up, following his team to get the rest of the supplies for dinner.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	4. Catherine's Story

**A/N: **Thank you for all of your kind comments and reviews!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Catherine's Story_

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"Well, dinner was good," Catherine said, looking around the camp fire at her friends.

"Yeah, but I'm still hungry," Greg told her.

"Greg, you had two chicken breasts!" Catherine grinned. "Yours _and_ Sara's!"

"I'm a growing boy," he shrugged with a smile, balling his tinfoil up, and flinging it across the fire at Nick.

"Hey! Don't even try it!" Nick laughed, balling his own tinfoil up, and throwing it at Warrick.

"Wait a minute! He throws his at you, and you choose to throw yours at me, rather than back at him? Where's the justice?" Warrick laughed, flinging his own tinfoil at Greg.

"Great," Sara sighed. "I feel like I'm back in tenth grade!"

From her log, which was next to Sara's, Catherine shrugged. "It could be worse, you know."

"How do you figure?" Sara asked.

"We could be back in eighth grade…" Catherine replied with a small smile and a chuckle.

"I loved eighth grade!" Greg enthusiastically told them. "That's the year that I got my first-"

"Whoa, Greg, no," Warrick grinned, shaking his head from side to side. "I don't want a mental image of any of your firsts."

"I was going to say that that was the year that I got my first laptop!"

"Right…" Nick grinned.

Everyone lapsed into silence, once again staring at the dying fire. "Alright, folks, who's going to go next?" Grissom finally asked, as he added some more wood to the fire, and stoked it, in order to keep it going.

"I'll go," Catherine said, raising her hand for a moment. "Although, I can't say that I'm really looking forward to this," she sighed.

"It's not…that bad," Greg told her with a smile. "Your armpits will sweat a little bit while you're talking, but… nerves will do that to you. It's expected!"

"Great, thanks, Greg," Catherine said with her own smile. "So…my biggest fear has to do with Lindsey, and… how I'm raising her. I'm… worried about her, you know…? I'm not the best mother in the world, although… God knows that I'm trying my best."

"What makes you think that you aren't a good mother…?" Sara asked. _Because you're a heck of a lot better than my own mother ever was._

"Think about it, Sara…" Catherine replied. "When… do we work? How often do we have overtime?"

"I know that, but… you're there when she wakes up in the morning, and when she gets home from school…" Sara pointed out. _And you talk to her, too…that's more than I can say for my mother._

"And I'm gone for dinner, and I work weekends, and I… the list goes on and on," Catherine sighed, staring across the fire at Grissom. "I'm trying to do my best to raise a good kid, you know…? But… it's so hard to do it by myself."

"I can respect that, Catherine," Warrick spoke up. "I can't imagine being a single parent. It can't be easy on you at all."

"What if she… makes the same mistakes that I made, and follows the same path that I took?" Catherine asked. "I don't want her to be an exotic dancer…" she trailed off. "I… want her to go to school, and have a career…"

"First of all," Nick told Catherine, leaning back on his log, "Lindsey would be lucky to follow in your footsteps. You are a respected forensic scientist, in one of the best labs in the country. She could do worse, you know. And secondly," he continued, "kids are going to make mistakes, Catherine. No matter what you say, or do…"

Greg just smirked, looking over at Catherine.

"What's so funny, Greg…?" she asked.

"I was just thinking," he said with the hint of a smile. "When I was younger, I used to do the complete opposite of what the adults around me told me to do. It didn't matter what they said, I just… did the opposite."

"Hmm…" Nick said. "And that has changed how…?" he asked Greg, trying to hold back a laugh. Greg just narrowed his eyes at him, before breaking out into a smile.

Grissom coughed, throwing Greg and Nick another warning glance. Returning his attention to Catherine, he pointed out, "We can only provide guidance to our young, and then hope that they follow our advice…and then let them make their own mistakes."

"I know," Catherine sighed. "And Lindsey… she definitely takes after me. She's social, and inquisitive, and independent, and—"

"Strong-willed?" Greg asked.

"Ahem," Grissom said, once again clearing his throat.

"Yes, Greg, and strong-willed," Catherine said with a smile. "And I'm worried about what she's doing, when I'm not around… it's…"

"Called being a good mother…" Grissom finished her sentence for her.

"But it goes beyond that," Catherine continued. "She's already starting to hang out with the wrong crowd. What if… something happens to her, and I… lose her… for forever…?" she quietly asked, looking down at the ground. "She has no idea how much I love her, and how much I'd miss her, if she were truly gone," she softly added, starting to lose her composure.

"When's the last time that you told her that you loved her…?" Sara quietly asked, turning her head to the side to look at Catherine.

"This afternoon, before we left… but… she just sort of brushed my words off, as if they didn't mean anything to her. She just said, 'uh-huh…' and continued doing what she was doing," Catherine replied, frowning, as she felt a couple of tears forming in her eyes.

"Call her, Catherine," Warrick finally said. "Go call her, right now…"

Catherine looked up at Grissom, who only nodded. "Go ahead," he told her. "You should get service out here… we passed a tower on our way in."

"What happened to the no cell phone or pager rule?" Catherine meekly asked, brushing her tears aside with a few of her fingers.

"I think we can make an exception this time," he replied with a small smile. "Go ahead and call her. It isn't that late," he added.

Catherine nodded, standing up and walking over to the tent that she was sharing with Sara, in order to grab her phone. "Be right back…" she quietly told the group, ducking inside, and dialing her home phone number.

"Willows residence…" Lindsey said into the phone.

"Lindsey? It's me, Mom…" Catherine shakily said.

"Mom? Why are you calling? What's going on? Are you okay?" she asked, her words coming out rushed.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a moment, honey. How are you doing…?"

"Uh… okay… but… are you okay…?" her daughter asked, picking up on the tone of her mother's voice.

Catherine looked up at the ceiling of the tent for a moment, rubbing her forehead, and trying to breathe normally. "Yes, honey, I'm fine. I just wanted to—"she choked back a sob. "I just wanted to tell you that I loved you," she added, once again wiping away her tears, and trying to hide the sadness in her voice from Lindsey.

"Mommy? You're scaring me…" Lindsey quietly said. "What's going on…? Why are you crying…?"

"Nothing's going on, Linds…" Catherine whispered, as her eyes glistened with tears. "I was just thinking that I haven't spent a lot of time with you lately, and I'd like to… I really, really would…"

"And… you're calling me to tell me this now…? Aren't you camping with your work friends…?" she hesitantly asked.

"Yes, honey, I am, but…" Catherine choked back another sob, "But I wanted you to know that you mean the world to me, okay…?"

"Okay…" Lindsey replied. "But I already know that…"

"You… do…?" Catherine asked, surprised.

"Uh-huh… how could I not know that…? You do everything for me…"

"But… I work a lot…"

"To make money so that I can have whatever I need…" Lindsey slowly replied, confused. "And to keep the bad guys off of the streets…Mom? Are you sure that you're okay…?"

"I'm fine, Lindsey…I'm fine…" Catherine whispered. "I love you, honey…"

"I love you, too, Mom…"

"And I'm taking a week off in April, okay…? For your Spring break? Maybe we can plan a trip together…?"

"That would be great," Lindsey replied. "I'd like that."

"Okay, honey. Go to bed, alright…? It's late… and no junk food before bed, no matter what Grandma says!"

"Too late, Mom. Love you," Lindsey told her.

"I love you too, honey," Catherine sighed, closing the phone, and placing it back inside of her bag.

Wiping away her tears, and trying to compose herself, Catherine returned to the camp fire.

"So is all well in the Willows household?" Nick asked with a smile.

"Apparently so," Catherine smiled. "Apparently so. Oh, and Grissom? I'm taking off for a week in April."

Grissom raised an eyebrow, and gave Catherine a small smile. "That would be fine."

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	5. Warrick's Story

**A/N:** As always, thanks for your reviews!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Warrick's Story_

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"That leaves the two of us…" Warrick told Sara, looking over at her. "So who's it going to be..?"

"It's all you," Sara muttered, staring down at her hands. _I really… don't want to go at all,_ she thought to herself. _I really, really don't._

"Okay…" Warrick shrugged, glancing at the supportive gazes of his friends. "You all know about my… problem, right…?" No one answered him. "Well… my former problem, I guess…" he trailed off, staring into the flames of the fire. "Although… when something consumes your life for so long, I'm not so sure that it ever _stops_ being a problem."

"What are you talking about, Warrick…?" Greg asked. Grissom shot the young CSI another warning look. "Sorry…" he mumbled.

"It's alright, Greggo," Warrick sighed, once again studying his hands. "I told you that my greatest fear is not being a good husband and father, right…? Well it goes beyond that," he said. "Because in order to be those things, you first have to be a good man… and I'm not…"

"Yes… you are…" Catherine told him. "You are one of the nicest men that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You are very sweet, and sensitive, and intelligent, and articulate, and…"

"Uh, Catherine, those aren't necessarily the best manly traits…" Greg trailed off, trying to hold back a smirk.

"Can it, Greg," Catherine replied, frowning at him. "But Warrick, you have a lot going for you… you really, really do…" she tried again.

"Thank you, Cath," Warrick replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "But… I don't agree with you. My gambling problem…caused the death of Holly Gribbs, and… I can never forgive myself for that. If I hadn't…" he started to say, taking a deep breath, "If I hadn't left her alone at the crime scene, she never would have been killed…I should have… known better…" he finished, studying the ground in front of him.

"Yes, you should have," Grissom simply said, staring across the fire at Warrick. "And I am not going to tell you that you did not make a huge mistake… one that ended up costing Ms. Gribbs her life, because… that was probably the biggest mistake that you ever could have made, Warrick," he told him.

"Grissom!" Catherine sharply said, looking over at him.

"C'mon, Gris, lay off…" Nick added.

"What happened to listening without judging?" Greg asked, trying to hide his surprise at Grissom's words.

Sara just frowned, still looking at the fire. She had no clue what Warrick was even saying, because she was too preoccupied with the fact that she would have to share next.

Grissom held up a hand to quiet everyone down. "But what I _will_ say, Warrick, is that you made a mistake. A _mistake_. The fact that you left Holly alone at a crime scene does not make you a bad man, and it does not indicate that you will make a bad husband, or even a bad father, when the time comes for that. What it means is that you had a lapse in judgment; a lapse that to my knowledge, has never reappeared."

"No, it hasn't, nor will it ever…" Warrick trailed off, looking around the fire at his friends. "I just… her death… it hit me hard, you know…?" he asked. "I mean, I know that it hit everyone hard, but… I was to blame for it. And then when you got kidnapped, Nicky," he added, turning to look at his friend, "I had visions of Holly again… except… it was your face that I was seeing. That damn internet connection," he muttered. "That damn button…"

"But… I lived, Warrick…" Nick quietly said, looking over at his friend. "And what happened wasn't your fault..."

"Maybe," Warrick shrugged. "But every time that I clicked that button, and saw your face on that screen, I felt… helpless to do anything to get you out of that mess. And then when you grabbed the gun, Nick, and I watched you load it, I… damn…" Warrick mumbled, putting his head in his hands, and taking a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves.

Greg stared at the ground, once again finding an interesting pebble to study, while Catherine studied her hands. Sara, once again, was lost in her own world.

"I'm… alive, Warrick…" Nick repeated.

"I know, but… when you pulled the trigger, and the light when off," Warrick continued, his voice catching in his throat, "I thought for sure that you were dead…I… felt so powerless to help you, Nicky, and…because I sat there and clicked the button time after time, I felt so… responsible. The more I clicked, the worse I felt. If I had just… insisted on taking the case in the first place, you wouldn't have had to go through all of that," he whispered, staring down at the ground again, so that no one could see the tears glistening in his eyes.

"Then it would have been you, 'Rick… it would have been _one_ of us, no matter _who_ took the case…" Nick quietly told him.

Warrick nodded. "But watching you, and knowing that it _could _have been me, reminded me of how I single-handedly killed Holly… which reminded me that I had, and I guess that I _still_ have, a gambling problem, which… reminded me that I am not a good man. How… can I expect Tina to love me, when… I'm not good enough for her…?" he asked the group.

"I think the real question, Warrick, is how can you expect Tina to love you, when you don't even love yourself…?" Grissom asked him. Greg laughed. "What's so funny, Greg…?"

"I, uh… nothing," Greg muttered. _You just sounded like Dr. Phil there for a moment._ "Sorry…" he added.

"But I don't… know how to," Warrick finally said. "I am so angry with myself, for so many things, and I just… don't know how to forgive myself."

"You just have to, Warrick… before it eats you alive," Catherine told him.

"There are so many positive things about you, 'Rick. You just have to… try to see them…" Nick added, trying to be helpful.

Warrick gave a small chuckle. "Okay, I'll bite… like what…?"

"You're intelligent," Catherine pointed out.

"And you have a sense of humor… not as good as mine," Greg told him with a smile, "But a good one."

"You try to help the rest of us out, whenever possible…" Nick added.

_Crap, what was the question?_ Sara thought to herself. "You, uh…" _Positive traits about Warrick_. "You are like the protective older brother that I never had…" she said, before lapsing back into silence. _Shoot. I have a brother. Do they know that?_

"And you are one of the best CSIs that I have ever met, Warrick, hands down…" Grissom told him. "You have come a long way in the past six years, and… I am proud to count you as a member of my team."

"…Really…?" Warrick asked.

"Absolutely," Grissom replied.

"And for the record," Greg said, "I'm glad that you're back on my team… I didn't like being separated from you, Nick, and Catherine… not that I didn't enjoy working with Grissom and Sara, but… we started off as a team, and… I was upset to be torn apart…"

Warrick nodded. "Well… thank you…" he trailed off.

"Warrick…?" Nick then asked.

"What?"

"Are you still gambling…?"

"No, Nick, I'm not. I have a family now, and… I needed to grow up."

"Good…" Nick told him.

"Because as I see it," Catherine jumped in, "You don't have to worry about being a good man. You already are. But one question…?"

"Shoot," Warrick told her with a small smile, looking up. "Are you and Tina having a baby…? Is that where all of this talk of being a good husband and father is stemming from…?"

Warrick simply nodded yes, grinning. Catherine and Nick exchanged glances, before smiling at one another. Greg looked absolutely stunned. "Kidding!" Warrick then said. "Just kidding!"

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	6. Sara's Story

**A/N: **Thank you SO much to those of you who have taken the time to read and review this fic!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. Thanks also goes to QuoththeRaven, for letting me incorporate her _The Life & Times of Sara Sidle_ into this chapter.

**Title: **_Sara's Story_

---------------

"So… you want to know about my deepest fear…?" Sara asked, staring down at the empty tinfoil wrappers littering the ground around Grissom's feet. "Okay, I'm afraid that I will slip further into depression… and become more self-destructive, until I have no more self to actually destroy…" she said, her words hanging in the silent air. "Grissom…?" Sara then asked. "Are you… sure… that you actually want me to talk about all of this…?"

"We're all here to listen, Sara," he replied. "You tell us whatever you want to tell us, and we will listen… non-judgmentally."

"Okay…" Sara sighed, looking at the fire. "Well… I, uh… don't do this whole sharing thing very well, so… whatever I say… it stays here, around this fire. Is that… understood…?"

"Of course, Sara…" Nick replied.

"Absolutely," Warrick told her.

"You betcha," Greg added.

"We're just here to listen, Sara," Catherine quietly said.

"Right. So… cough drops are my favorite food…" Sara mumbled.

"I don't… understand…" Greg said, looking up at her.

"I like to suck on cough drops… for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner, before bed…"

Nick looked puzzled, as he stared across the fire at Sara.

"Cough drops… cover up the smell of… alcohol…" she explained, kicking a pebble away from herself. "And for awhile now, I've been doing a lot of drinking…"

"But… I don't understand," Greg repeated. "Why…?"

"Greg…?" Grissom warned. "Tread lightly," he mouthed to him. Greg nodded back, indicating that he understood.

"Because I have so much anger, and so much sorrow, that… I don't know what to do about it anymore. And… the alcohol makes it go away. Well, for a couple of minutes, anyhow."

"Sara…" Catherine started to say, but stopped herself, frowning.

"Sara… why didn't you say anything to us…Why didn't you tell us that you were hurting so badly?" Nick quietly asked, still looking at her.

"What did you want me to say, Nick…?" she replied. "Hey guys, I want to die, but instead, I think I'll just drink myself silly…? That my childhood was so horrible, that… there is nothing else that I can do to make the memories go away…?"

"What… was so bad about your childhood?" Nick quietly asked, resting his elbows on his knees, and looking over at her. Glancing around the fire, he once again noticed that his friends were staring at anything but Sara: their hands, the fire, stones by their feet, the stars. They were trying to process what she was saying, he knew, but… he also realized that their actions were inadvertently pushing her away.

"The answer to that question is probably much more than you've bargained for…" Sara mumbled, looking at Nick.

"Go ahead, though," Greg finally spoke up. "We won't judge, remember…?"

"Okay…" Sara sighed. "So…I don't want… to be like my mother. She, uh," she nervously said, "She, uh… killed my father one night, when he came home drunk. Again."

Warrick looked up at Sara, squinting. "For real…?" he asked, shocked.

Sara just nodded. "My father… he wasn't the best…" she said, wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm. "He was… pretty abusive…towards me…" she trailed off.

Catherine finally looked up at Sara, once again frowning. "Verbally..? Or physically…? Or…?" Physical abuse was something that she herself was familiar with.

"'Or…'" Sara replied, lowering her gaze to the ground again. "He used to come into my room when I was young… six, maybe…? Why… are we talking about this, Grissom…?" she then asked. "Why are you making us do this…?"

"I'm not making anyone do anything," Grissom carefully replied. "It's… whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us…or not sharing with us… but this weekend is about getting to know one another. What makes us tick... what makes us…break…"

"What makes us crazy…" Sara supplied.

"You're not crazy, Sara…" Nick firmly told her.

"Oh, no?" she asked, angrily wiping away a tear before it had the chance to slide down her cheek. "I'm not crazy? Are you sure, Nick?" she asked him. "Because my entire family is crazy… I might have the crazy gene in me…" she added, as more tears threatened to spill down her face. "My father used me when I was young, my mother ignored what was going on under her very own roof, my brother didn't bother to take the time to protect me, and I'm not crazy?" she repeated, as the tears started to flow.

"You're not crazy, Sara," Nick repeated, as he slowly stood up, and walked towards her.

"What are you doing?" Sara asked, glancing up at him. "Stay over there! What are you doing?" she repeated

Catherine's gaze went from Nick, to Sara, and then back to Nick again, while Greg ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"Nick," Warrick quietly said, shaking his head no.

But Nick didn't listen to any of them. "You're not crazy, Sara…" he whispered, sitting down on the log next to her, and slowly wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"I don't need you, Nick! What are you doing?"

"Yes, you do need me. You need all of us," he told her, as he gently drew her body towards him, his other arm encircling her neck. "And we're here for you…"

Sara tried to pull away from Nick, feebly pushing against his chest to get away.

"Don't run away from us, Sara…" he said, as his hand gently rubbed her back. "It's okay…"

"Nick…" Grissom warned, as he watched Sara try to once again push away from him.

"Nick, maybe you should just let go…" Catherine started to say, but it was already too late.

Sara, her body wracked in sobs, threw herself back into Nick's arms, burying her head against his chest.

"It's okay, Sara…" he whispered, as he pulled her closer to him. As he continued to gently rub her back with one hand, his other hand moved up to the back of her head. Slowly running his fingers through her hair, he repeated, "It's okay…"

Sara just clung to Nick, shaking. "I remember… everything…" she whispered. "How… I thought that what my father was doing was normal… how… my father looked, dead, at my mother's feet. I can remember… the sirens of the police cars as they came speeding down my street… and the disgusted looks on the faces of my neighbors, as they watched them take me away. I…" Sara added, starting to sob again.

Nick looked down at Sara, wrapping his arm more tightly around her shoulders. "It's okay…" he whispered.

Angrily wiping another tear away, Sara continued. "I remember the fear that I felt as they took me into foster care, even though I don't really remember who 'they' were… I just…" she sighed, staring down at the ground, and trying to avoid the gazes of her friends. "And I remember what…he… felt like. Not my father, but my… foster brother…" she whispered, wiping some more of her tears away. "Because foster care is not what it's cracked up to be…"

"Sara, did someone… hurt you in foster care…?" Catherine quietly asked, starting to put the puzzle pieces together.

Sara nodded, leaning against Nick, who was still gently running his fingers through her hair. "My foster parents went out one night, and Matthew, my foster brother… he… called me into his room," she whispered, "and he… r-r-raped me…" she said, closing her eyes. "And I couldn't get away. I tried, so hard, but I couldn't get away…" she added, barely above a whisper. "And you know what the worst thing about all of it was…?" she asked everyone.

"What…?" Catherine quietly asked.

"They… were supposed to be my family. My father… my mother…my brother… they hurt me. And then my foster family… they hurt me, too. The people who were supposed to love and protect me… they were the ones who hurt me the most."

Nick swallowed, not sure what to say. Even Greg, for once, was completely silent. "And then at the asylum…" Sara continued, "When I got locked in the room with Adam… and he…" she trailed off. "I just can't take it anymore. I can't…it's too much. I want to…"

"You don't want to do that, Sara…" Catherine whispered, watching her with Nick. "That's… not the answer."

"What isn't the answer…?" Greg quietly asked Warrick, who looked just as confused as he felt.

"Suicide?" Warrick asked. "Are you talking about killing yourself..?" he asked Sara, looking over at Grissom. "If you are, that isn't the way to deal with it…"

"Then what is the way?" Sara whispered, not moving out of Nick's arms. "You tell me, because… I can't do it anymore…"

Greg cleared his throat. "We can be your cough drop…"

"What…?" Warrick asked, once again confused.

"The cough drop… helps take care of the after effects of drinking, right…? It helps deal with the problem…?" Everyone except Nick and Sara nodded. "We can be your cough drop, Sara… lean on us for support…we can help you deal with the after effects of your childhood…"

"I… don't know how to trust you, though…" Sara whispered. "I just don't."

"We'll help you," Nick told her, gently rubbing her back. "We won't let anything happen to you. We're your family, Sar…"

"But… that's just it," Sara whispered, closing her eyes. "You're not my real family… you're not my flesh and blood."

"A family, Sara," Grissom spoke up, "Can also be defined as a group of people who share similar values and goals…"

"And who care about one another, whether or not they share a common ancestor," Catherine added. "What he's trying to say, Sara," she clarified, "Is that we care about you… and we're here for you…"

"Definitely…" Warrick agreed.

"For always…" Greg put in.

Nick just continued to run his fingers through Sara's hair, looking around the fire at the faces of his friends.

"Then don't let go of me…" she whispered to Nick, as she once again buried her head against his chest, sobbing.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	7. Interlude

**A/N: **Thank you SO much to those of you who have taken the time to read and review this fic!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I own no part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CSI and CBS. Also, the quotes from John Churton Collins and Helen Keller came from http/www.inspirational-quotes.info, and the line of poetry was written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

**Title:** _Interlude_

---------------

After Sara shared her story, the campsite became completely silent, save for the steady snap and pop from the fire, and the occasional sob from Sara. Not one person uttered a word, as each individual CSI tried to process what had just happened.

_I… still can't believe that you never said anything to us_, _Sara,_ Nick thought to himself, as he absentmindedly continued to rub her back. _We… could have helped you, you know…?_

Staring at the fire, Catherine sighed. _Suicide? You should have come to one of us… any of us. We could have helped you through everything…_

_Damn, Sara_, Warrick thought, as he gazed up at the stars. _And here I was, worried about myself. Apparently, I should have been more worried and concerned about you_!

Even Greg was somber for once, his mind racing. _You're not crazy, really. You're one of the sanest people that I know, and I don't think that you've ever done anything that could be conceived as crazy. Well…except for the fact that you've been keeping secrets from us for years. That's actually a little bit on the crazy side…_

It was Grissom, however, who finally broke the silence. Looking over at Sara, he sighed, not exactly sure what to say. "Sara, I wish… that I could wave a magic wand over you, and instantly make you feel better," he told her, as she slowly picked her head up from Nick's shoulder in order to glance at him. "I wish that… I could say something to reassure you of the fact that you aren't alone… I can only repeatedly tell you that we're all here for you."

"John Churton Collins," Catherine spoke up.

"…Who...? What…?" Greg asked, confused.

"John Churton Collins," she repeated the name. "He once said that 'In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends…' And it's true, Sara… we are your friends; your family… we're here to help you, in any way that we can."

"I know that," Sara quietly whispered from beside Nick, "And…I appreciate it."

After a couple of moments of silence, Grissom cleared his throat. "Sara… I know that this is easier said than done, but… Helen Keller said something that kind of applies to your situation. Well, actually, to all of our situations…" he trailed off.

"What is it, Grissom…?" Nick curiously asked, looking over at him.

"She once said that 'when one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us…'"

Nick frowned. "It's… hard to look forward," he sighed, "When there's so much in the past that still has to be dealt with…"

"Yeah, no kidding," Warrick added.

"Moving on takes time, Grissom…" Catherine commented. "And therapy. It's not… a process that can be done over night…"

Sara just nodded, staring at the ground. "Time… I just need time…" she mumbled, leaning against Nick for support, as her eyes slowly started to close. Without saying a word, Nick just quietly wrapped his arm more tightly around Sara's shoulders.

Once again, the team members all lapsed into their individual silences, thinking about the evening. It hadn't been an easy one for any of them, and… they knew that they probably had more talking to do. Grissom, at the very least, still had to share his deepest fear.

Sighing, Catherine stared at the embers of the fire, lost in thought. _We all… really do have each other, don't we…?_

_It's nice… to have good friends_, Greg thought, staring out at the darkened land.

_I'm going to introduce Tina to the team once we get home. It's time, I think_, Warrick thought, looking up at the night sky.

Nick glanced down at Sara, feeling a little bit anxious. _You don't… deserve what happened to you, Sara… I wish… that I had been able to stop it._

_I… don't know how to trust. How… do you start to trust someone…?_ Sara questioned herself, moving closer to Nick. _None of you would ever hurt me. I know that…Especially you, Nick…_

'_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways_,' Grissom bitterly thought to himself. _He beat you to her, Grissom, fair and square. You could have easily comforted her...but… you were too slow._

---------------

Twenty minutes later, Greg's head snapped up, as he bit back a yelp. "What… uh… what was that?" he quietly asked the group, his voice shattering the silence of the evening. When no one looked up at him, he repeated his question a bit more loudly. "No, seriously, what was that…?"

"Probably just the wind, Greggo…" Nick told him, still holding Sara in his arms, and once again running his fingers through her hair.

"No it wasn't. The wind goes 'wooooosshhhh….' That was definitely a 'rustle-rustle' noise…" he trailed off, standing up, and moving closer to the fire. "Warrick, go check it out…"

"I'm not going to check it out, man, _you_ go check it out!" he replied with a grin, looking over at him.

"Grissom, you're the supervisor…" Greg tried again. "Go check it out…"

"It's fine, Greg," Grissom told him, raising an eyebrow. "It was probably just an animal…"

"Like… a coyote…?" Greg asked, nervously looking around. "Maybe… someone should go check it out, just to be sure that it's something harmless…?"

"Valley of Fire State Park has a lot of animals, Greg," Grissom replied, "But there are enough people and fires around here to keep them far enough away from us. Don't worry about it…" he added.

"I won't worry about it, until some coyote tries to take one of my legs off," he mumbled. "A Greg-shish-cabob."

"I don't think that the coyote would find you all that appetizing," Catherine teased, smiling at her younger colleague.

"Although…" Warrick added, holding back a laugh. "Never mind…"

"What?" Greg asked, looking at his friend.

"Never mind," Warrick repeated, smiling.

Nick rolled his eyes at the antics of his co-workers, once again glancing down at Sara. "Are you doing okay…?" he quietly asked her, his arm still wrapped around her back. Sara just nodded. "Do you want anything? A blanket…? A drink…? Food…?" Sara shook her head no, resting her head on Nick's shoulder. "Okay," he whispered, looking at the fire.

"Did… someone say… food…?" Greg asked, raising an eyebrow.

Grissom gave a small chuckle. "No one can accuse you of not having good hearing…" he commented.

"You're always hungry, Greggo," Nick said with a smile.

"Yeah, but… all of this thinking… seriously, it's making me hungry!"

"Shall we… make some s'mores?" Grissom suggested.

"You have… chocolate…?" Catherine asked, perking up. "You've been holding out on me, Gil!"

Grissom laughed. "The graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate, and skewers are all buried in the storage bin."

"On it," Greg immediately replied, bouncing up to get the supplies. "Warrick, little help?"

"Yeah, you bet," he replied, standing up and stretching. "Anyone else want anything, while we're up?" Catherine, Grissom, and Nick shook their heads no, while Sara remained still, her eyes closed. "Okay, back in a few…" he told everyone, once again yawning.

"I haven't had s'mores since I was a Girl Scout," Catherine commented. "I used to love browning the little marshmallows..."

"I was definitely a burnt marshmallow kind of guy myself," Nick replied with a smile.

"Not me!" Greg told everyone, returning with the package of marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers. "I don't like them burnt! Then again, I don't like them browned, either!"

"You…don't like marshmallows…?" Nick asked him, completely shocked. "I… kind of thought that you'd eat anything!" he laughed.

"Well I didn't say _that_ now, did I, Nick?" Greg grinned. "I said that I didn't like them burned or browned… I like 'em uncooked," he smiled, ripping open the bag, and grabbing a couple of the white, fluffy treats. Shoving them into his mouth, he laughed. "Gooey…"

"That's… sick, man," Warrick laughed, handing a skewer and the bag of marshmallows to Catherine. "You have goo on your face, too," he told Greg, as he handed another skewer to Grissom. "Sara? Want a s'more?" he asked.

"Of course…" she replied, slowly opening her eyes. Looking at Nick for a moment, Sara tried to reassure herself that he wasn't going anywhere. When he flashed her a small smile, she took the skewer from Warrick, grabbing the bag of marshmallows from Grissom.

"Nicky, here you go," Warrick then said, handing a skewer to his colleague, before waiting for the marshmallows to make it back around to himself.

"Kumbaya, anyone…?" Catherine chuckled.

"Ugh, please, no!" Greg replied with a laugh, grabbing another marshmallow, and eating it raw.

Grissom gave a small smile, as he watched his team interact with one another. _Good… this retreat is working out well, although… soon… it will be my turn to share. I can hardly wait! _he sarcastically thought to himself.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	8. Grissom's Story

**A/N: **Thank you SO much to those of you who have taken the time to read and review this fic. I really appreciate it, and I hope that you all like this new chapter! And before you ask, I do not yet know how a certain situation will resolve itself! The jury is still out, so…if you choose to keep reading future chapters of this fic, I suppose we will all find out together!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the folks over at CBS. Also, the quote is from the opening passage of a _Tale of Two Cities_, by Charles Dickens.

**Title:** _Grissom's Story_

---------------

Looking around the fire at the faces of his co-workers, Grissom sighed. "I wanted to thank all of you for sharing your fears with everyone," he quietly told them, making eye contact with each individual CSI, except for Sara, who still had her head buried against Nick's shoulder. "I know that it can be difficult to share such minute, personal details about ourselves, but… I truly believe that doing so makes us better human beings."

"I don't know about _that_, Gil," Catherine said with a small smile, looking over at him, "But it definitely helps to get things out in the open."

"Although the whole nervous sweating thing is a bit disgusting," Greg remarked, stopping for a moment to smell his armpits.

"Actually, I like getting to know all of you a little bit more," Nick shrugged, ignoring Greg's comment, and looking down at Sara. "I'm learning things about some of you that I never knew…" he trailed off.

Warrick raised his eyebrow at Nick, trying to hide his smile. "I agree with Nicky…I'm glad that I am having the opportunity to get to know all of you outside of work," he finally said. "It's about time.

"Gil? I believe it's your turn to go…" Catherine quietly spoke up, once again looking over at him.

Grissom stared at the ground, frowning. "It's only fair, right…?" he asked the group.

Greg chuckled. "Grissom's in the hot seat!" he said with a grin.

"Greg…?" Catherine warned.

"Sorry…" he muttered under his breath, popping another raw marshmallow into his mouth.

Grissom cleared his throat, before removing his glasses in order to rub the bridge of his nose. Slowly raising his gaze to look at his colleagues, he quietly said, "_'__It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…'_"

"…Shakespeare?" Nick asked.

Grissom shook his head no. "Emerson…?" Warrick questioned.

Grissom again shook his head no. "Dr. Seuss?" Greg asked, grinning.

"Uh… no…" Grissom sighed. "It's—"

"Just kidding…" Greg interrupted. "It was Charles Dickens," he told everyone with a proud smile. "From a_ Tale of Two Cities_."

"Very good, Greg," Grissom replied with a small smile.

"But… I don't understand how this relates to your greatest fear, Gil…" Catherine quietly said, looking over at her friend and supervisor.

"Simple," Grissom told her, shrugging. "It describes our team… and the unpredictability of our lives, and…" he trailed off, "My current mental state…"

Sara finally looked up at Grissom, confused. "I don't… understand…" she whispered.

"'_It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…'"_ Grissom began. "When Nick got kidnapped," he quietly said, his words punctuated by the crackle of the fire, "It was the worst of times. I felt… ineffectual, incapable, out of control… not intelligent enough to stop what happened, from actually happening. I… looked around at all of you, and felt unsure of myself, and unsure of what to do… or to say. Sara, you were almost inconsolable. Warrick, you were ready to fly off of the handle at any moment. Catherine, your fear was palpable. Greg, you tried to hold it together, but… you were having a difficult time. And as for myself," he added, once again rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I felt… vulnerable. Nick, your kidnapping made me realize one thing…"

"What…?" Nick quietly asked.

"That at any moment, I can… lose any one of you. And I am desperately worried that I will be the cause of that happening…"

"But Grissom… if it's going to happen, it's going to happen…" Catherine pointed out.

Grissom just sighed, continuing. "'_I__t was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…_' I am supposed to be the leader…the guy with all of the answers. I have the most seniority, and… it is my job to keep each and every one of you safe, so that you can return home to your families. I—"

"But Grissom," Greg interrupted. "No one knows everything…" he quietly said. "Except for Alex Trebeck, maybe…"

"Please, Greg, let me finish…" Grissom told him. "I am supposed to have enough wisdom to be able to save all of you, when in actuality, I myself still have so much to learn..."

"Like… what…?" Greg asked, once again ignoring the glare from Catherine.

"It's…alright, Catherine," Grissom quietly sighed, holding up one of his hands to stop her protestation. "Greg, you know how to relax and have fun. I do not. Warrick, you know how to balance your personal life with your work life. I do not. Nick, you know how to persevere against insurmountable odds. I do not. Catherine, you know how to speak with victims, and how to gain their trust. I do not. And Sara," he continued, "Well…" he trailed off, "You know…"

"Nothing…?" she supplied for him.

"No. You know how to give people multiple chances. I do not," he sighed.

Catherine raised an eyebrow, confused. What did that mean? Glancing over at Warrick, she shrugged, smiling, as he did the same. Nick continued to hold Sara, his thumb gently brushing against her arm.

Grissom took another deep breath, before continuing. "'_It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…'_ This describes the last couple of years of our work lives… we started off working as a team, convinced that we were invincible. We solved crime after crime, without anything major really happening. I _believed _that things were okay… that nothing could go wrong. But then things started to change. I was almost fired, our team was split up, Nick, you were almost killed, and some of us went through our own personal crises. I went from believing that everything would be okay, to… feeling incredulous at what was taking place around me..."

Sara frowned, staring down at the ground. _He's not even making any sense… personal crises? Who went through those? Oh…does he mean… me…?_ Sighing, she closed her eyes, trying to burrow into Nick's arms.

"'_I__t was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…'" _Grissom quietly recited, his voice once again rising above the sizzle and pop of the fire. "I… am worried…" he told everyone. "Light and darkness… good and evil…right decisions and wrong decisions… I feel like I am constantly walking this fine line between the different dichotomies, and that at any moment, I will take a wrong step, and do something that will propel us all into a 'winter of despair.' Do you know how many decisions I have to make in one day…?" he asked everyone, looking around the fire at their puzzled faces. "What if… I do, or say, something, that inadvertently causes one of you to get hurt?" _Or not say, in your case, Sara._

Nick sighed, raising his eyes to meet Grissom's gaze. "Grissom…" he started to say, before realizing that he didn't exactly know how to finish his sentence.

"You might be our supervisor, Grissom," Catherine carefully said, "But you are not solely responsible for our actions… or our safety."

"We all signed up for this job, knowing what might happen to us…" Greg added.

"I know…" Grissom sighed, staring at the ground. "But… it goes beyond that. The last part is more…personal in nature…'W_e had everything before us, we had nothing before us…' _I… don't know how to share my thoughts and feelings…" Grissom slowly said, before swallowing, and looking up at Sara.

Sara opened her eyes, blinking. _What did he just say?_ she asked herself.

Catherine followed Grissom's gaze to Sara, raising an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about, Grissom…?" Greg asked him, running a hand through his hair. "I don't… understand…"

"I had the chance to have… everything. I had… everything standing right in front of me, but my…stupidity, and my…inability to act… ripped it all away…" he answered, before looking down at the ground again.

Warrick coughed, clearing his throat. "Uh… Grissom…" he trailed off, not sure what to say. Glancing over at Nick, he rubbed his neck.

_He didn't… he didn't just say what I think he just said, did he…? Is he…referring to...?_ Sara once again asked herself, starting to feel a little uncomfortable and confused.

_He isn't… referring to… Sara, right…? _Nick thought, glancing down at her in his arms. _He doesn't… have feelings for her… does he…? Why… is he looking at her like that…?_

"Grissom…" Catherine started to say.

"No, let me finish," Grissom replied, once again looking up at everyone. "Dickens aside, I am worried about not being able to express how much each and every one of you actually means to me, before… something happens. _If_ something happens," he amended. "I am worried that one of you might be kidnapped, or get hurt, or even killed, and that I will not be able to stop it from happening. I am concerned that I might someday miss a clue at a crime scene, or that I might not be able to get through to a suspect, accidentally allowing someone who is detrimental to escape and come back to hurt one of you. I guess most importantly, however," he sighed, "is that I am… afraid that I will not have the chance to get to know you, or that I won't even _know _how to get to know you, if given the opportunity to do so…"

_He definitely wasn't talking about me, right…? _Sara again asked herself, still focusing on Grissom's previous statements. _Because Grissom doesn't have feelings for me…he doesn't have feelings for anyone… I don't think… does he…?_

"There's still time, Grissom," Nick told him, gently rubbing Sara's arm. "We're all still here, breathing… although…if Greg takes one more marshmallow, he won't be breathing for long…" he added, as he noticed Greg take another handful of the gooey treat.

"Hey!" Greg replied with a smile, shoving two of them into his mouth. "They're good!" he told everyone, grabbing a piece of chocolate and two graham crackers in order to compliment his marshmallows.

Catherine rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Grissom. "I can… understand what you are feeling, Gil," she told him, "We all come to work every day, and put our lives on the line for one another. We all… periodically share meals with one another, and we all… care about what happens to one another. Even you," she added. "Gil… I know that you want to protect us, and I know that you fight for us every single day… although… you're a bit slow with the paperwork," she added with a teasing grin, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Sorry…" he quietly replied.

"But I know that when push comes to shove with Ecklie," she continued, "You are there for us."

"I know that, too, Gris," Warrick spoke up. "I respect you, man, and I'm glad that I work graveyard. Don't get me wrong, Cath," he added, turning to his former supervisor. "I loved working with you and Nick, but… I started to miss the camaraderie of nights. Greg's stupid jokes, Sara's insane thoroughness, and you, Grissom," he concluded.

"That goes triple for me," Greg jumped in. "I've wanted to make you proud of me for the longest time, Grissom," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I know that you care about all of us… you love your job, and you put a lot of your effort into it, but a rare smile from you, or a 'job well done,' means a lot to me. And it wouldn't matter at all, if I thought that you disliked me…"

Grissom nodded, throwing a look in Sara's direction. She was the only one who still had yet to say something.

Sara, however, her eyes tightly shut, remained quiet. _Why now…? Why in front of everyone…?_ she thought to herself, lost in her own world.

"Thank you for all of your comments…" Grissom finally said. "Listen, I don't know about all of you, but…I'm tired. How about we get some sleep…? Tomorrow will be a very busy day…" he quietly added.

"Why?" Greg asked. "What do you have planned for us?"

"Rappelling," Grissom told him, standing up.

"You're not… serious, right…?" Catherine quickly asked, looking up at him.

"When am I ever _not_ serious, Catherine?" he asked with a smile. "So tomorrow we do a little rappelling, and—"

"And some swimming?" Greg hopefully asked.

"And some swimming," Grissom smiled. "And… some more talking."

Nick groaned. "About what…?" he hesitantly asked.

"Your hopes and dreams for the future," Grissom simply replied. "Alright. We have three tents. Who's bunking with whom…?" he asked, glancing around the fire.

"Sara and I are together," Catherine quickly said, walking to the larger of the three tents. With a sigh, Sara stood up, following her.

Grissom headed over to the middle tent, walking in.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Greg suggested to Nick and Warrick, grinning.

"No, Greggo," Nick replied with a smile. "He snores. You're the newest. You're sharing a tent with Grissom. Good night!" he added, slapping the younger CSI on the back.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Greg told him. "Come on…pick a number? Draw straws?"

"Goodnight, Greg," Warrick grinned, following Nick to the tent on the end.

With a sigh, Greg grabbed a sleeping bag, turning in for the night.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	9. Huh?

**A/N: **Thank you SO much to those of you who are still taking the time to read and review this fic!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title:** _Huh?_

---------------

**Nick and Warrick's Tent**

"What, uh… what was all of that about, do you think…?" Nick asked Warrick, crawling into his sleeping bag.

"Which part, man?" Warrick asked his friend, sliding into his own sleeping bag. "Because we talked about a lot of different things tonight…"

"Sara…" Nick trailed off.

"And who…? You? Or Grissom?"

"Grissom…" Nick replied. "Do you… think he likes her…? Do you think that she likes him…?"

"I don't know, Nicky… talk to Sara about it…" Warrick said, fluffing up his pillow, and closing his eyes. "I'm tired…"

"But… did you see the look that he gave her…?" Nick persisted. "It looked… like there was more to it…"

"I don't know, Nick," Warrick repeated. "Talk to Sara about it. Or Grissom…"

"Right," Nick sighed, laying on his back, and flinging his arm over his eyes.

---------------

**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

"So…how are you doing…?" Catherine quietly asked, as she buried herself deep within her sleeping bag.

"I'm okay, I guess," Sara replied, frowning.

"Big night, eh…?" Catherine tried again.

"Uh-huh…"

"What… was going on, between you and Nick…?"

Sara shrugged, staring at the ground. "He was just being a friend…"

"It… looked like a little bit more than that…" Catherine said with a small smile.

"Really, he was just being a friend…"

"And… what was going on, between you and Grissom…?"

"Nothing…as far as I know," Sara replied, slowly closing her eyes.

"Well… trust me, Sara. It sure didn't look like nothing to me. Not on his end of things, anyhow…"

"…Really…?" Sara quietly asked, cracking one eye open in order to study Catherine's expression.

"It was definitely something…" Catherine confirmed.

"Oh…"

---------------

**Grissom and Greg's**** Tent**

Tucked deep within his sleeping bag, Grissom peacefully snored.

"Grissom…?" Greg quietly called his supervisor.

Grissom kept snoring.

"Grissom…?" Greg repeated.

Grissom just kept on snoring.

"GRISSOM?" Greg yelled.

"Wh-what…?" Grissom asked, sitting up in his sleeping bag, and wildly staring around the darkened tent.

"Hmm…? I didn't hear anything…" Greg mumbled, rolling over, and closing his eyes. "Must have been your imagination…" he grinned. _And now I can get some peace and quiet._

"I could have sworn…" Grissom frowned, laying back down.

---------------

**Nick and Warrick's**** Tent**

"GRISSOM?" Greg yelled, shattering the silence of the night.

"I… don't want to know…" Warrick said with a grin.

_Seriously… does he like her…?_ Nick questioned himself.

"So… what's going on between you and Sara…?" Warrick nonchalantly asked his friend.

"Huh…? What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean…?" Warrick laughed. "It was kind of obvious that there was something there between you two…"

"…Really…?" Nick asked.

"Yes, really…" Warrick trailed off.

"Well… you know…"

---------------

**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

"GRISSOM!" they heard Greg shout.

"Grissom…?" Sara asked, sitting up.

Catherine held back a small smile, looking over at her friend. "So… what do you think about Grissom…?" she asked.

"What do you mean…? I don't…understand your question…" she trailed off.

Catherine raised another eyebrow. "Do you… like him…?"

"Sure," Sara slowly shrugged. "He's a great supervisor…"

"And…?"

"And that's it…" Sara concluded. "Perhaps at one time I would have thought of him as more than a supervisor, but… not anymore…"

"…Why…?" Catherine quietly asked.

"Grissom doesn't have feelings for anyone…" she mumbled. "Let alone me…"

"I… wouldn't be so sure about that…" Catherine told her with a sigh.

---------------

**Grissom and Greg's Tent**

Grissom immediately fell back to sleep, snoring.

"Grissom, wake up…" Greg mumbled.

Grissom continued to snore.

"Grissom, I said, wake up!" Greg repeated, a bit more loudly.

Yet again, Grissom continued to snore.

"WOW! LOOK AT THAT SPIDER!" Greg screamed, feigning excitement.

"A spider? Where?" Grissom asked, immediately sitting up, and putting on his glasses.

"What…?" Greg sleepily asked. "I don't see a spider…"

"But you just said that you did!" Grissom replied, standing up.

"It wasn't me…" Greg yawned.

---------------

**Nick and Warrick's Tent**

"WOW! LOOK AT THAT SPIDER!" Greg screamed.

Nick frowned. "_What_ is going on over there?"

"I don't know, man… so about Sara…?" Warrick prodded.

"Right… well, I've liked her for a little while now…" he trailed off.

Warrick raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Kind of obvious, given tonight…"

"Right…" Nick sighed. "I didn't mean to… be that open about it…"

"You definitely showed your hand, before the final card was dealt," Warrick told him.

"I… know…" Nick sighed. "I'll talk to her… tomorrow…goodnight, Rick."

"Goodnight, Nick…" he whispered back.

"Rick and Nick…" Nick mumbled, closing his eyes. "That rhymes."

Warrick just laughed, before falling asleep.

---------------

**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

"WOW! LOOK AT THAT SPIDER!" Greg shouted.

"_What_ are they doing over there…?" Catherine asked with a yawn.

"Don't know," Sara quietly replied.

"So… do you have feelings for Nick…?"

"I… uh…" Sara hesitated. "I…don't know…

"Confused, are you?" Catherine smiled.

"Yes…" Sara frowned.

"Talk to them both at some point. Get some sleep for now, and talk to them both later…"

"Okay…" Sara sighed, closing her eyes. "Thanks, Catherine…"

"You're welcome, Sara. Goodnight…" she replied.

"Goodnight…"

---------------

**Grissom and Greg's Tent**

"There's no spider in here, Greg," Grissom matter-of-factly told him, crawling back into his sleeping bag.

"My mistake," Greg sighed. "Sorry…" he added, starting to fall asleep.

"No problem," Grissom told him with a smile. "I'm sure we'll see quite a bit of wildlife tomorrow… right…?"

Greg did not answer him.

"Right, Greg?" Grissom repeated.

Greg started to snore.

"Greg…?"

Greg continued to snore.

"Greg…?" Grissom repeated, this time a little bit more loudly.

Greg snored even louder.

"Greg Sanders, wake up!" he ordered, frowning.

"Huh…? What…?" Greg sputtered, immediately sitting up.

"You were snoring…" Grissom pointed out, once again removing his glasses, and laying down.

"Oh…" Greg sighed.

"BE QUIET!" Warrick's voice loudly filled the tent.

"C'MON, GREGGO, GO TO SLEEP!" Nick added.

"BOYS, BED TIME!" Catherine yelled out.

Sara remained quiet.

"What?" Greg quietly asked Grissom. "Was that directed at us…?"

Grissom buried his head in his sleeping bag, closing his eyes. "Go to sleep, Greg!"

"Huh? What did I do?" Greg asked, laying back down, and closing his eyes.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	10. Hanging Tough

**A/N: **As a side note, I do not know whether or not you can rappel in the Valley of Fire State Park. I am taking creative license in making that an activity at the park. In any event, thank you _so_ much to those of you who are still taking the time to read and review this fic!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title:** _Hanging Tough_

---------------

Grissom woke up at the crack of dawn, a small smile on his face. Rubbing his beard, he stood up, stretching. "Sleep well, Greg?" he asked, looking down at the younger man.

"No, and I'm still busy not sleeping well…" Greg mumbled under his breath, burrowing further into his sleeping bag.

"Come on, rise and shine! We have a big day ahead of us," Grissom told him, unzipping the flap of the tent, and walking out into the cool morning air of Valley of Fire State Park. "Catherine, Sara, Nick, Warrick! Let's go!" he said, walking over to their supplies, and grabbing some coffee to accompany their breakfast. Getting the hot water started, Grissom whistled part of Vivaldi's _Four Seasons_.

"Mmm…stop it…" Catherine groaned, covering her ears.

"Why… is he whistling…?" Sara grumbled, ignoring Grissom.

"Be quiet, Gris!" Warrick shouted.

Nick just put his pillow over his head, trying to tune Grissom out.

"What… is that…smell?" Greg murmured after a short while, sticking his nose out of his sleeping bag. "Is that... coffee…?" he asked. "Wait a minute, is that _my _special coffee…? GRISSOM!"

---------------

"I… don't think I can do this, Gil," Catherine quietly said, standing close to the precipice, and looking out over the wide expanse. "That's, uh… not only pretty, but… pretty steep…" she told him.

"It can't be that bad," Greg grinned, moving towards Catherine to peer over the cliff's edge. "And then again, maybe it can be…" he added, as the smile slowly faded from his face, replaced by a look of fear. "Grissom… are you sure that this is safe?"

"Yes," Grissom told him, pointing to Jon and Gary Teager, the guides, who were approaching their small group. "They are here to show us what to do, and then to make sure that we do it safely…"

"Has anyone ever… died rappelling?" Sara quietly asked Jon, looking over at him.

"I'm sure," Jon replied. "But not with us. People try to rappel on their own, and they end up doing something that is unsafe. We are going to make sure that absolutely nothing happens to any of you. We promise."

Gary nodded his agreement, as he started to get the ropes untangled. "So have any of you ever rappelled before?" he asked with a small smile.

"No, man, never," Warrick told him, his hands on his hips.

"I've wanted to," Nick spoke up, squinting, in order to block out the glare from the sun. "I think I am really looking forward to this," he admitted.

"Well I, for one, am _not _looking forward to this," Catherine told Grissom. "You're not really going to make us go over the ledge, Gil, are you?" she asked.

Grissom thought about Catherine's question for a moment, rubbing his chin. "No," he finally said with a sigh. "I am not going to make you go over the ledge. It will be up to each of you to decide whether or not you would like to rappel."

"What, uh, does rappelling entail?" Sara asked Gary, watching him lay out the lines.

"It's really pretty simple," he told her, looking up at her for a moment. "We attach you to a harness, and you control the speed of your decent. You basically push off of the mountain, releasing the line as you go… it's almost like playing leap frog, except for the fact that you are by yourself, and you are jumping down, rather than across."

"Oh," Sara mumbled.

"And…what is the purpose of this…activity, Grissom?" Greg then asked.

"Rappelling is not easy to do, Greg," he replied. "Well…I take that back. It is physically easy to do, but it can be mentally challenging. When you step out over the ledge, and you look down, you see nothing but the ground below you. That can be a very sobering experience," Grissom shrugged. "It can make you ponder your life…and it can help you learn a little bit more about yourself."

"Alright, folks, here is how this is going to work," Jon finally spoke up. "Gary is going to rappel down to the bottom, and he will be down there to coach all of you as you descend. I will be up here to get everyone started. So… who's going first…?" he asked, as Gary harnessed himself in, and took a step over the edge.

Looking around at his friends, Warrick raised a hand "I'll go first," he shrugged. "It'll be…fun, I guess" he added, as he walked away with Jon in order to get hooked up.

"Fun is _not _what I would call this," Sara mumbled to herself, sitting down on a rock outcrop.

---------------

Fifteen minutes later, Warrick was safely on the ground, and Catherine was ready to go. "You sure about this?" she once again questioned Jon.

"Yup," he told her, walking her over to the edge. "Now just lean back, as if you are sitting in a chair," he instructed her. "And walk… just walk down the cliff…"

"Right…" Catherine mumbled, nervously peering between her legs at the ground.

"C'mon, Cath, you can do it!" Warrick cheered from the basin. "Just c'mon down!"

"Uh-huh…" Catherine muttered, as she took her first step. Taking a couple of more tiny steps, she started to relax, even smiling. "This isn't so bad!" she announced to everyone.

Nick grinned, watching her from above. "Good! It looks fun!"

"It is," she confirmed, taking some larger leaps. "And it's actually very gorgeous, when you stop to take a moment to check out the scenery!"

When Catherine was safely on the ground, Greg volunteered to go next. "WAHOO! I'M SPIDER MAN!" he shouted, as he flew down the face of the cliff.

---------------

"Okay…" Sara whispered, as she watched Jon check and double-check her harness. "A-are you s-s-sure that this is safe…?"

"Yes," Jon told her. "You will be perfectly safe, Sara. The hardest part will be your first step."

"Okay…" Sara whispered, as she gripped the rope with both hands.

"Don't forget the break," Jon told her, reminding her of its location. "And remember, I'm also holding onto you. You'll be fine."

Sara weakly nodded, cautiously stepping out towards the edge of the cliff, and glancing down. Tightly shutting her eyes, she took a deep breath, slowly letting the air out.

"You can do this, Sara!" Warrick shouted from the base of the cliff.

"Come on Sara, if I can do it, anyone can do it!" Catherine added, shielding her eyes against the sun, and staring up at her friend. "Just take the first step!"

For once, Greg chose to keep his smart remarks to himself, only telling Sara that she would be fine.

_I can do this…_ Sara told herself. _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this._

"It's alright, Sara," Nick confidently told her, standing next to her. "Stop facing outwards, though, and just turn around towards us…"

"Just take that first step," Grissom's calm voice added.

"'One small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind,' right?" Sara asked Grissom, trying to swallow her fear.

"No," Grissom replied with a small smile. "But doing this will help build up your courage and self-respect…"

"Why… why do you have to go down backwards…?" Sara then asked Jon, barely above a whisper.

"Because you push off of the mountain, Sara," he replied. "And you can't push off of something, unless you are facing it. I promise you, though, that after the first step, it isn't so bad. You might even find it enjoyable..."

Sara nodded, slowly turning around to face Nick, Grissom, and Jon. _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this_, she chanted to herself, as she once again closed her eyes. Shuffling backwards, Sara froze, the moment that she felt her left heel slip off of the edge of the mountain top.

"Come on, Sara!" Warrick again encouraged her. "You're almost to the starting point!"

"You can do this, I know you can!" Greg told her. "You can even tease me just as soon as you're down at the bottom, Sara!" he added.

_I can do this, I can do this, I can do this_, Sara continued to tell herself, as she shuffled a fraction of an inch closer to the edge. "Am I… am I there yet…?" she whispered to Jon.

"Not quite. One foot is in position," he told her. "You just have to move your right foot a little bit closer to the ledge… and then you just pretend that you are climbing down a very tall ladder…"

"Right…" she mumbled. "Except for the fact that this particular ladder is miles high…"

"Not quite, Sara," Grissom told her. "It's more like—"

"Shh! I'm concentrating!" she interrupted him. _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this… _she repeated to herself, as she slid her right foot over to the precipice.

"Okay, Sara. Deep breath," Jon told her. "And then just lean back, and walk."

"Lean back? You want me to lean back?" she asked, starting to feel a little bit panicked. "What if I fall? What if the rope breaks? What if—"

"Sara, it will be okay," Grissom quietly told her. "Warrick, Catherine, and Greg are already at the bottom. You can do this," he promised her. "You need to trust yourself, okay…? We won't let you fall…I promise…"

Sara meekly nodded, as she slowly tipped her body backwards, and walked over the lip of the cliff.

"You're doing it, Sara!" Greg screamed from below. "You're really doing it!"

"Nice job, Sara! Keep coming!" Warrick added.

"You're doing great, Sara!" Catherine yelled, loudly clapping her hands.

Nick slowly walked to the edge of the cliff, leaning over, and watching Sara's progress. "Doing great, Sar. Hang in there," he told her.

Rubbing his chin, Grissom followed Nick to the ledge, smiling down at Sara. "You're a quarter of the way down," he commented. "You're doing fantastic!" he added.

"I'm… a quarter of the way down…?" Sara quickly asked aloud, stopping for a moment to take a deep breath. _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this_, she happily told herself, believing it for the first time. Suddenly deciding to look between her legs at the ground below, Sara once again froze. "I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THIS!" she screamed, clinging to the rope for dear life.

"Sara," Nick told her, "Yes you can!"

"Take a deep breath, Sara," Grissom ordered her. "I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay?"

"I CAN'T DO THIS!" she screamed back, panic filling her lungs. "I CAN'T DO THIS!" she added, as she clawed at the cliff, trying to stop the rope's gentle swaying motion.

"Sara!" Warrick called from the ground. "You're okay! Really!

"Just keep moving down, Sara!" Catherine tried to encourage her.

"It's easier to go down than it is to go up!" Greg added.

Sara tightly closed her eyes, willing herself to breath. _Breathe. I can't! Yes you can. No, I can't! Help! Someone please help me! I'm going to fall! I'm going to die!_ she kept telling herself, over and over again.

"Sara?" Grissom tried again. "Sara, listen to my voice. You're having a panic attack. You're okay, I promise you, but we all need you to breathe for us. Take a deep breath, okay!" _Please, before you pass out!_

"I CAN'T! I CAN'T BREATHE! I CAN'T DO IT!" Sara screamed, hanging a quarter of the way down the mountain. "I CAN'T MOVE! WHY CAN'T I MOVE?"

"Someone needs to go down after her…" Nick finally said, looking over at Jon. "She just needs to be talked down, right? She's just scared?"

Jon nodded. "She's just having a full-scale panic attack. One of you should rappel down and talk to her.

"I'll go…" Nick quietly said to Jon and Grissom, walking over to the edge of the cliff.

But before opening his mouth to say anything to Sara, however, she started to cry. "Grissom! I want Grissom! I can't breathe! Grissom, help me! Please, I'm sorry! Just help me!" she screamed.

"Did she just… yell for Grissom…?" Greg quietly asked Warrick.

"I, uh… think so, man…" Warrick whispered back.

Catherine looked up at Sara, lost in thought.

Nick looked over at Grissom, swallowing. _Did she… did she just ask for Grissom? I think I must have heard wrong_.

"Grissom!" Sara shouted again. "Help me, please! I can't breathe!"

_Or… maybe I heard correctly_, Nick sighed, staring over the ledge of the cliff at Sara.

"Okay, I'm coming," Grissom calmly told her, as Jon helped get him get into the harness. "Hang on, Sara, I'm coming…"

"Hurry! I can't breathe!" she screamed, clinging to the rock in front of her. "I can't!" she repeated, trying to take a deep breath.

"Yes you can, Sara," Grissom calmly told her, as he backed up to the edge of the cliff. Quickly stepping over, he rappelled down to her position.

"No, I can't…" she whispered to him, once he was next to her.

"Yes, you can, Sara. You're stronger than you think…"

"No, I'm not…" she whispered, afraid to move her body to look at him.

"Of course you are… you've survived so much already, Sara. You're strong…"

"I'm scared…" she whispered, sneaking a quick peak at the ground below her.

"I know," Grissom told her, reaching a tentative hand out to her. "But it's okay," he added, as he gently touched her arm.

Sara finally turned to look at him, her face as white as a ghost.

"We're going to rappel down together, alright…?" he asked her. "On the count of three. One, two, three…" he concluded, as he took a small leap down, waiting for her to catch up.

"I can't…" she whispered.

"Yes you can, Sara… I'm right here… trust me…"

"Okay…" she whispered, as she took a tiny leap down, once again even with him.

"One, two, three…" Grissom repeated, moving down.

Sara took a deep breath, following him.

"Almost there, Sara," Grissom told her, as he counted to three again, and leaped down. "Almost there…"

Sara nodded, as she rappelled the rest of the way down the cliff. Once on the ground, she fell to her knees, trying not to cry.

"It's alright, Sara," Catherine told her, kneeling down beside her. "You're okay! You did it!"

Sara stared at the ground, trying to take a deep breath.

"See, Sara? You can do whatever you put your mind to…" Warrick told her.

"And now you get to tease me… for free!" Greg added.

Sara just looked up at him, trying not to smile. "I tease you all of the time, Greg…" she pointed out.

"I know, but…" he grinned.

Moments later, Grissom made it to the ground, looking over at Sara. "Are you alright…?"

Sara quietly nodded, staring at the ground. "Thank you…" she whispered.

Grissom just nodded.

From the top of the cliff, Nick sadly watched his colleagues on the ground. _I should have said something to her earlier_… he told himself. Nick sighed, as Jon helped him into the harness. Within minutes, he, too, was on the ground.

"We're… not climbing back up there again, are we…?" Greg asked.

"No," Grissom told him. "We're boating back to camp."

"We're…what?" Catherine asked him.

"Grissom, I don't know if that is such a great idea…" Nick mumbled.

"Seriously…?" Warrick asked.

"Excellent!" Greg grinned. "WATER FIGHT!"

"Don't even try it, Greggo," Nick grinned.

"Right. Don't even go there, Greg," Catherine added.

"If you try, well… I just wouldn't, Greg!" Warrick warned him with a smile.

Sara just glanced over at Grissom…who was glancing right back at her.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	11. Hopes and Dreams

**A/N: **First of all, I hope that this chapter appears… nine and ten keep disappearing for some reason! And second of all, as always, thank you for taking the time to read and review this fic! Reviews of any kind make my day!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Hopes and Dreams_

---------------

"Was that _really _necessary?" Greg asked everyone, trying to squeeze the excess water out of his shirt. "Because I don't think that I actually deserved that!" he grumbled.

"Hey, man, I warned you!" Warrick grinned, following behind him.

"And yes, that was definitely necessary," Catherine added, tying back her now soaking wet hair. "You started it, Greg…" she told him.

"What did I do?" he asked, trying to hide his smile.

"Uh… you splashed Catherine with water," Grissom reminded him, trying to smooth out his sopping wet shirt.

"Who jumped up at the cold water hitting her, and dumped the entire rowboat into the lake," Nick added, running a hand through his wet hair.

Sara, bringing up the rear, just frowned.

"And because of a little splash," Greg asked, sitting down in front of the fire, "You all had to dunk me?"

"Pretty much, Greggo," Nick grinned, taking a seat next to him.

"You betcha," Warrick replied, joining them around the fire pit.

Catherine laughed, sitting down next to Nick. "You should have seen your expression, Greg," she smiled.

"You should have seen your _own_ expression, Catherine," Grissom told her, grabbing some dry wood from the wood pile, and setting it in the fire pit.

"It _was_ kind of funny, Catherine…" Sara offered with a small smile, sitting down next to her.

"Uh-huh," Greg grinned. "Well this officially ends 'pick-on Greg day!'"

"Actually," Warrick told him, checking his watch. "It's 4:00 pm now, so we still have another eight hours to go…"

---------------

"Grissom…?" Sara quietly asked, staring into the now blazing light of the fire. "Do we have anything other than hot dogs for dinner…?"

"Of course," Grissom told her with a small smile. "I got you some veggie hot dogs…"

"Oh… thanks…" she replied, watching Greg spear a hot dog, holding it over the fire.

"Do you… want me to get you one…?" Grissom tentatively asked, looking over at her.

"No, I'm okay, thank you," she replied, slowly standing up, and moving over to the cooler to grab herself a veggie dog.

"Hey…" Catherine greeted her, stepping aside so that Sara could grab what she needed.

"Hi…" Sara replied.

"So another big day, eh…?"

"Uh-huh… I… thought that I was going to die…" Sara quietly said, reaching into the cooler, and grabbing the package of veggie dogs.

"I know," Catherine told her, pulling a couple of diet cokes out of the cooler. "You were definitely scared…I don't think I've ever actually seen you that scared before…" she trailed off.

"Yeah…" Sara mumbled. "I'm not sure why I froze like that… I guess… I have a small fear of heights," she sighed.

"Well, lucky for you," Catherine smiled, "we're done with mountain climbing… tomorrow is just a swim and have fun day."

Sara gave her a small smile, removing one of the veggie dogs from the package. "Good. I think I could use a day just to relax," she commented, as she rejoined the rest of the group by the fire, inwardly feeling a little bit uncomfortable with the fact that Grissom was sitting right next to her.

"How do you know when these hot dogs are done…?" Greg asked Nick, who was holding his hot dog in the middle of the flame.

"I don't know, Greggo," he shrugged. "I was just going to wait until it was crispy, and then go from there…"

"No clue," Warrick added, when Greg turned to look at him. "I was actually going to do the same thing."

Catherine rolled her eyes at Greg, Nick, and Warrick, smiling. "Hot dogs are a pre-cooked food, gentlemen," she informed them all. "Just wait until it looks hot enough, and you'll be fine," she added, sitting down beside Sara. "I would assume that it is the same thing for a veggie dog, but I honestly don't know," Catherine told her, spearing her hot dog, and holding it over the flame while it roasted.

"So…" Grissom cleared his throat. "I figured that we would do some more talking, while our hot dogs roasted…"

"Do we… have to…?" Greg asked, looking up at his supervisor. "I ran out of deodorant, and… like I said, sharing makes me sweat."

"A little too much information, Greg," Catherine sighed, staring at the ground. "But thanks for that."

Warrick laughed, looking over at Greg.

"No one _has _to share," Grissom again spoke up. "But… I thought that I would still pose my question."

"What is it, Grissom…?" Nick asked.

"We've talked about your greatest fears… now I think we should talk about your hopes and dreams for the future. Although I am interested in your goals as they pertain to work, I am _more_ interested in hearing about your _personal _hopes and dreams.

Warrick sighed. "I think that that might actually be more difficult to answer than the greatest fears question, Gris," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Catherine frowned. "I would agree…" she trailed off, trying to think of something. "I guess I've never really thought about it before," she added.

"Me, either," Greg mused.

"My dream is to someday have a normal life…" Sara spoke up from her seat, in between Catherine and Grissom.

Nick raised an eyebrow, staring down at the ground. "My dream is to somehow find happiness and acceptance somewhere…"

"I want Lindsey to be a well-adjusted young lady…" Catherine added, meeting the gazes of her colleagues.

"I wouldn't mind owning my own luxury coffee shop someday," Greg threw out there, once again staring into the fire.

Warrick grinned, trying to hold back a laugh.

"What…?" Greg asked. "I was being serious!"

"I can definitely see you owning a coffee shop, man," Warrick replied, slapping him on the back. "And as for me, I just want to find contentment in my life."

Sighing, Grissom looked up at the group. "I…want…. I don't know," he again sighed. "I need more time to think about it, I guess…."

"Hey!" Greg sputtered. "Not fair!"

"No one _has _to share, Greg," Catherine reminded him.

"I know, but…" he trailed off. "I know. You're right."

"I… think that the hot dogs are done, everyone…" Grissom quietly said, standing up to find the package of buns. "So… let's eat up… we have another busy day ahead of us…"

"Swimming, right?" Greg asked.

Grissom gave Greg a small nod, before digging into his hot dog.

_What are his hopes and dreams? _Sara asked herself. _Why couldn't he share them…?_

_Does he honestly not know what his hopes and dreams are…?_ Nick questioned himself. _Or is he just too shy to share them aloud…?_

_Man, this hot dog is good! _Greg smiled, chuckling to himself.

_Why is Greg smiling…and laughing?_ Warrick asked himself. Shaking his head, he grinned. _On second thought, I really don't want to know!_

_It's too quiet out here… I miss the city!_ Catherine thought with a sigh. _And Lindsey..._

Grissom stared at the fire, lost in thought. _Love. I want to find love_.

---------------

**Later that night, by the campfire**

"No! Absolutely not!" Greg mumbled, staring at Nick and Warrick. "You can't make me, guys!" he told them, trying not to whine.

"Sorry, Greggo," Nick grinned. "Seniority wins out… have a nice night!" he added, as he walked into his tent.

Following Nick, Warrick tried not to laugh. "Goodnight, Greg!"

"Boys…" Catherine muttered to herself, walking into the tent that she shared with Sara.

"Sara…" Grissom quietly said, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"…Yes…?"

"Tomorrow… I would like to speak with you… alone…if that's okay…?" he asked, nervously rubbing his beard.

"…Okay…" Sara hesitantly told him, before climbing into her tent for the night.

With a sigh, Grissom walked into his tent.

---------------

**Later that night**

"GRISSOM!" Greg shouted.

"GREG!" Warrick, Nick, and Catherine all shouted together.

Sara was sound asleep, oblivious to everyone else around her.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	12. Say It Like It Is

**A/N: **First of all, I hope that this chapter also appears… now nine through eleven are acting iffy! And as always, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review this fic! I have enjoyed writing it thus far, and I hope that you are enjoying reading it!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The poem is Robert Frost's "Wind and Window Flower," and the theme song is to _Flipper_.

**Title: **_Say It Like It Is_

---------------

**The Campsite**

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Greg loudly said, running down the path from the campground's facilities to their campsite, his bathing suit already on. "The water is calling my name!"

"Water can't talk, man," Warrick yawned, crawling out of his tent, and running a hand through his hair. Stretching, he glanced back into the tent, mumbling something about his bathing suit and towel.

"Warrick… bathing suit… change… now…" Greg told him, sitting down around the fire pit.

"Right," Warrick replied, slipping back into the tent to grab his suit.

"I'm going to the restrooms," Nick announced to Greg, exiting his tent.

"You better have a bathing suit in your hand," Greg warned, suspiciously eyeing the plastic bag.

"Greggo, relax, I do!" Nick smiled. "But if you keep this up, I'm going to dunk you again later…I'll be back in a few minutes. Please, try to contain yourself!" he added, jogging off down the trail.

"Catherine? Sara? Are you two awake…?" Greg then quietly asked, walking over to their tent.

"I don't know how we _couldn't _be awake," Sara grumbled, unzipping the flap, and stepping out into the morning sun. "Do you think that you made enough noise, Greg…?" she asked, as she started to follow Nick down the path to the facilities.

"No, not really…" Greg shrugged. "If I was, everyone would be up and ready to go…"

"Greg," Grissom sighed, stepping out of his own tent. "It's only nine in the morning…was this really necessary?"

"You bet it was," Greg told him, smiling, as he saw Catherine also emerge from her tent.

Catherine frowned. "I need to go change…" she mumbled, carrying her bathing suit with her to the restrooms.

"Me, too," Grissom added, as he walked back into his tent.

Greg just grinned, waiting for everyone to come back. Laughing to himself, he started to sing one of his favorite television theme songs: "'They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning/No one you see, is smarter than he/And we know Flipper, lives in a world full of wonder/Flying there under, under the sea!'"

"Greg…" Grissom sighed, re-emerging from his tent, now dressed in a bathing suit and a white t-shirt. "You _do _know that there are no dolphins in Lake Mead, right…?"

Greg just grinned.

---------------

**The Lake**

Twenty minutes later, Greg ran down the path to Lake Mead, cannonballing into the water. "That's cold!" he told everyone.

"Yes… it is," Catherine sighed, dipping her toe into the lake.

Without hesitating, Warrick scooped Catherine up in his arms, splashing into the water after Greg.

"Hey! Warrick! Put me down!" Catherine screamed, laughing.

"Really?" Warrick asked. "You got it, Cath!" he grinned, as he dropped her right into the water.

"Not what I meant!" she told him, sputtering, as her feet found the ground. Standing up, she playfully splashed him with water.

"I want in on this!" Greg grinned, swimming over to Warrick and Catherine, and splashing both of them.

Nick just laughed, taking his time getting into the water.

"I don't think so, man," Warrick frowned, watching Nick's slow progress. "Greg? Catherine?" he asked, getting their attention. Pointing to Nick, he grinned. "On the count of three, okay…? One… two…"

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Nick shouted, quickly looking up.

"THREE!" Warrick, Catherine, and Greg all shouted together, splashing him.

---------------

**The Beach**

"So… can we… talk now…?" Grissom asked Sara, before she had the chance to follow Nick into the water.

"Sure…" Sara trailed off, burying her toes in the sand.

"Would you like to… take a walk…?" Grissom asked, pointing away from the lake, and up the beach.

"Okay…" Sara quietly replied, finding something in the sand to study, still not moving. Feeling Grissom's eyes on her, she sighed. "Oh. Did you, uh… mean now…?"

Grissom pursed his lips. "Yes…" he quietly replied. "If now is good for you…"

Sara shrugged, slowly walking down the beach. Taking a deep breath, Grissom followed her.

---------------

**The Lake**

"Where are they going…?" Greg quietly asked Warrick, once again splashing him.

"Don't know, man, but it's none of our business, either…"

Nick just watched Sara and Grissom walk off together, until Catherine splashed him. "You did not!" he said with a smile, tearing his eyes away from the pair on the beach, and focusing his attention on getting even with her. "Tell me that you didn't!" he grinned, splashing her back.

"WATER FIGHT!" Greg yelled.

---------------

**The Beach**

Grissom cleared his throat, sneaking a quick peak at Sara out of the corner of his eyes. "So…" he trailed off.

"Yeah…"

_This is unbelievably awkward_, Grissom thought to himself.

_Why won't he just talk to me…? This is… awkward…_ Sara thought with a sigh.

"I don't… really know what to say, Sara," Grissom hesitated, walking towards a rock outcrop, and taking a seat on it. "I just…"

Sara sat in the sand next to the rock, looking up at Grissom, listening.

"I just…" he continued, sighing. "I'm not very good at expressing myself, Sara… I never was, although… I guess you already know that."

Sara raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back a small laugh. "That is… a bit of an understatement, don't you think...?" she asked him.

Grissom just frowned, biting his lip. Sighing, he quietly said, "'Lovers, forget your love/

And list to the love of these/She a window flower/And he a winter breeze.'"

"…What…?" Sara asked him, puzzled. "I don't… understand."

"Robert Frost, 'Wind and Window Flower…'" he replied.

"I still… don't get it…" Sara mumbled.

"You are the window flower, and I am the winter breeze, Sara. You are… delicate, and sensitive, and…" _Beautiful. _

"And… what…?" Sara tentatively asked him, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"And… brilliant…" he finished. "And… I am the winter breeze. Cool, unfeeling, destructive…"

"You're not… destructive, Grissom," Sara quietly told him, watching an ant walk across the sand in front of her.

"Yes I am," he told her. "But listen. There's more. 'When the frosty window veil/

Was melted down at noon/And the caged yellow bird/Hung over her in tune/He marked her through the pane/He could not help but mark/And only passed her by/To come again at dark.'"

"You've… stalked me…?" Sara quietly asked, once again suppressing a small smile.

"No," Grissom told her, her sarcasm lost on him. "But… I have… thought about you over the past six or so years. I… took note of you, and… admired you from afar… and yet… I never said anything to you," he admitted, rubbing his beard in an attempt to cover up his nerves.

"But… I don't understand, Grissom…" Sara whispered. "I've… asked you out before… if you've thought about me in the past, then… why did you never say yes…?"

"Because," Grissom replied, looking over at her. "'He was a winter wind/Concerned with ice and snow/Dead weeds and unmated birds/And little of love could know.' Sara…" he sighed. "I don't… know much about… love. It makes me feel…awkward and uncomfortable."

_Did he just say…love? Did Grissom just say the word 'love?' _"You said love…" she pointed out.

"I just meant that I don't know much about…relationships. I've… had a few, but… I am so out of touch with dating, that I just… don't know how to act…" he admitted. Glancing out at the water, Grissom closed his eyes for a moment. "'But he sighed upon the sill/He gave the sash a shake/As witness all within/Who lay that night awake./Perchance he half prevailed/To win her for the flight/From the firelit looking-glass/And warm stove-window light.'"

Sara glanced down the beach, watching Nick and Warrick gang up on Greg. Again. "They won't… leave him alone," she mumbled, trying to process Grissom's words.

"Who won't… leave whom alone…?" he asked, confused. _Did she… hear what I just said…?_

"Nick and Warrick," she pointed to the water. "They won't leave Greg alone…"

"Oh…" Grissom replied.

"I don't… what are you trying to tell me, Grissom…?" Sara asked, turning her face so that she could study his expression.

"I'm telling you that the winter wind is trying to meet the window flower… I'm… trying, Sara. But… there's one more verse. 'But the flower leaned aside/And thought of naught to say/And morning found the breeze/A hundred miles away.' I… like this poem," Grissom quietly told her, his eyes meeting hers. "Except for the last line. The wind… did not believe that he could love the flower, or that the flower would love him back, until… it was too late… by the time that he was ready to try to… form a relationship with her, she had… already given up on him…"

Sara swallowed, looking down at the sand.

"Sara… say something… please…?" Grissom asked her.

"I don't… I don't know what to say, Grissom…" she whispered. "I've… waited for years to hear you tell me that you have feelings for me, and… you still can't technically tell me what I want to hear… you have to hide behind a poem…"

"Sara, I just… I don't know how to express my feelings," he quietly told her. "But that doesn't make them any less real…"

Sara hesitantly looked up at Grissom. "So… you do…? Have feelings for me…?"

Grissom slowly nodded yes.

"Good, because I have feelings for you, too…"

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	13. Onward and Upwards

**A/N: **I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for taking this mini fan fic journey with me. I had no clue where _The Retreat _was going to end up when I first started writing it, and… I appreciate all of your comments along the way! This is the final chapter, and I hope that you all enjoyed reading the entire story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The ant fact came from this amazing school website in Illinois. The website is: http/www.ivyhall.district96.k12.il.us/4th/kkhp/1insects/ant.html.

**Title: **_Onward and Upwards_

---------------

**The Beach**

Sara sighed, once again watching an ant crawl across the sand. "It's so… tiny…" she pointed out to Grissom.

Grissom held back a small smile. "Did you know that there are thirty-five thousand different types of ants in the world…?"

Sara chuckled, looking up at him. "Well that's good to know. I can now die happy, knowing that there are thirty-five thousand different types of ants in the world, rather than thirty-four thousand, or even thirty-six thousand."

"Are you making fun of me?" Grissom jokingly asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Me…?" Sara smiled. "Never…"

"So… where… does this leave us, then…?" Grissom quietly asked her, trying to bring the conversation back to its original focus.

Sara bit her lip, thinking. "Honestly? I… don't know… I feel like I've been waiting for this moment to occur for years, and…now that it has, I don't… know what to do, or what to say."

"I don't, either," Grissom admitted. "And I had all night to think about what I was going to say to you, too." Pausing for a moment to rub his beard, and getting off of the rock that he had been perched on, he sighed. "How about this, Sara?"

Sara bit her lip, still staring at the ground. "What…?"

"What if we just started off slowly….? Maybe… we can…get some dinner together, once we return to Vegas…?"

"Dinner is… good…" Sara told him, flashing him a small smile as she stood up, brushing the sand off of her legs.

"Maybe… at a restaurant on the strip…? Where we can just… talk…?" Grissom suggested, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"Talking is… nice…" Sara smiled, finally lifting up her eyes to meet his.

"You need to understand, though…" Grissom cleared his throat. "I'm not one to… rush into things…"

Sara raised an eyebrow, holding in a laugh. "I gathered that much, Grissom… it's taken us six years just to get to this point… slow is fine. Seriously."

"Good," he nodded, glancing down the beach at Warrick, Greg, Nick, and Catherine. "They're at it again…"

"They actually never stopped," Sara told him. "Warrick and Nick have been splashing Greg non-stop. I almost feel bad for the guy!" she laughed.

"Well…should we head back…?" Grissom sighed, looking over at Sara.

"Yes… but you don't actually swim, do you…?" she asked, as they started walking back towards the rest of the team, side by side.

"No, not really," Grissom replied, giving her a slight shrug. "But enough people have left their comfort zones over the past couple of days… I'm pretty sure that I can handle a little splashing…" he smiled, as he slowly moved his hand closer to Sara's hand, so that their fingers were just barely touching.

"I see…" she replied, with the smallest hint of a smile. "But be warned, Grissom. I have a feeling that the guys will gang up on you…"

"On me…?" Grissom asked, raising an eyebrow. "They wouldn't dare!"

"I think they would," she grinned, slowly sliding her hand into his. "I think they would."

---------------

**The Ride Home**

"Grissom…I can't believe that you did that," Nick laughed from the back seat of the vehicle. "I didn't think that you had it in you…"

"Will wonders never cease…?" Catherine asked the group, raising an eyebrow. "I have to admit, Grissom, I was a little bit surprised at you, too…" she added, turning her head to glance in his direction. "You really don't strike me as the 'dunk and run' kind of guy…"

Grissom just chuckled.

_Yeah… not so surprised,_ Sara smiled, staring out the window. _And…Greg did have it coming to him_.

"I thought 'pick-on Greg' day ended last night?" Greg mumbled, unable to erase the grin from his face.

Nick gently poked him in the ribs, laughing. "I think it restarted, when you pretended to be a shark…"

"That's for sure," Warrick added with a smile. "Only…" he glanced at his watch, "Twelve more hours left of 'pick-on Greg' day!"

"Speaking of sharks," Grissom interrupted Warrick, glancing at Greg through the rearview mirror. "As your supervisor, I think that it is important for me to point out that there are no sharks in Lake Mead…." he grinned.

"Yes, I know, thank you very much," Greg replied with a slight smile. "I _did_ graduate from college with an actual degree…."

"We're just teasing you, Greg," Warrick laughed, turning around to look at him.

"Because you care," Greg chuckled. "I know, I know. But you know what? For all of my complaining about this trip before we left, Grissom, the retreat really _was_ a great idea…I'm glad that we took the time to come here."

"I am, too," Catherine quietly spoke up. "I certainly learned a lot about myself… and a lot about all of you…"

"That goes triple for me, man," Warrick added.

"I'm just glad that I got the chance to learn a little bit more about all of you…" Nick said, looking towards the front of the vehicle. "Because although I have always considered you to be friends, this weekend really gave me the chance to get to know each and every one of you, on an entirely different level." _Although for you, Sara, I wish that the outcome had been slightly different. At least we're still friends…_

"And for that, I am truly thankful," Sara smiled, glancing up at the rearview mirror. _After all, if not for this retreat, I wouldn't be having dinner with Grissom this week_, she thought to herself, eventually returning her gaze to the outside scenery.

"I, for one, am just glad that you all embraced this idea the way that you did," Grissom told everyone. "Because in all honesty, I think that this weekend will help us become a much stronger team… and ultimately, a much stronger family," he added with a smile. "So where do we go from here…? Onward and upwards… onward and upwards."

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	14. One Year Later

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment on this fic… I loved reading what you had to say, and I took all of your comments to heart (for example, thanks to TAE1, I learned that Lake Mead is extremely close to Las Vegas, and a much better park… who knew? So all references to the actual park have been changed to Lake Mead). In any event, I thought about it, and I decided that a sequel is indeed in order. The following chapters all take place one year after the last retreat, so… read along, and find out what everyone has been up to over the past year!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_One Year Later_

---------------

**The Break Room**

"I don't know about this…" Greg grumbled, his hands clasped tightly around a piping-hot cup of coffee. "I really don't…" he added, just in case everyone hadn't heard him.

"Of _course _it's a great idea, Greggo!" Nick smiled. "Remember how much…uh…fun we all had the last time that we went away?" he chuckled.

"No… can't say that I do…" Greg mumbled, staring down at the table.

"'C'mon, Greg…" Warrick laughed. "The surf, the sand, the fresh air…"

"The rappelling, the bugs, Grissom's snoring…" Greg trailed off.

Catherine flipped her hair out of her eyes, staring over at her younger, very unhappy, colleague. "The outdoor cooking, the relaxation, the 'getting to know you better…' conversations…" she chimed in.

"The difficult discussions, the sweaty armpits, the lack of good showers…" Greg immediately retorted.

"I think it might be good for all of us to get away…" Sara quietly spoke up. "It will give us a chance to talk some more… to see what's changed in our lives over the past year…"

Grissom raised an eyebrow, glancing around the table at his team. Nodding, he made eye contact with each individual criminalist. "We will go back to Lake Mead for the entire weekend, and… we will talk, and we will share, and we will complete some new team-building exercises…" he announced. "And hopefully, we will continue to grow, and become stronger, as a family unit…" he added.

Greg frowned, looking up at his supervisor. Raising his hand, and opening his mouth as if to say something, he took a deep breath. "Can we b—" he started to ask.

"No, Greg," Grissom interrupted him, flashing him a smile, wry smile. "No batteries, no walkmans, no CD players, no hand-held DVD players, and no Gameboys...basically, nothing electronic what-so-ever…."

Greg slowly put his hand down, pursing his lips, and biting back a comment.

Sara chuckled, glancing over at him. "Sorry, Greg," she smiled. "I guess you'll just have to focus on the team this weekend…"

"But a lot can be said for two-player video games…" Greg trailed off, standing up, and stretching. "So when are we leaving, Grissom?" he asked. Although it didn't seem like it, Greg was really looking forward to the Retreat, and… he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

"Next Friday at noon…" Grissom replied, also standing up.

The assembled criminalists all nodded, heading toward the door. "This will be great, Rick!" Nick grinned, as he exited the break room.

"Yeah, you're telling me," Warrick replied with a smile.

"Just as long as we get to swim…" Greg mumbled, following his two friends out the door.

"Are you sure about this, Gil?" Catherine quietly asked him, standing up, and gazing over at him.

"I think it will be good for us," he shrugged, nodding at Catherine as she left the room. "Besides," he smiled at Sara, "You know what happened the last time that we went away…"

Sara smiled. "My whole life changed…"

---------------

**In the van: one week later**

"Oh camping we will go, oh camping we will go…" Greg's voice rang out from the backseat of the van.

"We should have just let him bring his Gameboy," Sara frowned, looking over at Grissom.

Grissom raised an eyebrow, grinning. "True, but… that would have defeated the purpose of a retreat, now wouldn't it have…?" he quietly asked her.

"I suppose so…" Sara smiled, returning her attention to the scenery outside of the van.

"Yo, man," Warrick lightly punched Nick in the arm. "Want to share a tent with me again this year?"

"You bet!" Nick smiled. "I don't want any part of Grissom's snoring…" he trailed off.

"Oh camping we will go," Greg started over, chuckling to himself. "Oh camping we will g—wait a minute, what did you just ask him?" he grilled Nick, stopping in mid-verse.

"Nothing…" Nick shrugged.

"No, really… what did you just ask me?" he repeated his question.

"Did you remember to pack your earplugs, Greggo?" Warrick asked his colleague, grinning from ear to ear.

"No, why…?" he hesitantly asked.

Catherine turned to look at Greg, waiting for the realization to set in.

"Wait for it…" Nick whispered to Catherine and Warrick. "Wait for it, wait for it… here it comes!"

Greg's smile suddenly faded. "Did you ask him to share a tent with you…?"

Nick simply nodded, biting his lip.

Swallowing, Greg stared at Sara, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, next to Grissom, who was driving. "Uh, Sara?" he cautiously asked. When Sara turned around to look at him, he flashed her a disarming smile. "Are you, uh…sleeping in Grissom's tent…?"

Sara raised an eyebrow, choking back a laugh. "Catherine, we're sharing a tent, right?" she asked, glancing at the other woman.

"That's what I figured," Catherine replied, biting back her own laugh.

"So, Greg," Grissom loudly piped up. "That makes you and I tent-mates!"

"Again, Greggo," Nick chuckled. "Did you remember to pack your earplugs…?"

"No…" Greg mumbled. "I didn't…" he sighed.

---------------

**Campsite**

"What's for dinner?" Nick asked Grissom, standing underneath the food tent.

"Shish-ka-bobs!" Grissom announced, pointing to the skewers, the vegetables, the pork, and the chicken. "Come help yourselves, everyone! And then once your skewers are all set, we'll do some talking…"

"Oh, boy… food!" Greg smiled, quickly walking over to the tent, and taking a look at the spread.

Warrick and Nick just laughed, as they started to get their skewers together.

"Nice idea, Grissom," Catherine complimented her supervisor, as she glanced down at the chicken, and shoved it onto the skewer.

"And very easy to make…" Sara added, grabbing the vegetables, and spearing them.

Grissom just smiled, as he got to work.

Thirty minutes later, the criminalists all sat around the fire, staring at the ground. "Okay…" Grissom cleared his throat. "Well… first of all, I am glad that you were all so receptive to the idea of coming back to Lake Mead this year. I think that last year's outing enabled us all to better get to know one another, and I am hoping that this year's trip will help us all continue to get closer to one another…"

Nick glanced up at his supervisor, before returning his gaze to the roaring fire. "So… what are we going to be talking about, Grissom…?" he quietly asked, holding his hands up to the flame.

"I'd like to start off…easy…" Grissom replied, a small smile appearing on his lips. "So…tell me something that you all like about yourselves…"

"Oh, is that all…?" Warrick sarcastically asked. "Gee… that's an easy one…"

Catherine raised an eyebrow, thinking about Grissom's question. _Something that I like about myself? Something that I'm good at…? Uh…_

Nick continued to gaze at the fire, deep in thought.

"Can I say that I like how good I am at video games…?" Greg asked, trying to hide a laugh.

"No…" Grissom simply replied, flashing the younger man a small smile.

Even Sara, the person most currently comfortable with Grissom's line of thinking, felt a little bit uncomfortable. "What if… what if I don't like anything about myself…?" she finally squeaked out.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	15. Sara's Story: Value

**A/N: **I was talking with a friend last night about writing, and… we decided that reviews and comments, whether positive or negative, help a writer keep on writing (it's nice to know that someone is taking the time to see what you've written). I decided that because you all took the time to comment on my fic, I wanted to comment on your comments. So, here we go! **Junebugg**: I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully, you will enjoy the next! **Odeepblue**: thanks for always reading my fics! What did you expect? I'm curious! **QTR**: I've said it a million times: when it comes to writing, we really could finish each other's thoughts! Thanks for being so supportive! **The Lovely Desdemona**: I'm glad that you are liking this story… I always feel so bad that Greg ends up getting picked on, but… he provides the best comic relief! **Cherrydrops: **Thanks for your comment. Reviews keep me motivated to keep on writing, and your comments in particular always make me smile! **Dark-girl-faith-sidle**, I'm pretty sure she not only squeaked, but squawked in this chapter, as well! I hope you liked it! And last but not least, **Lennexa, **thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. All references to Sara's past in foster care belong to QTR. Interested in knowing more? Go to my favorite authors, click on her name, and check out her _The Life & Times of Sara Sidle_.

**Title: **_Sara's Story: Value_

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**Around the campfire**

"…What do you mean, Sara…?" Catherine quietly asked, glancing over at the other woman.

"I mean…" Sara frowned, swallowing. "What if I don't like anything about myself…?" she repeated her question, staring down at the fire. _Because in all honesty, there really isn't all that much to like about myself._

Nick furrowed his eyebrows, wanting to say something to make Sara feel better, but… not quite sure what to actually say. "Sara…" he hesitated. "There are a lot of good things about you…" he calmly told her, trying to smile.

Sara raised an eyebrow, looking over at Nick. "Not really…" she shrugged. "I'm…average…"

_You're above-average, _Grissom wanted to point out. _You're above-average, and you have so much to offer those around you… you just don't know it…_

"You have a lot to offer everyone, Sara…" Warrick kindly spoke up. "You're… good at your job…" he trailed off.

"Great," Sara mumbled. "So… I'm just good at my job…whoopee…"

"And you're a great friend," Nick added, throwing Warrick a look.

"You have a pretty good sense of humor, too…" Greg smiled, staring across the fire at her. "Not as good as mine, but… close!"

"Those things all might be true," Sara mumbled, kicking the dirt with the toe of her shoe. "But… I just don't see them in myself…" she whispered, biting her lip, and closing her eyes.

Catherine sighed, taking a deep breath. "Why not, Sara…?" she asked, her friend. "Why can't you see the value in yourself…?" she cautiously asked, making eye contact with her, before once again returning her gaze to the fire.

Sara swallowed, trying to collect her thoughts. "I… can't…explain it…" she murmured, as she stared at the cooking shish-kabobs.

Grissom cleared his throat. "Can you… try, Sara…?" he quietly asked her. "We're not going to judge you, are we, everyone?"

"No, definitely not…" Catherine immediately replied.

"Never…" Warrick trailed off, staring across the dancing flames at Sara.

"Who, me? Judge? Nah…" Greg smiled, running a hand through his spiky hair.

"You know us, Sara…" Nick jumped in. "We won't say anything bad at all…"

Sara blinked, not sure what to say to her friends… or even how to say it. Sara was well aware of the fact that she had a lot of issues, and… she didn't want to burden everyone else with her problems.

While Sara was thinking, Warrick threw Nick a concerned look, raising an eyebrow. They all remembered last year… and what Sara had confided in them. They knew that for her, talking about her childhood was difficult, to say the very least.

Nick caught Warrick's gaze, nodding back, before glancing over at Greg. _We have to be careful_… he mouthed to the younger man. _She's scared… and we don't want to make it any worse for her._

Greg simply nodded, rolling his eyes. _Duh… _he wanted to tell his colleagues. _I do have a brain…_

Catherine, meanwhile, continued to watch the flames, lost in her own little world.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Grissom cleared his throat. "Sara…?" he hesitantly asked. "You… don't have to share with us if you don't want to, but remember what happened when we went rappelling last year…?"

Sara slowly nodded her head, frowning. She had gotten stuck, and Grissom had rescued her.

"Well… I didn't let you fall then, and… I'm not going to let you fall now…I give you my word…" he whispered, trying to reassure her.

Sara swallowed, once again blinking. She desperately wanted Grissom to give her a hug, and to tell her that everything would be okay, but… she recognized the fact that they had made an agreement to not flaunt their relationship in front of the other team members. And although everyone already knew that they had been seeing each other for almost a year now, both Sara and Grissom had enough respect for one another, and their colleagues, to remain professional at all times. At least in public. "It's not… it's not that I don't _want _to share with you all," Sara finally mumbled. "It's just that… I don't know _how _to share…"

"Let's start at the very beginning," Greg started to sing the song from _The Sound of Music_. "A very good place to start…"

"Greg, knock it off!" Catherine immediately snapped at him.

Greg raised an eyebrow, but stopped singing. _I was just trying to lighten the mood…_ he thought to himself.

"Okay, well… Greg is right, I guess…" she trailed off.

Greg flashed Catherine a look, as if to say: _See? I told you so!_

"So… I guess in order to like yourself," Sara mused, "You have to believe that you have value…" she trailed off.

"And you don't…?" Catherine kindly asked her. "You don't believe that you have value…?"

"I… don't know…" Sara sighed. "And I don't want this to turn into the 'Sara pity-party, either, but…" she whispered, staring at her hands. "But…I told you all about my childhood at last year's retreat, right…?" Her friends all nodded. "Well… I never… had what a lot of other kids had. I never had a father who wanted to go to any of my extracurricular activities, or… a mother who baked me cookies for an after school snack…" she mumbled.

"I don't… I don't get it…" Greg hesitantly spoke up. "Why would that matter…?"

"Because, Greg," Sara bit her lip. "I never had a parent who cared about me. No one ever checked my homework, or grounded me for breaking the rules—"

"_You _broke rules…?" Greg incredulously asked, his eyes going wide.

"Greggo, let her speak!" Nick warned.

"Sorry…" Greg muttered.

Sara ignored Greg's comment, frowning. "Basically, I just never had anyone to really care about me… and that, I think, makes all of the difference in the world… I mean…" she glanced down at the cooking shish-kabobs again, lost in thought. "Our parents are supposed to tell us that they love us, right…? And to congratulate us when we do well on something…? Well… I never had that… I had an alcoholic and abusive father, a mother who ignored me, and a brother who abandoned me. And then…" she continued, "I had a foster brother who…"…_Raped… _"me…" she added, trying to bite back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

Warrick swallowed, rubbing the back of his neck. _So… basically, _he thought, _no one ever told you that you were special…?_

Nick frowned, staring up at the sky. _You didn't have anyone to hug or kiss you…_ he sighed. _Although… I guess you did... just not the right kind of hugs or kisses_, he bitterly thought.

Sara again swallowed, as a single tear slid down her cheek. "I mean… I _know _that I am a good person, and that… I am doing good work, but… my parents always pointed out my flaws…" she whispered, sniffling, as a second tear quickly slid down her cheek. Angrily wiping it away, she frowned. "I was my daddy's princess, but… he was no knight in shining armor. And as for my mother, well… she repeatedly told me that she wished that I had never been born. So…" she tried to continue, as the tears just started to flow. "I just… grew up hating myself!" she whispered, burying her head in her hands. "Because everyone else around me hated me, so… I figured that there had to be something wrong with me!" she shakily mumbled, as her body was wracked with sobs.

Nick glanced up at Grissom. "Do something…" he mouthed to him, nodding, when he saw Catherine trying to tell him the exact same thing. "We all know about you two, so just do something…" he mouthed.

"Sara…" Grissom coughed, clearing his throat. Slowly standing up, he carefully walked around the fire, sitting down beside her. "Hey… don't cry…" he whispered, brushing her tears away with his thumbs.

"But I hate myself!" she quietly told him, looking up at him, sobbing even harder. "I hate myself!" she repeated. "And so does everyone else!" she added, before crawling into his arms. Sara knew that very few people actually hated her, but at that moment in time, her mind was so clouded with sadness, that she just… couldn't see the sunshine through the clouds.

"But we don't hate you…" Grissom quietly pointed out, as he gently held her in his arms. "None of us do…"

"You know what, Sara…?" Greg hesitated, glancing over at her and Grissom.

"What…?" Sara whispered, as she swallowed, trying to calm herself down.

Greg frowned. He knew that he and his colleagues had already tried to point out some of the great things about Sara and her personality, but he also recognized the fact she needed to hear more positives about herself. "You are one of the people that I most respect around here…" he admitted, flashing her a small smile. "When I first switched over to being a criminalist, you just… helped me. You encouraged me, you helped foster my growth as a CSI, and you patiently showed me the ropes… if I had to pick one thing that I like the most about you," he mused, biting his lip, "I'd have to say that it is your ability to teach…and to teach, without making anyone feel stupid…"

Nick nodded, focusing his attention on the crackle of the fire for a moment, in order to better collect his thoughts. "And when I came back from being… buried alive…" he sighed, "You, uh… you helped me through the rough spots. I can't thank you enough for your friendship…"

Grissom remained quiet, as he gently rubbed Sara's back. _You taught me how to open up my heart…_ he wanted to tell her. _Not many people have been able to show me how to feel…_

"See?" Catherine smiled over at Sara. "You have so many good qualities… we just have to try to find a way to make you see them all, and to show you that you have some very likeable qualities…"

"And we have all weekend, and the rest of our lives, to do that…" Warrick added. "Okay…? We're not going to quit on your, Sara… you're too special to us…" he smiled, glancing over at her for a moment.

Sara slowly nodded, wiping the remainder of her tears away. "I'll try to see the good in myself, I promise… but…" she trailed off.

"But… what…?" Warrick quietly asked.

"Greg…?" Sara mumbled.

"What…?" Greg frowned, looking over at her. _What did I do now…?_

"Your shish-kabob is on fire…" she pointed out, flashing him a weak smile.

"Figures…why am I not surprised?" Greg grumbled.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	16. Catherine's Story: Lean on Me

**A/N: **Thank you, yet again, for all of your comments and reviews! They made me very happy! **Dark-girl-faith-sidle**, a "shish-kabob" actually exists. You make it on a skewer, and it is alternating pieces of meat and fruit… chicken, pork, pineapple, apples, melons, etc. I've never had one, but I've heard that they are good! And I'm glad that you liked the chapter! **Anneruhland**, I'm sorry that the chapter made you cry! We'll all see how the ending turns out, together (I just go where the story takes me)! **RunsWithScissors007**, Final Fantasy is one of my all-time favorite games. Thanks for reading! **Sanderswife**, thanks for your comment. I really want a shish-ka-bob now… hmm… **The Lovely Desdemona**, glad you liked the chapter! **Cherrydrops12**, Greggo takes song requests… have anything in mind? Hey, **odeepblue**, don't you worry, Sara will get happier…I think… I was actually going for "shy," at first, but it just didn't quite turn out that way! Thanks, **Lennexa**! I am trying _really _hard to stay in character (wow… I almost wrote OOC there. Oops!).

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The song is _Lean on Me_, by Bill Withers.

**Title: **_Catherine's Story: Lean on Me_

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**Around the campfire**

"It's just not fair!" Greg again grumbled, as he rescued his smoldering shish-kabob from the flames. "I have the best of luck, don't I…?" he asked his colleagues, studying the skewer in front of him.

"Sorry, Greggo!" Nick grinned, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Yeah, sure you are…" he muttered, as he plucked a charcoal-black piece of meat off of the skewer, and plopped it into his mouth. "Hmm… surprisingly not so bad, though!" he smiled, cautiously chewing the burned meat.

Warrick raised an eyebrow, watching Greg eat the food. "That, uh… looks very tasty, Greg…" he trailed off.

"Vegetarian… thank goodness, I'm a vegetarian…" Sara whispered to Grissom, trying her best not to gag.

Catherine just chuckled. "Do you want us to make you another one, Greg…?" she kindly asked the younger CSI.

"Nah, this one is just fine!" Greg laughed, as he popped a piece of fruit into his mouth.

Grissom bit his lip, glancing at the rest of the shish-kabobs. "Well, folks, the rest of ours aren't quite done yet, so… shall we continue…?"

Nick rubbed the back of his neck, staring into the fire, while Warrick gazed into the trees, lost in thought.

_If I can't see him, he can't see me…_ Catherine thought to herself, before bursting out into a fit of laughter.

Grissom raised an eyebrow, looking over at Catherine. "Do you… have something to share with the rest of the class…?" he teased her, flashing her a slight smile.

Grissom's choice of words only made Catherine laugh harder.

"What? What is it?" Greg asked, glancing up from his shish-kabob in order to grin at Catherine.

"Do you all remember being in school, when the teacher asked you a particularly difficult question that you didn't want to answer?"

_No…no, not really…_ Sara mused. _I actually liked the attention…_

"Well…" Catherine trailed off. "I remember thinking that if I didn't make eye contact with the teacher, then he or she couldn't see me… and if he or she couldn't see me, then I couldn't be called on to answer…"

Nick chuckled. "Actually, yeah… I do remember thinking like that," he smiled.

"Yup!" Warrick simply replied.

Grissom chuckled, nodding at her. "So… now that I can see you, do you care to share with us…?" he gently prodded her.

Catherine's smile slowly faded away, to reveal an uncharacteristically nervous expression on her face. "I…guess so…" she sighed. "Okay. So…what do I like the most about myself…? I love my ability to triage…"

Warrick furrowed his eyebrows, once again studying the ground. _Triage…? That… doesn't sound so good…_

"I watch ER just like the next guy…" Nick trailed off. "But… I don't really know what you mean…"

"Like… triage parts of your life…?" Greg asked.

Catherine simply nodded. "I'm good at self-management…" she quietly said, glancing around the fire at her friends. "And… I guess… to some extent, I pride myself on having the ability to prioritize…"

"I'm not sure that I like the word 'triage,' though," Sara spoke up, frowning. "That implies… crisis in your life…" she added, as she rested her head on Grissom's shoulder.

"I know…" Catherine replied, biting her lip.

Warrick cleared his throat, glancing up at Catherine. "Are you… are you saying that you have crises going on…? Right now, as we speak…?"

Catherine sighed, gazing into the fire. "No, not in the ER sense of the word 'crisis,' but… there's a lot going on in my life… Lindsey… work… Lindsey…"

"Is…Lindsey okay, Catherine…? Are…you okay…?" Grissom asked, his arm still wrapped around Sara's shoulders.

"Yes… and no…" Catherine mumbled.

"I don't…understand…" Greg frowned. "What does that mean…?"

"It means, Greg…" Catherine snapped at him. "That yes, she is okay… and that no, she isn't." Sighing, Catherine then added, "I'm… I'm sorry, Greg. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that…Lindsey is really giving me a run for my money, and… I'm completely exhausted…"

"Oh…?" Warrick asked, raising an eyebrow. "What's she doing, Cath…?" he hesitantly asked. He knew that his question was highly personal in nature, but… Catherine was his friend, and he was concerned about her.

"For the past couple of years," Catherine frowned, "she has been… difficult, to say the very least. You all know that. But over the past six months," she continued, "she has gotten… very out of control… she's… hanging around with the wrong group of kids, she's…doing things that she really shouldn't be doing, and she's just… getting into a lot of trouble…"

"Define…'trouble,'" Grissom asked, looking across the fire at her.

"She's smoking, she's out all hours of the night… she's skipping school…" Catherine quietly replied. "But… I'm managing to balance her, with work… this whole conversation was what I liked about myself, right…? Well, I like my ability to focus on Lindsey when I need to, and on work, when I need to do that, as well…"

Nick cleared his throat, as he stared at the fire. _You might be surviving, and you might be 'triaging,' Cath…_ he thought to himself. _But… it sounds as if you are having a heck of a hard time staying afloat…_

Warrick rubbed the back of his neck, glancing over at Catherine. "It's… good that you can prioritize, Catherine…" he cautiously told her. "But… we have to do something to help both you and Lindsey do okay…"

"…What…?" Catherine asked, staring at Warrick. "We're both doing just fine…" she stubbornly told him.

"Take it from someone who is _not _doing just fine, Catherine…" Sara whispered. "You need some help… from your friends…"

Catherine frowned, once again staring at the orange and red flames emanating from the fire. "I don't… I don't know what you can all do to help me, though…" she finally mumbled.

"Well, for starters," Nick spoke up, raising his gaze to meet hers. "We can be there to listen to you. I would imagine that you feel a little bit stressed out right now, and… we're your friends… we care… you can depend on us…"

'_Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow_,' Greg thought to himself, singing the lyrics of _Lean on Me _in his head. '_But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.' _"Yeah… lean on us, Catherine…" he finally said aloud. "That's what friends are for…" he added, flashing her a small smile.

"And as for Lindsey…" Grissom cleared his throat. "We can work with her… she still… respects me a little bit, I believe…" he trailed off. "Or at the very least, she still calls me 'Uncle Gil,' whenever I see her. Can I talk to her…? When we get home…?" he asked.

Catherine swallowed, slowly shaking her head yes.

"I can't promise that I will change anything, especially because it sounds as if this has been going on for quite some time, but… I can talk to her."

"We all can, Cath…" Nick told her. "We've known Lindsey ever since she was a little girl. Maybe we can take her out or something… do something fun… try to get her away from the bad influences…"

"You can… try," Catherine mumbled, once again biting her lip. "But… it won't be easy for any of you, I can promise you that… she's not the same little girl that you all once knew…"

"We know that it won't be easy," Greg assured her. "But…like Warrick said before, we don't quit on our friends... and like it or not, Catherine, you're a friend…"

"You bet you are…" Nick confirmed.

"We'll do what we can, Cath… promise…" Warrick assured her.

"But at the very least, Catherine," Grissom spoke up. "We need to look out for you, as well… make sure you talk to us…keep us informed… let us help…"

"I will…" Catherine finally smiled at her friends, making eye contact with each individual criminalist. "And thank you, guys…really…"

"You're welcome…" Sara smiled, glancing at the fire. And then laughing, she added, "Uh… Nick…?"

"What, Sara…?" Nick frowned.

"Your shish-kabob is on fire…"

"What…?" Nick asked, jumping up.

"It's been on fire for the past five minutes…" Greg grinned.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	17. Greg's Story: A Part of the Team!

**A/N: **Ahh! Fanfiction has been down for days! Upload, please! Please! But, thanks for still reading. **Sanderswife**… I _love _getting feedback on my writing, and I am glad that you are enjoying the story so far! **odeepblue**, as always, thanks! **Cherrydrops**… you had to make it a song I don't know, eh…? Alright, I'll see what I can do! It's going to be in the next chapter (which is already written, so keep an eye out!). Any more song requests? **The Lovely Desdemona**, BEEF! Ah! I couldn't remember the third meet! Now I'm hungry… thanks! Oh, and how do I write so fast? They are emotional chapters, and… I thrive on that kind of writing. They usually just flow… and of course, getting feedback from people just makes me happy, which makes me want to write more! **Lennexa**, thanks for your comment! I have to add humor… when I write these chapters, I put myself into the shoes of the characters, and it can be… sad! So I need to laugh at times! **Wraiths-angel,** don't worry about commenting on every chapter… school can be hard. I'm actually going back for my ph.d in the fall, and I'm not looking forward to homework again! **dark-girl-faith-sidle**, what, oh, what, will happen with the shish-kabobs? Hmm… I just don't know! **Kay** and **Disenchantment, **thank you so much for your comments on this fic! I love writing this story, and I'm glad that people are enjoying it! **Ally-617-luv-tv**, you spent the last hour a half reading, eh? Well thank you! The next chapter is written, and I will post it tomorrow. And **Nnyliram**, I'm glad you're enjoying this fic! There will be some pretty good GSR moments coming up, so… keep reading!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. Abbott and Costello also deserve some credit for this chapter!

**Title: **_Greg's Story: A Part of the Team!_

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**Around the Campfire**

"Why didn't you say anything to me sooner, Greg…?" Nick mumbled, as he reached toward the fire, carefully grabbing the end of his skewer, and quickly yanking the whole thing out of the flames.

"I was paying attention to Catherine!" Greg replied, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Oh, don't you even _think _about blaming this on me!" Catherine grinned.

"Would you like me to make you a new one, Nick?" Greg teasingly asked his friend.

"No, I'm good, man, thanks…" Nick sighed, staring down at his completely burnt shish-kabob.

Warrick just chuckled, carefully studying his own skewer. "Well… if this thing catches on fire, will someone please let me know…?" he asked.

"Uh-huh…" Sara smiled. "No problem…"

"If we see it on fire, we'll be sure let you know…and the moment that we first see it!" Grissom assured him. "But while we're waiting for the rest of the shish-kabobs to either burn or cook, let's get back to our discussion, shall we… ? So…who's up?"

"Now…?" Greg asked.

"Yes…" Grissom replied, looking over at him. "You're up…?"

"No, now…?"

"What, man…?" Warrick asked, rubbing the back of his head. "Who…? You?"

Greg shook his head, frowning. "Who would be first…" he told Warrick, grabbing another piece of burnt pork off of his skewer.

"…That's right, so who's up?" Nick mumbled, biting his lip.

"No, as I said, who would be first… now would be up…" Greg repeated, smiling.

"Now…?" Sara questioningly whispered to Grissom.

"Yes, but who?" Grissom shrugged, raising an eyebrow.

"Yup, Sara!" Greg grinned.

"What…?" Sara frowned.

"No, what would be second!"

"Who?" Catherine asked.

"Now!"

"Now, what?" Warrick asked, trying to hide his growing smile.

"Who would be first, what would be second! Now!" Greg announced.

"Who, what? Who's up?"

"No," Greg sighed. "Now is…"

"Now is…what…?" Catherine frowned, getting completely confused.

"Now is _not_ what… Now is up, and what is not…"

Warrick squinted, "Huh…? I don't understand! Certainly you know…"

"Right, but not certainly…" Greg shrugged. "Now…"

"Uh…What?" Warrick gave Greg a confused smile, staring across the fire at him.

"Nope, now!" Greg repeated, starting to laugh hysterically.

"What the heck is wrong with him…?" Catherine started to laugh, as if becoming infected with Greg's good mood.

"I don't know!" Warrick grinned, he himself starting to laugh.

"NO, IT'S NOW!" Greg yelled, as he couldn't stop laughing.

Sara started to chuckle, raising her gaze to meet Greg's. "Nice job…really…" she told him.

"Thanks, Sara!" Greg replied, smiling.

"Huh?" Warrick asked, once again squinting in confusion over at his younger colleague.

"What… is going on…?" Nick raised an eyebrow, eating another piece of burnt meat.

Sara glanced at Nick, the smile on her lips growing even wiswe. "He adapted Abbott and Costello's 'Who's on First' bit, I believe… if you recall, the first thing that Grissom asked us was 'Who's up…?' Well… Who was never up… he was on first…" she informed everyone.

"Yup, she's right! And in the skit," Greg pointed out, "It says something about 'the heavy hitter now…' So… I decided that Now was up… and just so you guys know," he added, raising an eyebrow, "What was on second, and I Don't Know was on third… Certainly? He was an outfielder…" he laughed.

Grissom chuckled, staring down at the fire. "So… you're up, then, Greg?" he finally asked.

"I actually already went!" Greg replied, smiling. "I like my humor… it helps me get through some very difficult and uncomfortable situations…"

Warrick ran a hand through his hair, grinning. "I like your humor, too, man…" he admitted. "Because although I tease you quite a bit, I… enjoy the fact that you can make me smile, whenever I need something to cheer me up…"

"I agree…" Catherine mused, staring at the fire for a moment. "Our jobs certainly aren't easy… we see people on the worst day of their lives, and…you help make things quite a bit more bearable, Greg…" she added, smiling over at him.

Sara sighed, her head still resting on Grissom's shoulder. "Actually… yeah… you've helped me get through some pretty difficult cases, also…" she told him. "But now that I'm thinking about it, Greg…I'm not so sure that you get all of the credit that you so rightfully deserve…you should know that I respect you quite a bit…"

"Well…" Greg looked down at the ground, biting his lip. "Now that you mention it, Sara, sometimes… I feel like none of you really, truly respect me… at times, you all tend to… treat me like the kid brother that no one wants around…"

"But Greg, sometimes you _act _like a kid!" Nick pointed out, before frowning, as Grissom flashed him a warning look.

"I know that…" Greg quietly mumbled. "But… I have a serious side to me, too… I know that I… talk about video games a lot, and electronics, and just… about having fun in general, but… I also take my job very seriously, and… I'm not sure that you all realize that…"

"I know that you take your job extremely seriously, Greg…" Grissom spoke up, as he held Sara in his arms, his fingers gently brushing against her side. "And I can honestly tell you that if I didn't believe that, you… would not have a job with the Las Vegas Crime Lab…"

Greg swallowed, before looking up at Grissom, and returning his gaze to the ground in between his feet. "That's…good to know…" he sighed. "So… you all think that I am… a part of this team…?" he quietly asked the group.

"Greg…" Nick hesitated. "I apologize if… you've felt excluded at times. You _are _a part of this team, I promise you that…" he said. "I might tease you from time to time, but… I still have all of the respect in the world for you!"

"…Really…?" Greg asked.

Nick simply nodded.

"Yeah, man," Warrick agreed. "I trust that you'll have my back, if… anything ever happens to me…you might laugh and joke around quite a bit, but when it comes right down to it, you're brilliant at what you do…and I respect you for that…"

Catherine nodded her head, before speaking up. "Greg… things would not be the same without you around… seriously…"

"In fact," Sara hesitated, raising an eyebrow. "I consider you to be one of my best friends…" she flashed him a small smile.

"Well… thank you, Sara…" Greg replied, biting his lip. "I consider you to be a good friend, too… actually, I consider all of you to be my friends…" he admitted.

"Same here, man…" Warrick assured him.

"Definitely…" Nick added.

"Without a doubt…" Catherine confirmed.

"I do, too…" Grissom quietly said.

"Well… thank you then, guys…" Greg replied, smiling.

"But before we move on," Grissom spoke up. "I have one more thing to say to you, Greg… You're pretty good at finding the balance between humor and seriousness, so don't worry about things quite as much…don't change who you are, because you don't believe that you fit in with us," he added. "You are an integral part of this team… don't ever forget that…"

"Okay…" Greg replied, finally grinning. "I won't…"

"Hey, Sara…?" Warrick then quietly asked, trying not to laugh. "Your shish-kabob is on fire…" he pointed out.

Sara glanced down at the fire, smiling. "Actually… that's yours, Warrick…" she trailed off. "Mine is over here…"

"Oh, _hell_ no!" Warrick frowned.

"So… anyone up for some pizza…?" Greg interrupted, laughing.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	18. Interlude: Oops!

**A/N: **Before I thank people, let me just say that this is not one of my typical "The Retreat" chapters. Most of it is a flashback, and… I hope that you still enjoy it! Now, **GSRbaby**, thank you for your review! So you've burned shish-kabobs before, eh? I hate when I accidentally forget about something that has been cooking! **Csialltheway**, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter! **odeepblue**, glad you enjoyed the chapter (well, the ending, anyhow!). A part of me hates the "Who's on First" routine, so I can understand! It just cracked me up, though, and I _had _to use it! **Cherrydrops, **here's your song! **wraiths-angel**, hope you enjoy this chapter! **sanderswife, **thank you for the compliment. It makes me happy to know that people are enjoying this!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Interlude: Oops!_

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

After the remaining shish-kabobs were rescued and consumed for dinner, Nick glanced around the fire, yawning. "I'm… tired…" he mumbled to the team, staring into the fire.

"Well… it's late…" Grissom informed him. "So… I can understand that. Would you guys like to put the rest of our talk on hold until tomorrow morning at breakfast…? And then do our team building activity in the afternoon…?" he asked.

"Boy, would I ever…" Warrick sighed. "I'm kinda beat, myself…"

Catherine just blinked, as a small yawn escaped through her lips.

Grissom simply nodded. "Okay, then," he told the group, removing his arm from around Sara's shoulders, and standing up. "Tomorrow is going to be another… busy and draining day, so make sure that you get some rest…"

"What are we going to be doing, besides talking, Grissom?" Greg asked, as he stood up and stretched. "More rappelling?"

"No…" Grissom told him with a grin. "Something better…"

Nick frowned. "Something… better than rappelling…? 'Better' how…?" he cautiously asked.

"Yeah…" Warrick chimed in. "Are we talking 'better' in the sense that it is more challenging than rappelling…? Or 'better' in the sense that it is more fun…?"

"Both!" Grissom enthusiastically replied.

Catherine groaned. "Are we… skydiving into the water…?" she wanted to know.

Grissom shook his head no, raising an eyebrow.

"Are we… going horseback riding…?" Sara guessed.

Grissom again shook his head no.

"Are we… playing a rousing game of beach volleyball, with the young ladies from the campfire next door…?" Greg questioned his supervisor, trying to hold back his grin.

Grissom again shook his head no, chuckling. "We're going to do a ropes course…" he explained, as he gathered some of the garbage from around the fire, tossing it into the garbage can.

"What… uh… what does that entail…?" Sara quietly asked, remembering her experience from last year's rappelling activity. She was afraid of heights, and… everyone knew it. That, coupled with the memory of getting stuck on the mountain during last year's "team-building" activity, made her feel very uncomfortable about doing anything that might involve mountains, ropes, or climbing.

Grissom smiled. "We will be completing a ropes course which incorporates both the ground and the trees, where we will all have to help each other get to the end of the activity…"

"You didn't say… in the trees, right…?" Catherine frowned. "Because… I just _know_ that you didn't…"

"I… believe that I did…" Grissom slowly replied, raising his eyebrow. "It'll be fun, I promise… and we'll all work together as a team, too… no one gets left behind…"

"Right…" Nick mumbled, a bit uncertainly. "No one gets left behind…" he repeated.

"Well…if I'll be climbing trees tomorrow," Warrick sighed, "I need to get some rest…" he added, as he walked off to his tent.

"Yeah… me, too…" Nick added. "Goodnight, everyone!" he smiled, as he followed Warrick into the tent.

"I have to admit, Grissom… I'm a little bit nervous about this…" Catherine muttered, as she picked up her garbage, and threw it out.

"It'll be fine, Catherine, I promise you…" Grissom reassured her.

"I know…" she sighed, ducking into her and Sara's tent.

"Well… I suppose that I should get to sleep, too…" Greg mumbled. _If I move quickly enough, maybe I can fall asleep before the snoring begins…_ he sighed.

Sara, still on her log, stared into the fire.

"Are you okay, Sara…?" Grissom quietly asked, sitting back down beside her again.

"I… don't like heights very much…" she whispered, looking up at him for a split second, before returning her gaze to the fire.

"I know that you don't…" Grissom replied, tightly wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "But… we're all going to be there for you… for each other," he amended.

"Okay…" Sara sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. Then after a moment, she bit her lip. "Do you remember our first date…?" she quietly asked him, holding back a chuckle.

"I sure do…" he smiled, gently brushing his fingers against her arm.

"I… didn't think that you'd call me, actually…" she admitted.

"Really…?" Grissom asked, stunned. "I told that you that I would…" he trailed off.

"I know, but… I figured that you just got all caught up in the emotions of the retreat, and that you weren't really serious about going out to lunch or dinner with me…"

"Well… I almost _didn't_ call you, as a matter of fact…" Grissom frowned, leaning his head against hers.

"What…? Why…?" Sara asked, feeling herself relax in his warm and comforting embrace.

"I… was nervous…" he admitted.

_I was, too, _Sara thought with a smile. "Oh… well, your nerves never really went away, I don't think…" she grinned.

"What…? What do you mean…? I wasn't nervous during dinner…"

"Oh, really…?" Sara laughed. "You could have fooled me…"

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about, Sara Sidle…" Grissom laughed, as he gently held her in his arms.

"Uh-huh…" she trailed off, closing her eyes, and thinking about that life-altering first date.

**---------------**

**The Date, one year prior**

It was a Saturday afternoon, and Grissom anxiously stared at his phone. _I… I said that I'd call her_, he thought to himself, frowning. _But… what if she says no? She wouldn't, though, would she? After the countless times that she's asked me out…? But, I suppose there's always that chance that she might have something else to do… right? _he asked himself, as he poised his hand over the phone. _Just do it, Grissom… call. You can do it. Just pick up the phone, and dial the seven numbers that will connect you to Sara…_

In her own home, Sara sighed, staring at the wall in front of her. _Why… Why hasn't he called me yet…?_Sara thought to herself. _Did he… change his mind…? He must have…_she sighed, glancing down at her cell phone. _Well… I should have known… why would he want to go out with me…? Just because he said that he did, doesn't necessarily mean that he actually wants to…_

Grissom stood up, letting out a very nervous chuckle. _Okay… I'm going to do it… really, I am…_ he frowned, as he picked up his cell phone, once again staring at it. _Here…we… go…_ he swallowed, dialing her phone number, and waiting for her to answer. For a moment, Grissom fought the urge to immediately hang up.

_Damn it, Grissom! Just call!_Sara wanted to scream, almost ready to call him herself. And then her cell phone started to trill. Cautiously picking it up, she closed her eyes, almost afraid to glance at the caller ID. _What if it's him…? _she nervously thought to herself. _Wait a minute, what if it's NOT him…? _she immediately added. Taking a deep breath, Sara stared down at the display screen, her eyes widening at what she saw: "GRISSOM, GILBERT." _It's him! It's really him! Breathe, Sara. You have to breathe _she told herself, before lifting the phone to her ear, and shakily answering it. "Hi…"

"Hi, Sara…" Grissom greeted her. "It's… me," he added. _Nice job… way to show your intelligence! Have you ever heard of caller ID? Of COURSE she knows that it's you!_

"Hi…" Sara repeated, letting a small smile form on her lips.

"So… how are you doing…? How's… the weather?" '_How's the weather?' Are you kidding me? Way to be creative!_

Sara laughed. "I'm doing well, and… the weather is a bit cloudy, actually…" she trailed off. "Can I… help you with something…?" '_Can I help you with something?' Excellent comeback, Sara!_

"Well… I was wondering if, well, you know…" Grissom hesitated.

"Yes…?"

"If you, you know, wanted to…" he tried again.

_Just say it, Grissom. You can do it…_ Sara thought to herself, biting her lip.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go grab some lunch…? I know a small place off of the Strip… it's rather quiet…"

Sara swallowed, trying to take a deep breath. "Okay…" she quietly told him.

"Really…?"

"Uh-huh… what time…? And… are you picking me up? Or…?" she trailed off.

"Or… what?" Grissom asked. _Oh! Idiot! Of course you're picking her up! _"Oh!" he said, trying to calm his nerves. "Right… I'll pick you up… is an hour from now okay…?" he asked.

"Sure," Sara shrugged. "I'll be ready…"

"Okay… bye…" Grissom mumbled, hanging up the phone, and letting out a loud sigh. "Well, that went… well… kind of…"

Sara hung up, softly laughing. "I think he's more nervous than I am…" she chuckled. "Actually… maybe not…" she frowned.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

In Grissom's arms, Sara started to laugh aloud.

"What's… so funny?" he asked her, pulling back from her for a moment, so that he could better study her face.

"I was just thinking about how nervous you were!" she grinned, marveling at the fact that he no longer seemed all that nervous around her... nor did she, around him. Now, everything seemed so natural… so… comfortable. Their words were no longer strained, and they could carry on a conversation with one another, without their nerves taking over. The tone of their relationship had definitely changed… for the better.

"I was _not _nervous!" he repeated, once again pulling her close.

---------------

**The Date, one year prior**

Approximately twenty-three minutes later, Sara stood at the window of her apartment, glancing down at the parking lot below. "It's not too early to be waiting for him, right…?" she mumbled to herself, smiling from ear-to-ear. "I mean… he could be here at any moment, even though he said an hour… right…?"

At his apartment, Grissom rummaged through his closet, trying to find something appropriate to wear. "Comfortable… and yet my own style…" he mused, eventually pulling out a button-down shirt, and a nice pair of pants. "Well… I'm comfortable…" he quietly mumbled, studying his chosen outfit. "And hopefully she'll like this…" he added, as he grabbed his wallet and keys, and headed toward the door. Staring at the clock in the hallway, he frowned, when he noticed the time. "It's only been… nineteen minutes…" he sighed. "It's… too early to go pick her up…" he added, although moments later, he started to smile. Dashing to the door, he grinned, as he briskly walked out to his car, and got in. "Traffic… you never know what kind of traffic there will be on the way to her place…" he rationed. "I should just leave now… to be safe, of course! I'd hate to make her wait for me…"

Two minutes later, Sara's smile brightened even more, as she saw Grissom's car pull into the parking lot. Walking to her door, and pushing it open, she closed and locked it behind her, before nearly flying out to the parking lot. "Hi!" she cheerfully greeted him, as she saw him get out of his car.

"Uh… hi…" Grissom shyly replied. "I'm… sorry that I'm so early, but… I thought that there might be traffic…" he explained, as he waited for her to get closer to the car. _Do I… open the car door for her…? _he then asked himself. _It's a first date… and I don't know what to do! _he cringed, as his eyebrows furrowed.

Sara looked over at Grissom, confused. _Why is he frowning…? Do I have a stain on my shirt…? _she asked herself, subtly looking down, and carefully studying her clothing. _No… no stain… it must be something else…_ she trailed off, as she neared his car, and immediately got inside. "So… are you… ready…?" she nervously asked Grissom.

"Of course… right…" he replied, getting in, and putting the car into gear. "I think you'll like this place, Sara… it's a small diner, out of the way…" _and away from prying eyes, too. We can just… talk there…_

"That sounds wonderful to me," Sara flashed him a small smile. "And it will give us the chance to talk, without… fear of… well… people staring at us…" she trailed off. _So in other words, you're embarrassed to be seen with him…? Smooth… real smooth._

"I was just thinking the same thing!" Grissom grinned, starting to relax. "Not that I don't want to be seen with you," he quickly clarified. "But… we won't have to worry about anyone interrupting us or our conversation…"

Sara just returned his smile, attempting to relax. Staring out the window, she tried to come up with something to say… to end the awkwardness of silence. "So… work was good this week…" she eventually commented.

"It was," Grissom agreed. "But… can we… not talk about work…?"

"Uh… okay…" Sara mumbled, staring at the ground, and anxiously drumming her fingers on her knee. _But I don't know what else to talk about! _After a moment, though, a small smile appeared on her lips. "Did you get a chance to see the butterfly exhibit?" she suddenly asked him, turning her head to glance at him.

Grissom grinned. "I did… the Monarchs were beautiful… and very peaceful…"

"They sure were," Sara replied, thankful for the fact that they had finally reached the diner. Getting out, she waited for Grissom to come around the car, before heading into the establishment. "And very colorful, too…" she added, as they walked inside.

"Good afternoon!" Tammy, the hostess, greeted them, grabbing two menus from the tray, and leading them further into the diner.

"Good afternoon, Tammy," Grissom replied, as he took a seat in the booth, glancing over at Sara. When the waitress was gone, he breathed a sigh of relief. "So…" he trailed off.

"Hmm…?" Sara asked, studying the menu.

"…What do you think you're going to have…?"

"A tuna melt…" Sara immediately replied. _Although… that might make my breath smell. But… does it really matter if my breath smells…?It's not like I'm going to be close enough to him for him to smell my breath… I don't think…_ she thought to herself, blushing.

"That sounds…good…" Grissom told her, curiously taking note of her blush. "I… think that I'll have the same thing…"

_Good… then he won't notice the smell of my breath… just in case! _Sara though to herself, grinning. "Okay…" she simply said, setting her menu down.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

With her head resting on Grissom's shoulder, Sara gave a contented sigh.

"Yes…?" he smiled, gently brushing his fingers against her arm.

"I'm happy!" Sara smiled.

"Well, I'm glad…" Grissom told her. "I am, too…"

All of a sudden, a loud noise came from Grissom's tent.

"What… what's going on…?" Sara asked, staring toward the middle tent.

"I don't know," Grissom shrugged, quizzically glancing at the same tent.

---------------

**Nick and Warrick's Tent**

"Did you say something, man?" Nick asked Warrick with a yawn, turning to look at him.

"No… I thought you did…" he trailed off, glancing at Nick.

"Uh… no…" Nick mumbled. "It must have been someone else…" he frowned, nearly jumping, as he heard singing coming from the tent next door.

"Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give them a twist a flick of the wrist. That's what the showman said…" Greg loudly sang.

"What's, uh… what's he doing…?" Nick whispered to Warrick.

"Uh… singing…?"

"But… about coconuts…?" he laughed, covering his head with his pillow.

"Yo, Greg!" Warrick shouted. "Go to bed, man!" he laughed.

---------------

**Grissom and Greg's Tent**

Greg quietly slept, a smile on his face, as he dreamt about the _Lion King_. "Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, Some as big as your head. Give them a twist a flick of the wrist. That's what the showman said…" he started to sing, really getting into the music.

"Yo, Greg!" he then heard. "Go to bed, man!" Warrick told him.

"Huh…?" Greg asked, sitting up, and trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. "What's going on…?" he asked, frowning, before laying back down. "Can't a guy get some sleep around here…?" he grumbled, before once again closing his eyes.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

"Yo, Greg!" Warrick shouted. "Go to bed, man!" he added.

Sara laughed, looking up at Grissom.

"Huh…?" she then heard Greg. "What's… going on…? Can't a guy get some sleep around here…?" he grumbled.

Sara just laughed harder. "Boys will be boys…" she shrugged.

Smiling, Grissom glanced down at her. "Do you remember the mess that you made at lunch that day…? One year ago…?"

"No, because I didn't make a mess!" Sara protested. "Try again!"

"According to my memory, you sure did!" Grissom laughed.

---------------

**The Date, one year prior**

When their food arrived fifteen minutes later, Grissom and Sara were still discussing the butterfly exhibit. They both agreed that the butterflies were gorgeous, and that they had to take a trip to see them... together. Just the two of them.

Picking up her tuna melt, Sara gingerly took a bite. "Not bad…" she commented, looking up, and glancing over at Grissom.

"No… it's definitely not bad…" he agreed, taking a bite of his own tuna melt. "I'm glad that you wanted to come here with me…" he added, as a piece of tuna fish fell out of his bread, landing on his shirt collar. Sara started to smile, holding back a laugh. "What…?" he asked, frowning. "What's wrong…?"

One of Sara's eyebrows rose, as she pointed to her own neck. "You, uh… you dropped a piece of tuna fish on yourself…" she informed him.

"Oh?" Grissom asked. "Really…?"

"Uh-huh," Sara grinned, grabbing an extra napkin, and reaching across the table to hand it to him.

"Thank you…" Grissom bit his lip. _Well, this is certainly embarrassing… _he thought to himself, reaching for the napkin.

"No problem," Sara smiled back, as she leaned a little bit closer to him… accidentally knocking her water glass over, which landed on Grissom's fork, which catapulted a ketchup-drenched French fry directly at her face, hitting her square between the eyes. "Uh…oops…" she muttered, as she immediately reached for the entire container of napkins, attempting to curtail the flow of water off of the table. "This is so…embarrassing…" she whispered to Grissom, as she stared down at her now sopping wet pants.

Grissom grinned at her, grabbing a handful of napkins from the napkin dispenser. "Are you, uh… okay…?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, as he placed the napkins on the table, trying to clean up a little bit of the mess.

"It's cold!" Sara simply laughed.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

"Okay… so… maybe I did make a mess…" Sara laughed.

"Yes, you did," Grissom agreed. "But… it was kind of cute… _you _were kind of cute... and I had fun…"

Sara smiled, looking up at him. "Which is why we went out the very next weekend…" she replied.

"Exactly… to the butterfly exhibit," Grissom reminisced.

"Where there was no food…" Sara added with a smile, stretching, and starting to stand up. "I think I'm going to get some sleep, though…" she told Grissom.

"That's probably a good idea…" Grissom admitted, standing up with her. "It's going to be a long day… and don't worry about the heights, okay…?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist again, and pulling her close.

"Okay, I'll try not to…"

"We won't let you fall… I won't let you fall…" he reminded her. "I promise…"

"I know that," Sara smiled, as she leaned up, and gently kissed Grissom's lips. "I trust you… goodnight…" she trailed off, pulling out of his embrace, and heading toward her tent.

"Goodnight…" Grissom replied. "See you in the morning…"

Sara nodded, as she crawled into her tent.

Moments later, Grissom ducked into his own tent.

---------------

**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

"Hi, Sara…" Catherine greeted her friend and colleague.

"Uh… hi, Catherine…" Sara replied with a slight smile.

"So… did you have a good…evening…?" she grinned.

"Uh… yup!" Sara smiled. "Grissom and I were talking about our first date…"

Catherine laughed. "The date where you spilled water all over yourself, and the French fry hit you in the face?" she grinned.

"Yeah… that's the one!" Sara laughed.

"Oh… well, that's a great story…" she commented, as she closed her eyes.

"Yeah… it's a good one…" Sara agreed, as she made herself comfortable in her sleeping bag. Five minutes later, after thinking that Catherine was asleep, Sara gave another contented sigh. "And…I think… that I… love him…" she whispered to herself, finally closing her eyes.

Catherine, not yet fully asleep, just grinned. _Well…good for you, Sara… good for both of you, actually. You both deserve to be happy! _she thought to herself, as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

---------------

**Grissom and Greg's Tent**

"Well, hello there, Grissom!" Greg chuckled, as his supervisor walked into the tent.

"Hi, Greg…" Grissom trailed off.

"So… how's Sara doing…?" he asked, winking at Grissom, and trying to hide a smile.

"She's fine, Greg… goodnight…" Grissom simply replied, crawling into his sleeping bag, and closing his eyes.

"Did you, uh… have a good talk…?" Greg pressed on.

"Goodnight, Greg!" Grissom repeated.

"Uh… goodnight…" Greg sighed. _Damn! I wanted the details_, he thought to himself.

**---------------**

TO BE CONTINUED 


	19. Nick's Story: The Six Musketeers

**A/N: Cherrydrops**, you're welcome! And thanks for reading! **odeepblue**, glad you enjoyed it! I kind of went "aww" in a few places when I was reading it, so I'm glad that people enjoyed it! **wraiths-angel**, the guys are definitely not getting out of their turn! Thanks for reading! And last, but certainly not least, I had to laugh when I read your comment, **The Lovely Desdemona**. The "d" key does not always work on my work-laptop, and it _really _ticks me off! Who doesn't use the letter "d?" Then again, who doesn't use the spacebar! Thanks for getting past your keyboard issues, and leaving a review! It made me smile!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Nick's Story: The Six Musketeers_

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**Grissom and Greg's Tent**

Early the next morning, Greg rolled over, and tentatively cracked an eye open. _Did I…actually sleep through the entire night?_ he asked himself, slightly smiling. _Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! _he grinned, stretching, and sliding out of his sleeping bag. _Either Grissom didn't snore once, or… I'm getting better at tuning him out!_

Quietly unzipping the flap of the tent, Greg crawled outside, and froze, when he saw Sara already sitting around the long-dead campfire, reading a book.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

"Morning, Greg," Sara looked up, smiling at him. "How'd you sleep…?" she asked him.

"Not bad, actually," Greg frowned, running a hand through his dirty hair, and sitting down on the log across from where Sara was sitting. "How about you?"

"I slept like a baby," Sara admitted. "No snoring issues?"

"Surprisingly, no!" Greg cheerfully told Sara, quietly enough, however, so as not to wake up the rest of the team.

"Well, that's good…" she replied, setting her book down on her lap, and glancing over at him.

Whatcha reading?" Greg nodded toward the book, yawning.

"Oh… uh… this…?" Sara asked, slightly blushing.

But now Greg's curiosity was piqued. "Yeah… that! What is it…?" he repeated his earlier question, grinning across the fire pit at Sara. _Action? Adventure? Drama? Romance…?_ he inwardly asked himself, rolling the "r" in romance in a seductive manner.

"You'll laugh…" Sara mumbled.

"No, I won't!" Greg assured her.

"I'm reading…" Sara coughed. "I'm reading… _Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase_..." she trailed off.

Greg raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh at his colleague. "Aren't those books for… little kids…?"

"What's your point, Greg?" Sara immediately snapped, trying to hide the book behind her back.

"You're… in your thirties…" he pointed out.

"But they're a good read, Greg! They're short, they're fast… Nancy is an intelligent, strong, character…"

Greg once again raised his eyebrow. "Does… Grissom know about your… strange reading habits…?"

"Grissom knows everything about me," Sara told him, smiling.

"Oh… like… what…?" Greg smirked. _If I can't get the details from Grissom, well… perhaps I can get them out of Sara!_

"Nice try, Greg!" Sara rolled her eyes at him.

Greg sighed. _It was worth a shot_. "Hey, Sara?" he then asked. "Would you like to help me make everyone some breakfast…?"

"Sure," Sara replied. "What were you thinking about making?"

"Chocolate-chip pancakes?" Greg asked.

"Do we… have chocolate-chips…? And pancake batter…?"

"Yup, we do!" Greg replied. "I wasn't sure if Grissom would let us have pancakes, so… I smuggled the supplies in!"

Sara laughed. "Okay, grab the stuff, and we'll get started…"

---------------

**Nick and Warrick's Tent, thirty minutes later**

"Hey, man…" Nick yawned, stretching in his sleeping bag. "Do you smell anything…?" he asked his colleague.

Warrick rubbed his neck, frowning. "Something good? Or bad?"

"Good!" Nick grinned. "I think I smell some chocolate-chip pancakes," he mumbled. "But… I doubt its coming from our campsite."

"What? Why not?" Warrick asked, stretching, and sitting up in his sleeping bag. "It could be…" he shrugged, crawling toward the door, and poking his head outside, with his body still half inside of his sleeping bag.

"So? What's the verdict, man?" Nick asked, scratching his head.

"Pancakes!" he grinned, hurriedly unzipping first his sleeping bag, and then the tent flap, and quickly stepping outside into the cool, damp morning.

"Really? Who made pancakes?" Nick asked, immediately following him outside.

---------------

**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

Catherine cracked an eye open, glancing over to the place where Sara had been sleeping. "Hmm…?" she asked, frowning, as she unzipped her sleeping bag. "Where'd you go…?" she muttered, crawling outside.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

"Morning, Catherine!" Sara cheerfully greeted her friend and colleague.

"Morning…" Catherine mumbled, still half asleep. "What's going on here…?"

"Greg wanted to make everyone something special for breakfast," Sara shrugged, opening up the syrup that he had pulled out of his bag. "So… I helped him make some!"

"Really…?" Catherine asked, glancing first at Greg, and then at Sara, and then back at Greg again. "Are those… chocolate chips that I smell…?" she whispered, a small smile forming on her lips.

"You bet!" he immediately replied, as he flipped another pancake over. "Does someone want to get Grissom up? That man is sleeping like a lump on a log…"

"On it," Warrick replied, strolling over to Grissom's tent. "Yo! Up and at 'em!" he loudly yelled, chuckling to himself.

"Huh…?" came Grissom's startled voice. "What's going on? What?"

Catherine just laughed, walking over to Warrick. "You're the only one still asleep, Grissom…" she informed him. "And Greg and Sara made us some breakfast. Let's go!"

"I'll be out in a minute…" he mumbled, trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

---------------

**Around the Campfire, thirty minutes later**

"That was delicious, man," Nick smiled at Greg, slapping him on the back in order to show his appreciation.

"Definitely one of the best breakfasts that I've had in awhile…" Warrick mused. "And after last night's shish-kabob fiasco, well… the pancakes just really hit the spot."

"I'm not actually used to having anyone cook for me," Catherine told the group. "So… thank you!" she added, delicately wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"This was definitely thoughtful of you two," Grissom told them, raising an eyebrow. "And this was a great way to start off the morning."

"Well, I'm glad that everyone liked the pancakes…" Greg smiled. "It's a favorite family recipe…"

Sara just grinned.

"So… are we ready to continue our discussion from last night…?"

"Grissom…" Nick frowned, biting his lip. "I really don't want to share…"

"But why, Nick?" Greg asked. "We're not going to judge you in any way…"

"I know, man," he sighed. "But… what I like about myself is kind of… silly…" he trailed off.

"I'm sure that it's not silly, Nicky," Catherine immediately told him, taking a sip of her coffee. In all honesty, Greg and Sara had thought about everything for this morning.

"Well… it is…" he hesitated, uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck.

"I could use a good laugh…" Greg announced, trying to hold back a grin. "But just kidding… seriously…" he added. "We're here to help…"

"Greg…" Grissom warned him, glaring at him from across the fire pit.

"I know…" Greg sighed. "I'm just saying…" he trailed off.

Sara sighed, leaning back on her log. "Honestly, Nick… no one is going to make a negative comment about whatever you have to say. I mean… you don't _have _to tell us, but… we're not going to laugh at you…" _Except for perhaps Greg_, she thought to herself, staring at the younger CSI… just in case.

Nick bit his lip again, closing his eyes. "I like my sensitivity!" he blurted out.

"Ex…cuse me…?" Warrick asked, a little bit confused. "You said that kind of fast, and… I… didn't quite catch it."

Taking a deep breath, Nick sighed in frustration. "I like my sensitivity…" he slowly repeated his words. "I like how I can connect with the victims, and how I can… reach them, so to speak…"

Sara frowned. "I… don't understand, Nick… what's so bad about that…?"

"Yeah, Nicky… being able to connect with those whom we are trying to help can be a good thing…" Catherine pointed out.

Staring at the ground, Nick sighed. "Because sometimes I connect with them a little bit too much…" he mumbled, kicking a small pebble away from him with his shoe.

"What… do you mean, Nick?" Grissom gently probed, raising an eyebrow.

"You mean… you get attached to them, Nick?" Warrick cautiously asked.

"Not… exactly…" Nick swallowed, his face getting redder by the moment in embarrassment.

"So… what, then?" Greg asked, glancing across the fire pit at Nick.

"Sometimes the victims make me cry!" he once again blurted out, his face flushing.

Greg tried his hardest, he really did, but he let a small chuckle escape through his lips.

"Stop laughing at me!" Nick yelled, half in embarrassment, and half in anger.

"Nick… I'm really sorry…" Greg frowned, staring down at the ground. "I didn't mean to… I really didn't. But with the way that you were talking, that isn't exactly what I expected you to say. There's nothing wrong with crying…" he trailed off. "I promise you…" he added, inwardly kicking himself for being such a jerk. _I'll have to find a way to apologize to him later on…_ he thought to himself. _Because I am such an ass sometimes… God, I can be worse than Grissom! _he added, feeling absolutely horrible about his comment.

"Yes, there is…" Nick simply replied.

"No, actually, there isn't…" Catherine agreed with Greg. "Nick," she sighed, "Our jobs are difficult. You know it, I know it, and these guys all know it," she nodded toward her colleagues. "And sometimes… we just need that emotional release… so that we don't crack…"

"I know all about cracking," Sara quietly informed Nick. "I really do…" she added, marveling at the fact that this year, she was willingly and unhesitatingly sharing so much of herself with the team. "For almost my entire life," she whispered, "I refused to cry… I refused to talk, I refused to lean on my friends, and I cracked. Repeatedly. Over and over again."

Grissom raised an eyebrow, listening to Sara speak.

"… And…?" Nick questioned, slowly raising his gaze to meet Sara's.

"And… that's just it, Nick…" she quietly told him. "I started to cry… I started to talk, I started to lean on my friends, and I stopped cracking. Well… I stopped cracking quite as much," she amended. "I still have my break-downs, but…" she shrugged.

"What I think Sara is trying to say, Nick," Warrick hesitated. "Is that you don't have to be embarrassed about caring about the victims… or about anyone, for that matter. Forget what the media says," he continued. "Men can cry. Hell, even I cry…" he added.

"You… do…?" Greg asked. _Interesting..._

"Yes, Greg," Warrick rolled his eyes. "I do…"

"Well… in that case, so do I…" Greg simply announced to the group. "I've just never… admitted it," he frowned.

Catherine raised an eyebrow, staring at Nick, Warrick, and Greg. "It's okay to show your emotions," she confirmed. "In fact, I would be a little bit concerned if you didn't…"

_But… I don't really show my emotions_, Grissom thought to himself. _Do I…? _he wanted to ask Sara what her opinion on the subject was, although unfortunately, she was busy paying attention to Nick.

"Well…" Nick sighed, his frustration started to ebb away. "Okay, I guess… I just thought that… you know… crying made me weak, and… a bit unusual…"

"No," Catherine repeated. "It makes you normal. It makes you human…"

Grissom cleared his throat, glancing up at Nick. "But… crying aside, did you hear what else Sara had to say…?" he quietly asked the younger man.

"Uh… no…" Nick mumbled.

"She said that she talks to her friends, and that leans on them for support…" he pointed out.

Warrick nodded his agreement. "It's okay to cry, man, and it's okay to share your feelings. You have my phone number. Give me a call at any time, day or night… we'll shoot some hoops, check out a movie, or just grab some food…" he told Nick, flashing him a small smile.

"And if you want some help getting the ladies," Greg added, "You know who to come to…" he grinned.

Nick bit back a laugh. _Yeah. Grissom, apparently! _"Thanks, Greggo… I appreciate the offer."

Catherine just rolled her eyes at Greg. Turning back to Nick, she smiled. "But like Warrick said, Nicky, my door is always open to you… always."

"Mine, too," Sara added, flashing him her own smile.

Nick started laughing, staring down at the coals of the fire.

"What's so funny…?" Greg immediately asked.

"Huh…?" Warrick added.

"Share!" Catherine ordered him. "You have to!"

Sara just quizzically stared at him, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Nick?" Grissom questioned him, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just kind of… funny…" he mused. "I'm talking about crying, and for the past ten minutes or so, the five of you have been telling me that we're all friends, and that we're there for one another… it just…" he grinned. "It just made me think of the Three Musketeers…" he laughed again, the tears starting to stream down his cheeks from the force of his laughter. "You know, all for one?"

"And one for all!" Warrick, Greg, Catherine, Sara, and yes, even Grissom, immediately finished his sentence for him.

This just made everyone laugh even harder, until only the sounds of laughter could be heard throughout their campsite.

**---------------**

TO BE CONTINUED 


	20. Warrick's Story: You've Got a Friend

**A/N: **Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope this chapter is as well-received as the previous ones! **anneruhland**, thanks for checking out my story, and I hope you like this chapter! **odeepblue**, thanks for still reading! **The Lovely Desdemona**, I did _not _know that about Latin! Interesting! That must have taken a lot of time to decipher... hmm… too much thinking involved! And thanks for your comment! **wraiths-angel**, I can't wait for the team-building activity! I think it might involve someone getting stuck in the spider web part of the course. Hehe. And **Cherrydrops**, I _love _the Musketeers! Thanks for reading! Oh, and **catnip**? Keep reading, or I'll keep calling you!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The first song is "That's What Friends Are For," by Elton John (I think!), and the second song is Carole King's "You've Got a Friend."

**Title: **_Warrick's Story: You've Got a Friend_

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

"So now it's my turn!" Warrick sarcastically enthused. "I can hardly wait to share... really…"

Greg just grinned, raising an eyebrow. "On your mark, get set, go!"

Catherine rolled her eyes at Greg, sighing.

Sara, meanwhile, took a moment to glance over at Grissom, smiling. "It'll be your turn next…" she mouthed to him.

"Fantastic…" he mouthed back, slightly frowning. _Because… I really don't want to go_, he thought to himself.

"Okay, Rick…" Nick bit his lip. "We're all listening… what's up…? What do you like the most about yourself…?"

"I like my hair…" he grinned. "I definitely, definitely, like my hair!"

"I do, too, actually," Catherine chuckled, raising her gaze to meet his. "But… somehow I highly doubt that Grissom will accept that as an answer…" she added.

"Yeah… I know…" Warrick sighed. Turning to Grissom, he frowned. "Didn't you say that the first question was an easy one…?" he asked.

Grissom shrugged. "Well… it's easier than it could have been…" he told Warrick, raising an eyebrow and flashing him a small smile.

"True…" Warrick mumbled. "Okay… so what do I like the most about myself…really?"

Sara encouragingly nodded at him, as did Catherine. Greg busied himself with staring at the empty fire pit, while Nick glanced through the trees, as if studying… anything other than Warrick. Greg and Nick _were_ paying attention to him, however; they just wanted to give him some personal space in order to collect his thoughts.

"I like my… uh…" Warrick uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck. "I like… hmm…" he swallowed, fidgeting on his log. "Well… I'd have to say that I like my ability to be there for my friends, I guess… yeah, that's it. My ability to be there for my friends! Done!" he announced to the group. _Shit! Maybe that's what you'd LIKE to like the best about yourself, but unfortunately, you make a crummy friend._

"Then… why do you look so anxious, Rick…? That's a great thing to like about yourself…" Nick quietly commented.

"Because I don't like sharing my feelings!" he immediately snapped back.

"Oh…" Nick mumbled, once again staring down at the ground.

"But… isn't being there for your friends a good quality…?" Sara whispered. "I mean… I would think that it is…" she trailed off.

_Yeah… when you're actually there for them… _Warrick bitterly thought. _Because I sure as hell have been a horrible friend for the past six or so years._

"Are you… okay, Warrick…?" Catherine gently probed him.

"Of course! Why do you ask…?" he replied.

"You, uh… look… a little bit unhappy…" she cautiously pointed out.

Warrick sighed. "It's been one year since our last retreat, right…?" he frowned, staring at the empty fire pit.

"One year to the day…" Grissom confirmed, nodding his head.

"Well… all of you have seemed to move on over the past year, and… I'm still fighting the same old demons…"

Greg raised an eyebrow. "You're still thinking about whether or not you're a good man…?" he asked, referring back to last year's conversation.

"Well… not exactly…" he mumbled. "A part of me really believes that I am a good friend, and… I know that I would do anything for one of my friends, but…" he trailed off.

"But…?" Grissom prompted him.

"I still can't get over the fact that I caused Holly's death, and that… I'm the reason that Nick got buried alive."

Nick tightly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. _Yeah… I really don't want to talk about this right now… _he frowned, opening his eyes a moment later, and glancing over at Warrick. "Man… you didn't… you didn't cause me to be buried alive…" he whispered. "It wasn't your fault…I already told you that…"

"It could have happened to _any _of us, Warrick…" Catherine reminded him. "Nick just happened to be the person to respond to that particular call…"

"I know, but…" he again trailed off.

"No buts about it, Warrick… do you remember what happened after I… came back home…?" Nick swallowed.

"Uh… yeah…" Warrick muttered, glancing at the sticks and rocks around the fire pit. "I took you out to lunch…"

"You did much more than that, man…" Nick sighed. "You talked to me. You helped me cope with what happened. You were _there _for me…"

"Okay, so I was there for you. Big deal…" Warrick quietly told him. "So how do you explain Holly Gribbs…?"

"Hold on a minute, Warrick…" Sara interrupted him. "'Big deal?' 'Big deal' that you were there for Nick…? It might not have been a big deal for you, but I'm sure as hell positive that it meant a helluva lot to him!" she added, her voice starting to rise in anger. "Because I can tell you that friends can make all of the difference in the world!" she sputtered.

"Sara…" Grissom warned. "Calm down…" he whispered to her.

"No!" Sara replied, feeling her face grow warm with fury. "No, Grissom, because he's a good friend, and he doesn't even see it!" Turning to Warrick, she yelled even louder, "You don't even see it! You're so consumed with Holly Gribbs, that you can't even see that you're still there for the rest of us!"

"But Sara--" Warrick tried to say.

"Don't you 'but Sara' me!" Sara vehemently told him. "Because yes, you made a mistake with Holly, Warrick. A big mistake! A mistake that you will have to live with for the rest of your life! But…" she suddenly dropped her voice down to a mere whisper. "But… that doesn't mean that you haven't been there for the rest of us…" she frowned.

Grissom shot Sara a look, finally silencing her.

"Sorry…" she mumbled.

Even Greg, normally full of words, stared at Sara in disbelief. _I've never seen you get quite this angry before… _he mused to himself. _But you're right, of course…_ "She's a smart woman, Warrick…" he simply told him. "She speaks the truth…"

Nick stared at the ground below his feet, not entirely sure what he was feeling right now. He was worried about Warrick, that much was for sure, but… after Sara's outburst, he didn't exactly know how to respond. Although her tone of voice was almost… intimidating, her words rang true. And Warrick had to know that. Clearing his voice, he sighed. "Yeah, man… she's right…"

Catherine, shocked at the venom in Sara's voice, bit her lip. "Uh…" she spoke up, raising an eyebrow. "I'd have to… agree with them, Warrick," she cautiously told him. "Survivor's guilt is… painful, to say the very least…"

Warrick looked up at her, the sadness very evident in his eyes. "It… is…?" he hesitantly asked.

"It is…" she confirmed. "After… Eddie died, I just… felt very responsible for everything bad that had happened to him. I went through the 'what-ifs:' 'What if I had been a better wife?' Or, 'what if I hadn't kicked him out?' Or, 'what if I had found a way to help him get over his drug addiction?' I felt like I had caused his death… and that feeling stinks, Warrick…"

"Yeah… it's a bitch…" he mumbled. "And… I just can't get past my feelings… I mean… I know that I'm there for all of you... or at the very least, I try to be. I wasn't joking when I said that that is what I like the most about myself, but…"

"But…?" Greg prodded him.

Warrick sighed. "But… I was still responsible for someone's death, and… no matter how hard I try, I just can't get over that particular fact."

Grissom raised an eyebrow, before clearing his throat. "I wouldn't normally ask this question in front of other people, but…"

"It's okay, go ahead…" Warrick mumbled. "At this point, it really doesn't matter anymore…"

"Have you ever… thought about counseling…?" Grissom cautiously asked him.

"Isn't that… what this is supposed to be…?" Warrick smiled, trying to laugh in order to lighten the mood.

"No, Warrick, I'm serious. Perhaps… you should look into some. I can give you the names of a couple of great people…"

"I don't know, Grissom… Counseling really isn't my cup of tea," he immediately replied. "The whole… laying down on the couch thing, and talking, and just… sharing… I don't like it..."

"I don't, either…" Sara trailed off. "But… I see someone, and… she's really good…" she added. "I could… give you her name, if you'd like. And… I can… go with you for the first time, if that would make you feel more comfortable…"

"Seriously…?" Warrick asked, glancing over at Sara.

"Seriously. Because… you're my friend, and… you've been there for me in the past… and because friends are important to me…"

"I would… appreciate that…" Warrick quietly whispered, staring down at the ground in embarrassment. "A lot, actually. Maybe I'll give this person a call, as soon as we get home…?" he added, raising his eyes to look across the fire pit at her.

Sara just nodded, smiling.

"But again, Warrick…" Nick spoke up. "I want you to remember that you _are _there for your friends, regardless of what happened with Holly…"

Catherine agreed. "You've definitely always been there for me…"

"And me…" Sara added.

"And me…" Greg confirmed.

"And me, too…" Grissom flashed him a small smile. _Well… whenever I let anyone other than Sara be there for me, that is…_ he frowned.

"Thank you, everyone. I mean it… I really… appreciate your friendship…"

"So keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me, for sure…" Greg grinned, starting to sing. "For good times, and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more, that's what friends are for…" he sang.

Warrick started to chuckle at Greg. "Elton John? Isn't that a… love song…?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ehn!" Greg grinned. "Would you prefer Carole King's 'You've Got a Friend…?'" he asked.

"I would, actually," Catherine teased him.

"You got it! Where are my other divas…?" Greg then asked. "Because, didn't this song appear on that vh1 Diva show awhile back…?"

Sara just raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even going to ask you how you know that…" she grinned. "And I'm not singing along with you!" she added.

"Suit yourself!" Greg shrugged, standing up, and clearing his voice. "When you're down, and troubled, and you need some loving care. And nothing, nothing is going right…"

Nick started chuckling, as he listened to Greg.

"HEY! I'M WORKING HERE!" Greg jokingly yelled. "As I was saying, 'and nothing, nothing is going right… close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there! To brighten up, even your darkest night…"

"I'm getting that Kumbaya feeling again…" Catherine mumbled, as she resisted the urge to sing along with Greg.

"Must… Not… Sing…" Sara laughed, although she was relieved that the tension was quickly ebbing away from the campsite, thanks, yet again, to Greg's humor.

"'You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I'll come running, to see you again. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall. All you have to do is call. And I'll be there, yes I will, 'cause you've got a friend…'" Greg concluded.

"Uh… thanks… I think…" Warrick grinned, running a hand through his hair.

Without anyone noticing, Grissom unobtrusively sighed. _Great… I'm next…_ he frowned.

**---------------**

TO BE CONTINUED 


	21. Grissom's Story: The Road Not Taken

**A/N: **Sorry that this chapter took slightly longer! Grissom is never easy to write for, and I should have started it a week ago! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter, though, and as always, thank you so much for your comments and critiques. I really put everything that I have into my stories, and when people point out something that can make them better, I really (really!) appreciate their thoughts. I want each story to be the very best that I can possibly make it!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The Emerson quote came from www. saidwhat. co. uk / quotes/ inspirational. And the poem is Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken.

**Title: **_Grissom's Story: The Road Not Taken_

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"_Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." – Ralph Waldo Emerson_

"_Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken_

**---------------**

**Around the Campfire**

Nick stifled another yawn with one hand, as he glanced into the still semi-warm fire pit. "Do we have any more coffee…?" he mumbled to Greg, glancing down at his empty mug.

"Why are you asking me?" Greg frowned, shrugging his shoulders. "Do I look like the coffee king…?" he joked, raising an eyebrow, and staring across the fire pit at Nick.

"Actually… I would have to go with a yes on that one…" Warrick grinned. "All hail King Greg…" he added, yawning, and running a hand through his hair.

"Please… do _not _encourage him, gentlemen…" Catherine smiled, glancing at Warrick and Nick. "Because… he's bad enough as it is..." she teasingly told the group, winking at Greg.

"Well… we're out of coffee, but… we do have some hot chocolate…" Grissom trailed off, looking across the fire at each individual CSI. "Will that do…?" he asked.

Greg's eyes widened, as he slowly stretched, standing up. "That depends…" he mumbled.

"On what…?" Grissom bit his lip, raising an eyebrow.

"Do we have any marshmallows to go in the hot chocolate…?" he asked, his face breaking out into a grin. "Because… I _love _marshmallows!" he admitted.

Sara chuckled, stretching her legs out in front of her. "Yeah… I think we all remember…" she told him.

"What's _that _supposed to mean?" Greg asked, feigning hurt.

"S'mores? Last year?" Nick reminded him, walking over to their supplies tent, in order to get some matches. "I'm cold…" he announced, shuffling back toward the fire pit. "So… I'm going to build this little sucker up…" he added.

"Wait a minute, what _about_ last year?" Greg interrupted, his eyebrow once again rising.

Catherine laughed, shaking her head from side to side. "You refused to let go of the bag of marshmallows…" she pointed out. "And… then you kept eating them all night long…" she added.

"No, I most certainly did not!" Greg joked.

"Uh, yeah, Greggo, you did!" Nick laughed, as he knelt down next to the fire, adding some crumpled up newspaper, some smaller twigs, and a couple of bigger pieces of wood. Holding the match box between two fingers, he clutched a match in his other hand, flicking it across the match box.

"Hate to break it to you, man," Warrick grinned. "But you did…"

"Nuh-uh!" Greg immediately shot back.

"Uh-huh!" Sara laughed.

"Oh, like _that _was mature!" Greg smiled, retaking his seat around the fire, and kicking a stone away from him. "But… I suppose you're right…" he chuckled. "I refused to cough up the bag… so…" he frowned, turning to look at Grissom. "Do we…?"

"Do we… what, Greg?" Grissom furrowed an eyebrow.

"Have any marshmallows!"

Grissom gave Greg a rare smile. "Yes, we do, Greg. Why don't you grab the marshmallows and the hot cocoa mix?" he suggested, watching, as Greg immediately bounded into the supplies tent to grab the necessary items.

"Alrighty then…" Warrick laughed.

"So… Grissom…" Catherine trailed off. "I believe that it's your turn to go…" she added, smiling appreciatively at Nick, who managed to get the fire started. Holding her hands up to it, palms facing outward, she sighed.

"Right… I suppose it's only fair, right…?" Grissom frowned, biting his lip, as he rested his hands on his knees.

"Well… if you want to, that is…" Nick mumbled, sitting back down on his log. Staring into the fire, he allowed his body to slowly relax, as he listened to the silence of the campgrounds. _This is peaceful, you know that?_ he asked himself. _Just a few birds chirping… no neon lights… no prostitutes hanging out on every corner, hawking their goods… just… peace and quiet._ "But we're a pretty supportive group…" he added, finally raising his gaze to meet Grissom's.

"We sure are…" Catherine confirmed. "Probably one of the closest teams around the country…" she trailed off.

Greg silently returned to the campfire, setting a giant kettle of water on top of the metal grill that was covering the fire. Sitting back down on his log, he stared across the small, flickering flame, at Grissom. "Actually, I'd say that we _are _the closest team around the country… so… spill it, Grissom…" Greg told him.

"Greg…" Catherine warned.

"I know, I know," he sighed. "If you want to," Greg amended.

"But…" Warrick frowned, listening to the dry wood crackling in the fire pit. "We are a non-judgmental team…" he trailed off.

"I know…" Grissom chuckled. "Alright. So… what do I like the most about myself…?"

"That's the question!" Greg smiled. "So… what's the answer…?"

"It's funny, actually…" he mused.

"Hmm…?" Sara asked, as she absentmindedly tugged at a loose thread on her shirt sleeve, trying to pull it right out.

"Yeah, what's so funny?" Warrick probed.

"Well…" Grissom mumbled.

"Spill it!" Greg again ordered, as he quickly glanced into the kettle of water. _Boil. Now. I command it_, he thought to himself.

Catherine just shook her head at Greg, rolling her eyes.

"I like my uniqueness…" Grissom cautiously announced.

"Your… what…?" Sara asked, her eyes going wide, as a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. "Your… uniqueness…?" she tried not to chuckle.

"Yes, my uniqueness!" Grissom repeated. "I think that I'm a pretty unique individual! As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, 'Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail…'That's me…" he quietly told everyone.

"I'll give you that much…" Greg grinned, grabbing a marshmallow out of the bag, and promptly shoving it into his mouth. _Man… these are really good…_ he thought to himself, grabbing another one; and another one; and another one.

"Yo, man, gimme the bag!" Warrick mumbled, reaching over, and swiping the entire bag from Greg, setting it down in between himself and Nick.

"Hey! I was eating those!" Greg retorted.

"HEY!" Catherine loudly chided the guys.

"Sorry…" Greg mumbled.

"Sorry…" Warrick added, staring down at the ground in slight embarrassment. _So much for being a supportive team_… he frowned to himself.

Sara just raised an eyebrow at Greg and Warrick's antics, before returning her gaze to Grissom.

"Anyhow…" Grissom frowned, swallowing, and clearing his voice. "I know that I am a bit… unusual, but… my oddities make me… interesting to be around… I think…" he nervously bit his lip.

Sara hid a smile, choosing to gaze into the fire, rather than at Grissom. _Yeah… I'll say that you're interesting… or… fun to hang around_… she thought to herself.

Catherine just nodded toward Grissom, trying to encourage him to continue.

Warrick, meanwhile, carefully dipped a hand into the marshmallow bag, slipping one into his palm, and then quickly popping it into his mouth.

Greg glared at Warrick, frowning. _I know what you just did, Mr. Warrick Brown_… he thought to himself. _Marshmallow stealer…_ he added, as he returned his full attention to Grissom. "Actually…" he mused. "I think that your uniqueness makes you interesting to work with…" he shrugged. "There aren't all that many entomology experts out there, so… that's really something to be proud of…" he trailed off.

"I know," Nick smiled at his supervisor, as he reached toward the fire, tossing another piece of wood under the grate, fueling the flames. "I agree, actually…" he added. "I'm always amazed by how you can deduce the timeline of a crime, just by examining the bugs that are present at the scene…"

"Very cool…" Warrick simply uttered, glancing across the fire at his supervisor. "And very respectable…"

"Yeah…" Grissom trailed off, suddenly frowning, and rubbing the back of his neck.

"What's… wrong, Grissom…?" Sara quietly prodded him.

"Well…" he mumbled, his jaw slightly twitching. "Do any of you think that my… uniqueness… gets in the way of me doing my job…?" he finally voiced his concern, staring down at the ground, so as not to make eye contact with anyone. "Because… sometimes…I wonder…"

"Grissom…" Catherine frowned. "Honestly?"

"Yes, please…" he replied.

"Honestly, I think that your uniqueness makes you an even better supervisor. I mean… granted, you don't play the political game very well… okay, you down right stink at it…" she cracked a small smile. "But… you care about us. You aren't some mindless paper-pusher with his eyes constantly on the bottom-line. You recognize that there are people involved…"

Nick scrunched up his nose for a minute, tightly clasping his hands in his lap. _Do I… really want to keep bringing up my… incident…? _he frowned, trying to think things through. _No, not really, but… _he sighed. "You know, Grissom… I think that you go the extra mile when it comes to us and our safety. Your ideas might be a little… unique, in that… you tend to, uh… ignore… Ecklie at times…" he trailed off. "But…" he cleared his throat. "When I was buried alive, and you came to rescue me, it was you that kept me sane at the very end. _You_, Grissom. I looked up at your face, and you reassured me that I would be okay. You put your hand on the… box, and assured me that I would be okay. I don't care if you _are _eccentric, Grissom… not that I am saying that you are, or anything, because you aren't," Nick frowned, once again finding something fascinating on the ground to study. "Because at this point, I don't want to work for anyone else… uh… no offense meant, Catherine…" he mumbled.

Catherine bit her lip, staring into the fire. _They all really like Grissom this much…? _she questioned herself. _Is he… really that much better of a supervisor than I am…? I mean… he's good, no doubt about that, but… _she trailed off. _I'm not… that bad… I don't think… I'd do anything for any of them, too…_ she couldn't help but frown… and feel a slight twinge of jealousy. Aloud, however, she simple mumbled, "No offense taken, Nicky… and Grissom… I… agree with Nick. We all know that you care about us…" she quietly pointed out, trying to hide the jealousy from her voice.

"Yeah, Grissom…" Warrick confirmed. "You have been nothing but supportive of me and my… issues…" he hesitated, referring to his former gambling problem. "And… I'm not so sure that another supervisor would have been…" he added. "I mean… not that you covered for me, although… uh…." he coughed, staring down at the ground in embarrassment. "But… your unique perspective on leadership kept me my job…"

"And my life…" Sara admitted with a small smile. "You… kept me safe a few years ago, when I was ready to end it all… your unique personality did not allow you to quit on me, and… now look at us…" she trailed off, slightly blushing.

Grissom cracked a small smile at that, glancing up at Sara. _Yes… now look at us… _he thought to himself. _Look at how far we've come… how… natural we are with one another… how… perfect we are with one another._

"Wait a moment, what are we looking at…?" Greg immediately asked, once again trying to get some information out of either Grissom or Sara, about the status of their relationship.

Catherine just chuckled, once again shaking her head at Greg.

Warrick quickly reached down into the marshmallow bag, drawing one out, and flinging it across the fire at Greg. "Mind your own business!" he told his colleague.

"Hey!" Greg grinned. "Can't a guy just ask a simple question?"

Nick, following Warrick's example, grabbed a fistful of marshmallows, pelting Greg with the soft, gooey treat.

"Hey!" Greg repeated. "C'mon, now!"

Sara grinned. "Hang it up…" she told him.

"But then my mind will just be forced to fill in the blanks on its own…" he trailed off, glancing first at Sara, and then at Grissom, and then back at Sara again.

Sara just rolled her eyes, laughing, as she witnessed Greg shudder. "Imagine away…" she smiled. "But imagine at your own risk…" she chuckled, glancing over at Grissom.

Grissom just chuckled, staring at the ground. _Can we… please not encourage them to imagine anything…? I don't want to have the mental image of them imagining us stuck in my head! _ "So… honestly, though, you don't think that I'm too… odd…?" he hesitantly brought them all back to the topic of conversation.

"No… not at all," Catherine smiled, meeting Grissom's gaze. "I think that you're… interesting…" she added. "And that's a good thing. Life would be boring, if we were all the same."

"I think that you're you, Grissom… and that's all that really matters…" Nick told him, flashing him a small smile.

"Yeah, what he said…" Greg confirmed.

"Yup…" Warrick simply replied, shrugging. "Couldn't ask for a better supervisor… or a better friend…" he kindly commented.

Sara cleared her throat, her eyes meeting Grissom's across the fire. Slightly smiling, she started to recite a poem. "'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both, And be one traveler, long I stood, And looked down one as far as I could, To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there, Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay, In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh, Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference…'"she trailed off. "That's you, Grissom… you took the road less traveled, and… it has made all of the difference… you might be unique, but… we all still like you…" she smiled.

_Interesting… _Greg thought. _He's really rubbing off on her, I guess! _he mused, standing up, and removing the boiling pot of water from the fire.

Nick smiled, as he listened to Sara recite the poem. _Well… who knew! _he thought to himself. _Maybe… there is hope for them… they definitely seem to… click…_

"Well said, Sara…" Catherine complimented her colleague. "Really… that's a great poem, and… it's incredibly true…"

Warrick just grinned, raising an eyebrow.

And as for Grissom? He smiled, feeling his face once again flush. _Every time that you open your mouth, I begin to love you even more…_

"Hey, the hot chocolate is done!" Greg eagerly announced, ripping Grissom out of his reverie.

"Is food… all that you think about…?" Nick chuckled.

"Uh… no!" Greg grinned. "I think about video games, and girls, and…" _Grissom and Sara. Although… that's really kind of sick_… he mused.

Sara just rolled her eyes, as she stood up, grabbing the marshmallows from Warrick, smiling. "Hot chocolate… I need some…" she informed Greg, holding out her mug.

"My pleasure!" Greg smiled, pouring her some. "Anyone else…?" he then asked, running his free hand through his hair.

Nick nodded, while Warrick and Catherine just held their mugs out in front of themselves.

"Thank you, Greg…" Grissom merely smiled. "I appreciate it…" he added, as Greg filled his mug.

"No problem… so about you and…"

"Can it, Greg…" Catherine grinned.

Greg frowned. _But I just want to know! _he thought to himself, staring down at the ground in front of him.

Grissom raised an eyebrow, standing up. "In about an hour, we will head toward the ropes course. Do what you need to do, and be ready to go at that time…"

"Gotcha, Boss," Nick sighed, standing up, and heading to his tent.

"In an hour…" Warrick confirmed.

"Shower…" Greg mumbled, heading toward the bath house.

"Are you sure about this course…?" Catherine asked, frowning. "I hate to admit it, but… I'm still a little bit nervous about it…" she trailed off.

"You'll be fine, Catherine. I promise…" Grissom smiled at her, watching her for a moment as she walked off. "And you, Ms. Sidle…"

"Yes…?" Sara grinned, walking toward him.

"Thank you for reciting the poem. It's one of my favorite ones…" he told her, gently holding his arms open to her.

"Mine, too…" Sara simply smiled, glancing around the site to ensure that the coast was clear, before quietly walking into his arms. After a moment, she reluctantly sighed. "Alright… I need to get ready… I'll see you later…" she trailed off, leaning up to give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Yes, I'll see you in an hour…" Grissom confirmed, smiling, as she walked toward the bath house. _I can't believe that you waited for me to come to my senses, Sara… but I am certainly glad that you did._

**---------------**

TO BE CONTINUED 


	22. Rubber Ducky and Low Ropes

**A/N: odeepblue, wraiths-angel, **and **Cherrydrops**, thank you so much for commenting on the last chapter! I appreciate it, and… well… your comments really made my day. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. And "Rubber Ducky" is a part of Sesame Street. Who doesn't love the little adorable duck?

**Title: **_Rubber Ducky and Low Ropes_

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**Men's Bathhouse**

"Rubber Ducky, you're the one… you make bath time _lots _of fun, Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you! Woo-woo-be-doo…" Greg quietly sang to himself, as he let the icy-cold water from the campsite's shower pelt his head.

Grabbing the shampoo bottle, and carefully pouring some of the product into the palms of his hands, he worked it into his hair, continuing the song. "Rubber Ducky, joy of joys… when I squeeze you, you make noise! Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true! Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo," he chuckled to himself.

_Sesame Street_, Greg grinned to himself. _Man, that's a good show! _he smiled, pulling the soap out of his shower bag, and scrubbing the dirt and grime off of his body. Aloud, Greg started to sing a little bit louder. "Every day when I, make my way to the tubby…" '_Tubby?' What the hell is a tubby? _Shrugging, Greg soaped up his left arm, grinning from ear-to- ear. "I find a little fella who's, cute and yellow, and chub…by… Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!"

_Hehe… 'Rub-a-dub-a-dubby…' that's funny!_, he mused, chuckling. And then laughing a little bit harder, he nearly dropped his soap, as he thought, _'rub-a-dub-a-dubby rhymes with funny! I'm a regular old Dr. Seuss! _Shrugging, and soaping up his right arm, Greg continued on with his serenade. "Rubber Ducky, you're so fine… And I'm lucky that you're mine! Rubber ducky, I'm aw-fully fond of you…."

_Hmm, I'm fond of other things, too! _Greg smiled to himself. _Marshmallows, camping, the team, Sara… I wonder if Sara is also taking a shower? Well there's an… interesting thought! _Rubbing the dirt and grime off of his left leg, Greg shivered as the freezing-cold water ran down his back, once again almost dropping the soap. But lost in the moment of the song, and forgetting his momentary discomfort with the water temperature, Greg decided to belt out the next couple of lyrics. "Every day when I, make my way to the tubby… I find a little fella who's, cute and yellow, and chubby! Doo-doo-be-doo!"

Finishing up his right leg, Greg laughed aloud, as he finished the song. "Rubber Ducky, you're so fine… and I'm lucky that you're mine… Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of… Rubber Ducky, I'd like a whole pond of… Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you! DOO-DOO, BE-DOO!" he grinned, ending his shower, and shutting off the water.

**  
---------------**

**Women's Bathhouse**

With a sigh, Sara trudged down the worn and beaten bath to the bathhouse. _I have no idea why I'm taking a shower now_, she mused. _God only knows how dirty I'm going to get climbing around the ropes course later on… but… I hate smelling_, she thought to herself, as she glanced at the lush flowers and bushes lining the path to the restrooms and the showers. _And besides, being clean will just make me feel better! _she added, as she flung her towel over her shoulder, and swung her shower basket back and forth.

Passing the men's bathhouse, Sara stopped for a moment, raising her eyebrows at the strange noises coming from within. Then shrugging, she continued on her journey to the women's side of the building, meandering inside, and finding the shower stall furthest from the entrance. Setting her shower basket down on the bench, hanging up her towel, and hesitantly turning the water on, Sara prayed that the water would not be too cold. _Please don't freeze me to death…_ she begged, frowning, as she watched the water pour out of the fairly rusted spigot. Tentatively sticking a hand under the water, Sara sighed, as she immediately retracted her fingers from the icy-coldness.

Mumbling to herself, Sara undressed, finally just walking right into the shower stall. _The faster that I finish this, the faster that I can find warmth again_… she reasoned with herself. _So move at the speed of light…_

Grabbing the shampoo bottle, Sara squeezed some of the liquid onto her palms, immediately working the shampoo into her hair… stopping suddenly, when she thought that she heard someone's voice coming through the shower wall. "Huh…?" she muttered.

"Rubber Ducky, you're the one… you make bath time _lots _of fun…Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you! Woo-woo-be-doo…" came a faint voice through the vents located near the top of the wall.

Chuckling to herself, Sara rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, before grabbing the soap, and starting to wipe the night's dirt, grime, sweat, and tears, off of her face. And then straining her ears, she grinned, when she heard the voice continue.

"Rubber Ducky, joy of joys… when I squeeze you, you make noise! Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true! Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo…

_Is that… Sesame Street? _Sara asked herself. "You've got to be kidding me!" she grinned, as she knelt down to wash and rinse her legs.

"Every day when I, make my way to the tubby… I find a little fella who's, cute and yellow, and chub…by… Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!" the voice continued.

"That sounds like Greg…" Sara quietly mumbled aloud. "But… it can't be… I don't think, anyhow…" she shook her head.

"Rubber Ducky, you're so fine… And I'm lucky that you're mine! Rubber ducky, I'm aw-fully fond of you…." the voice continued, this time a little bit more loudly.

"Wait a second…" Sara grinned, turning around to stare up at the ceiling in order to process the voice. "That's definitely… uh…" she bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

But then Greg's voice came loud and clear through the vent. "Every day when I, make my way to the tubby… I find a little fella who's, cute and yellow, and chubby! Doo-doo-de-doo! Rubber Ducky, you're so fine… and I'm lucky that you're mine… Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of… Rubber Ducky, I'd like a whole pond of… Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you! DOO-DOO, BE-DOO!"

Sara hysterically laughed, as she tried to rinse and clean off her arms. "You've got to be kidding me…" she repeated her earlier statement, finally finishing her shower. "Well he'll never live this one down…" she smiled. "Of that, I guarantee!" she added, as she grabbed her towel, and immediately dried herself off.

Throwing on some clean clothes, Sara made her way back to the front of the bathhouse.

---------------

**On the Path**

Greg swung his wet towel back and forth, running a hand through his hair. "Nicely done, Sanders. You look like a million bucks," he grinned to himself, as he tried to pick up his pace. Lost in his own world, Greg didn't even notice that he was no longer alone on the path.

"Hey, Greg!" Sara cheerfully greeted him.

"Fancy meeting you here," Greg returned her greeting, smiling from ear-to-ear.

Sara just raised an eyebrow. "I have a question for you, actually…"

"Sure, what is it?" he curiously asked. _Of COURSE I'm still available, if that's what you're going to ask me!_

"How's Bert doing…?"

"Huh…?" Greg asked, furrowing his eyebrow.

"Your friend, Bert. How is he?"

"I don't know anyone named Bert…" he trailed off

"Oh, well then in that case, how's your rubber ducky?" Sara grinned, as she jogged off down the path.

"Huh?" Greg frowned, before his eyes widened in understanding. "WAIT, SARA!" he sputtered.

---------------

**Around the Campfire**

When Greg finally made it back to the campsite, Warrick, Nick, and Catherine were all sitting around the fire pit, waiting for Grissom, Sara, and Greg to finish getting ready to go.

With a sigh, Grissom emerged from his tent, clad in a clean Hawaiian-print shirt, and a pair of jeans. Standing just behind Nick, he gazed over at Greg. "All set to go?"

"Yeah…" Greg mumbled, embarrassedly glancing at his friends. "But it's not true, really!" he immediately announced to everyone.

"_What_ isn't true…?" Warrick asked, frowning.

"Huh…?" Nick asked.

"I don't have a rubber ducky, and I wasn't singing!"

Grissom just raised an eyebrow. _I care about this… why?_

_That's, uh… nice to know! _Catherine thought to herself, chuckling.

"Whatever Sara told you, it isn't true!"

"Uh… Greg…" Grissom trailed off.

Sara emerged from her tent, a huge smile on her face. "I actually never told them anything," she grinned. "But you just did…"

"Greggo, what… uh… happened at the bathhouse?" Nick prodded his colleague, trying not to laugh.

"No, man, I actually don't think I want to know!" Warrick smiled, standing up.

"Well whatever happened by the showers, it apparently didn't involve a rubber ducky… or singing!" Catherine teased Greg, a small chuckle escaping through her lips.

"I can neither deny nor confirm anything…" Sara grinned, winking over at Greg. "Because I'm 'awfully fond of you…'" she added, singing one of the bars of the song.

Greg just turned a bright shade of red, staring down at the ground in embarrassment.

"Well for whatever its worth, Greg," Sara continued, raising an eyebrow. "You have a great voice!"

"Yeah… uh…" he coughed. "So… are we ready to go…?"

Catherine again chuckled, standing up. "Yeah… let's get this thing over with…."

"Uh-huh…" Nick hesitantly nodded, following Catherine's example, and standing up.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Warrick enthusiastically added.

Sara laughed, as she glanced down the path to the ropes course. "Lead on, Grissom…" she finally mumbled.

Grissom simply nodded, grabbing his backpack, and heading away from their campsite.

**---------------**

**The Ropes Course: Low Ropes**

"Good morning!" Maxwell Channing pleasantly smiled at the criminalists from Las Vegas.

"Morning…" they half-heartedly replied.

"I said _good morning!_" Max repeated, a large smile plastered to his face.

"Hey, man," Nick quietly muttered, trying to hide the fear from his voice. _What… the hell… is that…? _he asked himself, swallowing, as his eyes took in the massive ropes course spanning the ground and the trees just in front of the group.

"Morning…" Sara mumbled, frowning. _Hell no, Grissom. Absolutely, positively, hands-down, hell no… _she shuddered, as she noticed a fifty-foot ladder attached to a tree, a platform at the top of the ladder, and a rope connecting two separate trees together. _There has to be at least three-hundred feet in between those trees! You're out of your fucking mind!_

"Uh… right… hi…" Catherine trailed off, staring at the ground. _We're all going to die. Seriously, we're all going to die! Wait a minute, why are you so nervous? This is nothing… really…_

"How's it going, man?" Warrick asked the guide, trying to remain calm. _I'm not afraid of heights or anything, but damn, that's high! _he thought to himself, as he shielded his eyes against the sun, glancing up at something that looked like a zip line. _Although…_ he mused. _That actually kind of looks like fun!_

Grissom glanced at his team, before frowning. _Perhaps this wasn't such a great idea after all. They all seem so… terrified! But this will help with our communication, compassion, and cooperation skills… I know it will…_

"Whoa, cool!" Greg enthusiastically grinned at the guide, pointing at something that looked like a spider web. "Are we going to do that? Oh, and hi!" he added.

The guide just chuckled at Greg, nodding. "You sure are. That's actually going to be your first activity," he told him. "But let's start at the very beginning, shall we?" he then asked. "My name is Maxwell Channing, and I will be working with you for the next six hours of your life…"

_Six… hours? _Catherine thought to herself. _That's… a long time... _"I'm Catherine…" she managed to mumble, holding out her hand to Max.

"Nice to meet you, Catherine," he grinned, shaking her hand, and looking over at Sara. "And you are?"

"Sara Sidle… nice to meet you…" she practically whispered.

"And I'm Warrick," Warrick grinned, firmly shaking the guide's hand. "We're really going to do all of these activities?"

"You sure are, Warrick," he replied, looking over at Greg.

"Greg…" Greg simply told him, shaking his hand.

"And I'm Nick," Nick added, also shaking his hand.

"Max, it's good to see you again…" Grissom smiled.

"It's good to see you again, Gil," he kindly replied, shaking his hand. "So are you all ready…?"

"I guess…" Sara mumbled.

"Yeah…" Nick trailed off. _Uh… no, not really…_

"Are you sure that this is safe?" Catherine quietly questioned Max. _Because it sure as hell doesn't look like it._

"Absolutely sure," Max replied with a smile. "And it will be fun, too…"

"I have no doubt in my mind that this will be a great experience!" Greg excitedly announced.

"Let's go!" Warrick smiled.

"Alrighty then," Max chuckled, leading the way over to the spider web. "This is a pretty simple one," he explained. "Notice the nine holes?"

All six criminalists nodded, as each individual examined the different holes. The holes were all of varying shapes and sizes, and were located anywhere from one to seven feet off of the ground.

"Well," Max continued. "Each one of you is going to go through a different hole," he informed them all. "Without touching the sides…" he added.

"Uh… huh…?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"How…?" Warrick quizzically asked Max.

"Teamwork!" he simply replied. "Someone will have to go through first, and then you will each take turns lifting one another through the holes… and if someone touches one of the sides, well, you'll all have to start over."

"This actually sounds pretty easy!" Greg mused.

"You think so, eh?" Max smiled.

"Uh-huh!"

"Well it's not, Greg…" Grissom calmly told him. "This particular activity is going to require a lot of teamwork. We will need to communicate with one another at all times, and of course, we will have to trust one another…"

"Trust…?" Sara whispered. "But… why?"

"We will have to trust that no one will let us drop us…" Warrick answered her question.

"Oh… right…" Sara mumbled.

"But we won't let anyone fall…" Grissom immediately added.

"No, no one will fall…" Catherine confirmed.

"Because all for one…?" Nick smiled.

"And one for all…" Warrick, Greg, and Sara all yelled out together, laughing.

**---------------**

TO BE CONTINUED 


	23. The Spider Web

**A/N: **Special thanks goes to **KristenElizabeth** for beta'ing a previous chapter of _The Retreat_, and for offering me some suggestions as to how to improve my writing. Thanks also goes to the **The Lovely Desdemona**, for continuously providing her own suggestions. Keep 'em coming! **Cherrydrops, odeepblue, dark-girl-faith-sidle, **and **wraiths-angel**, thank you, as always, for your comments. These chapters are becoming more and more difficult to write, and your comments are helping me get started!

Also, if you are interested in seeing what the spider web actually looks like, here is a pretty good image of it (if you can get to the link). www . Manzanoretreat . com/ graphics /gallery/ lowropesspider3. jpg (without the spaces!).

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_The Spider Web_

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**Low Ropes Course**

Greg stood with his arms by his side, glancing up at the rope spider web wedged between two of the course's smaller trees. "This is going to be interesting," he mused, as his gaze turned toward Nick.

"Yeah, man," Nick replied, shading his eyes against the glare of the blazing sun. "I've never actually done this before, and I'm a little bit curious to see how it works."

Standing in between Grissom and Catherine, Sara hesitantly cleared her throat. "Are you, uh, completely sure about this?" she asked Max, frowning at the rope obstacle directly in front of her. "I mean, we're all supposed to go through a different hole in the web, right? That's the idea behind this… activity?"

"Yes and no," Max hesitantly smiled at her. "The _physical_ object of the activity is for each of you to get to the other side of the spider web, but the _underlying _goal is for you to work on your communication skills while engendering trust. No matter how hard you try to complete this task alone, you won't be able to do it; it definitely requires teamwork."

Catherine nodded her head in understanding, her arms crossed across her chest. "I've seen this activity completed on military shows," she told her colleagues. "One person goes through first, and then everyone works together to help the rest of the team members through the various holes."

"But how?" Warrick asked, squinting over at Catherine.

"By lifting people up, and handing them through the holes," she replied, the corner of her mouth pulling up into a smile.

"Wait a minute," Sara frowned. "So you mean… we're, uh… going to have to… touch each other?" she asked, her voice barely audible over the rustling of the trees.

Grissom glanced at Sara, trying to hide the concern from appearing in his voice. "Yes, Sara," he cautiously told her. _I should have realized that this activity would make you a little bit uncomfortable. You don't like to be touched, and someone will probably have to touch you! _"But…" he trailed off.

"It's okay, Grissom," Sara flashed him a nervous smile. "We're all friends, here, right?" she asked the group.

Nick gave a small chuckle, nodding his head yes.

"We're definitely friends," Warrick agreed. "So we have nothing to worry about," he added, once again glancing up at the rope spider web.

"So about the strategy," Greg mused, bringing everyone back to the topic at hand. "We're all intelligent people," he swatted a fly away from his head. "So let's just sit down and figure this all out."

Sara slowly nodded, pursing her lips in thought. "Well," she began. "One of the taller ones of us should probably go through this bottom hole," she pointed to the lowest spider web ring. "So that he or she can pull us through, while the team members on this side… push."

Warrick nodded, his hand resting on his chin. "Yeah, Sara. And I volunteer to go first." _I'm strong, I can do this_, he told himself.

Catherine slowly turned her head to the side, glancing at Warrick. Nodding, she tried to smile. _There's just something…unnerving about this entire thing_, she thought to herself. _I almost think that rappelling was less nerve-wracking_. "So who wants to go through last?" she asked. "Whoever it is will either have to be extremely flexible, or we'll have to save him or her the second bottom hole."

"That's a good point, Cath," Nick murmured, thinking things through. "But that last person should also be one of the strongest, to help lift people up from this end."

"Don't look at me," Greg grinned, holding his hands up. "I'm the brains of this operation."

Catherine chuckled, before returning her attention to Nick. "What do you say? Are you up for the challenge, Nicky?"

Nick grinned. "Let's do this!"

"Okay," Grissom cleared his throat, rubbing his chin in thought. "Okay. So Warrick, you'll go through first, and Nick, you'll go through last. Who wants to go second?"

"I will," Catherine shrugged her shoulders.

"And then I suppose I can go," Sara quietly announced.

"And then Greggo, you'll be up, followed by Grissom," Nick added. "Or vice versa; I guess it doesn't really matter. So… let's get started!"

Warrick nodded, turning around to face the spider web. With his hands on his hips, he examined the bottom two holes, before glancing up at his colleagues. "What do you guys think?" he asked. "The holes are small, Nick," he commented. "Do you think that you can fit through the tinier one of the two?"

"I'm not sure, actually," Nick admitted. "But I'm still slightly less broad in the shoulders than you are, so I suppose we'll have to make it work," he added, watching as Warrick knelt down on his hands and knees in order to study the outline of the obstacle.

"Don't forget," Max interrupted their conversation. "You need to get through without touching the sides."

"I know," Warrick replied. "Can someone help guide me through, though?" he asked.

"We could do something like a wheelbarrow motion," Greg pointed out, walking slightly closer to the rope obstacle, and kneeling down beside Warrick.

"That'd be perfect, man," Warrick grinned, as he began to crawl through the hole. Greg easily picked up his feet, helping him get the rest of the way through without touching the sides.

"You're up, Catherine," Nick smiled. "What do you think about us sending you through this side hole?" he pointed to a fairly small one.

"That's fine," Catherine chuckled. "But watch your hands, Nicky and Greggo," she grinned.

"Uh-huh," Nick laughed, as he, Greg, and Grissom, picked Catherine up. "You might want to put your arms across your chest, though, Cath," he advised. "It'll make it easier for you to go through."

Catherine nodded, doing as he suggested. Mere moments later, she was safely on the other side of the web, cheerfully standing beside Warrick.

"Okay, Sara," Warrick then announced, raising an eyebrow. "Are you ready? It's you're turn," he informed her.

"I'm ready," Sara again nervously whispered, wringing her hands. _I don't want you all to touch me, I don't want you all to touch me, I really don't want you all to touch me_, she repeated over and over again to herself, as she stepped closer to the rope. _But I trust you all, so… what's my problem? I don't understand!_

"It'll be a piece of cake, Sara," Greg kindly told her, standing on one side of her, with Nick on her other side. From behind her, Grissom refrained from putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, although his close proximity to her was enough to visibly calm her down.

"Just tell us when you're ready to go, Sara, and we'll lift you up," Nick quietly told her. "Nice and easy."

Sara slowly nodded, as she gazed up at the uppermost hole. As one of the lightest criminalists in the group, her colleagues had decided that she would have to go through the highest hole; something that Sara was starting to worry about. "Okay… I'm ready," she finally mumbled, closing her eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath. _They're your friends. They won't hurt you, Sara. You have to trust them_. _Trust. This is all about trust._

From the other side of the spider web, Catherine carefully observed Sara, a little bit anxious for her. "You've got this, Sara," she told her with a small smile. "Just stand up straight, and hold your arms across your chest. We've got you," she continued. "And you've got this." Frowning at the other woman, Catherine couldn't help but notice the thin sheen of sweat forming above Sara's lip, indicating just how nervous she actually was. _Come on, Sara. Deep breaths_.

"On the count of three," Nick spoke up. "One, two, three, lift!" Nick immediately grabbed Sara's legs, while Greg supported her shoulders, and Grissom supported her back.

"You're clear on this end," Warrick calmly told his colleagues on the other side of the rope barrier. "Just slowly start to push her through the hole. And breathe, Sara," he added. _Man, you look so scared. You don't need to be scared of us!_

"Are you okay, Sara?" Grissom whispered, as he, Greg, and Nick carefully moved her closer to the spider web.

Sara took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "Y-yes, I think so," she whispered, her voice once again barely audible over the rustling of the trees, and over everyone's labored breathing. "But be careful," she fearfully added, as her friends and colleagues slowly lifted her higher up in the air, until their arms were almost straight above their heads, with Sara precariously balanced on top.

"We'll be careful, Sar," Nick promised her, as her feet reached the very edge of the hole.

"Sara, I'm going to tip your shoulders slightly back," Greg informed her. "So that your feet go a little bit higher in the air. You're okay, though, and I'm not going to let you fall. Do you trust me…?" he quietly asked her.

"Uh-huh…" Sara whispered, the fear still evident in her voice.

"Okay, Sara," Catherine softly chimed in. "You need to keep your feet straight out ahead of you now, until we tell you that it's time to bend your legs," she added. "You'll feel Warrick and I grab your legs in a couple of moments, so don't get scared."

Sara just nodded, trying to breathe. _I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this, I want to go home, _she thought to herself_. I know that you won't hurt me, but _p_lease, I don't want to be touched_, she swallowed, starting to feel the panic build up within her tiny frame.

"You're doing well, Sara," Grissom told her, noticing the stiffness in her body. _You're terrified. I know you well enough to know that you're terrified_. _I'm so sorry_, he wanted to tell her, as he gently held her up, one hand on her upper back, and one hand on her lower back.

"A little higher, Nick," Catherine calmly directed him. "Her legs are about to touch the rope," she informed him. _Breathe deeply, Sara. You really need to breathe deeply,_ she thought to herself, as she heard Sara's breathing coming in ragged gasps. "Sara, your ankles are almost all the way through the hole. Hang on!"

"Okay!" Sara yelled out a bit more loudly than she had intended to, starting to feel herself shake. _I don't want to be touched, Grissom, I don't want them to touch me, please_, she again swallowed, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, and attempting to calm herself down.

Warrick carefully grabbed a hold of Sara's feet, cautiously helping to pull her through the spider web. "C'mon, Sara, your feet are all he way through," he tried to encourage her, finding it very difficult, though, given her body language. _You're scared, aren't you? _he wanted to ask her. _But it's okay, I promise you. We'd never let anything happen to you._

"We've got you, Sar," Nick quietly told her, as he continued to pass her body through the hole to Warrick. "We've got you, and you're okay. Do you trust us…?" _Trust us, Sar. You have to trust us. We're a team; a family._

"Y-yes, Nick. I do," Sara again squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if trying to convince herself of that fact.

Once Sara's legs were completely through the hole, Nick realized that he had to move his hands further up her body. Glancing at Grissom for a moment as if to ask him for his permission to touch Sara, he hesitated, before gently resting his hands on her hips. _I'm not going to hurt you, Sara. I promise. I'm really not! _

But regardless of Nick's actual intensions, Sara's mind was in a whole other place. The moment that she felt Nick's hands grip her hips, trying to hold her steady, she shrieked, bucking against her colleague's grasp. "Stop! Please!" she wailed, her mind mentally taking her back in time, to another place. "I don't want to! I don't want you to! Don't touch me!" she whispered, as tears started to slide down her cheeks. "I don't want you to! Please, I'm saying no!" she screamed. "I'M SAYING NO!"

Nick, terrified of the words that were pouring out of Sara's mouth, not to mention terrified of the role that he had played in starting her anxiety attack, instantly dropped her legs, forcing Warrick and Catherine, on the other side of the rope, to pick up the slack. _Oh shit! What'd I do? _he screamed at himself. "Sara! It's okay!" he tried to get her attention. "You're okay, Sara!"

"What's going on?" Max shouted, looking up at Sara. "What's wrong with her?" Before he could do or say anything, however, the criminalists were already springing into action… doing just what he would have recommended that they do: trying to talk her down, and to help her reach the ground, without being harmed.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! _Warrick grunted, as he tried his hardest to hold Sara's legs still. "Sara, please, stop moving around! We're not going to hurt you, Sara!" _But we're sure as hell going to drop you, if you don't stop._

But Sara did not hear Nick or Warrick, as she continued to thrash around, still held above everyone's heads. The harder that they tried to grab her in order to steady her, the harder that she fought against them.

"Grissom!" Greg screamed. "I can't keep my hold on her!" _And damn it, my arms are starting to hurt! _he wanted to add, as he felt his arms begin to spasm. Sara was by no means heavy, but he, Grissom, Warrick, and Catherine, were still trying to hold onto her, so that she wouldn't fall to the ground. The problem was that she was now half way between both sides of the rope, and lowering any part of her body would cause her to fall directly onto the spider web itself, possibly entangling her in the ropes.

Grissom let go of Sara's back, moving around to her side. "Sara," he tried to calmly whisper to her, not touching her just yet. "Sara, it's me. Listen to me, honey," he mumbled, no longer caring what his colleagues heard him call her. "I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?"

"No! Please, no, don't!" Sara whimpered, her body now wracked with sobs. _They're going to get me, they're touching me, and they're going to get me! They're not going to stop until they hurt me! _she told herself, her mind no longer present at the ropes course, and lost to a another time, and another place; one that was a whole heck of a lot more horrifying than where she currently was. "I don't want to…"

"Sara," Catherine tried to calm her down. "We're your friends; we're not going to hurt you! We're not going to make you do anything that you don't want to do. But we need you to come back to us," she told her, her hands wrapped firmly around her friend's feet.

As Sara felt Catherine's grip tighten around her feet, she was once again overcome with the sensation of being pinned down, and held against her will. "Don't hurt me, please," she whispered. "I'm not worth your time, I promise…" she trailed off, her eyes starting to lose focus.

"Grissom, I can't hold onto her any more! Nick, Warrick, grab her!" Greg shouted.

"I can't, man," Nick shot back, his face a mix of horror and unease. "I really can't!"

"Warrick?" Greg tried again, as his grip on Sara's shoulders began to loosen. She was just moving around too much for him to maintain a steady grip on her.

Warrick let go of Sara's feet, running around the spider web to Greg's side of the obstacle. "Let's pull her out of there," he told his colleague, frowning, as Sara continued to thrash against their efforts. _C'mon, Sara, you're okay. You have to see that you're going to be okay_, he thought to himself, trying to dodge the violent undulations of her feet.

"Sara, honey, it's Grissom," Grissom tried again, reaching a hand up to her, and gently touching the small of her back. "I need you to calm down for me, honey. Please, listen to my voice," he tried to keep his voice calm and soothing.

But Sara continued to kick against Warrick and Greg, hindering their ability to effectively help her down.

Finally releasing his tentative hold on Sara, Greg swore, before trying to grab her shoulders once more. "Shit!" he screamed, as Sara's bucking body managed to get itself tangled at the very top of the spider web, with a leg wrapped around one hole, her arm around another, and her body half way between both sides. _I'm sorry, Sara! I didn't mean to let go! _he frowned, as the cold sweat from his exertion rolled down his face. _  
_

_She's going to hurt herself; she's really going to hurt herself, if we don't do something about this…and fast!_ "We need to get her out of there now, Grissom," Catherine quickly spoke up. "Before she strangles herself!"

"We definitely need to get her down," Max confirmed. "Try to talk her down, and if you can't, we'll have to cut her down. It's for her own safety."

Grissom nodded, as he again reached a hand up to Sara, barely touching her back.

"Don't touch me…" Sara whispered, still thrashing around, completely unaware of where she was, and what she was doing. "Please, don't," she sobbed in desperation.

_What have I done? _Nick thought to himself, staring up at Sara in panic. _What… happened? I don't… understand! I wasn't going to rape her. She has to know that, right? She has to know that none of us would ever hurt her! _he swallowed in frustration, not realizing that Sara wasn't directing her comments at the team, but rather, at some dark and dismal aspect of her past.

"_Sara_!" Grissom finally shouted at her, firmly pressing his hand against her back in order to get her attention and to let her know that he was there for her. "Listen to my voice, Sara, and feel my hand against you!" he loudly yelled at her over her tears, as Warrick, Greg, and Nick held their arms out in front of themselves, just in case she happened to fall. "Sara, I told you that you we weren't going to let you fall, and we won't! But we need you to stop thrashing around, honey. You need to stop! You're making it very difficult for us to hold onto you!"

_What's going on? _Sara asked herself, trying to return her mind to the present. With the fear still gripping her heart, and the blood still rushing to her ears, Sara whimpered. "G-Grissom…? Grissom?"

"Yes, Sara, I'm here. Please, honey, you have to calm down. Can you take a deep breath for me?"

Although she was still crying, Sara stopped flailing around, trying to breathe for Grissom.

"We're going to grab you, Sara," Grissom continued. "But it's just us: Warrick, Nick, Greg, Catherine, and myself. We're not going to drop you, but we need you to stay still for us. Can you do that, honey?"

Sara slowly nodded her head up and down, as her tears started to subside.

"Catherine, go around to the other side, and grab her legs. Nick and Greg, take her shoulders. Warrick, grab her back, and I'm going to support her entire body," Grissom handed out the orders. "Catherine, I want you to carefully disentangle her one leg from the rope, and then slowly bring both of her legs upward. Sara," he calmly told her. "Honey, your head is going to point down toward the ground for a moment, but we're not going to let you fall." _I hope. _"Do you trust us…?" he quietly asked.

"Y-yes," Sara croaked out, her body still slightly shaking from the after affects of her tears. "I trust you," she whispered.

_Don't let her fall, Greg. She's depending on you. She's terrified, she's helpless, and she's depending on you. Don't you dare screw this up! _Greg warned himself.

Glancing at Nick and Greg, Warrick nodded. _We've got this, man, _he mouthed to Nick. _We can't let her down_, he mouthed to Greg. Both men seemed to get what he was saying, and nodded their understanding right back at him.

"Ready, Sara?" Catherine asked.

"Y-yes," Sara anxiously replied, starting to hiccup.

Catherine hesitantly untangled Sara's leg, before very slowly raising both of her legs upward, toward the sky. Meanwhile, Grissom managed to loosen her arm, basically allowing Greg, Nick, and Warrick to pull her back through the spider web to the activity's original starting side.

"You're almost here, Sara," Grissom calmly announced to her. "Just another minute, and we'll have you down," he tried to reassure her, keeping his voice steady and low-key.

"Okay," Sara whispered, hiccupping again.

"Gentle, gentle," Catherine told the guys, as Sara's body carefully slid back through the hole, toward the activity's original starting point.

"Almost there, Sara," Grissom again said, trying to breathe normally, as Greg, Warrick, and Nick successfully pulled her all of the way through the spider web, gently setting her down feet first on the ground. Immediately wrapping his arms around her frail and shaking body, Grissom tightly held her to her chest, keeping her from falling to her knees.

"I'm so sorry," Sara whispered to Grissom, burying her head against his chest. "I didn't mean to get so scared. I don't know what happened," she told him, as the tears once again wracked her body.

"Shh, Sara, it's okay," he told her, gently rubbing her back. "It's okay…"

"I just," she sniffled. "I felt hands on my body, and I just… started to relive things," she sobbed again.

"I know, Sara. We all know, and it's okay. We understand," Grissom whispered, slowly running his fingers through her hair.

Greg, standing off to the side of the spider web, took a deep breath, trying to steady his own nerves. _I… can't believe that that just happened. I've never… seen that happen to a person before._

Warrick, rubbing the back of his neck, frowned. _Jesus, what the hell really happened to you, Sara? To have that kind of reaction, thirty years after the fact? What the hell did those bastards do to you?_

_I'm sorry, Sara_, Nick again thought to himself. _I honestly didn't mean to scare you_.

"It wasn't your fault, Nick," Catherine quietly told him, as if reading his mind.

Nick guiltily looked up.

"Really. It wasn't your fault," she whispered, so that only he could hear her. "It would have happened had any of us held her. Memories can be powerful things."

Nick slowly nodded his head up and down, finally raising his gaze to look at Sara and Grissom. "I just feel badly."

"We all do, man," Warrick mumbled.

Sara tried to relax in Grissom's arms, still anxiously clutching the loose-ends of his shirt. "I didn't mean to ruin your team-building activity, Grissom," she whispered to him, turning her tear-stained gaze to look up at him.

"You didn't ruin anything, Sara," he kindly replied, gently brushing his fingers against her cheek to wipe away the remainder of her tears. "Because when push came to shove, you trusted us. It's all about the trust."

Slowly nodding, Sara hiccupped, before frowning. "Grissom…?" she whispered.

"Yes, Sara?" he asked, carefully wrapping his arms around her again.

"I… want to try it again. I touched the sides of the spider web, and I broke the rules. I want to try again."

Nick, startled, stood with his mouth hanging agape. "Really…?" he asked.

Sara simply nodded, trying to smile. "I don't know what will happen," she whispered. "But I'd like to try," she trailed off.

"We'll help you through it, Sara," Warrick assured her. _You are such a damn trooper. I'm so proud of you!_

Greg nodded, his enthusiasm once again rekindled. "That's right, Sara. We'll all get through that spider web as a team; as a family." _I knew that there was a really good reason that I looked up to you. You have determination, heart, and soul. I respect you, Sara Sidle._

"Alright, Sara," Catherine nodded. "We're a team, and we stick together." _And I am so proud to have you on my team._

"Let's do this, then," Grissom nodded to each individual criminalist, glancing at their guide. "Ready, Max?"

"Uh… sure!"

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	24. Success!

**A/N: **Aww, I'm so glad that everyone seemed to like the last chapter! That was a tough one to write, because Sara-angst makes me sad! (I had to go and write a fluff fic afterward, just to make myself feel better). But **odeepblue**, thanks for reading! You're always so quick to respond, and it makes me happy! **WitchxHunterxRobin**, thank you for your in-character comment! I struggle with writing for some of the characters, so I'm glad that you think I'm doing okay with it! **The Lovely Desdemona**, I have a camp-fire conversation all planned out in my head, and it was going to go in this chapter, but it no longer fit in… the team-building shall continue, though (oh, and I love all of your comments… not just the suggestions!). **Cherrydrops**, **dark-girl-faith-sidle**, **anneruhland**, and **Lennexa**, thank you so much for your comments! I love getting feedback, that is for sure. **The Swedhis alias fan**, I've thought about writing a children's book before, but not a CSI one. I'm not good enough for that one… but thanks for the vote of confidence… it definitely made my day!

I hope everyone enjoys this!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Success!_

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**Low Ropes Course**

Warrick squinted up at the spider web, his hands on his hips. "Alright, Sara. If you really want to try this again, we'll try it again," he kindly told her, turning around to glance at his colleagues. As his gaze fell upon Greg, he nodded. "Little help, man?" he asked, as he squatted down on his haunches, studying the obstacle before him. Carefully crawling toward the larger of the two bottom holes, Warrick slid both of his hands through the gap, waiting for Greg to once again pick up his legs, effectively allowing him to crawl the rest of the way through the web without touching any of the sides or the bottom. _Piece of cake_, he nodded to himself.

After Warrick was safely on the other side, Catherine sighed. "So… I guess I should go next?" she asked the team, facing Greg, Nick, and Grissom. _I can't say that I'm really thrilled about doing this for a second time, but… that's okay. I'll be fine._

Nick smiled, standing just behind her. "Yup. Ready, guys?"

Greg and Grissom both nodded yes, positioning themselves around Catherine.

"On the count of three. One, two, three," Nick counted, before grabbing a hold of Catherine's legs, while Greg grabbed her shoulders, and Grissom supported her back. _Nice and easy_, he thought to himself.

"Don't drop me, boys," Catherine warned them, as she felt herself slightly tilting in Nick's grasp. _Please don't let me fall_!

"You're fine, Catherine," Nick immediately assured her. "We're not going to let you fall… promise," he added, as the three men moved Catherine's body closer to the edge of the side hole. _Why does everyone keep thinking that I'm going to hurt them? I'm not…_

"Her legs need to come up a little bit, Nick," Warrick instructed him from the other side of the spider web. "She's almost touching the bottom of the hole." _And we're not doing this for a third time, man. I hope not, anyhow!_

Nick nodded his understanding, as he slid his hands further down Catherine's legs, gently lifting her up. "Doing okay, Catherine?"

"Uh-huh," Catherine called out, her eyes closed, and her arms crossed across her chest.

_I don't want it to be my turn,_ Sara mused, preoccupied with her own thoughts, and not really paying attention to Catherine. _I really don't want to go!_

_Nice job with the teamwork, _Grissom thought to himself, glancing around at his CSIs. _I'm proud of all of you,_ he added, as he helped Nick and Warrick continue to move Catherine through the spider web_. Although Sara, you do seem a little bit preoccupied_, he mused, catching a glimpse of her nervous expression.

"Okay, Cath," Warrick spoke up. "Your feet are almost through the hole, so I'm going to grab you. Try not to move a muscle," he added.

Catherine nodded, taking a deep breath. Although she was not about to panic, she still felt a little bit uncomfortable with everyone's hands touching her. _This is awkward; very awkward_, she mused.

"Gotcha," he informed her, as his fingers closed around her ankles, sliding underneath her legs, so that he could help safely pull her through. "Alright, Nicky, a little bit higher," Warrick again instructed him, as he continued to pull Catherine through the rope course. "And Cath, it's okay to bend your legs now, just don't swing them backward," he told her, as he moved his hands up to her hips, trying to more firmly support her.

"Almost through, Catherine," Greg spoke up, as he released her shoulders, and let Nick hand her the rest of the way through the spider web to Warrick. _Hot damn, we're on a roll!_

"And done," Warrick grinned, carefully setting her down on the ground just beside him.

Catherine nodded, rearranging her shirt, and staring through the barrier at Sara, Greg, Nick, and Grissom. "So… who's up next…?"

"I am," Sara whispered, clearing her throat, and walking toward the spider web. "I am," she repeated, as if trying to convince herself of that fact.

"I've get her shoulders," Nick mumbled, refusing to go anywhere near Sara's legs or hips again.

"I'll take her legs," Greg shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me."

"You sure about this, Sara?" Grissom quietly asked her.

Sara simply nodded yes, taking a deep, steadying breath. "You're not going to hurt me. I know that," she whispered, before glancing toward the trees, attempting to calm herself down a little bit more.

"We're not going to hurt you, you're right about that," Grissom told her. "Okay, guys. Count of three. One, two, three," he quickly announced, as Greg grabbed her feet, Nick grabbed her shoulders, and he himself held her hips up.

"Doing okay, Sara?" Catherine asked, carefully watching the other woman's face for any signs of unease.

"Y-yes," Sara replied, swallowing her fear. "I'm okay." _I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay_, she thought to herself, frowning, as she felt a few drops of sweat form on her forehead.

_You're okay, Sara; you're okay, Sara; you're okay_, _Sara_, Nick chanted to himself, his fingers barely holding her up.

"Alright, girl," Warrick called out, as he stepped up to the spider web. "Catherine and I are going to grab your feet in about thirty seconds," he informed her, watching as Greg, Nick, and Grissom struggled to slowly move her toward the hole.

_This would be so much easier if we just went a little bit faster_, Greg scowled. _Although I understand that we can't; she's scared, and she needs time_ _to process what we're doing._

"Okay, Warrick," Sara mumbled. "I'm okay," she told him. Closing her eyes, and again swallowing, Sara took another deep, calming breath. She could feel everyone's hands on her, and she knew that they were trying to be gentle with her; especially Nick. _You're going to drop me_, _though, _she wanted to tell him. "Nick?" she whispered.

"…What?" he nervously asked her. _Am I hurting you? Am I holding you too hard, or in the wrong place?_

"You have to hold me more tightly. Please?" she almost begged him.

"…What?" he asked, confusion written all over his face.

"You're… you're going to drop me, Nick. You're not really holding onto me. Please? Hold me more tightly?" she pleaded with him.

Warrick quickly glanced over at Nick, noticing that his fingers were barely touching Sara's shoulders. She was right; if something happened to Greg or Grissom, she would tumble to the ground. _C'mon, man, you can do it. Get over your fear of hurting her, and just hold her!_

Nick nodded, as his fingers imperceptibly tightened around her shoulders.

Sara frowned. "Please, Nick. I'm okay. You're not going to hurt me… but I don't want to fall! Tighter?" _I can understand your hesitation, but… I don't want to fall!_

Greg glanced at Nick, frowning. _Just hold her, will you?_ he wanted to yell at his friend. _She said she's fine, so just do it!_

"It's okay, Nicky," Catherine assured him. 'She's fine. But we need your help," she tried to encourage the younger man. "We're a team, remember?"

Grissom turned to look at Nick, making eye contact with him. Flashing him a slight nod, he glanced at Nick's hands, waiting to see what he would do.

"Right," Nick frowned. "Okay." _I'm not going to hurt you, Sara. I promise. Please don't scream at me! _Wrapping his hands more firmly around her shoulders, he cringed, waiting for the shrieking to begin.

But the shrieking never began.

"Okay, Sara," Greg spoke up. "Your legs are now directly in front of the spider web, and we're going to begin pushing you through it. Try not to move, okay?" he calmly asked her.

Sara again swallowed, nodding. _I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay_.

"Greg," Catherine got his attention. "Her feet are going to touch the rope again. Lift her legs up higher, if you can." _Sara's not going to like this,_ Catherine thought to herself.

Greg nervously nodded, as he glanced at Sara. "Uh, Sara?" he hesitated. "I have to move my hands to your, uh, you know," he frowned. "So that I can lift you up higher."

_I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay_, she closed her eyes, tuning him out.

"Sara?" Greg cautiously tried again. "Okay? Did you hear me? Can I?"

_I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay… wait, what did he just say? Where does he have to put his hands? My ass? I'm okay, it's just Greg, I'm okay, it's just Greg_. "Okay," she finally squeaked out, swallowing. "Go ahead," she told him, her voice barely audible to her own ears over the sound of her blood rushing through her veins.

Nick squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to breathe. _Don't get scared, _he wanted to tell her. _But don't let go, either, _he screamed at himself, as he realized that he almost let go of her… again.

Greg very carefully slid his hands up Sara's legs, resting them on her behind, as he lifted her up and through the hole. _See? Not gonna hurt you, Sara. I promised, and I never lie! Well, I rarely lie, anyhow._

"Now Catherine and I are going to grab you," Warrick warned her, as he gently placed his hands around her feet, tugging on them. "Stay still, and Catherine and I will pull you through," he advised her.

"Okay," Sara softly answered him.

"Sara?" Grissom quietly asked.

"Wh-what?" she whispered, trying to stay with them all, and not to begin thinking about the past.

"What's going through your mind right now?"

Sara bit her lip, trying to concentrate on the sound of Grissom's voice. "That I'm okay, and that no one is going to hurt me, and that Nick isn't holding me tightly enough," she swallowed.

Nick's head snapped up when he heard his name. "Sorry," he mumbled, grabbing her shoulders more tightly again, surprised when he thought that he felt her body relax against his touch. _Maybe holding her more securely is making her feel more comfortable? _he questioned himself. "You're, uh, you're doing well, Sara," he finally spoke up.

"Yes, you are, Sara," Catherine agreed with Nick, as Warrick brought her legs slightly down, so that she could also reach them. "You're almost there. Just a little bit further."

"'Kay…" Sara whispered, her eyes still screwed tightly shut.

"You're more than half-way through, Sara," Greg smiled. _You're going to make it this time, me thinks!_

"Hey, girl?" Warrick hesitantly asked, clearing his throat. "I'm going to wrap my arms around your lower body, okay? You're so far through the hole right now, that Catherine and I need to further support your body, in order to make sure that you don't get hurt."

Sara nodded, swallowing again. _It's just Warrick, he's not going to hurt you. It's just Warrick, he's not going to hurt you_.

"Here I go, Sara," Warrick again warned her, as he gently wrapped his arms around her lower body. _I've got you, girl, and I'm not going to let anything hurt you._

"Keep breathing, Sara," Grissom calmly told her, when he noticed her body slightly stiffen. And then glancing at Nick, he resisted the urge to tell him the same thing; Nick's face was ashen, and he looked incredibly nervous.

Finally releasing Sara's body, both Greg and Grissom stood back, allowing Nick to continue pushing her the rest of the way through the hole toward Warrick and Catherine's waiting arms.

"Cath, grab her shoulders," Warrick mumbled, the moment that her shoulders crested the obstacle.

_It's just Warrick and Catherine, you're okay. They're not going to hurt you, you're okay._

Moments later, a very shaky Sara was standing on firm ground, trying to catch her breath.

"You okay, girl?" Warrick asked her, holding a tentative hand out toward her arm in order to try to steady her.

Sara swallowed, looking up at him and Catherine. "I'm okay," she told them, as she very hesitantly leaned against Warrick for support. "I'm okay," she repeated to herself, closing her eyes, as she felt Warrick gently wrap his arms around her body.

Warrick uneasily looked over at Grissom, who simply nodded at him. "That's okay," his supervisor mouthed to him. _Because she has to learn that we're all here for her. Not just me._

"Nice job, Sara," Catherine smiled at her, giving her shoulder a gentle pat. "I—no, we—knew that you could do it."

Sara nodded her thanks, just letting Warrick hold her.

"Awesome job, Sara," Greg confirmed, before turning around to look at Nick. "And that goes double for you."

_Me? I didn't do anything_, Nick frowned, slightly confused.

_I'm proud of you, Sara,_ Grissom wanted to tell her. _I really am. You're such a strong woman, and I am such a lucky man to have you in my life._

Nick tried not to chuckle, as he took a deep, calming breath. "She's okay. We're all okay, except… hey!" Everyone turned to look at Nick. "We're not done yet, guys. Grissom, Greg, and I still have to go," he reminded everyone.

Warrick released Sara, glancing over at his colleague. "Well alright then, let's finish this, man!"

And they did, with no other major issues. The rope was never touched, and the criminalists finished their activity twenty minutes later.

---------------

**Campsite**

After having finished the spider web challenge, all of the CSIs decided that they were emotionally drained, and that the rest of the course would have to wait until tomorrow. Max was slightly upset that everyone wanted to give up for the day, but finally acquiesced to their requests, with the understanding that tomorrow, they would try the trust fall and the zip line.

So six very tired, and very sweaty criminalists trudged back to their campsite, eating a quick dinner, before preparing to turn in for the night.

"Yo. Hold up a minute," Warrick suddenly cleared his throat, stopping everyone before they could actually enter their tents for the night. "Before everyone goes to bed, I just want to say that I am damn proud to be a part of this team. Days has nothin' on us," he added, smiling at his colleagues. "Because after today, it is clear to me that we make a damn fine family."

Nick nodded, staring at the ground. _Except for the part where I almost dropped Sara—twice. But… he does have a point_. "I agree," he hesitantly spoke up. "I'm glad that I made the move to Vegas, and that I met all of you."

"Group hug!" Greg announced, grinning from ear-to-ear.

Catherine chuckled. "No thanks, Greg. Maybe when we're all clean, and when we don't smell."

"Like that will ever happen in our line of work," Sara joked.

"But anyhow, good night," Warrick added, before trooping off to his tent.

"Yeah, g'night, everyone," Nick nodded goodbye.

Greg simply grinned, as he jogged over to his tent, immediately crawling inside.

"See you in a bit, Sara," Catherine softly called out, before climbing into their own tent for the evening.

"So…" Grissom trailed off, holding his arms open for Sara.

"So…" Sara repeated, eagerly walking into his embrace.

"You did well, Sara. I'm proud of you," he whispered, gently rubbing her back.

"I didn't think that I'd be able to do it," she admitted to him. "But I _do _trust all of you. I really do. And that helped."

"Well I'm glad that you trust us, honey," Grissom replied. "But get some sleep, okay? And I'll see you in the morning?" he asked, slightly pulling away from her.

"Okay," Sara nodded, leaning up on her tiptoes in order to give him a quick peck on the lips.

Grissom held Sara for a moment longer, before releasing her. "I love you," he very tenderly told her, flashing her a small smile.

Sara immediately froze, staring up at Grissom.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, concern clouding his eyes.

"Wh-what did you just say?" she anxiously asked him.

"I said… 'I love you,'" he repeated his words, frowning. _Do you not… do you not love me?_ he wanted to ask her, swallowing.

"That's the first time that you've ever told me that, Grissom," Sara whispered to him, her lips curling up into a smile.

"Well, I've thought it for awhile now," he simply told her. "So it's my mistake for not saying it any earlier," he added, still gently rubbing her back.

"I was starting to wonder what you really felt about me," Sara admitted, her eyes shining with hope and happiness.

"I'm sorry that I left you guessing for so long, honey," Grissom smiled, pulling her close to his body for another moment. "Because I definitely love you," he informed her, softly pressing his lips to hers.

"And I love you, too," she immediately replied, after slowly ending the kiss.

"But go get some sleep," he finally told her, breaking away. "Tomorrow is going to be another rough day, and I want you to be well-rested for it."

Sara nodded, as she reluctantly turned around, heading toward her tent.

Grissom watched her crawl inside, before moving toward his own tent.

---------------

**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

Once inside the safety of her tent, Sara let out a deep, contented, sigh.

"Are you okay?" Catherine amusedly asked, cracking an eye open to study her friend and colleague.

"Uh-huh," Sara grinned. "Couldn't be better, actually."

"You look… happy," Catherine couldn't help but notice.

"Grissom loves me," Sara smiled from ear-to-ear, feeling her face flush.

"I could have told you that months ago, Sara," Catherine softly chuckled. "But did he finally say the words to you?"

Sara nodded, barely able to contain her enthusiasm. "He loves me," she repeated to Catherine, crawling into her sleeping bag, and scrunching down so that only her head was poking out.

"I know," Catherine laughed. "I'm happy for you."

"He really loves me," Sara again smiled, as she closed her eyes. "Someone really loves me; someone who won't ever hurt me."

_Good for you two_, Catherine grinned, closing her eyes. _You both deserve happiness, and I'm glad that you found it in one another_.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	25. Butterflies

**A/N: The Swedhis alias fan**, thank you so much for your kind comment! We'll see. It's a scary endeavor! **WitchxHunterxRobin**, thank you for your nice words, as well! They made me very happy, and hopefully, this chapter won't disappoint you. **anneruhland**, thank you for reading, and I hope that you like this chapter! **somebody101**, again, I appreciate the in character comment. I struggle with that, and I appreciate you thinking that I'm close to being on target! **Cherrydrops **and **odeepblue**, as always, thank you for your support! **wraiths-angel, **you went to Rome? I'm very jealous (and thanks for reading  )! **dark-girl-faith-sidle**, I'm in a lovey-dovey mood, because, well, you'll see! But thank you for reading! **The Lovely Desdemona**… vacation? Wow… have fun! Hopefully I'll have one or two interesting chapters up for you when you come back. And **Abbeecadabra, **thank you for your kind words and comments. I'm glad that you've enjoyed _The Retreat_ thus far, and I hope that you continue to do so!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. All of the butterfly facts come from www. Thebuterflysite. Com / facts . shtml (without the spaces—I can't get my links to load with spaces!).

**Title: **_Butterflies_

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**High Ropes, the present**

"Whoa!" Greg grinned, once he reached the top of the rope ladder. "This is unbelievable!" he shouted down to his colleagues still on the ground. "I mean, I can see everything! I can see Lake Mead, I can see the mountains, I can see a lot!" he enthused, as he nervously pulled on his harness, making sure that it fit snuggly against his body. _I know, I know. I'm lucky to be going first. I think._

"Well, you're pretty high up there, man," Nick pointed out with a smile, shielding his eyes against the glare of the sun so that he could watch Greg try to traverse the tightrope suspended between the two trees. "But be careful!"

"This _is_ safe, right?" Catherine, still on the ground, anxiously asked Max. "I mean, should he happen to fall, the bungee cord _will _save him?"

"In theory, yes," Max grinned at her.

"In… theory?" Sara whispered, her face suddenly going pale, as she glanced up at Greg. _Don't do it, Greg! It isn't safe, _she wanted to scream at him. _Just climb back down!_

"'In theory?' What the hell does that mean?" Catherine asked him, trying to hide the nervousness in her voice. _Are you saying that you don't know if these cords will actually hold us, in case we slip up there?_

"I was just joking," Max smiled. "You'll be safe, seriously. I promise."

"Damn," Warrick muttered. "After everything that you've observed with us, I would think that you would know better than to joke about our safety."

Grissom just furrowed an eyebrow, not amused.

"Sorry," Max frowned, returning his gaze to Greg. Shrugging, he cupped his hands over his mouth in order to amplify his voice, and took a deep breath. "Go ahead and take that first step, Greg!" he instructed the younger man.

Greg nodded, although he knew that no one on the ground could see him well enough to catch the small gesture. "Okay!" he yelled back, taking a tentative step out onto the tightrope. Sliding his hands along the two guide ropes suspended by his waist, he almost smiled… until he stopped cold. "Holy cow!"

"Greg?" Grissom raised his voice so that he could hear him. "Are you okay up there?"

"Uh-huh! But a whole bunch of butterflies just flew by my head! That was so cool!"

_Butterflies…? _Sara thought to herself, grinning. _Grissom and I went to the butterfly observatory on our second date._

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**Butterfly Exhibit, eleven and a half months ago**

"Are you sure about this, Grissom?" Sara asked, nervously wringing her hands the moment that she saw him standing at her door. "I mean, we don't have to go, if you don't want to." Their relationship was still fairly new, and Sara was having a difficult time understanding the fact that Grissom actually wanted to get to know her better; after six years of pursuing him, she was now in new territory.

"Sara, I want to go," Grissom firmly told her, as she locked her apartment door, and they headed toward his car. "Seriously. You like butterflies, I like butterflies, this will be fun." _I hope. Because right now, I feel as nervous as… no, it's best not to complete that thought._

Holding open the door to his car for her, Grissom tried not to stare. But clad in a light blue shirt and a pair of khakis, Sara was certainly noticeable. _You're absolutely beautiful_, Grissom thought to himself, watching her get into the car, and buckle up. _How have I never noticed you? _Closing the door behind her, he shuffled off to his side of the car, quickly getting in.

_I'm still pretty nervous about this. He really does want to go to the butterfly exhibit with me, right? He's not just saying that? Because I can see him just telling me what I want to hear, so that I feel better about myself_, Sara frowned. Staring out of her window for a moment, however, she slowly shook her head from side to side. _No, actually, that's not true; I can't see Grissom telling me what he thinks I want to hear. He's too straight-forward for that sort of thing… assuming, of course, that he can even determine what it is that I'd like to hear from him._

"Did you know," Grissom's voice drew Sara out of her reverie. "That every winter, the Danaus plexippus migrates from the Great Lakes to the Gulf of Mexico, only to return again once the spring hits? That's something like a two thousand mile flight," he commented, turning his gaze toward her for a moment. _I may not be the youngest criminalist in the lab, or the most athletic, but I can still dazzle you with my brain!_

Sara raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know that, as a matter-of-fact," she flashed him a smile wide enough to show the gap in her teeth. "But did you know that there are around 24,000 different species of butterflies?" _Thank God for the internet! I need to show him how intelligent I really am, although he's seen my work; he knows my capabilities. So why did I spend all of that time last night researching butterflies? I know it had nothing to do with proving myself to Grissom… I don't need to. I guess I just actually like butterflies! And I was nervous, and couldn't sleep._

Grissom stared at Sara for a moment, letting one corner of his mouth slowly pull up into a smile. _Smart and beautiful, although I knew that she was smart; I guess that's not really a surprise. And I should have picked up on the beautiful part much sooner. _"Where'd you learn that?" he asked, before returning his gaze to the road.

Sara shrugged. "I'm an avid reader, Grissom. I must have just picked it up somewhere," she again smiled. _Yeah, like my computer, last night, when I was trying to cram my brain full of butterfly facts. _"I've also heard that some butterflies taste with their feet, so that they can determine whether or not a particular leaf is a good place to lay eggs," she told him. "I'm not entirely sure why the taste of a leaf would matter, but I thought that that was pretty interesting."

"It's because some adult moths don't have mouths," Grissom informed her. "Which means that they live off of whatever energy they managed to store as caterpillars." _I love butterflies. They are some of the most peaceful creatures in the world. I can't wait until we get to the exhibit, so that together, we can explore our mutual interest._

Sara slowly nodded. "Well… that makes sense, I suppose," she mused, trying to hide her frown from Grissom. _That was an obvious oversight! Now he's going to think that you're unenlightened about one of his greatest passions. And you're not! You're just new at admiring butterflies._

Grissom cast a sideways glance at Sara, clearing his throat. "Are you… okay?" he cautiously asked. _Did I just say something wrong? You're not very good at this small talk thing. If you've made her upset twenty minutes into the drive there, how are you going to last the entire day?_

"What?" Sara asked, swallowing. Trying to smile, she looked over at Grissom for a split second. "I'm fine! I was just thinking about… butterflies," she nervously admitted. "How they are so peaceful, and soothing. I'm looking forward to checking out this new exhibit. We should be there at pretty soon, right?" she asked, once again glancing out of her window at the flat expanse of desert surrounding the car.

Grissom nodded. "It's the next exit, actually," he told her, as he began to decelerate the car. "And hopefully, we'll both like this place. I've heard some great things about it, so it should be interesting to see."

Sara simply nodded, watching as Grissom pulled off of the expressway, and made a right toward the town. Ten minutes later, they were safely sitting in the parking lot of the Butterfly Observatory, staring at the large building in front of them. "It's big," Sara commented, squinting up at it, before unbuckling her seatbelt.

"It sure is," Grissom nodded his agreement, as he also unbuckled himself, and carefully climbed out of the car. _My legs feel a little bit stiff. Maybe I AM too old for her,_ he sadly thought to himself, not letting his expression betray his emotions."Shall we go in?"

Sara chuckled. "We shall," she replied, starting to head toward the main entrance.

As they approached the ticket window, Sara started to reach for her wallet, before Grissom stopped her. "This one is on me, Sara," he tilted his head a little bit to the side in order to look at her.

"Are you sure?" Sara quietly asked, swallowing in nervousness. _If he's paying, then this is definitely a date. I'm definitely going on a date with Gil Grissom. What if I screw this up? What if I don't meet his expectations? I should leave right now. I can just hitchhike back to Vegas. I'll just tell him that I have to use the restroom, and then I'll just leave. He won't even notice that I'm gone! Although, he IS a criminalist, so I suppose he's fairly observant about people going missing._

Clearing his throat, Grissom tried to keep his voice calm and steady. "Yes, I'm sure. I'd like to pay, really." Unobtrusively studying Sara's expression, he tried not to frown. _Why do you look so uncomfortable all of a sudden? Did I say something wrong again? Was I not supposed to offer to pay? Warrick and Nick pay for their dates. _And then Grissom's eyes widened in understanding, as it dawned on him. _This isn't a date in your mind, is it? It's just two co-workers getting together to discuss a common interest. Well this is certainly awkward._

Sara broke out in a small smile, wiping her sweaty palms on her pants. "Well… thank you, then," she told him. "I appreciate it."

Grissom simply nodded, as he handed the cashier a fistful of bills in order to pay for their entrance tickets to the observatory. Picking up a glossy red and green colored map from the counter, he handed it to Sara, immediately studying it over her shoulder. _Am I standing too close to her? Maybe I should take a step backward?_

"I don't think we can get lost," Sara suddenly twisted her head to the side in order to look up at Grissom. "It looks like one circuitous path." _Why are you standing so far behind me? _Sara wanted to ask him. _I did take a shower this morning. _"So… should we get started?" she finally asked him with a smile.

Grissom simply nodded, as he walked toward the front door to the actual observatory, holding it open for her.

"Thank you," she smiled, walking past him, and stopping as a wave of heat instantly hit her face. "Why is it so warm in here?" she asked him, knowing that he would know the answer.

"Butterflies actually like more humid climates," Grissom replied. "In fact, butterflies can't fly, if their internal body temperatures are lower than eighty-six degrees. So the warmer the climate," he shrugged.

"The warmer their bodies are," Sara completed his thought for him, glancing up at the domed observatory. Looking around the spacious room, Sara was excited to see that the butterflies had a lot of flying and living room. The room itself was supposed to be the length of two foot ball fields, while the ceiling was set three stories above their heads. In addition to the sheer size of the facility, the room contained large plants, trees, man-made ponds, and other nesting locations, so that the tiny inhabitants had the freedom to do as they pleased. _Freedom to choose is always a good thing. I just wish that I could focus more on the butterflies, and less on Grissom._

"Exactly," Grissom glanced at her, raising an eyebrow.

"This place is nice," Sara mused, as she began to walk down the path just to her right. "It smells warm, but for all intents and purposes, there are a _lot _of butterflies here," she whispered, almost as if she was afraid to disturb the flying insects.

Grissom nodded, completely enthralled by the Monarchs that were flitting around him and Sara. "Look," he pointed to a tropical tree. "Do you see what I see?"

Sara squinted, trying to find something peculiar about the tree. "Not… really," she hesitated. "I just see a bunch of buds on the branches."

"Those aren't buds, Sara," Grissom grinned, taking another step forward. "They are little tiny butterflies," he enthusiastically added, before swinging his arm outward in excitement, and accidentally brushing his fingers against Sara's hand. Freezing in place, Grissom swallowed, unsure of what to do with his hand's minor betrayal. _I didn't mean to do that! I'm sorry! _he wanted to tell her, although truth be told, he rather enjoyed the slight contact.

Sara bit the inside of her lip, resisting the urge to look over at Grissom. _You can just hold my hand, you know. I won't hurt you, Grissom,_ she thought to herself, as she flexed her right pinky finger in his general direction, so that it "accidentally" touched his hand.

Grissom cleared his voice, calmly pointing out another tree. "And see the butterflies over there?" he asked Sara, as the pinky on his left hand twitched toward her. "All of the butterflies are just resting," he added, as he felt his finger momentarily brush against her finger.

"Yeah, I see that," Sara whispered, trying her hardest to pay attention to the butterflies. Starting to walk down the path again, she swallowed in nervousness, as her right hand gently swung by her side, every once in awhile grazing Grissom's hand. "They're very beautiful," she mumbled.

"Yes, they are," he replied, as they walked side by side, and shoulder to shoulder, down the path. Grissom again cleared his throat, as his hand swung toward her hand, stopping, just as both hands touched one another.

_Just hold my hand! _Sara wanted to shout at him, before just deciding to take the plunge, and doing it herself. Quietly slipping her hand into his, she stopped, waiting to see what his reaction would be.

"So… should we check out the butterflies by the pond?" he finally asked her with a slight smile, gently holding her hand in his, and continuing to walk. _This just feels so natural. I mean, aside from the sweatiness of my palms right now, this is really enjoyable!_

And to Sara, a very seasoned criminalist, the smile and the sweaty palms were very good signs. They meant that although she and Grissom were both excited and nervous about being out on a date together, they were not going to let their uneasiness get in the way of whatever it was that they were trying to build with one another.

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**High Ropes, the present**

"Hey, girl, you're up," Warrick grinned at Sara, raising an eyebrow as he noticed her dazed expression. "But you look like you're a million miles away right now. Are you okay? What's goin' on?"

Grissom just carefully studied Sara, wondering if she had been thinking about the same thing that he had been thinking about: the butterfly observatory.

"I'm okay," Sara returned his smile, sparing a quick glance at Grissom. "Very okay, as a matter-of-fact. I'm assuming that Greg made it safely across?"

"Damn straight," Warrick chuckled.

"Hell, yeah!" Greg shouted, hearing her question. "That was amazing, Sara! You're going to love it!"

"I think that Greggo might actually be right for once," Nick laughed, slapping the young CSI on the back. "You'll love it. Just take some time while you're up there to look around!"

"Uh, no," Sara replied. _Looking down would probably be a bad idea. And why am I going second again? I don't know, and I don't like this idea._

Catherine just chuckled, as she picked up a harness and handed it over to Sara. "Go show these boys how it's done, Sara!"

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	26. The Plunge

**A/N: The Swedhis alias fan**, thank you for your comments (both of them, actually!). **somebody101, **there will definitely be a scene between Nick and Sara coming up. It's already written, and will probably appear in either the next chapter, or the one after that. You're right, though: the poor guy needs some closure! Thanks for reading! **wraiths-angel**, did you see this one coming? You'll have to let me know. I didn't expect this to happen, until the words just appeared on my computer screen. Hope you like it! **Cherrydrops12**, as always, thank you for reading! **odeepblue**, that goes for you, as well. I appreciate how you always take the time to reply. **Catnip**, keep reading (or I'll call you, and just tell you the ending!). **anneruhland**, Grissom and Sara do need to relax, don't they? We'll see what happens on date number three. I actually can't wait to see what happens with Sara during the next season. Whenever I think about her, I think about someone with a lot of pent up emotion who needs some release. And coming from a person who used to work with people who have extreme emotional and behavioral disorders, some of these activities can really force you to come to terms with yourself… and not always in pleasant ways. We'll see what happens next! Again, thank you to everyone who reviewed, and I'll try not to take forever to write the next chapter. They're just taking more time now!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_The Plunge_

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**High Ropes **

"You got this, Sara," Nick called up to her, cupping his hands over his mouth in order to amplify his voice. "Just climb a little bit higher, and then you'll be at the top!"

"I can do this!" Sara yelled back to her friends on the ground, glancing at the next rung of the rope ladder located just above her head. "I can definitely do this," she whispered to herself, closing her eyes for a moment in order to center herself. "I'm strong, I'm capable, I can do this," she swallowed, reaching one hand up, clutching the rope, and then willing her other hand to joinher first one. Taking another step upwards, Sara slowly let out the breath of air that she had been holding, before slowly climbing upwards.

"Just a couple of more steps up, Sara, and you'll have it!" Warrick tried to encourage her. "C'mon, girl, you can do this!"

"I _can _do this," Sara assured herself. "I can, and I will, and I'm not going to fall." Taking another hesitant step upwards, Sara smiled, as she felt her fingers close around the edge of the small wooden plank, signifying her arrival at the top of the ladder. "I made it to the top!" she shouted, as her feet took another step upward, and she moved her hands further onto the wooden board. "I really made it to the top!" Grunting with the effort of pulling herself up and over the edge of the platform, Sara took another deep breath, calming her racing nerves.

"Nice job, Sara!" Catherine told her, shielding her eyes against the incessant glare from the sun. "Now go show these boys how it's done!"

"I believe I already showed everyone how it was done, though, Cath," Greg reminded her, his eyes reflecting his good humor.

"Can it, Greg," Catherine teased him, before returning her attention to Sara, who looked to be about ready to start moving forward.

Grissom carefully watched Sara, silently praying that she would be able to make it across the tightrope without incident. He remembered how she reacted to rappelling last year, and knew that heights tended to make her slightly nervous.

Closing her eyes for one more brief moment, Sara took a deep breath, before opening her eyes, and tightly gripping both guide ropes. "Don't look down," she reminded herself, slowly shuffling her right foot forward. "You can do this, Sara; you really can. I… I have faith in you," she whispered. Furrowing her eyebrow in thought, Sara hesitated. _That's the first time that you ever admitted to believing in yourself. Interesting!_

On the ground, the criminalists all stared up at Sara, anxiously watching her trying to cross the obstacle. "C'mon, girl," Warrick whispered under his breath. "C'mon, I know you have it in you to get across that thing. Show it who's the damn boss."

"Don't worry about her, guys," Greg spoke up. "She'll get across. I have no doubt in my mind about that."

"But will she get across without panicking?" Nick quietly asked his colleagues.

"She'll be fine," Grissom replied, hoping to convince himself of that fact.

Swallowing, Sara shuffled her left foot forward, so that it was resting just behind her right foot. "Just walk, Sara; it's not that big of deal. Just walk," she whispered, as she very carefully picked her left foot up, slowly stepping around her right foot. "The rope is swinging!" she tried to tell everyone.

"It's going to sway in the breeze, Sara, not to mention with your body weight on it," Catherine informed her, yelling back. "But just take your time. We're not in any rush!" she added.

Sara nodded, as she waited for the rope to stop moving. "Well this is slightly unnerving," she muttered to herself, staring down at her feet for a moment. "Oh, shit!" she hissed, noticing the ground far below her. "That's a long way down!"

"Did she just look down?" Greg asked the group. "Because I think she just looked down, and now she looks nervous," he noted.

"Sar?" Nick called up to her. "You're doing great, Sar! Just keep walking!"

Sara nodded, as she tore her gaze away from the ground, once again looking ahead of herself. "Okay, Sidle. You're about a quarter of the way there. Take another step, right now. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot," she ordered herself, taking one minute step after another. "You're almost there," she informed herself, as she swallowed, recalculating the distance to the end of the rope. "You're half way there now; you're doing well," she muttered to herself, cringing, as she felt drops of nervous sweat drip into her eyes. Rapidly blinking to get the moisture out of the way, she sighed, trying to catch her breath.

"Hang in there, Sara!" Warrick tried to encourage her, his hands resting on his hips. "You're half way there!"

"Keep it up, Sara!" Catherine added.

Sara again nodded, shuffling another couple of steps forward. "I can do this!" she grinned to herself in excitement, after realizing that she was moving along fairly well. "I'm almost there! I can really do this!"

"She's definitely going to make it," Greg pointed out. "See? I told you all so!" he smiled, proudly watching Sara up above him.

Grissom gave a small nod, as he watched Sara complete two-thirds of the obstacle. _Just a couple of more steps, honey, and you'll be done. See what you can accomplish, when you put your mind to it? _

Sara took another couple of quick steps forward, silently cheering to herself, when she was close enough to the second wooden platform to just step onto it. After catching her breath, Sara let out one more shaky sigh, before staring at the ground. "That was actually kind of fun!" she chuckled. "And I did it... the first time through!"

"Hot damn, Sara!" Warrick congratulated her.

"I knew you could show the boys how to do it!" Catherine smiled, watching as Sara slowly started her descent from the platform.

"Awesome job, Sara," Greg added his own congratulations. "I never doubted you for a moment!"

Once Sara's feet touched the ground, she glanced over at her friends and colleagues. "Thanks, everyone," she nodded at each of them, her eyes dancing in excitement. "That was… that was absolutely amazing!"

"I'm sure it was, Sar. And like Catherine said, you showed us how it was done," Nick grinned at her.

"Thanks, Nick," Sara smiled. "I really appreciate you saying that!"

"Hey!" Greg frowned. "I believe _I _showed you how it was done, first!"

Nick just chuckled, slapping the younger man on the back. Moving away from Greg, he then sighed, glancing in Sara's general direction.

"Is everything okay?" Sara quietly asked him, catching his gaze, and walking over toward him.

"Yeah," Nick hesitantly replied, running a nervous hand through his hair, watching her, as she unbuckled her harness. "But I was wondering, Sara," he cleared his throat. Leaning in toward her so that only she could hear what he had to say, he frowned. "Can we… can we talk later, though? Alone?"

Sara furrowed her eyebrow in confusion, although she shrugged her shoulders in the affirmative. "Sure, Nick. But is everything okay?"

Nick slowly nodded yes. "I just want to talk… if that's okay with you?"

"Of course," Sara smiled, finally removing the harness, and holding it up in front of her.

"Warrick?" Grissom then cleared his throat, eyeing Nick and Sara. "You're up!"

Warrick simply nodded, as he walked toward Sara, grabbing the harness from her. "Hey, girl?" he hesitated for a brief moment. "So, it's really not that bad up there, right?" he nervously asked her, carefully studying the rope obstacle course suspended high above them all.

"No, it really isn't," Sara again smiled. "And like Max was saying earlier, we're attached to a bungee cord. So if something should actually happen to any one of us while we're up there, no one has to worry about getting hurt."

Warrick nodded, as he gingerly slid the harness over his shoulders, letting Max securely buckle him in. "Alright," he finally announced, furrowing his eyebrows. "It's high up there, but I can do this," he added, as he slowly swaggered toward the rope ladder, which was attached to a tree.

"Okay, man," Nick clapped his hands, before once again shielding his eyes against the glare of the sun so that he could watch Warrick climb upwards. "When you get up there, just take it one step at a time."

Warrick frowned, as he tipped his head toward the sky, gazing up at the wooden platform. "That's really not all that high," he mumbled to himself, as he put one hand above the other, easily hoisting himself up the entire length of the tree. "No, this definitely won't be all that bad… and then I'll be done, and back on the ground, before anyone can even have the chance to miss me."

"Alright, Warrick!" Greg cheered him on, breaking him out of his reverie. "And hey, while you're up there, don't forget to look down!" he joked.

"Uh-huh, right, Greggo," Warrick grumbled, nodding to himself when he finally reached the wooden plank. "Alright, let's do this," he sighed, before slowly sliding a foot out onto the rope, as if testing its strength.

"You can do this, man!" Nick yelled to him from below.

Sara, still smiling in triumph, watched Warrick as he took another tentative step forward. "So far so good!" she told him.

"Uh-huh," Warrick again whispered, anxiously staring straight ahead of himself, and sliding his right foot forward another inch. Carefully setting his foot down, he took a deep breath, before picking up his left foot, and immediately trying to place it ahead of his right foot. "Shit!" he hissed, as he missed his intended target, his foot falling below the rope. Carefully picking it back up again, he struggled to steady himself, as the rope gently swayed beneath him. _I want solid ground. Now!_

"Holy shit," Greg whispered, watching Warrick up above him. "Did he just miss the rope?"

"I believe so," Nick replied. "But that's okay; he'll be fine." _I hope; because if he's struggling with this activity, than I'm going to struggle, as well._

Sara glanced up at Warrick, studiously watching his progress. "It was just a minor misstep," she informed everyone. Cupping her hands over her mouth so that she could be heard over the slight rustling of the trees, she shouted up to him. "Come on, Warrick. You're a quarter of a way there! You can do it!"

"Damn it," Warrick muttered under his breath, as he took another wobbly step forward, his forearms shaking as he tried to grip the guide ropes for support. "This thing is more unstable the closer that I get to the center," he observed. And then moments later, "Shit!"

Catherine gasped, as she watched Warrick swaying back and forth on the rope. "What the hell is going on up there?" she asked no one in particular.

"The rope is less taut in the center," Greg quietly answered her question. "So the closer that you get to it—" he trailed off.

"The more that it shakes," Sara concluded his statement for him.

Warrick's foot once again slipped, almost sending him careening off of the rope obstacle course. After steadying himself, he stopped, took a deep breath in order to calm his nerves, and then tightly shut his eyes, in the vain attempt to keep the sweat from blurring his vision. "I really wish that I could just wipe the sweat from my forehead," he frowned. "But I can't do that; if I wipe my forehead, I'll have to let go of one of the ropes. So ain't that a bitch? Because there is no way in _hell_ that I am going to let go," he grumbled to himself.

Grissom rubbed his beard, ignoring the conversation taking place around him, and stared up at Warrick. _I can't believe that you're having this hard of a time. _"Take some deep breaths, Warrick, and then continue," he called up to him. "I know that you can do this!"

"I know that I can do this, too!" Warrick shouted back, once again closing his eyes for a brief moment in order to collect his thoughts. Taking several deep breaths, and trying to wipe his sweaty forehead against his shirt sleeve, Warrick again cautiously shifted his weight forward, safely taking two more miniscule steps. "Okay, half way there, Warrick. You've got this," he muttered to himself, as he hesitantly took another step forward. And another one. And another one.

On the fourth step, Warrick's left foot once again entirely missed the rope, causing his forearms to uncontrollably shake, as he tried to steady himself. "_Damn it!" _he cursed aloud. "Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!"

On the ground, Catherine held back another loud gasp, as her eyes riveted themselves to the rope swaying high above the ground. "He's going to fall," she whispered to Sara.

"No he won't," Sara assured her. "This is Warrick that we're talking about here. He'll be fine. He's more than half way across the obstacle right now."

"True," Nick mused, quietly watching Warrick on the rope. "But that thing is _really _shaking," he pointed out. A bit more loudly, he added, "Take a deep breath, man, and just start to walk! Walk normally!"

"That's easy for you to say, Nicky!" Warrick shouted back, as he closed his eyes. "Stop shaking, right now," he ordered his limbs, as he tried to loosen his death grip on the guide ropes. "Relax your body, take a deep breath, and just go. You're making this harder than it really has to be."

"Warrick, focus," Grissom instructed him. "Focus on getting across, and your body will obey you!"

Warrick nodded, as he shuffled his body another couple of inches forward, freezing, as he felt the rope sway even more dangerously beneath him.

"Max?" Greg spoke up. "Is it supposed to be shaking that much?" he nervously asked the guide.

"The rope is shaking, because Warrick is shaking," Max informed him. "Just as soon as he calms down, the rope will stop moving."

"Well, what if he doesn't calm down?" Catherine hesitantly asked.

"Then he'll fall," Max simply replied. "I mean, the bungee cord will grab him, but he'll fall, none-the-less."

Sara gazed up at Warrick, biting her tongue for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she sighed. "Warrick, I know that you're nervous," she loudly started to tell him. "But you can get across this rope; I know that you can get across this rope."

Warrick nodded, as Sara's voice seemed to calm him down a little bit. Taking a deep breath, he took another step forward, swearing, as his foot once again slid off of the rope. "Damn it!" he cursed, as he tried to steady his swaying body. "Come on, Warrick! You need to stop this shit!" But it was too late; this time, the force of Warrick's foot slipping off of the rope was enough to make him lose his balance, forcing his body to hurl forward. Helpless to do anything to stop himself, Warrick let out another long string of expletives, as he felt his body plunge off of the rope, and toward the ground below him.

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	27. The Conversation

**A/N: Jenny70529**, seriously, thank you so much for your comment! I appreciate knowing that you like it, and you know what?… I feel bad for Warrick, too! **The Swedhis alias fan**, I love cliff hangers, don't you? Hehe. But here's your conversation. Enjoy! **odeepblue**, Sara's on a roll, I think! Hopefully she'll continue being strong! **somebody101, **thank you for your comment, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! **The Lovely Desdemona**, you've helped with the migration before? That's cool! My local museum just opened up a living monarch conservatory. I can't wait to go stand in the middle of a room, while butterflies land on my head! **Cherrdrops12**, thank you for still following along with this story, and for taking the time to comment! **wraiths-angel**, thank you to you, as well, for taking the time to read and comment! And **Catnip**, I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story. Happy reading, everyone!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_The Conversation_

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**High Ropes **

"Shit!" Warrick screamed, as he dizzily watched the ground approach his head. "Shit!" he repeated, tightly closing his eyes.

Down below, Sara gasped, as her mind tried to process what her eyes were telling her was actually taking place. _Did he fall? Did he really just fall?_

"What the hell!" Nick yelled, his eyes widening, when he observed Warrick slip from the rope. _How could this have happened?_

"Oh, my God," Catherine added, moving toward the obstacle course, although she realized that there was nothing that she would be able to do in order to help Warrick.

Grissom just calmly took in the entire scene, his hands hanging loosely by his sides.

"Damn," Warrick muttered under his breath, as his body twisted from side to side in the air, still fighting with gravity. "Well ain't that a bitch," he frowned, as he hung upside down, suspended from the tightrope.

"Well at least we know that the safety cords work," Greg brightly pointed out, looking up at Warrick with a smile. _Although I can't believe that Sara made it across, and you didn't._

Catherine rolled her eyes at Greg, before glancing up at Warrick. "You okay?" she questioned him.

"I'm fine," he sighed. "I think my pride is more wounded than my body, at this point," he added, still gently swaying from side to side.

"Stuff happens, man," Nick told him, trying not to think about the fact that Warrick—strong, cool, calm, and collected Warrick—just plummeted to the ground. _Because if he struggled with this, I know that I will, too_, he thought to himself.

"Yeah, Nicky. Enjoy this thing, okay? It's great," Warrick dryly mumbled to his friend, as Max started to lower him the rest of the way down to the ground.

"So you're going to go try again, though, right?" Sara immediately asked him, once he was standing on his own two feet.

Warrick slowly shook his head from side to side, staring at the ground. "Not right now, girl. My legs are too shaky. And so are my arms."

Sara pursed her lips, staring at Warrick. "Would you let me quit?" she calmly asked him, unwaveringly.

"What?" Warrick asked, raising his gaze to meet hers.

"Would you let me quit?" Sara repeated her question, as if challenging him.

Nick stared at Sara, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "She's got a point, man," he chuckled.

Warrick ran a hand through his hair, looking upward at the rope. "But I'm shaky, Sara," he pointed out. "Really shaky."

"I understand that," Sara quietly stated. "But would you let me quit, if our roles were reversed?" She continued to prod him.

"No," Warrick let out a heavy sigh. "No, I wouldn't."

"So then you should think about getting back up there," Sara swallowed, not giving up.

"Yeah, man," Nick agreed. "You should get back up there, and try again."

"We're in no rush, Warrick," Catherine pointed out. "We have all day."

Warrick blinked, staring at the ground for a moment in order to collect his thoughts. "Okay," he acquiesced. "Okay, I'll try it again."

"Who's the man?" Greg asked, grinning. "You da man," he immediately answered his own question, causing everyone around him to chuckle.

"Just take it slow and steady, Warrick," Grissom advised him. "Slow and steady wins the race."

"I know," Warrick conceded, swaggering toward the rope ladder. "I got this," he told himself, quickly climbing back up to the platform.

"C'mon, Warrick!" Greg cheered him on, loudly clapping. "You got this!"

"You got this, man!" Nick added, once again shielding his eyes against the glare from the sun.

Sara and Catherine just quietly watched Warrick, waiting to see what he would do.

"I got this," Warrick repeated to himself, taking a tentative step out onto the rope. "I got this," he continued to mumbled, sliding his hands along the guide rails, and taking another step forward. "Damn, I'm sweating!" he yelled down to his friends on the ground.

"We know!" Greg called back. "We're catching the drops!"

Warrick grinned, holding back a chuckle. "Don't laugh, it'll shake the rope," he ordered himself, sliding his hands and feet forward another couple of steps. Staring straight ahead of himself, Warrick frowned, shuffling a little bit further onto the tightrope. "It's starting to shake!" he announced to everyone still on the ground.

"Just take tiny steps, Warrick," Sara calmly called up to him. "It's going to shake more and more, as you near the center. But you're doing fine!" she tried to encourage him.

Warrick didn't bother nodding or responding to Sara, as he very carefully lifted one arm off of the rope, in order to wipe the sweat out of his eyes. "Damn," he whispered, staring down at the ground.

"Keep going, man!" Nick yelled up to him.

Warrick remained silent, as he neared the center of the rope, and immediately kept shuffling forward. "I'm going to get through this," he informed himself, once again stopping, in order to wipe the sweat from his eyes.

"He's going to make it," Greg whispered to Sara, who merely continued to watch Warrick's progress.

"I'm going to make it!" Warrick said more loudly, as he shuffled another couple of inches forward, nearing the three-quarters mark. "Hot damn, I'm going to make it!"

Catherine grinned, as she watched Warrick continue to conquer the obstacle. "Come on, Warrick!" she cheered him on. "You can do it!"

Warrick grinned, as he held one hand out in front of himself, reaching for the wooden platform. "One more step, c'mon, just one more step!" he muttered, taking a deep breath, and very carefully shuffling forward. "I did it!" he screamed in triumph, as his fingers slid to the very end of the guide rope, enabling him to hoist himself onto the platform. "Damn, I did it!"

"Alright, Warrick!" Sara called out.

"Congrats, man!" Nick grinned.

"I knew you could do it, Warrick," Catherine told him, watching him, as he slowly made his decent back to the ground.

"Dude, you rock!" Greg smiled.

"You just had to trust yourself, Warrick. But I'm proud of you," Grissom quietly told him, as he strolled over to his friends and colleagues. "I really am."

"Thanks, guys," Warrick smiled at everyone, using his shoulder to wipe the remaining sweat off of his forehead. "But _damn_ that was hard!"

"Uh-huh," Greg agreed. "It was! But you did it!"

"I sure did," came Warrick's excited replied.

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**On the trail back to the campsite**

"I can't believe that everyone got through the obstacle on the first try, except for me," Warrick quietly told Nick, as they walked side by side back to their campsite, behind Grissom, Greg, Sara, and Catherine.

"It's okay, man," Nick smiled, turning to look at him. "Like I told you before, though, stuff happens."

"I know, but I should have been able to do it!"

"… Why?" Nick prompted him.

Warrick shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "Because I just should have been able to."

"You don't have to be the best at everything, Rick," Nick reminded him. "You're not Superman or anything."

"I know," Warrick agreed with him. "But that was pretty embarrassing."

Nick chuckled, before quickly sobering up. "I'm not laughing at you, don't worry, man," he told Warrick. "But…" he hesitated for a moment. "Falling wasn't embarrassing. What _would _have been embarrassing, though, would have been you giving up on the spot."

Warrick nodded, mulling that over in his mind. "Thanks, Nicky," he finally conceded. "You're right. I would have failed, had I not tried again."

"Yup," Nick smiled, once again facing forward.

"Hey, Grissom?" Greg spoke up.

"What?" Grissom asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What's for dinner?" Greg asked, grinning. "I'm hungry!"

"What else is new?" Catherine chuckled, glancing at Sara.

Sara just smiled, observing the scenery around them, as they returned to camp.

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**Much later that night**

"Are you okay, Sara?" Catherine tiredly asked, rolling over in her sleeping bag, and cracking an eye open to study Sara's expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sara tried to assure her. "Just a little bit restless. I'm going to go sit outside by the fire pit for a little while; perhaps even go for a walk."

Catherine shook her head no, frowning at her friend. "Lake Mead has a lot of wild animals," she reminded her. "Night time is _their _time to explore the park. I wouldn't leave the campsite," she advised.

Sara sighed, before nodding her head in agreement. "You're right," she mumbled. "In that case, I'll just be sitting by the campfire."

"Okay. Just be careful," Catherine yawned, once again closing her eyes, and drifting off to sleep.

_I will, but… I really need some fresh air_, Sara thought to herself, crawling toward the door, and unzipping the tent flap. Cautiously poking her head outside, Sara gave a snort of surprise, as her eyes fell upon another person already seated around the fire pit. "Hi, Nick," she quietly greeted her co-worker, before crawling the rest of the way out of the tent. And then a bit more excitedly, "You made a fire? Excellent!"

"Hey, Sara," he smiled, nodding in her direction. "Yeah, I made a fire. But what are you still doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," Sara shrugged. "I guess today was a little bit too exciting for me," she confided in him, sitting down on one of the logs facing him.

Nick nodded his understanding, clearing his throat. "Yeah… I'm sorry about that, by the way."

"Don't be," Sara immediately replied. "You did nothing wrong." Clasping her hands in her lap, Sara closed her eyes, letting the cool night air brush against her face. After a moment, she cleared her throat. "Nick, do you ever regret becoming a criminalist?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

Nick slowly raised his gaze to Sara's face, before realizing that she wasn't even looking at him. "Why… do you ask?" he wanted to know. _Sometimes I regret it; especially when inexplicably bad things seem to keep happening to myself and my friends._

Sara wrapped her arms tightly around herself, swallowing. "I don't know. It just seems like in the past six years, we've all had to endure a lot. I mean," she sighed. "Holly died; You had a gun pulled on you twice, you were thrown out a window, you were stalked, you were kidnapped and buried alive; I've been bait for a rapist, I've been attacked, I've been spit on, I've been lied to; Jim's been shot; Catherine has… well, the list just goes on and on, you know? There's really no use rehashing everything, I suppose." _But thinking back on the past six years, we've had one disaster right after another._

Nick frowned, staring at the ground. _Rehashing it? But you just brought it all back up again. Why did you have to do that? _"Well," he mumbled rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't necessarily regret becoming a CSI, but sometimes I wonder how we can all continue to do our jobs. I mean, let's face it, Sar: we have dangerous jobs. Most people only read about violent crimes in the newspapers, or hear about them on television. We actually have to get into the minds of the killers, in order to solve the crimes. That's not an easy thing to do, and sometimes… it just plain sucks," he concluded.

"Yeah, it does," Sara admitted, staring into the depths of the fire, letting the small flames calm her slightly frayed nerves down. "I've thought about quitting before, too; going back to California, picking up a surf board, and maybe just opening up a bed and breakfast."

Nick nodded, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a smile. "That actually sounds kind of nice," he told her. "Quiet; peaceful. I've actually considered returning to Texas," he confided in her, once again looking up at her.

"Really?" _Well that's pretty surprising_, Sara thought, her eyes widening in shock "What would you do there?" she asked, turning to glance at him.

"I don't know," Nick shrugged. "Go to law school, be a cowboy, or even nothing," he frowned, holding his hands up to the flames for a minute, in the hopes of warming himself up.

"A cowboy?" Sara asked, raising an eyebrow, and chuckling.

"Do you have a problem with cowboys, Sara?" he grinned.

"Uh… no, but…"

"But nothing," Nick smiled. "But it's just a thought. I don't think that I'll ever leave Vegas," he immediately sobered up.

"Me, either," Sara replied, glancing at the fire. "It's my home now. I may not always like the job, but… I definitely like the people that I've met in Vegas."

Nick stared at the ground, suddenly frowning.

"Are you okay?" Sara cautiously asked him. "You look a little bit unhappy." _Did I just say something wrong? Do you not like working with all of us?_

"Yeah," Nick hesitated. "I was just thinking about something. There was a time, you know, when I—" he started to say, before jumping, as he heard rustling coming from inside of the tent that Greg and Grissom shared.

"There was time when you what?" Sara prompted him, ignoring the noise coming from the tent.

"There was a time when I wanted—" Nick again started to say, his frown deepening, as he heard the zipper of the tent flap being pulled down.

Sara stared at the tent, raising an eyebrow.

"Hi, guys!" Greg whispered, poking his head out of the tent.

"Hey, Greg," Sara smiled at him, waiting for him to join her and Nick by the fire pit.

"Hey, Greggo," Nick dejectedly mumbled, staring at the ground. _Thanks, man. I was just about to bare my heart and soul._

"Whatcha all doin' out here?" Greg whispered, sitting down on the log next to Sara's log.

"Just talking," Sara informed him. "What were you going to say, Nick?" she quizzically asked, returning her gaze to him.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. _I was just going to say that there was a time, before you and Grissom found each other, when I had feelings for you_. _And now I just want you to know how I feel, so that I no longer feel so awkward around you._ "Uh…" he hesitated. "I was just going to say that there was a time when I… really wanted to be a lawyer," he quickly finished up, unable to hide his frown.

"Ah," Sara replied, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure that you weren't going to say something else?" _Because I really don't think that that is what you were going to tell me._

"Yup, I'm sure," Nick smiled, attempting to reassure her.

"So are you going to go to law school, Nick?" Greg eagerly asked him. "That'd be cool, if you were planning on it."

Nick slowly shook his head no. "No, man, I'm happy being a criminalist. Although we have a lot of crime in Vegas, I still love my job."

Greg nodded, glancing over at Sara. "And you're not planning on leaving the city any time soon, right?" he grinned.

Sara softly chuckled. "No, Greg. I'm going to be in Vegas for a very long time," she added, before yawning. "But if you boys will excuse me now, I think that it's time for me to actually go to bed."

"Okay, goodnight, Sara!" Greg cheerfully said.

"'Night, Sar," Nick added, trying not to sound so unhappy.

"Goodnight," Sara told them both, frowning at Nick's expression. _Something's definitely not right with him_. "Hey, Nick?" she softly called out, standing up, and stretching.

"What?" Nick replied, removing his gaze from the fire, and refocusing his attention on Sara's face.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" she asked, waving him toward her with one of her fingers.

Nick simply nodded, standing up, and slowly moving toward Sara. "What's up, Sar?" he whispered, walking a short distance away from Greg.

"I'm not mad at you, you know," she informed him.

Nick blinked, looking over at her. "Okay."

"I mean, I'm not mad about earlier. In fact," Sara continued, clearing her throat. "I'm really sorry about what happened, Nick; I'm sorry that I reacted to you in the manner that I did, during the ropes course. I know that you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. You're one of my best friends. Hell, you're like a brother to me," she smiled at him, hesitantly reaching toward him, in order to wrap her arms around his body.

Nick softly chuckled, gingerly wrapping his arms around Sara, and loosely hugging her to himself. _Like a brother? Fantastic; that's just what I wanted to hear! _"Okay, well, as long as you really know that I would never hurt you, Sar."

"I do, Nick," she quietly told him, pulling away from the embrace. "I'm lucky to have you as a friend; you would never do anything to hurt me, and I know that."

Nick nodded, finally removing his arms from around Sara, and glancing over at her tent. "So… goodnight for now, then?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to smile.

"Goodnight, Nick," Sara grinned, turning around, and unzipping the tent flap. Once inside, she turned around to re-zipper the flap, catching a quick glimpse of Nick's slightly pained expression, before he turned back toward the camp fire. "What's going on with you?" Sara whispered into the darkness, sighing.

"With whom?" Catherine immediately asked, causing Sara to jump.

"God," Sara whispered. "I'm sorry, Cath; I didn't mean to wake you up!"

Catherine chuckled. "It's fine. What's going on, though?"

Sara quietly climbed into her sleeping bag, frowning. "Something's up with Nick. I thought that he might be upset about what happened earlier, but that isn't the problem," Sara admitted.

"No, that isn't the problem," Catherine confirmed, turning on her side to glance at the other woman.

"You know what's going on?" Sara hesitantly asked, a little bit surprised.

"Uh-huh," Catherine smiled. "Carpe Diem."

"I don't get it," Sara frowned. "What does seizing the day have to do with anything?"

"Nick didn't 'seize the day,' Sara."

"…What do you mean?"

"He didn't take the chance when he had it."

"What are you talking about?" Sara curiously asked, now more confused than ever.

"It's pretty obvious that Nick has feelings for you, Sara. Feelings that he can no longer act upon," her words hung in the air, while a slightly amused expression appeared on her face.

"What?" Sara asked, her breath halting in her chest.

"He has feelings for you," Catherine quietly repeated her statement. "Or at the very least, he _had_ feelings for you, at one point or another."

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	28. Ready? Okay! Falling! Fall Away!

**A/N: **First of all, my apologies for taking so long to update. These chapters take awhile to write, so I appreciate your patience. And I also appreciate the time that you all took to reply. **The Swedhis alias fan **and **odeepblue**, thank you, once again, for your comments. I hate the "brother" and "sister" conversations, as well; I've been on the receiving end of those one too many times! **Jenny70529**, thank you for reading! **Nnyliram**, here's another surprise for you! **evidesmedt**, you'll see! **Cherrydrops12, **is it better than PB&J with marshmallows and bananas? **wraiths-angel**, in answer to your questions, read on! **disneygal16**, thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a comment! **somebody101**, thank you for reading! **The Lovely Desdemona**, thanks for your suggestions. I re-read the last couple of chapters, and agree with you (sometimes it just takes someone to point it out). Although I didn't get rid of all of the names (it's almost a stylistic thing with me), I made some changes. And how many chapters will there be? I'll keep on writing, for as long as people will keep on reading. I do, however, know that I want to do the chapter where the gang takes Lindsey out (which they said they'd do, in Catherine's chapter). **Annerhuland**, thank you for reading and commenting! I appreciate it! **Catnip**, I feel bad for Nick, too. What a horrible position to be in! And **cowgirl**, thank you so much for reading and commenting.

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The morning quote comes from www. /morning.html, and the Twilight Zone opening is from tzone.the-croc. com/open.html (no spaces for either).

**Title: **_Ready? Okay! Falling! Fall Away!_

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**Catherine and Sara's Tent**

Catherine's words made Sara feel a little bit uncomfortable. _He has feelings for you_, she had announced. Or _at the very least, he had feelings for you, at one point or another_.

"Think back to last year's retreat," Catherine encouraged Sara. "What happened, after you told your story?"

Sara closed her eyes, attempting to remember exactly what had happened. "Nick tried to comfort me," she carefully replied. "And he held me for the entire night. But friends hold other friends; that's a part of being a friend."

"True," Catherine admitted. "But none-the-less, he has always had feelings for you."

Sara slowly shook her head from side to side, getting comfortable in her sleeping bag. "I'm too tired to deal with this right now," she mumbled, once again closing her eyes.

"Well, you're probably going to have to deal with it sooner or later, Sara—and my guess would be sooner, rather than later—so keep that in mind," she advised her colleague, before hunkering down into her own sleeping bag for the night, and resting her head on her arm. "But pleasant dreams."

"'Right. You, too," Sara sighed, slowly drifting off to sleep.

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**Grissom and Greg's Tent, the next morning**

"What time is it, Grissom?" Greg asked, rolling over in his sleeping bag, and staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't know," Grissom replied, yawning, and climbing out of his sleeping bag. "But it's light outside, the sun appears to be shining—" he noted the brightness on the walls of the tent—"The birds are chirping, and it is time to begin our day."

"It can't be any later than six-thirty in the morning, though," Greg protested, slightly groaning as he sat up.

"It's probably more like six," Grissom titled his head toward Greg. "But like Richard Whately once said, 'lose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it.'"

"Who's Richard Whately?" Greg asked, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes, and gingerly crawling out of his sleeping bag.

Grissom raised an eyebrow. "Richard Whately was a philosopher and a theologian. And he's right: we need to get this day started, so that we don't spend the rest of it rushing around wishing that we had woken up much earlier."

_Like that will ever happen; I like to sleep_, Greg thought to himself, nodding, as he ran a hand through his mussed-up hair. Unzipping the tent flap, he crawled outside, taking a deep, cleansing breath of the fresh, crisp, clean air.

---------------

**Around the campfire**

"So good of you to join us, Greggo," Warrick joked, already sitting around the fire with Nick on one side of him, and Catherine and Sara across from him. "We've been up for hours already!"

Catherine rolled her eyes, looking over at Greg. "Don't listen to him. We've only been up for five or ten minutes," she yawned, staring at the kettle of water on the grille resting just above the fire.

"Hey, you guys already started to make some coffee?" Greg eagerly asked. "Excellent!" Glancing into the pot, he sighed, before finding a place to sit down. "Why is it that a watched pot never boils?"

"Because when one is impatient," Grissom started to answer his question, ducking out of his tent. "Things do not appear to move quickly enough," he finished his statement, heading over to the fire. "Did everyone sleep well?"

"I slept like a baby," Catherine announced.

"It was quiet around here," Warrick agreed. "I think that almost everyone has gone back home already. But yeah, Gris; I slept well."

"No complaints here," Greg nodded. "Well, except for the lack of coffee," he muttered.

Sara gave Grissom a half smile, before glancing around the fire. _I would have slept better, had I not talked to Catherine before falling asleep_, she thought to herself, as her gaze fell on Nick's face. Nick, his head bent low, was absentmindedly kicking a stone into the dirt, his arms resting on his knees. _You look incredibly defeated right now. I'm sorry, Nick; I really am. But if Catherine is right, and you really do, or even did, have feelings for me, you should have said something to me when we could have done something about it; because now it's just too late. I'm in love with Grissom, and I'm not leaving him for you, or for anyone else, for that matter._

Nick cleared his throat, picking his head up, and blushing, when he noticed Sara studying his face. "What do we have planned for today, Grissom?" he asked, tearing his gaze away from her, and rubbing the back of his neck. "Something difficult?"

Catherine turned her head to look at Sara, catching the other woman's gaze. Flashing her a knowing smile, Catherine shrugged, as if saying, _see what I mean?_

Sara cautiously nodded back, frowning. _Apparently, Catherine was right._

Grissom sat down on the rock next to Nick's log, clasping his hands together. "This morning, after breakfast, we have trust falls. Trust falls are extremely easy compared to everything else that we've done, and you might even enjoy them."

"Enjoy them?" Catherine asked, standing up in order to quickly check the coffee pot. Frowning at the fact that the water still hadn't boiled, she sat back down. "I find it hard to believe that anything with the name of 'fall' in it, used in a context other than the season, can be fun."

"They're actually not bad, Cath," Warrick told her, stretching his legs out in front of himself. "Someone stands a couple of feet up off of the ground, turns around, and falls backwards into the waiting arms of his or her friends."

"So let me get this straight," Sara cleared her throat. "We have to fall backwards, and cross our fingers that someone catches us?"

Warrick softly chuckled, nodding at her. "Yup. But it's not that bad, girl," he added. "Really."

"I'm not concerned," Sara shrugged, standing up and stretching her legs. "You'll all catch me; I've learned that by now."

_But will you be able to catch me? _Grissom asked. _I'm not the lightest man here, and I don't want anyone to get hurt._

"Yo! Coffee's done!" Greg eagerly announced. "Get it while it's hot!"

"I'll grab the cereal," Nick mumbled, standing up, and walking over to the supplies tent.

"And milk, Nicky; don't forget the milk," Catherine reminded him.

"And the bowls," Warrick added. "And spoons."

"Got it," Nick tried to smile, opening up containers, and getting ready to carry everything back to the fire. Before getting too far, however, he heard someone else coming up behind him. _Please, let it be anyone other than Sara. Please._

"Hi," Sara softly said, clearing her throat.

"…Hey," Nick uneasily replied, slowly turning around, his gaze meeting hers. _Damn. It's Sara._

"Can we talk?" she hesitantly asked him.

"Uh," Nick swallowed. "I, uh, have to go give the food to everyone else," he stammered, walking away, and leaving a very stunned Sara in his wake. _Does she know? Why does she want to talk? What's going on?_

Sara sighed, watching him leave. Slowly following Nick back to the campfire, she shrugged, once again taking her seat next to Catherine. _We have to talk; we really, really do._

"So, are we done with the talking sessions, Grissom?" Catherine asked, carefully scooping a spoonful of cheerios into her mouth.

"No," Grissom shook his head. "We're going to have one more conversation during lunch, and then you will all have time after we eat in order to go swimming, before we have to return home to Vegas."

"Alright!" Greg cheerfully interrupted, bringing his cereal bowl up to his lips, in order to drink the remaining milk. "Sounds good to me!"

"Me, too," Warrick added, standing up, and heading toward the supplies tent to deposit his spoon and bowl.

"Did anyone bring suntan lotion, though?" Catherine asked. "I think I left mine at home," she frowned.

"I've got some," Sara told her, trying to shake away her uneasy feeling.

"Then it's settled," Grissom nodded, also getting to his feet. "Let's head out, so that we can do the trust falls."

Nick simply rubbed his neck, staring at the ground. _Oh, boy, _he sighed to himself.

---------------

**Trust Falls**

"Well, this doesn't look so bad," Greg commented, as they stood in a group in front of a shoulder-length wooden platform. "Actually, it looks kind of fun," he mused.

Warrick squinted up at the platform, running a hand through his hair. "It doesn't look as bad as I thought it would," he spoke up. "But we still have to fall backwards."

"Still, though," Catherine cleared her throat, once again shielding her eyes against the sun's glare. "We trust each other, right?" she asked the group. When no one answered her, she put her hands on her hips, smiling. "That wasn't rhetorical, guys. We all trust each other, right?" she repeated her question.

Sara slowly nodded, mulling things over. "Yes, I think that we do," she finally agreed.

"Uh-huh," Greg added. "We're like the Musketeers, remember?"

Warrick chuckled. "I think that we trust one another, although I can't say that no one has fallen yet," he grinned. "But it's all good."

Nick nodded, staring up at the platform. "We should be fine," he mumbled. "I mean, how bad can this be?"

"Not bad at all," Grissom quietly told him. _Unless you can't catch me, because I'm not as light as the rest of you; although, I'm not that heavy, right? This shouldn't really be a problem. I don't think._

"This definitely won't be bad," Max assured everyone, moving so that he was standing in front of the platform, and facing the gathered criminalists. "But let me explain what you're going to be doing," he smiled, making eye contact with each and every one of them. "Trust falls are fairly easy. I'm going to illustrate how to be the faller, and I would like all of you to be my catchers."

"Okay," Greg shrugged, looking over at him. "So what do we have to do?"

Max headed toward the platform, waving at the CSIs in order to get them to follow him. "I would like Sara, Warrick, and Greg to stand side by side on the ground, just below the left-hand side of the platform, so that Sara, your left shoulder is just next to the edge of the platform. Warrick, please stand next to her, shoulder to shoulder, and Greg, I'd like you to stand next to Warrick, shoulder to shoulder," Max arranged them.

Sara got into place, glancing at Warrick and Greg. "So, we don't actually face the platform?" she asked, slightly confused.

"No," Max replied. "You'll see," he added, as he pointed to Nick, Catherine, and Grissom. "Nick, please stand across from Sara, so that you are an arm's-length away from her, and so that your right shoulder is just next to the edge of the platform."

Nick hesitantly nodded, his face slightly paling. _I don't want to stand across from her. _"Okay," he mumbled.

"Catherine, please stand next to Nick," Max continued, ignoring Nick's unhappy facial expression. "So that your right shoulder is just next to his left one, and so that you are standing an arm's-length away from Warrick. And last, but certainly not least, Grissom, you're going to stand shoulder to shoulder with Catherine, and an arm's-length away from Greg."

"Howdy, partner," Greg grinned at Grissom.

"Hello, Greg," Grissom dryly replied, before returning his attention to Max.

Nick, meanwhile, refused to raise his gaze to meet Sara's, while Sara could not wipe the scowl from her face. _If you would just talk to me, we would be able to end this awkwardness right now._

Warrick, noticing the tension emanating from Nick, cleared his throat. "You okay, man? You look a little bit uncomfortable. There's nothing to be nervous about, you know," misreading Nick's expression. _Nothing to be worried about, man. Nothing to it._

"Seriously, Nick. There's nothing to be afraid of," Catherine added, although she knew what his problem really was. _Talking, Nicky, will help you deal with your issues surrounding Sara; trust me, because I know these things._

"I know," Nick tried to assure them, flashing Warrick and Catherine a very small smile. _Snap out of it. You have to snap out of it. They're all going to know that something is up! But why are Grissom and Sara bothering you so much all of a sudden? They've been together for a year now, and you know that. Why are you being bombarded with these emotions this weekend, of all weekends?_" After a moment of thought, Nick answered his own question. "_Because they maintain their professionalism at work, meaning that you rarely have to see them interact with one another, that's why. And Sara doesn't need you anymore; she has Grissom._

Greg, glancing first at Sara, and then at Nick, smiled. "You two should really see your expressions right now," he pointed out. "This will be fun, I promise!" _What's gotten into the two of you? _he thought to himself. _Geesh!_

After hearing Greg's comment, Grissom turned to look at Sara, raising an eyebrow. Then, glancing at Nick, he frowned. _Why do you look so tense, Nick? And Sara, why do you look so upset? Are you tense over the activity, Nick? Or… is that… sexual tension that I'm seeing? No, it can't be. It's not_, he anxiously rubbed his beard. _And why are you feeling a little bit jealous, anyhow? She chose you, Grissom. Not him, and not anyone else. She chose you, so stop being so insecure!_

"I know it will," Sara briefly smiled at Greg. "I'm looking forward to this one, actually." _And then later on, Nicky, you and I are going to talk. You're not going to avoid me for the rest of our lives. _Turning to look at Grissom, Sara raised an eyebrow, catching the frown on his face. _Are you okay?_ she mouthed to him.

Grissom slowly nodded. _Are you? _Sara's response was an encouraging smile, relieving some of Grissom's fear and anxiety.

"So, if I can have everyone's attention," Max grinned, clapping his hands together. "We'll get started!" When six pairs of eyes turned to look at him, he nodded. "Okay. Sara, you are going to put your left arm, facing upwards, just next to the platform. Nick, your right arm, facing upwards, is going to go right next to hers, touching it."

Nick took a deep breath, finally raising his gaze to meet Sara's. "Okay," he quietly said, holding his right arm up, so that it was touching Sara's left arm.

"And then, Sara," Max continued. "Your right arm is going to go next to Nick's right arm, and Nick, your left arm is going to go next. Just follow the pattern, everyone," he said, watching as the six criminalists placed their arms next to one another, all facing upwards, so that they formed a human platform of alternating arms. "Greg, don't ball up your fist though, okay?" he asked. "Keep your palms facing upwards at all times."

Greg nodded his understanding, relaxing his fist. "Are you sure about this, though, Max? How are twelve arms going to be strong enough to catch someone?"

"You'll see," Max winked, before turning toward the platform, and climbing up the few steps that would enable him to reach the top. Standing next to the edge, he faced the CSIs. "We have a phrase that we're going to say. The faller is going to say, 'ready,' and the catchers reply with, 'okay.' Next, the faller says, 'falling,' and the catchers say, 'fall away.' This ensures that everyone is ready, and that there is no miscommunication about when someone is going to fall."

"Damn," Warrick commented, letting his breath out. "We've got this, though," he added. _No problem._

Catherine nodded, glancing up at Max. "So, you're going to demonstrate this for us?"

"Yup, in a moment," Max nodded. "There's one more thing that you have to be aware of. When you fall, you need to fall flat. Let me explain what I mean," he smiled. "Cross your arms across your chest, and stand stiff. When you get ready to fall, do _not _bend your legs. You want to be as stiff as a board. Got it?"

"Got it," Greg eagerly nodded at him. "Ready?"

Max chuckled, turning around on top of the platform, and tightly holding his arms across his chest. "Here we go! Ready?"

"Okay!" Six voices replied in unison.

"Falling!"

"Fall away!" they replied, tensing their arms.

Within moments, Max was comfortably resting on six pairs of arms. "Piece of cake!" he smiled, as they gently set him down. "So, who wants to go first?"

"I DO!" Greg immediately yelled, breaking the chain, and moving toward the platform.

Max, taking his place, smiled. "Okay, Greg. Stiff as a board."

Once on top of the platform, Greg nodded, as he turned around, placing his arms across his chest. "Ready?"

"Okay!"

"Falling!"

"Fall away!" they told him.

Laughing, Greg fell backwards, landing in the arms of his friends. "Excellent!" he chuckled, as they gently set him down.

"My turn," Warrick announced, as Greg took his place, and he climbed the ladder, turning around. "Ready?"

"Okay!" they replied.

"Falling!"

"Fall away!" the six waiting people ordered him.

Within seconds, Warrick was on the ground, chuckling. "That was actually kind of fun," he commented, as he switched places with Catherine.

"You sure about this?" Catherine asked, climbing to the top of the platform.

"It's seriously fun, Cath," Warrick told her. "Promise. You'll love it!"

Without thinking too hard about it, for fear of talking herself out of doing the activity, Catherine nodded, turning around. "Ready?"

"Okay!"

"Falling!" she stated.

"Fall away!"

Falling backwards, stiff as a board, Catherine screamed on the way down, her scream instantly turning into a fit of laughter as she landed in the arms of her colleagues. "That was… fun!" she smiled, as they put her back down on the ground.

"My turn," Sara spoke up, as she hesitantly crawled to the top of the ladder, sighing. "I'm just going to do this," she informed everyone, turning around, and crossing her arms across her chest. "So… ready?"

"Okay!"

"Falling!"

"Fall away!"

It took her another deep breath, but Sara tightly shut her eyes, immediately falling backwards, only opening her eyes when she felt herself safely in the grasp of her friends. "Alright, I have to admit it," she grinned. "That really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"I told you so, girl," Warrick replied. "It was fun!"

_Yeah, I'm sure. Fun. _With a heavy sigh, Nick slowly climbed up the ladder to the platform, dejectedly saying, "Ready."

"Okay!"

"Falling."

"Fall away!"

With another sigh, Nick fell into the arms of his waiting friends, not saying much at all. _I just want to go home_, he thought to himself, as he headed toward Grissom, relieving him of his place, so that he could take his turn.

"So… I guess I'm up?" Grissom nervously asked, carefully walking toward the ladder. _What are the physics of this thing? How fast will I fall, based on my weight, coupled with the height of the platform? _He asked himself, climbing up the ladder.

"Grissom, you'll be fine," Catherine tried to reassure him, noticing his anxious expression.

"Yeah, this is fun, Grissom," Warrick pointed out, quickly swatting a mosquito away from his face.

Grissom simply nodded, as he made it to the top of the platform, turning away from everyone. Crossing his arms over his chest, he nervously swallowed. "Ready?"

"Okay!"

"Falling," Grissom tried to calmly utter.

"Fall away!"

But Grissom didn't fall. Standing still at the very top of the platform, he froze. _What if they can't catch me? I don't want to hurt anyone! Maybe I shouldn't do this._

"Grissom?" Sara softly called out. "You can do this," she tried to encourage him.

"Yeah, Grissom," Greg added.

"Right," Grissom mumbled, nodding, and glancing behind himself and noticing everyone's waiting arms. "Right," he repeated. "Ready?"

"Okay!"

"Falling," he mumbled.

"Fall away!"

But again, Grissom refused to fall.

Down on the ground, everyone exchanged surprised glances, unsure of what to say, or what to do, to help Grissom feel comfortable enough to fall.

_What's going on? _Sara silently wondered. _I've never seen you behave like this before. You're usually the unflappable one._

Warrick squinted, staring up at Grissom. _Damn. This is a first._

Nick stared up at Grissom, slightly confused, while Catherine sighed. _Grissom, this is so unlike you. What's going through your mind?_ she wanted to ask him.

Greg, on the other hand, couldn't stop smiling. _I can't believe that you're struggling with this, Grissom. We must be in an alternate reality or something._ Chuckling to himself, he continued. _'You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead—your next stop, the Twilight Zone.'_

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	29. Trust

**A/N: **To begin with, this chapter is slightly different from my previous chapters. I hope you all like it! And also, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and/or respond to this fic. It makes me happy to know that someone other than myself is enjoying this. As for your comments: **wraiths-angel** and **odeepblue**, you'll see what happens to Grissom! **dark-girl-faith-sidle**, to answer your question, Nick didn't want to be across from Sara, because he is embarrassed that she knows about his feelings for her. Thanks for your question, though! **CSI3SidleGSR**, at least you tried your trust fall! I chickened out, and I regret it, to this day! **RJ kid, **thank you for your kind comments! I hope that this chapter does not disappoint. **somebody101**, my thoughts exactly (about the trust thing). Thanks for reading! **The Swedhis alias fan**, as long as people keep reading, and as long as I still have things to write, I'll keep on writing this fic! Out of the fics that I've written, it's one of my favorites! **anneruhland**, thank you for reading, and for your comment! And **The Lovely Desdemona, **as always, thank you for your suggestion. Oh, and snoring will continue in future chapters! I just kept running out of room for i!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. The quotes all came from: www. heartquotes. net / fear. Html (without the spaces!).

**Title: **_Trust_

---------------

**Trust Falls**

Up on the platform, Grissom anxiously rubbed his beard, still facing away from the rest of the waiting criminalists. _I don't want to do this, and I'm not going to_, he told himself. _Not after what happened last time._

"Uh, Grissom?" Max hesitantly asked. "Is there a problem?"

"No," Grissom immediately replied, still remaining completely still.

"Then why are you still standing up there?" the guide persisted, screwing his face up in confusion.

"I was trying to figure something out in my head, and I forgot to fall backwards," Grissom calmly explained, his hands at his sides, rather than across his chest. Closing his eyes, he tried to take one deep breath after another, hoping to alleviate some of the tension and fear coursing through his body.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Catherine kindly asked.

"No," Grissom again stated. "I was trying to figure something out in my head, and I just forgot to fall." _Didn't I just say that?_

"I don't think you're telling the truth," Greg shook his head from side to side, staring up at his supervisor in wonderment. "You're definitely afraid."

"No, I am not," Grissom repeated for the third time in as many moments.

"It's okay to be scared," Warrick shrugged, squinting up at Grissom. "It happens to everyone."

"Except," Nick cleared his throat, a slightly confused look on his face. "I don't understand. Don't you trust us to catch you?"

Sara immediately shot Nick a look, narrowing her eyes at his comment. "Of course he trusts us," she assured him. "Don't you, Grissom?" she asked, turning her gaze to study him. _Why won't you turn around to look at us? Are you embarrassed about this? Hell, I've already had problems with several different obstacles, and Warrick had a rough time with the last one. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about._

But Grissom did not reply to Sara, instead choosing to bow his head in order to stare down at the ground by his feet.

"Gil?" Catherine questioned him, her own face mirroring Nick's confused expression. "Why don't you trust us? We would never let you fall," she frowned. _After six years of working with us, you seriously don't believe that we would keep you safe? I think that we would all do anything in our power to protect you._

Greg blinked, not entirely sure how to take Grissom's silence. _But I don't understand_, he wanted to say, clearing his throat. _We're your team; your family. Why don't you believe us, when we tell you that you'll be fine? At least with Warrick, his accident was his own fault, and Sara just_, Greg swallowed. _Sara panicked because we touched her_.

_Damn_, Warrick thought. _I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the great Gil Grissom not trusting any of us. What does that say about me, and my trustworthiness?_

_Do you not trust me, either? _Sara wanted to ask him. _Because I thought that you trusted me with your life. Actually, I thought that you trusted all of us with your life. _Sighing, Sara again looked up at him. "Grissom, we won't let you fall; honest."

_I've trusted you with my life in the past, so… why don't you trust me with yours? _Nick sadly thought, taking Grissom's reaction extremely personally. "You just… lean back, and we'll catch you," he spoke up. "Nothin' to it, Grissom."

"The hardest part is doing it backwards, Gil," Catherine told him, her hands on her hips. "But you can do this; you've done worse."

"Hell," Warrick gave him a slight smile, even though Grissom was still facing away from everyone. "You've processed a DB after it's been sitting out in the desert for over seventy-two hours," he pointed out. "This is nothing, compared to that."

"Uh-huh," Greg tried to encourage him. "'Never let the fear of striking out get in your way,'" he announced.

"Hey, man," Nick grinned. "Babe Ruth? Excellent."

Grissom, still not facing his team, once again nervously rubbed his beard. "That isn't the problem," he finally admitted.

"Well what _is_ the problem, then?" Warrick prompted him, squinting up at the back of his supervisor's head. "Because I know that we sure as hell won't let anything happen to you."

Grissom sighed, finally turning around to look at everyone. "'Fear is only as deep as the mind allows,'" he quoted an old Japanese proverb. "And unfortunately, my fear of being dropped goes all the way back to the 1960s," he told everyone, lowering himself to the very edge of the platform, and sitting down. "Although I don't typically like to share personal information about myself, you all deserve an explanation; and lucky for you, I remember the incident like it was yesterday."

---------------

**The Grissom Residence, early 1960s**

Seven-year-old Gilbert Grissom sat in front of his family's only television set, rapturously studying the characters on "Car 54, Where Are You?" Sitting cross-legged in front of the screen, his entire attention focused on the antics of Toody and Muldoon, he didn't even notice his mother walk into the room, until she was tapping him on the back.

_Gilbert_, she signed, once she had his undivided attention. _Did you already do your homework?_ Although only in first grade, Grissom was already starting to show his intellect, taking advanced classes in most of his subjects.

_Yes, Mother,_ Grissom signed back. _I finished my science in a couple of minutes; Mrs. Reece told us to find five leafs, and trace them on a piece of a paper, creating a mini-guidebook. I found ten leafs, and dissected each one of them down to their smallest parts, in order to better document their appearances._

Grissom's mother raised an eyebrow, staring down at her son. _How can you dissect a leaf?_ She wanted to know.

_Simple! You just pull them apart at the stems,_ he explained. _And then you can get good images of the individual fibers,_ he slowly signed, proud of himself for his creativity, and for his dedication to science.

Grissom's mother nodded, instantly looking up, as she noticed lights flashing—her own personalized doorbell—in the living room. _Gilbert, can you please get the door? _She asked her young son, who immediately ran off to do as she asked.

Cautiously opening the door, Grissom stuck his head outside, a flicker of excitement appearing on his face when he processed who was actually standing in front of him. "Hi!" he eagerly greeted Peter Simmons and Mike Walters, two kids from his class. "What are you guys doing here?" Mike immediately snickered, frowning, when Pete elbowed him in the side. Although Grissom noticed the exchange, he chose to ignore it, as it wasn't every day that someone his own age showed up on his doorstep, looking for him.

"We, uh," Peter grinned at Grissom. "We're going to go fly kites down by the beach, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come along with us? If your mom will let you out of the house, that is," he glanced at Mike, who was once again snickering.

"I'll go check with her. Wait here, please!" Grissom happily told them both, running into the kitchen, and excitedly tapping his mother's shoulder in order to get her attention. _Mom_, he signed. _Two kids from school are outside, and they want me to go fly kites with them. Can I go? Please? _He asked, "Car 54" already forgotten. _They're going down to the beach_, he anxiously continued. _But I'll be careful, I promise! It's a two minute walk! Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?_

Grissom's mother thought about it for a moment, tempted to say no; although they lived in an extremely safe neighborhood, the beach was still not their backyard, and she really did not want him out of her sight. But that being said, it wasn't every day that someone showed up at the door, wanting to play with her son. _Okay,_ she finally acquiesced. _But put some sunscreen on, and be careful!_

Grissom was already out of the kitchen, before she had the chance to tell him to have fun.

"What took you so long?" Mike asked him, when Grissom finally emerged from his home, five minutes later.

"Uh… sorry," Grissom hesitated, his face instantly flushing. "I had to get my kite," he explained, holding it up to show them. "And I had to put some sunscreen on. Where are your kites—?" he started to ask, although he did not finish his thought. _It's probably best not to annoy them_, he told himself.

Mike rolled his eyes, glancing at Peter, before both boys took off at a run.

"Hey, wait up!" Grissom called after them, trying to keep up. "I can't run that fast!" he panted, as they rounded a corner at the end of his street, still heading toward the beach.

"What's the matter, Gil?" Peter suddenly stopped, waiting for him to catch up. "Haven't you ever run before? You're slower than a girl!" he taunted him.

"And you have a sissy name!" Mike added, standing beside Peter, an evil look on his face.

Grissom stopped running, his smile slowly fading. _Why are they being so mean to me? _He asked himself. _I thought that they wanted to play with me_, _and I thought that they wanted to be my friend! _He swallowed, slightly confused. Although Peter and Mike had never asked him to play with them before, Grissom had hoped that they would truly allow him to be a part of the "cool kids club." "I can run faster," he tried to assure them, taking a step toward them.

"Oh, yeah?" Mike asked the seven-year old Grissom. "Then let's see you go!" he smirked, grinning, as the little boy took off down the sidewalk.

"See?" Grissom called back over his shoulder, stopping one hundred yards later. "See? I can run fast!" he pointed out.

Peter and Mike exchanged a glance that Grissom could not see, before breaking out into fits of laughter. "Okay, Gil," Pete agreed. "You can run. Come on back!" he grinned.

Grissom, slightly relieved that he had proven his point, trotted back to his two new friends. _Now they'll like me_, he reasoned. _I can keep up with them, so they have to like me! _"So… are we still going to the beach?" he nervously asked, glancing down at the kite clutched tightly in one of his tiny fists.

"Nah," Peter shrugged, staring over at Grissom. "Actually, Gil, we need your help," he admitted.

Grissom shifted from foot to foot, anxiously running his free hand through his hair. "Okay," he sadly mumbled. "What do you need? Do you need help with your homework?" _Now I know why they wanted me to play; they just wanted me to do their homework for them._

"No," Peter chuckled. "It's nothing like that. But look up," he ordered Grissom.

Grissom slowly looked up into the branches of a tall tree, spying something caught up at the very top. "Is that a kite?" he cautiously asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Uh-huh!" Mike grinned at him. "It's my kite, and it's stuck. I need you to climb up there in order to get it for me!"

Grissom cleared his throat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with the entire conversation. "I'm not allowed to climb trees," he quietly informed the two other boys, staring down at the ground. _And besides, I really don't want to climb to the top of the tree._

"C'mon, Gil," Peter persisted. "Just go up there, get the kite, and we'll help you down! It'll be fun, I promise." Grissom swept his gaze up the tree again, frowning at the distance that he would need to climb in order to reach the trapped kite. "And once you come down," Peter continued. "We'll go to the beach, and have some fun."

Grissom slowly conceded, as he gently set his kite down on the ground. Glancing at the tree, he hesitantly touched the trunk with one hand, before leaping for the nearest branch. Grabbing it in his sweaty palms, he very carefully pulled himself up, swinging both legs over the branch, and sitting down on it for a very brief moment.

"Can't you go any faster?" Mike complained, shielding his eyes against the glare from the sun, and watching Grissom's slow progress. "My grandmother can climb a tree faster than you can!"

Grissom quietly nodded, standing up, and continuing to climb higher. Five minutes, and two cuts later, he reached the top of the tree, dislodging the kite, and sending it to the ground. "Got it?" he asked his two new friends.

"Got it, Gil! Good job!" Mike happily replied, as he gingerly picked up his kite, looking it over for any damage. "But you're wasting time! Let's go!"

"Okay!" Grissom smiled at Mike's praise, before starting to climb back down the tree.

"Just jump, Gil," Peter mumbled, when Grissom was finally half-way back down. "I want to go to the beach, and it's taking you forever!"

"I'll just be a minute more," Grissom calmly told him, grunting, as he hung from one of the branches, trying to step on the one just below him. "Just one minute more," he repeated, as his hands scraped against the rough bark of the tree, causing him to gasp in pain as little pinpricks of blood appeared on one of his palms.

"Just jump," Peter repeated. "We'll catch you," he added, as he and Mike held their arms out in front of themselves as if to prove their point. "It will take you less time to jump, and you'll stop getting hurt," he tried to reason with him.

Grissom slowly nodded, mulling this over. "Do you promise to help catch me, though?" he asked, glancing down at the ground. "I'm not that far up… I should be okay, right?"

"Of course you will," Peter frowned. "We're strong kids!"

"Uh-huh," Mike agreed with him, glancing up at Grissom. "Don't you trust us?"

Grissom hesitantly nodded his head yes, before releasing his death hold on the tree, and stepping to the edge of the branch. "Okay," he mumbled. "One, two, three—" he jumped.

Just as Grissom was saying the word 'three,' however, Peter and Mike glanced at one another, taking a step backward, and laughing hysterically, as the young boy fell to the ground.

Landing on top of his wrist, Grissom howled in pain, as he heard the bone snap.

---------------

**Trust Falls**

"So, let me get this straight," Warrick was the first person to speak up, after listening to Grissom tell his story. "Those little bastards let you fall on purpose?"

Grissom slowly shook his head yes, staring down at the ground. "I jumped, and they purposely moved backwards so that I would fall. I ended up going to the hospital, because my wrist was shattered in three different places."

"What an asinine thing to do," Catherine sighed. _And yet, now I understand why you are reluctant to make new friends. You wanted to fit in with your classmates, and they used that fact to ridicule, and even hurt, you; essentially, they burned you. But we're not like them_, Catherine mused. _We would never let you get hurt._

"Did they say why they did it, Grissom?" Greg quietly asked, not wanting to force Grissom to relive an embarrassing situation in his life, but at the same time, very curious. "Were they just trying to get back at you or something?"

Grissom cleared his throat, his face slightly reddening.

"What is it, Gris?" Warrick asked.

"They said that I was too big," he informed everyone. "And they didn't want me to break their arms."

Nick's eyes rose in confusion, as he stared up at his supervisor. "You _do _know that you're thin, right?" he quizzically asked. "I mean, you're not going to hurt any of us."

"I know that," Grissom unconvincingly replied. "But just to be on the safe side, I don't believe that I should complete this activity."

Sara slowly shook her head no, glancing up at Grissom. "You have to do it, Grissom. I mean, you don't _have _to do it, but you should. Do you trust us?" she quietly asked him.

Grissom hesitated, his eyes still on the ground.

"Grissom?" Sara's voice once again calmly prodded him. When he looked up at her, she tried to smile at him. "Do you trust us?"

"Yes," he cautiously told her. "But—"

"But nothing, Gil," Catherine interrupted him. "Sara is right. If you trust us, then complete this activity. You need to learn that we're a team, and that we're not going to let anything happen to you."

"Ditto on what the ladies just told you," Greg flashed him a crooked smile.

"You'll be fine, Gris," Warrick tried to reassure him. "Really."

"You've been there for us in the past, Grissom," Nick quietly spoke up. "So now let us get you through this," he added, as he motioned for everyone to take their assigned places by the obstacle.

"Okay," Grissom sighed, slowly getting to his feet, and once again shuffling to the very edge of the platform. Hesitantly turning around, he took a deep breath, moving his arms so that they were crossed against his chest. "Ready?" he whispered.

"Okay," the five criminalists and one guide seriously replied.

"… Falling," Grissom swallowed.

"Fall away!" they told him, bracing their arms and legs to ensure that they would not drop him.

Grissom took one more deep breath, before shuddering. "Falling," he repeated himself.

Everyone exchanged anxious glances, wondering whether or not he would actually go through with the task. "Fall away!" they again chanted together.

With one more deep breath, Grissom forced his body to stiffen, falling backwards into the waiting arms of his colleagues, who as promised, easily caught him.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	30. Equilibrium

**A/N: **It's kind of funny, but if someone had once told me that I would write something this long, I would have laughed at them; and hard enough to spit milk out through my nose. So seriously, thank you, for all of your support and encouragement. Thanks goes out to **odeepblue**, **anneruhland **(I was hoping that people would identify with this chapter, so thank you!), **somebody101**(I love this fic, and I hope to continue writing it!), **RJKid, Cherrydrops** (your meals sound… interesting!), **dark-girl-faith-sidle** (kids can be really cruel! I've worked in regular middle and high schools, and alternative schools!), **Veronica10** (here it comes!), **Abbeecadabra **(you could be right; I got it from a website, but you never know!), **The Lovely Desdemona **(no sadness. Hopefully happiness from this chapter!), and last but not least, **wraiths-angel **(enjoy yourself!). Before I continue on with the chapter, I sincerely hope that you all understand the equilibrium exhibit. If you've been in one before, you will instantly know what I am talking about. Otherwise, I hope my description works! Oh, and thanks to **QTR**, for answering a couple of my questions!

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS. Thanks also goes to Wikipedia, for the information on balance!

**Title: **_Equilibrium_

---------------

**On the path back to the campsite**

"That was awesome, Grissom," Greg grinned, as the six criminalists walked back down the path toward their campsite. "I mean, I really didn't think that you were going to be able to do it there at the end, but that was really awesome! And you trusted us. We told you that we wouldn't drop you," he enthused. "And we didn't!"

Grissom shuffled along the path beside Sara, not entirely sure what to say, rubbing his beard in slight embarrassment. _I just can't believe that I told you all about the tree incident._

"Take some credit for once in your lifetime, Gil," Catherine chided him. "You overcame one of your greatest fears, and you did it was grace and honor. That says a lot about your character, you know."

Grissom quietly nodded, staring straight ahead of himself, as they neared their campsite. "Perhaps," he finally admitted. "Although I believe that all of you being so patient with me also says quite a bit."

"Nah, man," Nick spoke up. "Catherine is right; you did well. You believed in yourself, and you believed in us. You did it!"

"Yeah," Warrick added. "And you showed those punks who's the boss."

"I knew you could do it," Sara whispered to Grissom, lightly bumping his shoulder with her own in order to get his attention, and smiling up at him.

Grissom gave Sara the smallest of smiles, before the six criminalists walked into their campsite.

"Is it time to swim, yet?" Greg asked the moment that he neared his tent. "Because I'd really like to swim," he announced to his colleagues.

"Well," Grissom frowned. "We were supposed to do some more talking during lunch, but I have to admit, I could really use a break. Would anyone else like to go swimming?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hell, yeah," Warrick immediately replied.

"Definitely," Catherine affirmed, before walking into her tent in order to change.

"Me, too," Sara smiled, following her inside.

"I guess so," Nick non-committally shrugged, nervous with the fact that he would have to speak to Sara sooner or later; hopefully sooner, rather than later.

"Last one changed is a rotten egg!" Greg chuckled, darting into his own tent in order to change into his bathing suit.

Grissom just raised an eyebrow, leaning into his tent far enough to grab his suit, before standing back up, and heading toward the restrooms. _I almost got dizzy there for a moment_, he thought to himself, before grinning. _But then again, the last time that Sara got dizzy, well_… his mind trailed off, already lost in the memory.

---------------

**The third date, 11 months prior**

"Sara, just take my hand," Grissom quietly told her, as they stood in line for their turn to walk through the equilibrium exhibit at the Las Vegas Museum and Science Center.

"No, I'm fine," Sara smiled at him, before closing her eyes, in order to stop the dizziness from getting any worse.

"Why won't you just take my hand?" Grissom asked again. _I thought that you liked holding my hand. We held hands at the butterfly observatory; has something changed in the span of a couple of weeks?_

"Because I'm fine!" Sara repeated, this time a little bit more sharply than she intended. "Really, I'm fine," she tried to assure him, taking a deep breath.

"But you're already dizzy," he hesitantly pointed out, glancing up the tilted ramp which led into the museum's exhibit on equilibrium. Although they were standing outside of the "house," and waiting to enter, Grissom and Sara could still see a small part of what was going on inside; which meant that Sara's brain was already busy trying to process the visual cues that it was receiving.

The exhibit, brand new this year, was built to toy with the equilibrium of each and every participant. From the outside, the exhibit looked fairly innocuous; a fake house, perhaps ten feet in width, and thirty feet in length. The inside, however, was designed to prove how straight lines and level floors can help maintain equilibrium, by doing the complete opposite; the interior of the "house" contained a floor built at a constant forty-five degree angle, a mix of zigzag and striped lines along the walls, tilted windows, crooked paintings, and visually off-centered tiles covering the floor and the ceiling. Participants entered through a door on the right-hand side of the exhibit, following a railing to their right, and eventually exiting a short-distance later, on the left-hand side of the exhibit.

"I'm not dizzy," Sara repeated, closing her eyes in order to end the visual onslaught from the house. "Really, I'm fine." _I don't want to fall; falling would be embarrassing. And I don't need your help_, she told herself. _I don't want your help; I don't want anyone's help._

Grissom sighed, standing beside her, but letting the subject drop. It wasn't worth fighting over, and he knew that the chances of her actually falling were really pretty slim. _Although, frankly, I just wanted to hold your hand._

"They're laughing," Sara quietly spoke up, as two teenagers stumbled out of the exhibit's exit. "That's a good sign, right?" she asked.

"I'm sure they're just amused with being so disoriented," Grissom replied, as they moved forward in line. "What we are about to see is not something that we are actually used to seeing," he reminded her, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah," Sara simply smiled, as she moved up another spot in line, so that she was the next person who would have the opportunity to enter. "Well, that's good, I guess," she shrugged, as the attendant waved her in. "Ready?" she asked Grissom, who was still behind her.

"Yes, I'm ready," he nodded, resisting the urge to grab her hand, just for fun, and following her into the house.

Once they were inside, Sara raised an eyebrow, attempting to take it all in. "This is bizarre," she whispered, as her eyes widened in the attempt to reconcile what she was actually seeing, with what her brain was telling her that she was seeing. "I feel like I'm being pulled to the left," she commented, gripping the railing to her right. "Truthfully, I feel like I'm being pulled down a hill, except for the fact that the hill is actually only a forty-five degree angle."

"Fascinating, isn't it?" Grissom mused, the corners of his mouth pulling up into a small smile.

"Yes," Sara chuckled, as she once again closed her eyes, trying to regain her balance. "This place is unreal," she commented, slowly opening her eyes in order to glance around the exhibit. "I feel unbelievably dizzy right now—"

"Would you like to hold my hand?" Grissom immediately interrupted her.

Sara tried not to roll her eyes at him. "No. As I was saying, I feel unbelievably dizzy right now, but I want to analyze what is really taking place."

"Understandable," Grissom glanced at her. "And I've done just that. Our equilibrioception, or our sense of balance, can be distorted, when people create visual cues that make us feel as if we are vigorously moving. We don't realize it, but level floors, level walls, patterns, straight windows, and non-crooked pictures, give our brains a frame of reference. We do not become dizzy, until the images begin to clash with one another, making us feel as if we are rapidly moving in circles."

Sara raised an eyebrow, her knuckles white from tightly holding onto the railing. "Thank you," she tried not to chuckle at his scientific explanation. "That makes perfect sense to me, actually."

"Hey, Mister?" A boy of about four years old interrupted Sara, trying to quickly move along the railing in order to reach Grissom. "Hey, Mister?" he repeated, releasing his hold on the railing, and finally just running toward him. "You're smart," he grinned. "And your wife is pretty, too!" he added, as he tried to pass right on by Grissom, so that he could look more closely at Sara.

"Oh, no, I'm not his wife—" Sara started to say, her face turning crimson.

"No, she's not my wife—" Grissom mumbled, blushing, shifting from foot to foot in embarrassment.

"Oh," Franklin shrugged, taking another step toward Sara. "She's still the second-most prettiest person I've ever seen," he informed Grissom, teetering from side to side, almost as if he was about to lose his balance.

"Franklin?" his mother yelled at him, reaching a hand out toward him. "Say sorry!"

"No, Mommy! I just want to see the pretty lady!" he giggled, before trying to once again push past Grissom, in order to get to Sara. Misjudging his footing, however, Franklin nearly fell down, before reaching out, and grabbing a hold of Sara's arm. Still falling to the left, and pulling Sara with him, he shrieked, as his mother snagged his arm, and Grissom made a grab for Sara, pulling her tightly to his body.

"I'm so sorry, Sir, Ma'am," Franklin's mother uttered in embarrassment, as she ushered her young son out of the exhibit. "I'm really sorry!" She repeated over her shoulder, before briskly walking down the exit ramp, holding Franklin's arm firmly in one hand.

"Mommy!" Franklin screamed on the way out of the exhibit.

_It's okay_, _really; it was an accident, _Sara was going to tell her, until she realized that Grissom actually had one of his arms tightly wrapped around her. Noting the rapid thumping of her heart beating, and becoming aware of the sudden sweatiness of her palms, Sara tried to take a deep breath, in the hopes of calming herself down. "Thank you," she finally whispered to Grissom, her eyes riveted to his, as she felt one arm tightly encircle her waist, drawing her even closer to him, as his other hand firmly held onto the guide rail.

"No problem," he quietly replied, his own heart pounding in his chest, as he flashed Sara an amused expression. "But I did warn you," he commented, a slight twinkle in his eyes.

"What…?" Sara asked, licking her lips.

"I told you just to hold my hand."

"True, you did," Sara mused, slightly smiling. "But you know what?"

"What?" Grissom asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I like this a whole hell of a lot better," she grinned at him.

---------------

**Campsite**

"Let's go, let's go!" Greg eagerly tried to spur everyone on, as he glanced down the path that would lead them to the lake. "Seriously, I want to get some swimming in!"

"Hold your horses, Greg," Catherine ordered him, stepping out of her tent, and wrapping a towel around her waist. "Give everyone a chance to get dressed."

"How long does it take to pull some clothes off, and then to throw on a bathing suit?" he mumbled, standing with the towel draped over one shoulder.

"It takes approximately two and a half minutes," Warrick replied, shuffling out of his tent. "Or longer, if you're Grissom."

"What about if you're Grissom?" Sara asked, popping out of her tent, her towel already wrapped around her waist.

"Nothin'," Warrick grinned, standing beside Greg. "So now we just need Nick and Grissom, and we're good to go."

"Correction," Nick spoke up, climbing out of his tent. "Now we just need Grissom."

"Who's right here," Grissom added, calmly walking down the path from the restrooms. "Let's go," he announced to the five waiting criminalists, the moment that he reached their sides.

"How'd he get way over there?" Greg whispered to Warrick, as the two men started walking down the path toward the beach.

"It's magic," Warrick joked, his towel slung over one shoulder.

Catherine just rolled her eyes, as she, Sara, and Grissom, all took off down the path after Greg and Warrick.

"Yo, Nick, you comin', man?" Warrick suddenly called out over his shoulder, after having noticed Nick still standing by the tents, as if stuck in place.

"Yeah, in a minute," Nick replied, watching his friends leave the campsite. "Hey, Sara?" he hesitatingly tried to get her attention.

Catherine, Sara, and Grissom all stopped walking, turning around to look at Nick. "Hmm?" she asked him, noticing that Greg and Warrick had continued walking.

"Can we, uh, talk for a couple of minutes?" he anxiously asked, standing beside the fire pit.

"Sure, Nick," Sara sighed. _Finally. _"We'll catch up with you two later," she smiled at Catherine and Grissom.

Grissom uneasily glanced at Sara, then Nick, followed by Sara again, nervously rubbing his beard.

Catching his gaze, Sara flashed him another small smile. _I love you_, she mouthed to him.

_I love you, too_, he mouthed back, swallowing, before looking at Catherine.

"It'll be fine, Gil," Catherine quietly assured him. "Just let them talk."

"Right," Grissom sighed, giving Sara one last lingering look, before slowly following Catherine toward the lake. _I certainly hope so, anyhow._

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	31. Confessions

**A/N: **As always, thank you again to those of you are still reading this fic. I'm glad that everyone understood the house flashback, though! It's kind of hard to explain, but seriously, the thing makes you dizzy! Also, thank you for your critiques and suggestions! They are always appreciated, as they help make my writing better.

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Confessions_

---------------

**Campsite**

"Sara," Nick hesitated, sitting down on one of the logs surrounding the fire pit. "Look, I don't know what to say to you," he mumbled, running an anxious hand through his hair. "I just—I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay," Sara softly replied, slowly walking toward one of the logs opposite of his, and sitting down. "So go ahead; I'm listening." Nervously studying the ground in front of her, Sara tried her hardest to focus her attention on Nick's voice; but she could feel her heart pounding inside of her chest, and the noise of her heart beating was deafening.

"So," Nick kicked a pebble with his toe. "How are you doing?" _Just talk to her like you normally would! Open your mouth, and talk!_

Sara frowned, her gaze still riveted to the ground. _So you want to talk, but you aren't really going to say anything, are you? You're too scared. _Clearing her throat, she sighed. "I'm fine; how are you?"

"I've been better," Nick admitted. "I feel a little bit awkward about this whole situation, but—" he trailed off. "But I feel the need to talk to you about it. To clear the air."

Sara nodded, pursing her lips together in thought. "I understand that you feel uncomfortable," she slowly began, finally raising her gaze to meet his, only to find him still studying the ground. "But won't you feel better once everything is out in the open?"

"I don't know," Nick shrugged. "Possibly. Actually, probably," he amended, trying to take a deep breath, in order to calm his very frayed nerves.

"So then tell me what you want to tell me, Nick, so that you can move forward. No, so that we can _both _move forward," Sara suggested.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck, before resting his arms on his knees, and finally looking up at Sara. "Okay. So you want to know what's going on with me?"

"Yes, I do," Sara whispered, although she already knew what was going on with him.

"I have feelings for you, Sara; not had, but have."

---------------

**Casey's Sports Bar, two years prior**

"You what?" Warrick incredulously asked his friend, twisting his head in order to study his expression. "Please, Nicky, tell me that you're joking?"

"No, bro, I'm not," Nick replied, his eyes focused on the large-screen television set at the front of the sports bar. "I, Nick Stokes, have feelings for Sara Sidle."

"So what are you going to do about it?" Warrick asked, still in disbelief.

"Nothing," Nick shrugged. "What am I supposed to do? Walk right up to her and say, 'Hey, Sara, want to go out with me?'"

"Well, yeah, man, that's usually how it's done," Warrick chuckled.

Nick took a sip of his coke, grabbing a chicken wing from the basket in front of him. "She doesn't like me like that, though," he reminded his friend.

"And how do you know that?" Warrick blinked, grabbing a nacho from the basket, and shoving the entire thing into his mouth.

"Haven't you noticed, Rick?" he asked, taking a bite of the hot wing, before glancing down at the table again in embarrassment.

"Noticed what?"

"She's got a thing for Grissom; the way that she looks at him when she doesn't think that anyone is watching her; the things that she says to him. It's obvious... at least to a trained expert, such as myself," he joked.

Warrick held back a laugh, squinting at Nick. "All joking aside," he frowned, slightly stunned. "Are you telling me that you don't want to go after her, because you think that she's in love with Grissom? That's a bullshit reason, Nick, and you know it; you're just scared," he tried to reason with his friend.

"That might be so," Nick mumbled. "But I'm not going to waste my time pursuing someone who is already pursuing someone else."

"Look, listen to me," Warrick sighed, grabbing another nacho from one of the baskets littering the table. "As your friend, I'm going to give you some words of advice, okay?"

"Sure," Nick cautiously replied, looking up at Warrick.

"If you have feelings for her, take your head out of the sand, and go talk to her. Stop hiding behind what you think she thinks, because frankly, Nicky, Sara is a pretty complex woman," he reminded the younger man. "If you don't go and talk to her—and I mean immediately—" Warrick continued. "You may lose her to someone else, for forever."

"Lose Sara? To someone else?" Nick asked in surprise, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't think that she's smart? Or funny? Or attractive?" Warrick countered.

"Yeah, but—" _But she's shy, and quiet; I know that she's been pursuing Grissom, but I don't see her putting herself out there all that much._

"Then you might lose her to someone else," Warrick interrupted him.

Nick grabbed another hot wing, glancing at it, before nibbling on it. "Do _you _have feelings for her?" he suddenly asked Warrick, understanding starting to dawn on him.

Warrick just chuckled. "No, Nicky, I don't. But let's just say that you're not the only one in the lab who has a thing for Ms. Sidle."

Nick pondered that for a moment, before nodding. "Okay," he slowly told Warrick. "Okay. I'll talk to her about my feelings—but in the morning."

"I mean it, Nick; you better talk to her, or you may never know what you're missing out on. Because if you choose not to talk to her, and she starts dating someone else, well, that'll be a bitch."

"I know," Nick sighed. "I know. And like I said, I'll talk to her—in the morning." _Definitely. Maybe. No, probably not._

---------------

**The Lake**

"C'mon in, the water's great!" Greg shouted from inside of the lake. "Seriously, guys," he grinned, staring at Grissom and Catherine, who were both still standing on the beach. "You'll love it!"

"We know, and we'll be in shortly, Greg," Catherine spoke up, watching him splash around in the water with Warrick.

"No we won't," Grissom muttered under his breath, so that only Catherine could hear him. "I don't swim."

"Whatever!" Greg replied, before turning to his colleague. "So, what do you think Nick and Sara are talking about?" he asked, ducking under the water, as Warrick tried to launch a giant splash at him. Coming up, and sputtering for breath, he raised an eyebrow. "Anything important?"

"None of our business, Greggo," Warrick chuckled. "Although I'm sure that we'll find out soon enough," he shrugged.

"But do you think it's about her and Grissom?" he persisted.

"I think that it's none of our business," Warrick repeated, glancing at Greg.

"Okay," Greg frowned, before once again trying to splash Warrick, and immediately swimming away.

"Oh, no you didn't!" Warrick grinned, taking off after him.

Back on the beach, Catherine sighed. "Gil, would you please relax?" She quietly asked her supervisor, sitting down on the sand. "They're just talking, and trying to clear some things up."

"I know what they're doing," Grissom replied, sitting down beside her, and turning his head to look at her. "But what if Nick says something to change her mind about me? He's younger, he's more athletic, he's—"

"Not you," Catherine interrupted his sentence. "He's not you, Gil, and it's _you_ whom she's in love with. Give Nick a chance to clear the air, though, okay? They're good friends, and I would hate to see them destroy a friendship over whatever it is that he isn't voicing."

"I know," Grissom acquiesced. "And you're right. I trust both of them, and I'm just going to try to relax, and to let whatever happens, happen."

Catherine shook her head, raising an eyebrow. "But seriously, you have nothing to worry about," she once again tried to assure him.

"I know, but still," Grissom mused. "We're not married, or even engaged, so it isn't like she's actually attached to me," he again pointed out, starting to talk in circles.

"Gil," Catherine sighed, trying to remain calm. "Again, she loves you. Stop jumping to conclusions, okay? You need to trust her; and Nick."

"I do," Grissom quietly replied. "I trust both of them. I've just never felt like this about someone before, and I'm afraid that I'm going to lose her."

"You really love her, don't you?" Catherine half-stated and half-questioned, smiling. _You've come a long way in one year, Gil_, she thought to herself. _Both of you have, as a matter of fact_.

"Yes, I think I do," Grissom mused. "More than you can imagine."

_Good, and I can tell. _"So are you going to go in the lake?" Catherine then asked, changing the subject. "I heard you say something about not swimming?"

"I think I'm going to go in," Grissom replied. "But not until Sara returns. I'm sure she'll try to drag me in, anyhow."

Catherine chuckled. "I'm sure you're right," she grinned. "She can be pretty stubborn, when she wants to be."

"Yes. Yes, she can."

---------------

**The Campsite**

"I have to be honest with you, Nick," Sara cleared her throat, looking down at the ground in nervousness. "I'm not entirely sure what to say to you."

"I know," he swallowed, running an anxious hand through his hair. "And I know that I don't have a chance with you anymore, but—"

"But what?" Sara quietly prodded him.

"Well, I mean, I don't, right?"

"You don't, what?" Sara cautiously asked him, studying a pebble as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Do I… have a… chance with you anymore…?" he asked, barely above a whisper, his eyes tentatively searching for hers.

"Nick, I—" Sara raised an eyebrow, blushing.

_If she's blushing, then maybe I do have a chance with her! _Nick thought to himself. "I mean, if I—"

"Nick," Sara quietly interrupted him. "You might have had a chance with me, so to speak, years ago, and you still might have a chance with me in the future, but," she cleared her throat. "I'm with Grissom right now; I love him, and he loves me," she trailed off.

"But I don't understand," Nick hesitantly stated. "What does Grissom have that I don't have? When you were upset at last year's retreat, it was me who comforted you around the fire, not him."

"And I appreciated the fact that you did that," Sara quietly told him. "You were a great friend; you still are a great friend."

"So what does he have that I don't have?" Nick again repeated his question.

"He had the courage to ask me out," she quietly told him. "That's what he has that you don't have. And not only that," Sara continued. "He shares a little bit of himself with me, every time that we talk; he shares his thoughts, and his ideas. He is trying his hardest not to keep secrets from me, which is something that you have apparently done for years."

Nick blushed, staring down at the ground. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I know that I should have asked you out when I first developed feelings for you, but I was too shy. And I don't mean to make things awkward for either of us by bringing up my feelings for you now," he sighed. "But I just needed some closure, I suppose. I needed to know that there can't be anything romantic between us right now."

"Or possibly forever," Sara cautiously reminded him.

"Right. It's just going to be hard, you know?" he quietly asked.

"What will be?"

"Seeing the two of you together," Nick frowned.

"I know," Sara sighed. "But we're pretty careful at work, so you won't see much there, and as far as the rest of the retreat goes? Well, we'll watch ourselves," she assured him.

"No, that isn't fair to the two of you, though," he stated.

_I don't know what to tell you, then! What is it that you want to hear from me?_ Sara wanted to scream at him.

"So, where does that leave us now?" Nick hesitantly asked, slightly surprising her.

"I guess that all depends on you, Nicky," Sara softly replied. "Where do you want us to be?" _Besides together, in a romantic relationship._

"Well," Nick cautiously began, once again running a nervous hand through his hair. "Do we still have any hope left of salvaging our friendship?"

Sara raised an eyebrow, completely surprised. "There's nothing wrong with our friendship, Nick," she pointed out to him. "It certainly isn't in need of salvaging."

"…Really?" he quizzically asked her. "I haven't ruined everything, by talking to you about my… feelings?"

"You haven't ruined a thing," Sara flashed him a small smile. "I can't see us ever not being friends."

"Well, okay, then," Nick let out the breath that he had been holding. "Then thank you."

"For what?" she softly asked.

"For listening," he replied. "And for helping me take the first step in moving beyond you."

Sara slowly nodded, glancing across the fire at him.

"I have one more question for you, though," Nick suddenly spoke up.

"Okay, go ahead," Sara replied.

"Last night, you told me that I was one of your best friends, and like a brother to you. Is that true?" he curiously asked her.

Sara nodded, slightly smiling. "Yes, I believe so."

"Does that mean that I get to protect you, then? Like a brother would?"

Sara chuckled. "Sure, if I ever need protecting." And then it dawned on Sara. Nick took pride in helping her, and she knew that. He was always one of the first people to give her a hug if she needed one, and to cheer her up when she needed cheering up. _Are you afraid that I'll no longer need you? _She wondered to herself. "You know, Nick," Sara cleared her throat. "Just because I'm seeing Grissom, doesn't mean that I no longer need you; I will _always _need you."

Nick slowly smiled, satisfied with her answer. "So… then can I give you a brotherly hug?" he cautiously asked Sara, standing up, and quietly moving toward her. _I mean, unless this is a bad idea? It might be. I don't know! Do friends and brothers hug? What will Grissom say? Will Sara say no?_

"Of course," she noded, carefully standing up, and walking around the fire pit toward him.

"Are you sure?" he anxiously asked. _Maybe I shouldn't? I still have feelings for her. I don't want her to get the wrong idea, though, that I'm trying to hit on her. I'm not trying to hit on her. I just want the awkwardness to go away!_

"Yes, I'm sure," Sara sighed. _Should I be reading into this more than I actually am?_

Nick chuckled, before carefully wrapping his arms around her. "What will Grissom say?" he asked, half-serious, and half-joking.

"Nick," Sara warned in exasperation. "You're my friend, and Grissom knows that. Relax. Friends hug," she concluded, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Okay," Nick again chuckled, before pulling away from her. "So should we head back to the lake, before they send out the hounds after us?"

Sara smiled. "If you're sure that you're okay?"

"I'm sure. I'm disappointed that I never took Warrick's advice from years ago to talk to you, but I'm glad that we're still friends; very glad, actually," Nick shrugged. "And I'm ready to move on, now. Grissom is like a father to me, and you are one of my best friends; I want both of you to be happy… seriously. And I'm just sorry that I put you in this position in the first place."

"Thank you," Sara grinned. "And don't be sorry. Because now that everything is out in the open, we can begin to move forward," she told him. "It'll probably take some time for all of the awkwardness to completely go away, but at least it will, now that we've spoken."

"Right," Nick agreed. "Absolutely," he started to walk down the path toward the lake.

_I just can't believe that for the past several years, Warrick has known about Nick's little crush on me. Why did he never say anything? Not that it really matters; I'm very happy with Grissom_, she smiled, walking side by side with Nick down the path toward the lake.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	32. The Babysitter

**A/N: **First of all, **warning**: This is a sensitive chapter about Nick's past. It is not really all that graphic, but if you watch CSI, you know what happened to him when he was a boy. Any mistakes about what happened to Nick are my own, because my good friend and CSI fact checker, **QTR**, is on vacation. I just wanted to warn you all that this chapter contains a Nick flashback, and that it could potentially be disturbing. That being said, I still hope that you all enjoy it! Second of all, thank you to all of you who are still reading and/or reviewing this fic. I would especially like to thank **somebody101 **(this chapter is for you!), **wraiths-angel**, **Cherrydrops12**, **odeepblue**, and **disneygal16**, for leaving me a review. I really appreciated it! And last but not least, I am going on vacation this Friday for an entire week, and then my classes begin, so keep your fingers crossed that I can keep writing chapters in a decent amount of time. I absolutely _love _this story, though, and I don't want to stop writing it; I just hope that people other than myself are actually reading it!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_The Babysitter_

---------------

**The Lake**

"Where are they? Where are Nick and Sara?" Grissom quietly asked Catherine, his eyes glued to Warrick and Greg, who were still splashing around in the water. "Shouldn't they be back by now? How long does it take to talk?"

"Gil," Catherine sighed, trying to hide her mounting annoyance. "It's fine, alright? They'll be back when they get back, and then you can talk to Sara; but don't bombard her with questions, got it?" she advised him, raising an eyebrow. "Sara won't find your jealous streak half as amusing as I do."

"I'm not jealous," Grissom immediately told her, his voice calm and steady. "After all," he continued. "'Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul,' according to John Dryden, and I'm not sick."

"Uh-huh," Catherine raised an eyebrow. "And I'm Tina Turner."

Before Grissom could reply to her statement, however, Greg started splashing even louder in the water, swimming toward the shore. "Shark!" he yelled.

Warrick, stunned, just watched him swimming away, clearing his throat. "Uh, Greg? We're swimming in a lake," he tried to point out.

"I know," Greg chuckled. "But I had to get away from you," he told Warrick. "And I knew that you'd let me swim away, thinking that I was an idiot!"

"Well idiot or not, Greggo, here I come!" Nick suddenly shouted from down the path, sprinting toward the edge of the water, and immediately plunging right into it. Using his arm to create a massive wave, Nick aimed the water toward Greg, grinning, when the water hit him right in the chest. _Just don't look at the shore_, he kept telling himself, trying to remain cheerful, but still slightly hurting inside. _Just don't look at Sara and Grissom interact, and you'll be fine. _

"Not fair!" Greg sputtered, the water dripping from his hair. "Sara! I need your help!" he jokingly yelled out, diving under the water, and now trying to swim away from both Warrick and Nick.

Sara, still on the shore, ignored him, as she walked over toward Grissom and Catherine, sitting down beside them. "So, why aren't you two swimming?" she teased.

"I'm going in right now," Catherine flashed her a wry smile. "But lover boy, here," she pointed at Grissom. "Said that he was going to wait for you."

"Catherine," Grissom warned, raising an eyebrow at her. "Go swimming."

Catherine just chuckled, standing up, and heading toward the edge of the water. "Boys, leave Greg alone!" she jokingly yelled at Nick and Warrick. "Don't make me come out there!"

Warrick stopped splashing, squinting up at Catherine. "Damn, is that a threat?"

Catherine shook her head no, slowly walking into the water. "That's a promise, 'Rick."

"Gentlemen?" Greg grinned, looking at Warrick and Nick. "Are you two thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That depends," Nick shrugged. "If you were thinking that it's still time to splash Greggo, then yup, that's what I was thinking!"

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Warrick chuckled, slowly swimming toward Greg's location.

"Hey, now!" Greg whined, trying to swim away from them. "C'mon, that's not fair! Catherine! Help!"

Catherine just raised an eyebrow, sighing. "In a minute, Greg. Let me get used to the water, first!"

"But I could be a drowned rat in a minute!" he tried to explain to her, as he ducked under the water, avoiding a wave from both Nick and Warrick.

Back on the shore, Sara moved closer to Grissom, watching Warrick and Nick trying to splash Greg with water. "So, what are you up to?" she finally asked.

"Catherine says that I'm jealous," Grissom calmly told her, his eyes staring straight ahead of him.

"Oh? And are you?" Sara queried, turning to look at him for a moment, before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I don't think so," Grissom hesitantly told her.

"You don't _think _so?"

"Maybe a little bit," he admitted. "But only because I'm worried that I will lose you; that you'll wake up and realize that you should be with Nick, or Warrick, or Greg, or some other guy, rather than with me. I'm still much older than you are, Sara," he pointed out. "And you have so much more in common with other people."

_I can't keep having this conversation with you, Grissom_, Sara wanted to shout at him in exasperation. _How much more reassurance do you need? _"But I don't _love _other people; I _love_ you. Why can't you understand that?" she asked, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice.

"You're annoyed with me; I'm sorry," Grissom uneasily stated.

"No, I'm not," she sighed. "I'm just frustrated. I love you, and you don't seem to understand that. I love _you_, Grissom; I don't know how to make it any clearer to you. I love _you_, not Nick, not Warrick, not Greg, not Bobby, not Hodges, not—"

"I get the point," Grissom interrupted her, his eyes riveted to the activities taking place in the water.

"Do you?" Sara prodded him. "Do you really? Because I don't want to keep having this conversation with you," she informed him. "I can't; it's too draining."

"Are you saying that _I'm_ too draining?" Grissom persisted, turning to look at her, and regretting the words the moment that they were out of his mouth. _She didn't say that, Gil; she said that the CONVERSATION was too draining._

Sara bit back a retort, closing her eyes, and trying to lower her heart rate, before responding to him. Slowly opening her eyes, she shifted so that she was hunched down in front of him, grabbing both of his hands in her own. "Listen to me," she begged, lightly squeezing his hands. "Are you listening?" she paused, waiting for Grissom to nod his head yes. When he did so, she continued. "Relationships in general are draining; relationships at work are even more draining. But that being said, _you _yourself are not draining, Grissom. I love being around you. I love the way that you make me feel, I love when you kiss me, I love when you hold me, I love when you smile—as rare as that it—and I love when you talk to me. You are worth whatever energy I need to expend in order to convince you that we are worthy of one another, and that we deserve to be with one another, although you really have nothing to worry about. I don't _want _to be with anyone else; I want to be with _you_."

Grissom, his eyes searching Sara's face for the reassurance that she was actually telling him the truth, finally nodded his head in acceptance of her words. "Okay," he acquiesced. "Okay, I believe you, Sara. And for what it's worth, I love you, too," he calmly told her. "And I'd give you a kiss right now, except—" he trailed off, gently squeezing her hands.

"I know," she chuckled, leaning backwards, and standing up, still holding onto his hands. "I know. You just don't want to, in front of everyone else." _You're really not up to showing affection in front of the team, are you? That's okay, though; I can understand how that might be awkward for you… for both of us, really._

Grissom nodded, staring up at Sara. "And I'm not swimming, either."

"Yes, you are," Sara immediately informed him, holding her hand out to him in order to help him up. "You most certainly are."

"No, I'm not," he repeated.

"Yes, you are," she firmly reiterated

Out in the water, Nick unobtrusively watched Grissom and Sara talking, his heart sinking. It was clear to him that the two of them were happy with one another, and he realized that he would have to find a way to move on. _If only things had been different._

"Snap out of it, Nicky," Warrick advised him, catching the expression on his face.

"Yeah," Greg chimed in, swimming over to him.

"I can't, guys," Nick sighed. "I mean, I have to, but it's going to be hard."

"I don't want to tell you that I told you so, man," Warrick sighed. "But—"

Glancing at Greg and Warrick, and making sure that Catherine, Grissom, and Sara were all still far away, Nick bit his lip. "Do you know why I never called Sara, when I realized that I liked her?" he finally asked his two friends.

"No clue, man," Warrick simply replied, his eyes scanning the shore for the rest of the team.

"Because you were a yellow-bellied chicken?" Greg guessed, a smirk on his face.

"No," Nick sighed, sadly shaking his head. "Not at all."

---------------

**Texas, the late 1970s**

"Nicky's got a girlfriend, Nicky's got a girlfriend!" Buzz teased him from across the lunch table.

"I do not!" Nick immediately retorted, his face turning bright red.

"Do, too!" Tony chimed in. "Uh-huh, you do, too!"

"Nuh-uh!" Nick anxiously shouted back, starting to stand up in embarrassment, his lunch tray clutched tightly in between both hands.

"Nicky and Julia, sitting in a tree," Buzz began.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Tony joined in.

"STOP IT!" Nick yelled, backing away from the table, his face turning an even darker shade of red, as he noticed that everyone else in the cafeteria was staring, laughing, and pointing at him.

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage!" More children started to join in the chant.

"C'mon, guys! Cut it out! That isn't funny!" Nick frowned in anguish, not sure what to do, or what to say, to make everyone leave him alone. _Just stop it! That's not nice! You're being so mean! Leave me alone! _He wanted to scream at them all.

"Sucking his thumb," the chant continued. "Wetting his pants! Trying to do the hula dance!"

His face screwed up in embarrassment, Nick tried to hold back his tears, as he ran toward the garbage cans, in order to throw out the remainder of his half-eaten lunch. _I have to get out of here_, he desperately thought to himself. _I just want to get out of here_; _I want to go home! Just let me go home! _So lost in his own thoughts, Nick did not notice the dirty trays strewn around on the cafeteria floor, until it was too late. Stepping in a pile of ketchup, he shrieked, as his foot slid out from underneath him, forcing him to slide into the neatly arranged garbage cans lining the wall.

Before Nick could pick himself back up again, though, the sound of laughter and applause instantly filled his ears.

"5.7!" someone loudly shouted.

"2.5, based on his landing!" someone else yelled out.

Nick, humiliated beyond belief, stood up, running out of the cafeteria. On his way out of the door, however, he couldn't help but notice Julia, his crush, laughing at him, right along with everyone else.

Later that evening, while doing his homework in the safety of his own bedroom, Nick chewed on the eraser of his pencil. "Why me?" he mumbled aloud, lost in thought. "What did I do to deserve that?"

"Why you, what?" Josie, his last-minute babysitter, questioned him, slipping into his room, and softly closing the door behind herself. "Bad day at school?" she kindly asked.

"Uh-huh," Nick replied, his head bent over, as he continued to peer into his social studies textbook. "The worst day ever, actually."

"It couldn't have been _all _that bad," she chuckled, sitting down on his bed.

"You weren't there, Josie; you don't know," Nick sighed, finally turning around to face her.

"Well, why don't you tell me about it, then?" she suggested, patting the bed beside her.

"Really?" Nick asked, his face brightening up ever so slightly. "You mean it? You wanna listen to me?"

"Of course," Josie grinned at him, still patting the bed. "You're my friend, aren't you? And don't friends listen to their friends?" Although Josie was his last minute babysitter, they still knew each other from around the neighborhood.

"Uh-huh!" the nine-year old little boy smiled, immediately hopping off of his desk chair, and eagerly jumping up onto his bed, facing her.

"So what happened?" she quietly prodded him.

"It was bad, Josie," Nick admitted, his face once again contorting into a look of pure pain and embarrassment. Nick trusted and liked his babysitter, and he knew that she would never do anything to hurt him, or to lead him astray. If she told him that what happened was normal, and that it was just a part of growing up, he would whole-heartedly believe her. "It happened in the cafeteria," he whispered.

"Oh?" Josie raised a knowing eyebrow. "There are a _lot _of problems in the school cafeteria," she informed him.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Nick sighed. "But my friends started to tease me, because I like this girl," he told her, turning red.

Josie just chuckled. "You're kinda cute when you're embarrassed, you know that?" she grinned at him.

"Uh, thank you! I think," Nick replied, not entirely sure how to take her comment

"So what happened?" Josie prompted him, ignoring her comment and his reaction to it.

"I ran away from them, and I tripped on some ketchup. I kind of landed in the garbage cans," Nick mumbled, so nervous about his story, that he didn't even notice that Josie had moved closer to him.

"Well, that can certainly be embarrassing," Josie agreed with him. "But Nicky, it isn't the end of the world, you know that?" she asked, gently setting her hand down on his knee. "Stuff happens all of the time at school."

"I know," Nick sighed. "But it was still embarrassing," he repeated himself, glancing down at her hand, which was slowly crawling up his leg. "What are you doing?" he nervously asked, turning his head to look up at her in confusion.

"Just relax," she ordered him. "Just relax, and you'll like it."

"What are you doing?" Nick uncomfortably repeated, trying to pull himself away from her.

"I'm showing you what a real woman can do for you," came her reply.

---------------

**The Lake**

"No shit," Warrick angrily hissed under his breath, staring at Nick. "Are you serious, man?"

"Yeah," Nick sadly frowned, staring down at his reflection in the water. "I was nine, and she was my babysitter. It shouldn't have happened, but it did."

Greg swallowed, not entirely sure what to say in order to make him feel better. "So she just—" he trailed off, tiredly treading water.

"Yeah," Nick nodded his head, the blush once again returning to his face. "Since then, I have sabotaged every great relationship that I have ever had, and I have refused to initiate ones where there is the possibility of success. I just, you know," he mumbled.

"Damn, Nick," Warrick whispered. "I'm so sorry, man, but it wasn't your fault; you know that, right?"

"Yeah, Nick," Greg echoed Warrick. "It wasn't your fault."

"I know that now, I suppose. But in any event, now you both know why I never pursued Sara; I was just too… afraid," he hesitated. "She was—and still is—my friend, and I was too nervous to take the next step with her. Not afraid of her, per say," Nick continued. "But afraid of a serious relationship with a woman."

Greg simply nodded, as Catherine started swimming out toward them. "I don't want to break this up, guys, but we're about to get some company."

"With two other people, besides her," Warrick added, as he watched Grissom and Sara slowly making their way toward them.

"Catherine already knows, but this was between the three of us, got it? I don't want Grissom or Sara to know about the… incident just yet; it's personal," Nick suddenly mumbled under his breath. _Although, if Sara knew, she would certainly understand, and it would go a long way to explaining to her why I never asked her out._

"Yeah, man, fine," Warrick agreed.

"Whatever you say, Nick," Greg sighed, once again staring down at the water.

"Good," Nick tried to smile, as he lightly splashed Greg with a new wave of water, reaching over, and tapping him on the shoulder. "Because tag, you're it!" he told the younger man, before swimming off.

Warrick flashed Greg a surprised look, before following Nick away.

"What's going on?" Catherine asked, as she finally reached Greg's location.

"Not much," Greg admitted. "Except for one thing," he grinned at her.

"What?" Catherine asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lightly punching her in the arm, he yelled, "Tag, you're it!"

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	33. Catherine's Goal: Lindsey

**A/N: **I'm back from vacation (yea!), but as a warning, chapters will probably be written fairly slowly for awhile. My classes begin this week, so… yup! I'll do my best, though! I would also like to thank the following people for their reviews: **odeepblue** (glad ya liked it!), **somebody101 **(Grissom sure does have some trust issues!), **The Lovely Desdemona** (thanks for the info; I changed the previous chapter to go along with what you said, so that the story stays more along true CSI lines. As for your question, the gang has to take Lindsey out, and then something else has to happen. I think. Hehe. Sorry, though, no Greg/Sara!), **Cherrydrops12** (GSR grows on ya after awhile, huh? I'm a total multishipper, but I like the way that their relationship is shaping up! Glad you liked it, too!), **wraiths-angel **(thanks for reading, and you'll see!),and **Beauty in my Breakdown** (thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters!). Happy reading!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Catherine's Goal: Lindsey_

---------------

**On the path back to the campsite**

"That wasn't very nice," Greg grumbled to his colleagues, as they trudged back up the well-worn path to their camp site. "Seriously, why is it always 'pick-on-Greg-day?'" he asked, wrapping the towel more tightly around himself.

"Because it is oh-so-easy, bro," Nick grinned at him, lightly punching him on the shoulder.

"But we only do it because we care," Warrick immediately added with a slight smile.

"Uh-huh," Greg mumbled. "So everyone comes after me during the tag game, because you care? Why didn't you go after Grissom? He would have been 'it' forever!" he pointed out.

Grissom raised an eyebrow, turning around to glance at the younger man. "What are you implying, Greg?" he half joked.

"Uh, nothing?" Greg stuttered.

"That he's older and wiser than you are, right, Greggo?" Catherine asked with a wink of her eye.

"Uh, right," Greg agreed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that's it. That you're older and wiser."

Sara rolled her eyes at Greg, as they neared their campsite, while Nick chuckled.

"Whatever you say, Greg," Grissom told him, standing in the middle of the campsite, and staring at the tents.

"Are we leaving now?" Sara cautiously asked, standing beside Grissom.

"We can't," Greg interjected "We still have more talking to do, don't we?"

"Yes, we are leaving," Grissom answered Sara's question. "And yes, we have some more talking to do."

Warrick squinted at Grissom, before clearing his throat. "So, when are we going to have this discussion? After we load the van?"

"Not quite," he replied, shaking his head no.

"When we get home?" Greg persisted.

"In the van," Catherine spoke up, heading toward her tent. "If we're leaving now, and we still have to talk, then I'm sure that we're going to have this highly enlightening conversation on the way home," she sighed.

Grissom simply nodded, glancing around the fire pit at Nick, Warrick, Sara, and Greg. "The evidence never lies," he commented, before heading toward his own tent.

"What evidence?" Greg muttered under his breath, following his supervisor into their tent in order to pack. "There _was _no evidence."

"Au contraire, young Skywalker," Nick chuckled, unzipping the flap of his own tent. "Logic can be helpful in figuring out the answers, too."

"Uh-huh. Well the Jedi-force must be strong with you, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Greg chuckled, disappearing into his tent.

---------------

**The drive home**

"Alright, everyone," Grissom said from the front passenger seat, as Warrick hopped into the driver's seat. "Last year, we talked about your fears, your hopes, and your dreams, and this year, we've talked about what you like about yourselves. Now, I'd like to take everything one step further. What personal goal would you like to set for yourself?" he asked, turning around in his seat in order to make eye contact with Nick and Greg in the far back seat, and Catherine and Sara in the middle seat. "What would you like to accomplish over the next 365 days?"

"365 and a fourth days," Greg immediately corrected him.

Warrick chuckled from the front seat, glancing at Greg through the rearview mirror. "Way to be specific, man," he commented.

Greg shrugged. "We're scientists," he flashed Warrick a smile. "It comes with the territory."

"Boys, can we stay on task, please?" Catherine asked, glaring at each of them. "So you want to talk about our goals, Gil?"

"I do," he confirmed. "Would you like to go first?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Catherine swallowed, glancing down at her hands for a moment. "It's ironic, you know that?" she questioned everyone.

"What is?" Nick asked, slightly confused.

"My goal," she replied.

"What do you mean?" Greg asked, clearing his throat.

"Well, think back to last year's retreat," Catherine quietly ordered everyone. "My fear was that I was a bad mother, and that Lindsey would have issues. And then," she continued. "My hopes and dreams were for my daughter to be a well-adjusted young woman."

"Right," Sara confirmed, nodding her head. "I remember that."

"Well the truth of the matter is," Catherine frowned. "She has gotten worse over the last year. She's hanging out with an even more potentially harmful group, and our fights are getting worse as the days go by. I'm concerned about her," she admitted. "I really am, and my goal is to get her back on track."

---------------

**The Willows Residence, one year prior**

"Whose party is it? And will his or her parents be there?" Catherine calmly asked her daughter, digging into a large plate of blueberry waffles.

"Just some kids that I know," Lindsey nonchalantly shrugged, picking up her fork, and ignoring the rest of her mother's question.

"_Which _kids, specifically?" Catherine persisted, her mother and criminalist instincts already making her suspicious of the request.

Staring across the table at her mother, Lindsey narrowed her eyes, as if preparing to dig her heels in for a fight. "Just some kids from school, Mom. What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" Catherine slowly repeated the question, raising an eyebrow. "The big deal, Lindsey, is that I'm your mother, and I want to ensure that you remain safe. I need to know who will be at this party, whether or not there will be adults there, and where it is going to take place," she informed her. "I'm not joking around."

Lindsey glared at her mother, setting her fork down, and folding her arms across her chest. "It's Toni Enright's party, her older brother will be supervising, and it's going to be at Greenfield Park," she finally admitted. "Okay? Can I go to now?"

Scooping up another forkful of waffles, Catherine tried to stop the horror from registering on her face. _Toni Enright? Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Brass was telling me about her and her brother just last week! Lindsey can NOT go to that party. Toni, even though she is only sixteen, already has several charges against her relating to drug paraphernalia and dealing. And her brother? Even worse. _Clearing her throat, Catherine took a deep breath, steeling herself up for the worst. "No, Lindsey," she finally said. "I'm sorry, but you can't go to the party."

"Why not, Mom?" Lindsey asked, once again narrowing her eyes in anger.

Catherine bit her lip, staring at the determination in her daughter's eyes. She knew that she couldn't explain about the drug charges—it was told to her in confidence—but maybe she could say something else, instead. "I understand that you're upset, Lindsey, and perhaps even a little bit confused. But you have to trust me that I love you, and that I have my reasons."

"Yeah, that you want to make my life miserable," Lindsey muttered under her breath. "You _always _do this to me!"

"What? No I don't," Catherine softly said. "Lindsey, I love you. But you're only fourteen, the party will be unsafe, and I don't want you to get hurt. I can't let you go to Greenfield Park tonight."

"You're not going to 'let me' go?" Lindsey gruffly asked, lacing each word with the venom and contempt that only a teenager could muster up. "You're not going to 'let me' go to the party?"

"No, I'm not," Catherine confirmed, raising an eyebrow, as if daring her daughter to challenge her even further.

"You're not the boss of me," Lindsey matter-of-factly informed her mother. "And you can't stop me from going, so don't even try."

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Catherine asked, a look of anger instantly flashing into her eyes. "I'm your _mother_, young lady, and that _makes _me your boss!"

"You might be my mother, but you have no say over what I can and cannot do," Lindsey persisted. "So I'm going to that party, whether you give me your permission or not."

"No, Lindsey," Catherine repeated. "You better not step foot outof this house tonight, is that understood?"

Lindsey just started laughing. "And what are you going to do about it? You'll be working, just like you always do; you won't even know that I'm gone."

"Grandma will, though," Catherine told her, starting to feel a little bit hurt. Lindsey was speaking the truth, and she knew it. At last year's retreat, Catherine had admitted that her biggest fear was that she was being a bad mother to Lindsey, and that Lindsey was going down the wrong path, by hanging out with the wrong kids at school. Although Catherine had tried to reconnect with her daughter just after returning home, and despite the fact that things had actually started to improve a little bit, Lindsey once again started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Things were worse than ever in the Willows household, and every day was a constant struggle between the two strong-willed women.

"Grandma falls asleep at eight, Mom," Lindsey pointed out in triumph. "Hang it up, I'm going to that party, and you're not going to be able to do a damn thing to stop me."

"Want to make a bet?" Catherine calmly asked, the tone of her voice not betraying how nervous she truly felt. _Hold strong, because that party is going to be unsafe._

"You can't stop me," Lindsey repeated, this time a bit more hesitantly.

"Perhaps not," Catherine admitted. "But if you _do _go out, expect to see a police car or two at Greenfield Park."

"You wouldn't," Lindsey mumbled. "You wouldn't dare."

"Do I look like I'm lying?" Catherine asked her daughter, staring across the table at her. "Don't call my bluff; I'm doing this for your own safety."

Lindsey immediately stood up from the table, pushing back her chair. "I HATE YOU!" she yelled at Catherine. "I HATE YOU, AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" With that, the young girl stormed out of the kitchen, and stomped up the stairs to her room.

Catherine's breath hitched in her throat, as she stared down at the table in sorrow. She knew that most children uttered those very words at least once in their life time, but hearing them did not make things very easy. "Well I don't hate you," she whispered, a tear starting to slide down her cheeks. "And that's why I can't let you go to the party; I don't want to have to process your dead body."

---------------

**The drive home**

"Wow," Greg cleared his throat, after having listened to Catherine's story. "I'm sorry to hear that she said that to you."

"I am, too," Warrick added. "But Cath, kids say those things all of the time. I understand that hearing her tell you that she hates you and wants you to die is distressing to hear, but it's pretty normal, as I understand it."

"I know," Catherine quietly admitted, once again staring down at her hands. "And it isn't so much that she said those things to me; it's more that she's ignoring what I'm telling her. The parties, the drugs, the kids that she wants to hang out with; it's dangerous, and I can't get her to see that. I don't want anything to happen to her. She's still my baby girl, you know what I mean? I guess my goal for this coming year is to get things with Lindsey back under control."

"I know what you mean," Nick kindly told her. "But you need to keep in mind that you are a great mother, and that you are doing your best to curb her unhealthy behaviors; we'll do our best to help you, as we mentioned before."

Grissom cleared his throat, turning around in his seat in order to once again make eye contact with Catherine. "Right; I'll call Lindsey the moment that we get home," he assured her. "And then perhaps we can all take her out for dinner?" he suggested.

"All of us?" Nick asked. "Won't that intimidate her?"

"Nah, man," Warrick shook his head, studying the road signs in front of him. "It'll be fun."

"Actually," Sara finally spoke up. "Catherine, I don't exactly know how to ask this, but how is she around—" she trailed off.

"Men?" Catherine supplied, raising an eyebrow. "She's pretty flirtatious for a fourteen year old."

"Well, although Grissom is going to talk to her by phone first, what if I took her out tomorrow night, and then perhaps met up with Grissom, Warrick, Nick, and Greg for dinner? That way she might not feel as threatened."

Catherine mulled the idea over, carefully turning her face in order to study Sara's expression. "Do you think that you can, uh, handle her without me?" she cautiously asked.

Sara tried not to frown. _Are you implying that I'm bad with children? _"I know what it's like to try to fit in," she replied. "And I'm female, meaning that she has no one to impress. Let me just take her out miniature golfing or something, and then we'll meet up with the guys for dinner. We might be able to talk to her, without, uh—" _You being around._

"It's okay, I know what you mean," Catherine smiled at Sara. "And it's fine."

"I don't know about this," Nick started to say, before Sara turned around to glare at him. "But I suppose it's worth a try."

"Fine by me," Warrick chimed in.

"Me, too," Greg added.

"That could work," Grissom quietly said. "Or rather, it's a good start."

Catherine nodded, still unsure. "Are you sure that none of you mind taking my daughter out for an evening? It will be better if I am not there, meaning it will just be the six of you plus her."

"We're sure, Cath," Warrick assured her. "Lindsey is a good kid; we just have to figure out what is going on with her."

Catherine nodded, a smile slowly spreading over her lips. "Okay, then. Thank you."

"Any time," Warrick told her. "Any time at all."

After a couple of minutes of silence, Grissom cleared his throat. "Alright, who wants to go next?" he asked.

"I will," Greg chuckled from the back seat.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	34. Goals, Goals, and More Goals

**A/N: **First of all, thank you to everyone who read and/or reviewed the previous chapter. Funny story, though! Okay, not really. But I've had some writer's block with this particular story, and on my way to class today (two hours away), Elton John's "The Retreat" popped onto my ipod. What do you know, words entered my brain! But I was wondering if people were actually still enjoying this story? I'm just trying to figure out if I should keep writing it or not, so… if you like it (or even don't like it), could you by any chance please just let me know? I would really appreciate it! Oh, and just in case Starbucks is not an international chain, it's a coffee shop.

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Goals, Goals, and More Goals_

---------------

**The drive home**

"Okay, Greggo, we're listening," Nick lightly elbowed his colleague in the ribs, smiling at his friend. "So, what's your personal goal for this coming year?"

"Go easy on him, Nicky," Catherine warned him. "There's no need to beat him up just yet, is there?"

"Yeah, Nicky," Greg teasingly echoed Catherine. "Go easy on me!"

Warrick just chuckled, glancing through the rearview mirror at both Greg and Nick. "So what _is _your goal, Greg?" he asked, trying to get everyone back on track. "Does it have anything to do with coffee?"

"Yeah," Sara mused, turning around in her seat to study Greg's expression. "Didn't you mention at least year's retreat that you wanted to open up your own coffee shop?" she raised an eyebrow.

"I did say that," Greg confirmed. "But nope, it actually doesn't have anything to do with coffee," he chuckled. "I want to find someone, or something, to care about."

"What do you mean, Greggo?" Nick curiously asked. "Like, a girlfriend?"

Greg blushed, running a hand through his hair. "No, not exactly."

Catherine raised a confused eyebrow. "Well what, then?"

"I don't know," Greg shrugged, making eye contact with her. "I have work, and I play video games, but I want someone, or something, to take care of! I want people to take me more seriously, and I want to take on more responsibility," he tried to explain himself, but knowing that he was actually making very little sense.

"Greg," Grissom cleared his throat, turning around to study the younger man. "You should want to take care of someone or something for reasons other than to be taken more seriously," he told him. "You should do it because you want—" he trailed off.

"Permanency?" Sara suggested.

"Right," Grissom agreed. "Permanency."

"I know," Greg sighed. "And I _do_ want that, too. I think I just want a cat, though. Or maybe a dog."

Warrick couldn't help but chuckle. "You want a pet, man?"

"Yeah," Greg enthusiastically nodded. "I think I want a calico-colored cat! And I want to name her Starbucks. Yeah, that's my goal," he continued. "To get a cat named Starbucks!"

Nick shook his head, laughing. "You want to name your fictitious cat Starbucks?"

"She is not fictitious!" Greg retorted. "I'm going to buy a cat tomorrow!"

"Don't forget to buy the litter, the food, and the toys," Sara reminded him.

"And the collar," Catherine added, slightly smiling. "But good for you, Greg; really."

"I won't forget," Greg mumbled. "I'm not an idiot."

"We know that, Bro," Nick smiled at him. "But you've also never owned a pet before, so… good luck! Although I know that you and Starbucks will be very happy together," he teased him.

"Yes, we will be," Greg grinned, his eyes wide with excitement. "We will be very happy together! But anyhow, Warrick, tag, you're it!"

"I am, am I?" Warrick replied. "Well ain't that a bitch," he announced, squinting out the windshield at a passing thruway sign. "Well," he mused. "My personal goal for this coming year is to be the best that I can be."

"That's not specific enough, Bro," Nick informed him, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Warrick shot back. "That's my goal," he frowned, staring straight ahead of himself. _I guess it is, anyhow, because I really don't know what my goal could be! I've never really thought about it before. _"I mean," he trailed off, clearing his throat. "Okay, how about this one? I want to travel to New York," he told everyone.

"Uh… why?" Sara hesitantly asked, slightly confused. "What's in New York?"

"Besides sleet, ice, hail, snow, blizzards, rain, thunder, lightning, flash floods, and wind storms," Greg chimed in.

Warrick chuckled. "Well," he shrugged. "You know my little brother?"

"The one from Big Brothers/Big Sister?" Catherine questioned him.

"Yeah," Warrick confirmed. "Well, anyhow, his name is Antoine, and he has never left the inner city. I'd like to take him to New York, you know, just to look around."

"But again, why New York?" Sara repeated her earlier question.

"Because if you recall," Greg interrupted for the second time in as many minutes. "New York has bad weather, bad weather, and more bad weather. So yeah, why New York? Why not take him to San Diego, or some place warm?"

"Because New York has Niagara Falls," Warrick pointed out. "It has parks, mountains, lakes, and Canada is close by. We can walk, and talk, and explore."

"'Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience,'" Grissom finally spoke up. "Ralph Waldo Emerson."

"I like that, actually," Nick mused. "Is that what you're trying to do for him, man? Make him slow down a little bit?"

"Yeah," Warrick confirmed. "I mean, damn. He lives in a neighborhood riddled with violence, noise, and bad influences. I want him to learn how to relax, to understand that there are places of beauty in this world that do not involve picking up a hand gun, and killing someone. Not that he would ever do that," his eyes suddenly widened. "But some of his friends want him to join their gang," he explained.

"So let me get this straight," Catherine cleared her voice. "Your personal goal is to take Antoine to New York State?" she asked, trying to process the small piece of unusual information. "I guess that's admirable," she mused. "But can it really be considered a personal goal?"

"Of course it can be," Warrick immediately replied. "I mean, hell, when I see Antoine trying new things, and having fun, I feel successful in that I got him to stay away from a gang for one more day. He's a good kid, you know? I just want to open his eyes up to something new. And besides, it's no different than you and Lindsey."

"Good point," Catherine conceded. "And good luck."

"Yeah, bro," Nick grinned at him, before returning his attention to the scenery outside of his window. "I hope you enjoy New York, when you get there."

"Thanks," Warrick chuckled, before sighing. "Okay, so who's up?" he then asked, changing the subject.

"I'll go," Nick shrugged. "No big deal, right?" he raised an eyebrow at Greg, who was currently the only person making eye contact with him. "Okay, so let's see," he frowned. "What's my personal goal?"

"That's the question, man," Warrick spoke up. "But only you actually know the answer."

"This is an easy one," Nick continued. "I would like to buy a house, rather than live in an apartment. And aside from that particular personal goal, my professional goal is to attend an academic conference."

"Really?" Grissom asked, raising an eyebrow, and turning around in his seat to study Nick's face. "You've never really expressed an interest in attending a conference before, Nick, but of course you can," he told the younger man.

"What brought this on?" Catherine questioned Nick, equally as surprised as Grissom.

"I don't know," Nick shrugged. "Things change, I suppose; and I feel like I have more in my field to learn. I love what I'm doing, and I think that I can be a pretty good hair and fiber analyst," he continued. "But I just also think that it's time to become my own man, you know what I mean? Start pursuing my own career, rather than worrying about what my parents want of me?"

"Are they still talking to you about you not going into law school, Nicky?" Warrick asked, raising an eyebrow, as he gazed at his friend through the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, they called a couple of weeks ago," Nick sighed. "My mother said that there's an opening in her office, and that I should come back home to them. But that's just it—" he trailed off.

"What's just it?" Sara softly asked.

"My home is here with you guys. I don't want to be a judge, like my father, or a defense attorney, like my mother. I want to be Nicholas Stokes, crime scene investigator. And I'm done trying to be what they want me to be; I am ready to solidify myself in my chosen field, which is why I want to start going to conferences and conventions."

"Aww, our Nick is all grown up," Greg grinned, slightly teasing his friend.

Grissom simply nodded, processing everything that Nick had been telling him. "Okay," he replied. "You can go to a conference or two this year."

"Really?" Nick raised an eyebrow.

Grissom again nodded, still studying his expression, as if searching for the truth. _If you want to better yourself by going to a conference, I can help you with that_. "Yes, Nick. We'll look at the conference catalogue when we get back to the lab, and you can decide what you would like to attend."

Nick slowly smiled, staring down at his hands. "Okay, then. So," he cleared his throat. "Next?"

"I would go," Sara hesitantly spoke up. "Except for the fact that I really don't have any personal goals that I would like to reach at this point in time. I've actually… met them all," she admitted with a small smile.

"That's impossible!" Greg chimed in from the back seat.

"No, it isn't, Greg," Catherine told him, turning around in her seat to glance at him for a moment. "It's just improbable. You really have nothing that you would like to strive for, Sara?" she asked the other woman.

"Not really," Sara shrugged. "I mean, at last year's retreat, I said that my greatest fear was being depressed. I'm not depressed anymore," she informed everyone, smiling at Grissom, who had turned around to look at her. "I have a great job, I have great friends, I have a—uh, well, you know," she slightly blushed.

_Yeah, I'll be you're not depressed anymore_, Nick thought to himself. _You're the one in the relationship._

"Well, I'm glad that you've found happiness," Catherine spoke up, looking over at Sara. "Happiness can keep you sane."

"And normal," Sara added. "Being normal was my hope from last year, if you all remember." _Not that being in a relationship is necessary to me finding normalcy_, she thought to herself.

"I remember that, girl," Warrick nodded, glancing at her through the rearview mirror. "You said that you just wanted to have a normal life, right?"

"Yes, which I do," Sara again smiled. "I'm in a good place in my life," she trailed off, before remembering that Nick was sitting in the back seat; things were still slightly awkward between them, and she did not want to further upset him. _I'm in a loving, stable, and very normal relationship_. "I'm in a good place in my life," she repeated. "And I like that; I just hope that it continues."

"So do I," Grissom spoke up. _I like it when you're happy; you being happy makes me very happy_. "But you really don't have any goals?" he prodded, raising an eyebrow at her.

Clearing her throat, Sara sighed. "Well, I suppose that I wouldn't mind improving my self-esteem a little bit; you know, believing that I have value, which is one of my weaknesses," she reminded everyone. "But that will come with time, I think."

Catherine nodded. "Yes, it will. But remember, Sara, you _do _have value."

"Yeah," Greg agreed. "You have a lot going for you," he pointed out. "You're smart, you're talented, you're—"

"I know," Sara chuckled, turning around to look at Greg. "I know, and thank you; I just have to learn how to see it for myself… which I will, with time."

"Your turn, Grissom," Nick spoke up. "What's your goal?"

Grissom, his eyes closed in contemplation, frowned. "I'm not sure," he finally admitted, cracking one eye open.

"Come on, Grissom," Warrick raised an eyebrow. "You must have some idea. Besides, last year, you never even told us what your hopes and dreams were."

"Hey, that's right," Greg nodded. "You said that you needed more time to think!"

"And I still do," Grissom quietly replied.

"Are you sure that you're just not afraid to tell us, Gil?" Catherine softly asked. "Because I get the feeling that you're trying to avoid us." _What kind of an example are you setting? _she wanted to ask him.

_Don't you trust us?_ Nick thought to himself, staring down at the ground. _I mean, what are we going to do? We're not going to laugh at you or anything._

"I would just rather, uh," Grissom cleared his throat, slightly blushing.

"What?" Greg prodded him.

"I would just rather not say right now," he calmly informed everyone, rubbing his beard. "It's—" _Personal_.

"It's what?" Catherine tried to prompt him, frowning, as he turned around to stare at her. "What are you so worried about?" she pressed him.

"I'm not worried about anything," he replied. "It's just personal."

"It was personal for all of us, though, too," Warrick reminded him, making a turn off of the thruway.

"I understand that, but," Grissom sighed, swallowing, and remembering a quote from Simone Signoret: 'Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.' _And that's just it_, he thought to himself. _In one year's time, I would like to be married to Sara. But how can I tell everyone else that, before I've even had the chance to process my own thoughts and feelings? No, it's best to remain quiet on this one._

"Fine, Gil," Catherine sighed. "If you don't want to share with us, that's fine. But if you ever change your mind, you know where to find us."

"We're really going to let him get away with not sharing?" Greg asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't believe it!"

"Remember, though, Greg. Grissom always told us that we never really _had _to share; we just all chose to do it," Warrick pointed out. _I guess that this is just another example of Grissom not trusting us_.

_I know, but_, Nick frowned, furrowing an eyebrow. _What could his goal possibly be, that he does not feel comfortable enough to share it with all of us? Is it about… Sara?_

_You'll tell me later…_ Sara thought to herself. _I hope so, anyhow. No secrets between us, remember? That's what you told me._

Before Grissom had the chance to say anything further, however, Greg turned around in his seat, and grabbed the bag of marshmallows from the back of the van. Peeling it open, and dipping one hand in, he plucked out two of the gooey treats, immediately popping them into his mouth. "Excellent," he mumbled to himself.

"That's gross, man," Nick muttered, watching Greg eat the marshmallows.

"But they're good," he repeated, swallowing what he had his mouth.

"Toss those up here," Sara ordered them.

"Please?" Nick rolled his eyes at her.

"Now," Sara grinned, smiling, as Greg actually handed the bag over. "Thanks, Greg!"

"Welcome," he replied, before throwing a marshmallow at her head.

"Oh, you _so _did not just do that!" Sara laughed, turning around in her seat, and glaring at him.

"I do believe he did, girl," Warrick chuckled.

Tossing another marshmallow at Sara, Greg raised an eyebrow. "And what are you going to do about it?" he asked.

"This!" Sara shouted, as she grabbed a handful of marshmallows, pelting Greg with them one at a time.

"Hey!" he shouted.

"You started it, Greg," Catherine reminded him. "You started it."

_Marriage; I have to find a way to propose to Sara_, Grissom anxiously thought to himself, rubbing his beard, and ignoring the antics of his team. _And hopefully, she'll say yes, once I do._

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TO BE CONTINUED 


	35. A Night of Firsts

**A/N: **Hey, thanks to everyone who replied to the previous chapter. I guess I just wanted to make sure that people were still enjoying this story, even though I'm technically writing for myself… if that makes any sense! But thanks to: the **swedhis aliasfan **(I won't stop just yet! I still have some more things to say, I think); **odeepblue** (I'm glad you liked it, and it's coming soon!); **somebody 101 **(thanks for your continued support!), **wraiths-angel** (GSR kind of grows on you after time, I think! But I'm glad you're still enjoying it. Oh, this is basically one massive GSR chapter, so prepare yourself now!); **JenB **(I really appreciate your opinion; thanks for leaving it!); **anneruhland **(Starbucks.. hehe. It could have been Dunkin' Donuts, so I think the cat got lucky!);** Brightfang **(thanks for your encouragement, and I'm glad you're liking this!); **The Lovely Desdemona** (I know, I know, and you're not Swiss cheese! None of you are, which is part of the reason why I keep trying to write chapters! And a marshmallow fight? YOU JUST GAVE ME THE BEST IDEA! Mwahaha…). **San **(We're not quite done yet! Hang in there!).

The dolphin facts came from the Dolphin Institute .org!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_A Night of Firsts_

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**The drive home**

"What's that noise?" Nick asked from the back of the van, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"I'll give you one guess, man," Warrick replied from the driver's seat, staring at Nick through the rearview mirror.

"No, that's impossible," Nick mumbled, yawning.

"Nope, nope it isn't! Welcome to my world!" Greg chuckled, sitting forward in his seat.

"Are you serious?" Catherine asked, glancing up at Grissom. "Does he really snore that loudly?"

"Uh-huh!" Greg confirmed. "Uh-huh, he does. Doesn't it sound like a bear, trying to move a large boulder or something?"

Sara raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. _This is nothing, really; I've heard worse. _"It's more like a bear with a severe head cold," she spoke up.

"Well, make him stop, man," Nick grumbled. "I'm really tired."

"And again, welcome to my world," Greg laughed. "And for the record? I call dibs on a new tent mate next year."

"I'm not sleeping with him," Warrick immediately shook his head no.

"Neither am I," Nick added.

"Well, I'm sure as hell not staying with him," Catherine announced.

"Sara? I'll arm-wrestle you for the joy of sharing a tent with Grissom."

"Nah, I think I'm good, thanks, though, Greg," she grinned at him, glancing over at Catherine. "Tent mate?"

"Tent mate," Catherine agreed.

"Hey, Nick?" Warrick called out.

"Yeah, man?"

"Tent mate?"

"You betcha," Nick chuckled.

"That's not fair," Greg grumbled, frowning, as Grissom's snores seemed to intensify in sound.

"But it sure is funny," Nick laughed.

"Uh-huh," Greg sighed. "Right."

Thirty minutes later, Warrick pulled up in front of Greg's apartment, putting the car in park. "Good luck with the cat shopping tomorrow, man," he nodded at him, as his colleague dragged his suitcase out of the trunk of the van. "Are you really going to do it?"

"Yeah, I think so," Greg replied. "And actually, I was wondering if anyone wanted to come along with me?"

"I would," Warrick apologized. "But I have some work to do."

"And so do I," Catherine added, glancing up at Warrick for the briefest of moments. "But I would definitely like to see your cat, once you get her."

Greg nodded, looking over at Nick. "What do you say?" he asked his friend. "Lunch, and then the pet store?"

Nick pursed his lips together for a moment, thinking about Greg's suggestion. "Sure, might be kind of fun," he finally admitted with a smile. "But I'm not carrying all of the heavy stuff, understood, man?" he added.

Greg just rolled his eyes as he closed his door, and poked his head back through the open window. "I'll see you tomorrow at eleven in the morning, then. I'll pick you up?"

"Sounds like a plan, Greggo; sounds like a plan."

"Goodnight, Greg," everyone except for Grissom chorused. Grissom simply continued to snore.

Ten minutes later, Warrick glanced at Catherine through the rearview mirror. "You're up," he smiled at her, pulling up to her house. And then after catching her expression, he raised an eyebrow. "It'll be fine; we promise you."

"I know," Catherine sighed. "I'm just uneasy about this whole situation. But you're right; everything will be okay," she tried to smile at Nick, Sara, and Warrick.

"Just get some rest, Cath," Nick advised her. "And then Grissom will give Lindsey a call tomorrow evening, after she gets home from school."

"Right," Catherine simply nodded, climbing out of the van. "Goodnight, everyone!"

"Night," they replied, before Warrick headed off toward Nick's place.

After arriving at his place ten minutes later, Nick cleared his throat. "So, uh, I guess I'll talk to you both tomorrow?" he asked, trying not to stare at Sara as he got out of the van. _This still stinks_, he bitterly thought to himself, grabbing his gear. _Time, just give me some time._

"Yup, and have a nice night," Sara smiled at him, missing the hurt expression on his face.

"Yeah, you, too. And bye, Rick," he mumbled.

"Night, Nicky…" Warrick trailed off, before pulling out of his apartment complex. _You've got to get over her, man. Seriously. Who can I set you up with? _Shaking his head for a moment, Warrick then glanced over his shoulder at Grissom. "So, should we wake him up?"

"No," Sara chuckled. "Just let him sleep. We can drop you off next, and then I'll take care of it from there," she shrugged.

"You sure, girl?" Warrick raised an amused eyebrow.

"I'm sure, Warrick," Sara grinned, holding back another soft chuckle. "Just go… I'm getting tired."

Warrick nodded, as he sped off toward his own place, arriving in his driveway ten minutes later. "If you're sure—" he repeated, frowning at Sara.

"I'm not only sure," Sara told him. "But I'm positive, too," she added, climbing up to the driver's seat. "Talk to you later," she told him.

"Yeah, later," Warrick grinned, before swaggering off toward his front door.

Fifteen minutes later, Sara pulled into her own parking lot, lightly shaking Grissom. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty," she teased him. "Wake up."

"What?" Grissom snorted, snapping to attention.

"We're at my place. Hop out, and come have a cup of coffee with me," she suggested, already getting out of the van.

Grissom yawned, before unbuckling himself, and getting out. "Have I been sleeping for long?" he asked, stretching.

"A couple of hours," Sara shrugged, locking the van's doors, and grabbing her luggage out of the trunk. Walking to the front door of her apartment, she chuckled, as she walked right in, Grissom on her heels.

"What's so funny?" he suspiciously asked her.

"Nothing," she smiled, depositing her keys by the front door. "But the entire team now knows how lovely your snoring sounds."

"Oh," Grissom sheepishly replied. "I see," he added, as he passed Sara, moving into her living room. Sitting down on one of her couches, he waited for her to join him.

"Does you sitting there remind you of anything?" she softly asked, immediately sitting down beside him, and lightly kissing his cheek.

"Ecklie," he simply replied, as he wrapped his arms tightly around Sara. "Oh, and of you, of course," he amended his answer.

**---------------**

**The fourth date, ten months prior**

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Grissom cautiously asked Sara, as they stood on top of the Stratosphere, waiting for their turn to ride the famous rollercoaster. "We don't have to, really," he added, glancing over at her with something akin to concern etched onto his face.

"No, it's okay," Sara absentmindedly replied, as she watched a group of people slide into the coaster. Thanks to work and other outside commitments between the two, it had been almost a month since their last date, and she was not about to ruin it for anything."This thing _is_ safe though, right?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Of course it is," Grissom replied, as he stood just beside her. "The mechanics check it out every day, and it is one of the safest coasters in the country."

"You can't possibly know that for sure," Sara nervously smiled, turning to look up at him for a moment.

"Would I lie?" Grissom asked, raising an eyebrow, as they moved forward in line. "But I have to admit it, Sara, you do look extremely uneasy."

"I'm fine; this is just my first time riding this thing," she reminded him. "And besides, a deal is a deal, right?" she asked, as another group of people climbed into the coaster. "After this, we're off to the Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat."

"I suppose so," Grissom mused. "Although I don't understand the reference to the 'secret garden.' Can it really be considered a secret, if the entire city knows about this place?"

Sara rolled her eyes at him, as the occupants of the previous trip exited their seats, leaving room for her and Grissom to sit down. "I guess this is it," she commented, as she hesitantly sat down on her seat.

"You'll be fine," Grissom assured her, securing the restraints around himself.

"Yeah, for your sake, I hope so," Sara mumbled, as she locked herself into place, and the attendant hit the switch, starting the ride.

Grissom tried not to chuckle at her obvious discomfort, as he glanced over the side of the rollercoaster. "We're pretty high up here," he commented, as their car crawled up an especially high hill.

"Shut up," Sara told him, as she screwed her eyes tightly shut. "I didn't think that I had a fear of heights, but, uh," she cleared her throat, only opening her eyes when she felt Grissom's hand covering her own.

"Just try to relax, and enjoy the view, Sara," he calmly told her, before gazing back down at the city lights.

_Right, easy for you to say_, she thought to herself, as she glanced over the side of the rollercoaster. _Shit! What would possess someone to build a fast-moving object all the way up here? And what if it falls? _She continued. _We're so high up here, that we wouldn't even survive the impact!_

Grissom turned to look at Sara, trying to hide his amusement. _I can't believe that you're this scared of a rollercoaster. Then again, I can't believe that I'm finding this funny; I'm just used to you being so strong with everything_. _What I wouldn't give to—_his mind trailed off, causing a slight blush to permeate his otherwise stoic expression.

Minutes later, when the rollercoaster rolled to a stop back at the gate, Sara let out an extremely relieved sigh. "Well that was, uh, fascinating," she told him, climbing out of the car on slightly shaky legs.

"Yes, it was," Grissom replied, still somewhat distracted.

"Grissom? Are you okay?" she asked, a little bit concerned.

"I'm fine," Grissom assured her, as he pointed toward the elevator to get back down to the ground. "Are you ready for the dolphin habitat?"

"Yeah, I am," Sara smiled at him. _Where did your mind go to all of a sudden? Did something just happen that I'm unaware of? _"I think you'll like the dolphin show," she added, as they entered the elevator. Quietly sliding one of her hands into his, she frowned, when she noticed him studying their hands as if something was wrong with them. "Grissom? What's going on?"

"What? Nothing," Grissom shook his head.

"Do you, uh, not want to hold my hand for some reason?" she asked in confusion. _This isn't anything new to us, so what's the problem?_

"It isn't that," Grissom hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness with his free hand.

"Then what is it?" Sara tried to press him.

"Nothing," he quietly replied, as he walked her out of the elevator, and toward his car. "Nothing at all," he repeated, opening the passenger-side door for her, and waiting for her to get situated.

_If nothing's wrong, then why do you suddenly look so unsure of yourself? Why are you being so quiet, and why can't you just talk to me? _Sara wanted to ask him. But she knew that Grissom did not have the ability to come right out and say whatever it was that was on his mind; he needed to process his own thoughts, before he could share them with her. _Maybe someday_, she wistfully thought to herself. _Maybe someday, you'll be able to confide in me almost immediately_. "Okay," Sara simply said, staring out of the window, as they drove to the Mirage.

Pulling into the parking lot, Grissom again anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, before hopping out. _I really just want to, uh—_he tried to tell himself. _Can I just, you know?_ "Ready?" he swallowed, as he took a couple of steps toward the hotel, and waited for Sara to catch up to him. Not bothering to hold out his hand for her, he started to walk toward the habitat, a slight frown on his face.

_What the hell is wrong with you? _Sara wanted to ask, glancing over at him in confusion. _You went from slightly flirting with me, to comforting me, to completely isolating yourself from me. What happened while we were on that rollercoaster?_ Sara followed Grissom in silence, waiting for him as he paid their admittance fees. "So, uh, where would you like to sit?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"In the back?" Grissom suggested. "It's more… private up there," he hesitantly explained.

Sara slowly nodded her agreement, before flashing him a small smile. "Are you sure you're okay?" she tried to prompt him again.

"I'm fine," he gruffly replied, before shyly grabbing her hand.

_Then why are your hands so sweaty? _Sara asked herself, raising an eyebrow in surprise. _No, something is definitely up with you._ "Okay," she shrugged as they walked down the path toward the dolphin exhibit. "Then the back it is," she added, as they climbed the bleachers to take a seat.

"Did you know that bottlenose dolphins have between 88 and 100 cone-shaped teeth?" Grissom asked, sitting down beside Sara.

"No, can't say that I knew that," Sara smiled, gently squeezing his hand, as she rested their hands on his knee. "But did you know that adult bottlenose dolphins are anywhere from eight to twelve feet long?"

Grissom chuckled, glancing down at their joined hands. "No, I didn't know that," he replied, trying to hide his growing discomfort. "But they are very fascinating creatures; very humanistic in nature."

"True," Sara agreed, studying his face for a moment, before looking down at the currently empty dolphin habitat. _I wish that you'd just tell me what was going on in your mind_, she sighed to herself.

"Can I kiss you?" Grissom suddenly blurted out, immediately turning a deep shade of red as he attempted to avoid Sara's gaze.

"Wh-what?" Sara whispered in surprise, turning to look at him.

Grissom cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Can I kiss you?" he repeated his question, staring down at the ground in embarrassment.

"Is that what's been bothering you for the last hour?" Sara hesitantly questioned him, holding back a chuckle of relief. "I could tell that something was wrong, but I had no idea—" she trailed off.

"It's okay, I understand," Grissom sighed, slowly releasing Sara's hand from his own.

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking at him in confusion.

"You don't want me to; I understand," he told her.

"Grissom, I never said that," Sara pointed out.

"But you said—"

"That I knew something was up with you, but that I didn't know what it was. Grissom," Sara cleared her throat. "You don't have to ask me to do things like this. Hell, we've been dating for two months now, and the most that we've ever done together is to hold hands, with the occasional awkward hug. You don't have to ask to kiss me; that's a part of being in a relationship," she encouragingly smiled at him. _Besides, I've wanted you to kiss me for over ten years now… ever since you gave that lecture at Harvard. _

"But do you want me to?" Grissom persisted, his face flushed, as he continued to stare down at the ground.

Sara slowly nodded, hesitantly lifting his chin up so that he would be forced to look at her. "Why are you so nervous?" she quietly questioned him, blinking. "It's just you and me sitting here," she told him, tuning out the other people who were starting to join them for the upcoming dolphin show.

"This is a little out of my comfort zone," Grissom admitted. "Not the act of kissing itself, but the act of kissing you—in public."

"You don't have to kiss me, then," Sara whispered.

"I know, but—" Grissom licked his lips, leaning toward Sara. "But I want to—if you want me to, that is."

Sara again nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. "Then go ahead."

Grissom very carefully leaned even closer to Sara, his lips barely grazing hers.

"It's okay," Sara repeated, as she moved a fraction of an inch closer to Grissom.

Before he actually had the opportunity to fully press his lips to hers, he heard someone coughing from a couple of rows below them. "Gil? Ms. Sidle?" came Ecklie's un-amused voice.

---------------

**The present**

"I couldn't believe his expression," Sara grinned, resting her head against Grissom's chest. "I thought that he was going to drop-dead with a heart attack right then and there." _And actually, how'd you get him to let us continue dating, anyhow? I'll have to ask you about that later on. I just don't want to ruin the mood that we have going on, because I'm sure that you had to go through a lot to smooth things over with him._

"I know," Grissom nodded, as he very gently rubbed Sara's back. "And I was furious with him for ruining the moment."

"That's okay," Sara shrugged, turning her face to look up at him for a moment. "You made up for it later on, if I do recall."

"I did, didn't I?" Grissom chuckled, remembering what happened next.

---------------

**The fourth date, later that night**

"That wasn't good, Sara," Grissom anxiously told her, as they walked back to his car after the dolphin show. "I'm your boss, and he's my boss."

Sara raised an eyebrow, climbing into the car. "We weren't doing anything wrong, Grissom. It's not like we were going to do anything illegal; you were just going to kiss me," she pointed out. _A kiss which Ecklie so very nicely ruined_.

"I know, but—" Grissom sighed, sliding into the driver's seat, and putting the key in the ignition. "But now he has something else to document against the two of us: fraternization between superior and subordinate."

Sara stared out the window for a moment, waiting for Grissom to start driving. "So what if he knows?" she suddenly asked. "He's an ass, and this is none of his business!"

"But he's still in charge of the lab," Grissom reminded her. "We need to be more discrete."

"No," Sara shook her head. "I refuse to live my life in hiding."

Grissom furrowed an eyebrow, clearing his throat. "So what do you propose that we do?" he softly asked her.

"I propose that you kiss me," Sara instantly replied. "Right here, right now."

"What…?" Grissom asked, staring straight ahead. "But we're in a car right now."

"People _do _kiss in cars, Grissom," Sara gave him a wry grin.

"I know, but—" he swallowed in unease.

Sara bit her lip, staring down at her hands. "You wanted to kiss me out by the dolphins, right?" she quietly asked him.

"Yes," Grissom replied without hesitation.

"And now we're in the isolation of your own personal car. Why don't you want to kiss me anymore?"

"I do, but—" he tried again. "There's nothing special about kissing in a car. We're not teenagers anymore," he told her. "You've waited for me to do this for quite some time now, right?"

"Yeah?" Sara replied, almost as if asking a question of her own, rather than answering his.

"Then wait ten more minutes, until we're back at your place," Grissom frowned, putting the car into gear, and pulling out of the parking lot.

Sara raised her eyebrow in surprise, a smile once again gracing her lips. "Okay," she agreed.

Twenty minutes later, Grissom and Sara were both sitting on her couch, with Grissom staring at her in slight discomfort. "This would have been so much easier to do at the dolphin show," he mused.

"Why?" Sara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because then it would have been a surprise," he sighed. "Now, I'm thinking about it too much."

"Yeah, don't think about it," Sara smiled at him. "Just do it."

Grissom nodded, as he leaned in toward Sara. "But this is so difficult," he muttered under his breath.

"No more difficult than any other woman you've ever kissed," Sara whispered to him, as his lips just barely touched hers.

"Yes, it is," Grissom quietly replied. "This time it actually means something," he swallowed, before pressing his lips to hers for the first time.

---------------

**The Present**

"I was definitely surprised, you know?" Sara smiled up at him.

"So was I," Grissom admitted. "I'm not usually that… bold about things."

"Could have fooled me," Sara chuckled, pulling away from him for a moment. "So I guess you need to be leaving now…?" she sighed, glancing at the clock. Grissom usually hated to stay after midnight, on non-work nights.

"Yes," he confirmed, pulling Sara back to himself for a moment, and not bothering to get up from the couch. "But have a good night," he told her, as he once again lightly pressed his lips to hers.

"I will," Sara smiled, pulling away from Grissom. "And you, too." Standing up, and walking him to her apartment door, she looked up at him. "You _can _stay, you know…" she whispered. "You don't always have to leave."

"I know," Grissom nodded, gently brushing his hand against her face. "And I appreciate that fact; but I have a lot of work to do tonight, and I wouldn't want to bore you with all of the details." _And staying with you always proves difficult for me, because then I feel, uh_, he tried not to blush. _Let's just say that I have a difficult time controlling myself around you, and I'm afraid to actually have sex with you. And as much as I'm sure that you would understand my rationale once you find out what it is, I need to build up enough courage to mention it—which won't be tonight._

Sara frowned, opening the door for him. "Another time, maybe?" she softly asked. Even though they had been dating for over a year now, Grissom had only spent a handful of non-sexual nights with her, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why he couldn't stay more often. _If I didn't know you any better,_ she thought to herself, _I'd think that you were trying to avoid me_. _But you're not, right? I know that you like to move slowly, I mean, hell, it took us two dates just to hold hands, three dates just to hug, and two months just to start kissing, but… how slowly do you feel like moving? Is there something wrong with me? You even told me that you loved me; you do love me, right? Because, I love you, and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone other than you._

"Another time, definitely," Grissom assured her with a slight smile. "And before I forget," he continued, suddenly stopping in his tracks. "I was wondering if you'd like to go back to the butterfly observatory with me in the next couple of months? I have some, uh, research that I would like to conduct, and I could really use your help with it."

"Sure," Sara agreed with a smile, kissing him once more. "I'd love to."

"Good," his eyes twinkled. "And goodnight, Sara, I love you," he nodded, kissing her once more.

"Goodnight, love you, too," Sara sighed in confusion, closing the door behind him.

As he was walking down the hallway, Grissom started to panic. _That will be one hell of a date when it happens, that's for sure_. _Although… _he frowned. _What if she says no, because we've never crossed that intimacy boundary before? What if she doesn't think that I'm seriously in love with her? I only told her that I loved her for the first time this weekend! Maybe I shouldn't propose to her. I need to think about this, and possibly talk to someone. _Swallowing heavily, Grissom left Sara's apartment building, glancing at her door once more in anxiety, before getting into the van, and leaving.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	36. The Reason

**A/N: **This would have been up much earlier, but my friend and I are writing a story just for fun, and I got that plot line stuck in my head! Also, this is another unusual chapter for me. I really feel like I've gotten away from my original intent for the Retreat (that of having the team members talk, and get to know one another), but who's to say that people never deviate from their plans? Regardless, the events in this chapter take place before whatever is going to happen in tonight's season seven opener. And if what I think is going to happen actually happens, I'll incorporate that later on! Thanks goes to everyone who is continuing to read this story, and to: **odeepblue** (you'll find out soon enough), **wraiths-angel **(yup, you'll see 'em shop!), **anneruhland** (hey, tell my professors to stop assigning homework, and I'll write more! **QTR **(yer the bestest!), and **The Lovely Desdemona **(funny you should mention that, because a friend of mine was on an upside down roller coaster awhile back, and his harness failed. He was just sitting in the seat the entire time, terrified that he would fall out!).

---------------

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_The Reason_

---------------

**Present time, 7:30 am**

"I don't want to talk to him," fourteen year old Lindsey mumbled under her breath, as she brushed her teeth early the next morning. "In fact," she continued, making sure to speak loudly enough so that her very tired mother could hear her. "I don't want to speak to _any_ of them, and no one can make me!" Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Lindsey pouted. _Life's not fair. Why bother even trying to change what's what? _She asked herself, angrily setting her toothbrush down, and picking up her hair brush. _Everyone that I love eventually dies anyhow, so I'm just going to continue living my life the way that I want to live it._

"Why don't you want to speak with him?" Catherine softly interrupted her daughter's thoughts, poking her head into the bathroom. "Or to any of them, for that matter?"

Lindsey scowled, not bothering to look up at her mother. "I just don't want to, okay? What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" Catherine tiredly asked, raising a confused eyebrow. "You're my daughter, that's the big deal. I love you, Lindsey, and I want you to have everything that you want or need in life."

"Well I don't need Un— Gil calling me, that's for sure," she muttered, throwing her hair brush back into the cabinet, and storming past her mother, who was still standing in the doorway with a dazed expression on her face. _And why the hell did I almost call him 'Uncle Gil?' It's not like he even cares about me anymore, either. He wouldn't even be calling me in the first place, if it weren't for my mother._

"Lindsey," Catherine sighed, following her daughter down the hallway and into the kitchen. "So then tell what it is that you need?" Walking over to the refrigerator, she pulled out a couple of raw eggs, setting them on the counter, while reaching for the frying pan in the uppermost corner cabinet. Glancing over her shoulder at Lindsey for the briefest of moments, Catherine thought that she saw a flicker of hurt on her daughter's face, before her eyes almost instantly hardened against her mother's concerned gaze.

"I need you to back off and leave me alone, that's what I need," the fourteen year old bitterly replied, before walking out of the kitchen, and toward the front of the house. Moments later, she flung the door open, slamming it shut behind her.

Catherine stared at Lindsey's retreating form, waiting for her to walk out of the house. Eventually, when she knew that her daughter was long gone, she picked up the eggs, and angrily threw them into the sink. "Damn it!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "Damn it," she whispered again.

---------------

**Present time, 4:00 pm**

"I don't think that now is the best time to talk to her anymore, Gil," Catherine hesitantly told him, rubbing the back of her neck in frustration.

"Why not?" Grissom asked with a frown, holding his office phone to his ear. "Didn't we agree that I would speak to Lindsey today? Is she home from school yet?"

"Yeah, she's home, but she's—" _locked herself in her room. _"She didn't have a very good day."

"Did something happen to her?" Grissom cautiously asked.

Catherine sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "She blew up at me this morning," she finally admitted to her friend and colleague, sitting down at the couch. "And then when she came home from school, she handed me a note from her teacher. She blew up at several of her classmates, Gil—" Catherine trailed off. "She almost started a fight, right then and there. The teacher cut her some slack, given everything that has happened to her in the past couple of years, but she made it clear that this would be Lindsey's last chance. What am I going to do with her?"

Grissom cleared his throat, closing the file that had been open in front of him. "You're going to let me talk to her, that's what you're going to do," he told her. "Can you put her on the line, please?"

"No," Catherine hesitantly replied. "I mean, I can try, but I can't guarantee that she'll pick up," she added, getting to her feet, and trudging down the hallway to Lindsey's room. Softly knocking on the door, she glanced at the ceiling for a moment to collect her thoughts. "Lindsey?" she called out, cradling the phone against her chest. "Gil is on the phone for you, honey."

"I don't want to talk to him!" Lindsey shouted back, burying her head underneath her pillow.

"But he wants to talk to you, honey," Catherine tried again, almost pleading with her daughter to pick up the phone. "Just talk to him for a couple of minutes."

"No, and you can't make me!" the teenager instantly shot back.

"Did you catch all of that, Gil?" Catherine quietly asked him, trying to mask her own frustration.

"Yes, I did," Grissom replied, biting his lip in thought. "Do me a favor, though. I want you to tell her something for me, okay?"

"Sure, whatever," Catherine shrugged. _But apparently, it won't matter. She's still just going to do whatever she wants to do._

"Tell her that I said 'the sun will come out.'"

"…What?" Catherine asked him in confusion, trying to figure out what those words, aside from the obvious, could possibly mean.

Grissom tried not to chuckle. "Just tell her that the 'sun will come out,' Cath, just like that."

Knocking on Lindsey's door again, Catherine cleared her throat, raising an eyebrow. "Honey, Gil told me to tell you that 'the sun will come out.' What, uh, what does that mean?"

Lindsey blinked. "What did he say?" she asked her mother, her query coming out in muffled tones.

Catherine furrowed her eyebrows in puzzlement, leaning closer to her daughter's locked door. "He said that 'the sun will come out.'"

_Hell, no,_ Lindsey thought to herself, throwing her pillow down on the floor, and walking over to her bedroom door. Flinging it wide open, she immediately grabbed the phone from her mother, holding it against her ear.

Back in his office, Grissom listened to Catherine's side of the conversation, frowning, when he thought that he heard rustling against the phone. "Catherine? What's going on?" he asked. But he got no response. "… Lindsey?" he tried again. "Is that you? Are you there?"

"Do you honestly believe that you can get me to do whatever you want, Uncle Gil, just by reciting that one stupid line?" she muttered under her breath, refusing to make eye contact with her mother.

Catherine just stood in the middle of the hallway, watching her daughter with a dumbfounded expression on her face. _Stupid line? What does that 'one stupid line' refer to? And 'Uncle Gil?' Thank God for small miracles,_ she thought to herself, taking a step away from her daughter, but staying in the vicinity.

The fact that Lindsey had referred to him as 'Uncle Gil' was not lost on Grissom, either, and the realization that a part of her still trusted him helped him feel a little bit more at ease with what he was trying to do. "Whoever said anything about getting you to do something against your will?" he calmly asked her.

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Uncle Gil, and that crap won't work on me like it used to!" Lindsey continued to shout at him through the phone.

"Lindsey, I know that you're not a little girl anymore, and I'm not trying to get you to do anything in particular. And for the record, _Annie _is one of the best musicals ever made."

"…What?" Lindsey asked, her face contorting into a look of pure confusion as she tried to figure out what Grissom was doing.

_Whatever you're doing, Gil, keep it up_, Catherine thought to herself, trying not to eavesdrop on her daughter's side of the conversation, but unintentionally doing so, none-the-less. Convinced that Lindsey was no longer going to throw the phone through the window, she retreated to the relative safety and comfort of her own bedroom, leaving the door open… just in case.

"_Annie_," Grissom repeated his statement. "Is one of the best musicals ever made."

Lindsey wrinkled an eyebrow, biting her lip. "You're still just trying to get me to talk, Uncle Gil, and I don't want to."

"… Oh?" Grissom questioned her, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What makes you think that I'm trying to get you to talk?"

"I'm also not stupid, and you know that," she mumbled into the receiver, walking back into her bedroom, and throwing herself down on her bed. "You know damned well that you used to sing that song to me whenever you babysat for Mom."

"Is that a fact?" Grissom asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Uh-huh! Don't you remember?" Lindsey incredulously asked him. "'The sun will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow—'" she trailed off, her voice hesitating for a moment. Rapidly blinking to stop the tears from forming, she swallowed, biting her lip.

"'There'll be sun,'" Grissom finished her sentence for her. "What's wrong, Lindsey?" he prompted her, when he thought that he heard heavy breathing coming from her end of the line.

"It's just not true," she whispered, her anger suddenly gone, replaced with grief. "It's just not true. There won't be sun tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. There will never be sun again!"

"Oh, pumpkin," Grissom finally sighed, dusting the cobwebs off of the nickname that he use to use for Lindsey. "Oh, pumpkin," he repeated. "There's always the possibility of sunshine for tomorrow."

"No, there isn't," Lindsey insisted, angrily brushing away her tears. "It's going to be rainy every single day, for the rest of my life."

Grissom rubbed his chin, lost in thought for a moment. "Lindsey," he hesitated. "Sara was going to come by and pick you up a little bit later, and we were all going to take you out for dinner. What would you say if I just stopped by right now, and just the two of us went out?"

"I don't want to go out with any of you!" Lindsey sobbed, feeling embarrassed for losing her composure. "I just want you all to leave me alone!"

"We can't do that, pumpkin," Grissom softly told her, already standing up from his desk, and moving to the door of his office. "I'd like to talk with you," he continued.

"But I don't want to talk to you!" she replied, burying her head against her pillow, but not hanging up the phone just yet.

Grissom bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment. "Well, will you at least come with me, and listen to me talk? I can't find anyone who will listen to me talk for as long as I want to anymore," he informed her.

Lindsey took a deep breath, trying to let the air out slowly. "Fine," she finally mumbled. "But I want ice cream."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Grissom replied, hanging up the phone. On his way out of the lab, he dialed Sara's cell phone number. When she picked up, he cleared his throat. "Sara, I just spoke with Lindsey, and I'm going to take her out by myself. Would you please let everyone else know?" he asked her.

Sara raised an eyebrow, thinking about that for a second. "Are you sure that you'll be okay with her, Grissom?" she finally asked.

"We'll be fine," he assured her. "And I'll fill you in later."

"Later tonight?" Sara hesitantly asked him, swallowing.

"Yes, if that's okay?" he inquired. "And maybe we could… spend some time together?"

"I'll see you later on tonight, then," Sara replied with a smile, before hanging up.

"Right. Later tonight," he sighed.

---------------

**Present time, 5:00 pm**

"Are you sure about this, Gil?" Catherine awkwardly asked him. "She hasn't left her room since she hung up with you. I'm not sure what's going on with her, but I'm not sure that it's good."

"I think she's feeling ready to talk," Grissom informed her. "And as much as I don't feel comfortable being the recipient of her talking, perhaps I can help steer her in the right direction."

"If you're sure?" Catherine again asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll be fine," Grissom assured her, hiding his surprise when Lindsey came barreling down the hallway, and immediately ran out to his car. Watching her throw open the door and climb in, he frowned. "I _think_ we'll be just fine," he amended his statement.

"Well if you have any problems, just give me a call on my cell. And thank you, Gil," Catherine added, as he turned to go.

Grissom simply nodded as he slowly shuffled toward his car, giving himself time to think. Clearing his throat, he uneasily slid behind the steering wheel, tossing a glance in Lindsey's general location.

"Don't think that I'm going to talk to you, just because I agreed to go get ice cream with you," she informed him, definitely jutting out her chin, and staring out of her window.

"I thought that I was going to do all of the talking?" Grissom asked, raising an eyebrow, before turning on the car. "Like I said, it's not every day that someone agrees to listen to me. I was thinking that I could perhaps run one of my seminars by you? You'll be honest with me, right?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Lindsey noncommittally shrugged.

Grissom nodded, as he launched into one of his presentations on the life cycle of the _Danaus plexippus_, or the Monarch butterfly.

"That's stupid, Uncle Gil," she mumbled, sitting up straighter in her seat when she noticed that they were approaching the old-fashioned ice cream stand.

"Which part?" Grissom asked, frowning. "I thought that it sounded very intellectually stimulating."

"Yeah, but people always end up leaving you, and it's stupid to talk about them as if they care."

"People?" Grissom raised an eyebrow. "Or butterflies?"

"I meant butterflies," Lindsey mumbled, her face instantly blushing.

"But you said 'people,'" he pointed out.

"Well them, too. People always leave," Lindsey informed Grissom, trying her hardest not to sniffle.

Parking the car in one of the parking spots, Grissom rubbed his beard in thought, before finally replying. "All people eventually cease to be," he admitted to Lindsey, neither one of the two making a move to get out of the car. "But that doesn't mean that they ever completely leave us."

"Yes they do," Lindsey argued, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. "My father died, my best friend died last year, Detective Brass almost died; my mom might as well be dead, for all she cares about me."

"What do you mean?" Grissom quietly asked, tilting his head to the side in order to better study Lindsey's face. "Your mother loves you very much. Do you know how I know that?"

"How…?" Lindsey sniffled.

"Because she talks about you all of the time."

"But I don't _want _her to love me, and I don't _want_ to love her!" Lindsey suddenly yelled. "It'll hurt all that much more, when she finally dies!"

Grissom furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if Lindsey knew something about Catherine that he didn't know. "She's not sick, is she?" he prodded her.

"No, but—"

"Then let her love you, and let yourself love her. People die, as you know, pumpkin, but that doesn't mean that we need to stop living in the here and now."

"But it's so hard," Lindsey whispered, turning to look at Grissom. "It's so much easier to make everyone hate me, and then when they die, I won't have to miss them," she continued, her voice hitching in her throat as new tears slid down her cheeks.

Grissom reached across the center consol, and very carefully brushed a few of Lindsey's tears away. "But they'll miss getting to know the real you," he pointed out. "And you'll miss out on life." Lindsey quietly stared down at her feet, taking a deep breath to control her shaking. "Lindsey," he hesitated for a moment. "I really think that you should get some professional help… someone who can help you deal with everything that has happened in your life thus far."

"But I don't want to see anyone special," Lindsey swallowed. "Can't I just keep talking to you, Uncle Gil?" she asked.

"I'm afraid not," Grissom slowly shook his head from side to side. "I'm not equipped to help you process some of your issues. If you had a question on the dung beetle, or the butterfly, or any other insect, for that matter, I could lend you a hand. In this case, though, I really think that you should talk to someone else. Your mom can help you find someone good," he added.

Lindsey sniffled, nodding her head. "I'll think about it; that's the best that I can do right now. But Uncle Gil?" she then asked.

"What?"

"I just want to go home now. Would that be okay?"

"Of course," Grissom tried to smile at her, before turning the car back on, and pulling out of the parking lot. "Can I, uh, tell your mother what happened tonight…?" he hesitantly asked her.

"I guess so," Lindsey mumbled, resting her head against the window. "And tell her that I don't hate her, either," she added. "Okay?"

"Okay," Grissom agreed, "Although I think that you should tell her that yourself."

"I'll think about it," Lindsey whispered, wiping the rest of her tears away, and glancing over at Grissom. "And thank you, Uncle Gil. Next time that we go out, I want a banana split, with a lot of sprinkles on it. Okay?" she asked him, as they pulled into her driveway.

"You got it," Grissom nodded at her, watching her as she bounded out of the car, and up to her front door. Slowly following her, he gave Catherine a slight smile, when she appeared at the door.

"Are you okay?" Catherine asked him. "You're home kind of early," she pointed out.

"We're fine. Lindsey really needs to see a counselor of some sort, though," Grissom quietly informed her. "She's still upset over Eddie's death, and she believes that if she can get people to hate her, she won't have to worry about them when they die. She loves you, Catherine."

"Yeah?" she softly asked, rubbing the back of her neck. "Well she sure has a funny way of showing it."

"She's just a scared little girl, who wants you to love her, and who is afraid that you're going to die on her."

"I'm not going to die, though!" Catherine protested. "Not anytime soon, that is!"

"That might be so, but she needs to believe that, too. She knows that you haven't given up on her, so make sure that you don't," Grissom advised her, slowly turning around so that he could leave. "Oh, and one more thing. She herself asked me to tell you that she doesn't hate you."

"Really?" Catherine asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Really," Grissom confirmed. "So just find her a therapist, and go from there."

"Thank you, Gil," Catherine sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "I really appreciate everything."

"That's what friends are for," he chuckled, before shuffling back to his car.

---------------

**Present time, Sara's apartment**

Knocking on Sara's door, Grissom waited for her to let him in. When she finally did, he raised an eyebrow at her. "You still have toothpaste, I presume?"

"The kind that will make your breath smell minty-fresh," she smiled at him, stepping aside so that he could join her inside of her apartment.

"Then I think that I might need to borrow some later tonight, if you wouldn't mind?"

"if that means that you're spending the night, then of course," Sara teased him, closing and locking the door behind him.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED 


	37. Moving Forward, and Sweet Painted Lady

**A/N: **I just realized that I actually own an entomology field guide! I forgot that I did an insect competition in my state's Science Olympiad. Whoa. Who knew! As always, thanks for reading and/or reviewing the previous chapter. In particular, **Anneruhland**, I'm glad that you thought that the dialogue was correct! Yea! **Wraiths-angel**, glad you liked the chapter! You should find this chapter much happier in nature. **Somebody101**, you might not see each character's resolution as much as you'd like to in this particular chapter, but I promise you that it will come (although not for awhile). I feel the need to explore the characters' fears much more indepth as well, so no worries there! **Odeepblue**, glad you enjoyed it! And **Sportnitz **and **luv0817**, thanks for reading! Oh, and thanks goes out to the San Diego Natural History Museum Field Guide, and to the American Museum of Natural History Butterfly Observatory. The poem is once again Robert Frost's the 'Wind and Window Flower.'

**A/N #2: **Okay, I've given this a lot of thought, and this chapter is a logical conclusion to the second retreat. I will most _definitely _have a third retreat (with some major angst that I am already excited about, not to mention a further exploration of the characters' goals and fears, **Somebody 101**), but I am going to leave this story alone for at least a month or two. I'm going to go back and edit the previous chapters, start working on the third retreat, and then begin posting them at a later date. I'll add them right on to the end of this chapter, though, just to make it easier for everyone to find. I honestly appreciate all of your feedback and encouragement throughout this entire story; some of your comments spurred me to make changes for the better, and your positive reviews have just made this a pleasure to write. I hope that you enjoy the end to the second retreat, and again, I hope that you'll stick around for the third one! It won't disappoint you, I can promise you that!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of CSI or its characters. That honor goes to the good folks over at CBS.

**Title: **_Moving Forward, and Sweet Painted Lady_

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**Nick's apartment, present time**

"C'mon, Nick, let's go!" Greg eagerly said, running a hand through his tussled hair. "Time's a-wasting, and I have places to go, people to see, things to do—" he added, trying not to bounce up on down on the balls of his feet.

"Relax, Greggo," Nick chuckled, grabbing a fleece sweatshirt from his hallway closet, and immediately pulling it on over his head. "We've got all day to find this cat. And remember, you promised me lunch," he pointed out.

Greg quickly shook his head from side to side, barely containing a smile. "Let's grab a bite to eat another day, okay?" he asked. "I'm too excited about picking up Starbucks."

Nick raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the younger man. "Are you sure about naming the poor thing Starbucks? Starbucks is—"

"Only the _best _name in the world!" Greg finished for him, already walking out of the door, and heading toward his car. "Besides, I love coffee, and I'm going to love the cat, so therefore, I'm going to love the name! Wait, that didn't make any sense. Oh well!" he shrugged, already moving toward the parking lot.

"No, it didn't," Nick laughed, shoving his keys and wallet in his back pocket, and following Greg out to the parking lot. "Are you sure that you're calm enough to drive, bro? Maybe I should, just to be safe?" he suggested.

"Hey, great idea," Greg immediately smiled at his friend. "That way, I can play with Starbucks the entire way home. Oh! But we have to stop at the pet store, first," he reminded Nick. "What did Sara say that I needed?"

Nick just sighed, staring at Greg. "Litter, food, toys—"

"A collar, a harness, a leash," Greg continued the list, climbing into Nick's car.

"He isn't a dog, Greggo," Nick grinned at him. "No need for a harness or a leash."

"Or _she_," Greg corrected Nick, buckling himself in. "And I want to take it for walks, so I need a leash. If I just let it out, he or she could be killed; this way, at least I can keep the thing safe. Pet store, come on!"

Nick finally laughed, sliding into the driver's seat, and turning the car on. "Where are you planning on getting this cat from, by the way?" he asked.

"I was actually thinking about an animal rescue agency," Greg shrugged. "That way, I can give the cat a chance at a good life, rather than the animal people putting it to sleep."

"Sounds like a plan, man," Nick replied, pulling into the pet store's parking lot twenty minutes later. "So… litter?" he asked.

"Yup," Greg confirmed, reading the signs up above them until he came to the cat aisle. Throwing the necessary supplies into his cart, he raised an eyebrow. "This cat is going to be expensive," he simply commented.

"Yeah, man," Nick agreed, as he walked beside Greg up to the cash register. "Animals and babies are expensive to take care of. You wanted some responsibility, bro, right? Well, you're definitely going to get it," he informed his friend, as Greg paid for the materials.

"I know," Greg grinned, as he wheeled the cart out to Nick's car, immediately setting his newly purchased items inside of the trunk. "But I'm glad about that. It'll be nice to have someone or something other than myself to care for. Speaking of responsibility, though, how's it going with you and the hunt for conferences?" he asked, sliding into the passenger seat, and buckling himself in.

"Not bad," Nick replied. "Grissom gave me permission to go to two separate conferences this year, and there is actually one coming up that I'd like to attend. It's going to be at Syracuse University, and some big wigs are giving speeches."

"That sounds… great," Greg deadpanned, as Nick turned the car on, heading toward the animal shelter. "Very… fun."

"It can be, man," Nick chuckled. "But we'll see how it goes. I'm looking forward to seeing what this year holds for me."

"Dude! Stop the car!" Greg suddenly shouted, plastering his face against the passenger-side window.

"What? What's wrong?" Nick anxiously asked him, slamming on the breaks.

"It's Starbucks!" Greg pointed to a box by the side of the road, labeled with 'free kittens.' "Look, there's an orange-colored cat poking its head out of that box right now!" he enthusiastically pointed, yanking open the door the moment that Nick pulled the car over. Jogging over to the box, and kneeling down beside it, he grinned. "Starbucks?"

That kitten simply looked up at Greg with an inquisitive expression, before replying with the softest of meows.

Nick just chuckled. "So that's going to be Starbucks, eh, man?"

"Yup," Greg replied, lifting the kitten up and out of the box. "They're really free?" he then asked the man, who was seated beside the cats.

"Yeah, they're free. That one is the last girl in the litter. Are you sure that you want her?" he gruffly asked Greg. "There ain't no returns here, you know."

"I'm sure," Greg immediately replied, cradling the kitten in his arms. "Let's go home, Starbucks," he whispered. "Let's go home."

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**Warrick's apartment, present time**

"Hey, man, how's it going?" Warrick asked Antoine through his cell phone, as he took a seat by his computer.

"Yo, what's up, Rick?" Antoine replied, leaning against one of Vegas's abandoned factory buildings. "It's going, but you know how things are."

"Yeah, I know," Warrick sighed, cradling the phone between his shoulder and his ear, as he typed New York into a google search field. "Hey, listen, man. Is your mom at home?"

"Nah, she's not," Antoine replied, as he spotted one of his friends in the distance walking toward him.

"Do you know when she'll be home, then?" Warrick persisted. "I have a question to ask her."

"About what?" Antoine suspiciously asked Warrick, his guard immediately up.

"You, me, and New York," Warrick grinned.

"Huh?"

"Vacation, Antoine. I need a vacation from this city, and I'm going to bet that you do, too."

"A vacation to where?" Antoine hesitantly asked his Big Brother, furrowing his eyebrow in confusion. "To someplace like Lake Mead?"

"A little bit further away, man. How does New York sound?"

"New York State? I've never been out of Las Vegas, though, Warrick," Antoine quietly said, nodding at his friend as he approached him.

"There's a first time for everything, right?" Warrick softly asked him. "It might be kind of fun, actually."

"Yeah," Antoine slowly replied. "Yeah, it might be, and… I think I'd like that. But listen, Warrick. Can I give you a call later?" he asked. "In a couple of hours or so?"

"Sure, Antoine," Warrick sighed. "Just be careful, man, got it?"

"Always, bro. Later."

"Later." Warrick hung up the phone, squinting at his computer screen. "This might be fun," he repeated. "And a nice change of pace," he grinned.

**---------------**

**Catherine's home, two weeks later**

"Lindsey, are you ready?" Catherine asked her fourteen year old daughter, as she finished adding salt and butter to the microwaveable popcorn that she had just dumped into a large bowl.

"God, Mom," Lindsey sighed, rolling her eyes. "I'm coming!" she snapped, storming into the kitchen, and reaching for two glasses. "Diet coke?" she then mumbled, this time much more softly.

"Yeah, thanks," Catherine replied, trying to hide her frown from her daughter.

"Sorry," Lindsey immediately sighed, as she filled both glasses with ice, and then grabbed the two-liter bottle of diet coke from the refrigerator. "Sometimes I forget that I no longer hate you," she whispered, refusing to make eye contact with her mother, out of pure embarrassment.

"Well, thanks, I think," Catherine raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure how to take that. "I think I… appreciate that?"

"You should," her daughter replied. "Because I love you."

"Love you, too, Linds," Catherine grinned, trying to ignore the happy choked-up feeling growing in her throat. _Love you, too, _she repeated to herself, heading into the living room. "So, you wanted to see _Step Up_, right?" she then asked her daughter.

"Yup," Lindsey nodded, immediately sitting down on one end of the couch, setting the two drinks down on the coffee table. "If that's okay?" she hesitantly asked.

"Yeah, that's fine, honey," Catherine smiled, depositing the bowl of popcorn in the middle of the couch. "Here's a blanket, too, in case you get cold," she added, handing one over to her daughter.

Lindsey simply bit her lip, taking the blanket, and wrapping herself up in the blanket. Digging her hand into the popcorn bowl, she took a large handful, happily munching on it. "This will be fun," she quietly told her mother. "I don't think that we've done this in a very long time."

"It's been awhile," Catherine agreed, shutting off her cell phone, and setting it aside. "And no one is going to bother us tonight," she added, her smile immediately disappearing as the home phone rang. "I'm not going to get it," she informed her daughter.

"You'd better," Lindsey sighed. "It could be important."

Catherine wrinkled her nose, slowly getting to her feet. Walking into the kitchen, she gingerly picked up the receiver, saying, "Willows residence."

"Is Lindsey there?" a voice answered her. "This is Becky, from school."

"Uh, yeah, hang on," Catherine told the girl on the line, poking her head back into the living room. "It's for you, Linds," she announced.

"Is it a boy?" Lindsey questioned her mother.

"A girl," Catherine informed her. "Becky? From school?"

"Then take a message, please," Lindsey smiled at Catherine. "I'm busy tonight."

With a happy sigh, Catherine did as Lindsey asked, before returning to the couch. "Love you," she once again told her. "Even if you wouldn't ditch your old mom for a boy."

Lindsey simply rolled her eyes, grabbing another huge handful of popcorn.

Catherine understood that she and her daughter were not completely out of the woods just yet, and that Lindsey still had a lot of anger to deal with, as evidenced by the minor scene in the kitchen, but she also realized that they were finally on the right track. With Lindsey beginning to see a counselor next week, and by spending more and more time together as a family, Catherine hoped that with time, they would be able to patch up their slightly frayed relationship.

---------------

**Grissom's condo, a couple of months later**

"Rise and shine, Sara," Grissom quietly said, walking into his bedroom, and very carefully pulling open the blinds, blinking, as the sunlight poured in through the now open window. "It's time to get going," he added, setting a tray full of eggs, toast, and orange juice down on the bedside table.

"Mmmfg," Sara mumbled, burying her head even further underneath her pillow. "Ten more minutes."

"It's noon already," Grissom informed her, sitting down on the edge of the bed, and resting his hand on her hip. "We were supposed to leave at ten in the morning, but—" he trailed off, absentmindedly rubbing his chin.

"But what?" Sara curiously asked, cracking an eye open, and yawning.

"You looked too peaceful to wake up. But please, let's get going; today is going to be a very important day," he nervously added.

"I know," Sara again mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and sitting up. "What are you researching again?" she asked, taking the glass of orange juice, and slowly sipping it. "And thanks, this is good juice."

"Communication between the butterflies," Grissom immediately replied. "Mostly, though, I would like to observe the butterflies in their new habitat, to see how they interact with one another. And you're welcome," he added.

"Okay," Sara shrugged, throwing the covers off of her body, and trying to stretch. "I just hope that I can help you somehow," she added, moving closer to him, and resting her free hand on his knee.

"You'll be able to help me, don't you worry about that," Grissom quietly replied, blushing. _Unless, of course you say no to me. If you say no, then the ride home will be a long and awkward one._

"Good, I'm glad," Sara smiled at him, setting her glass down. Leaning toward him, she lightly pecked him on the lips. "Then I'll get dressed, and then we can head out." Walking over to the bedroom's spare closet, Sara pulled out a light blue t-shirt and a pair of pants, tossing them on the bed. Although she and Grissom had not been officially living together, she had clothing at his home, and he had clothing at her apartment… for mornings such as this one. She couldn't help but notice that they had been spending more and more time sleeping together in one of their beds, than alone.

Grissom absentmindedly nodded, standing up, and heading toward the living room. "I'll be waiting for you out here," he told her, shuffling out of the bedroom, and toward the couch. Taking a seat on one of the cushions, he stared at the table in front of himself, instantly lost to the depths of his mind. _Okay, I need my wallet, keys, tape recorder, Sara's camera,_ he ran through his mental checklist. _The butterfly guidebook, the ring_, he smiled, suddenly fingering the small box in his front pocket.

"I'll be ready in a couple of minutes," Sara loudly informed him, returning her attention to her outfit.

Deep in thought, Grissom did not hear her response. _So how am I going to do this…? _He asked himself. _Should I write a speech? Or just hand her the ring when we first get there? Or when we leave? Or during lunch? _Glancing down at the butterfly guidebook sitting in front of him on the table, a small smile slowly tugged at the corners of Grissom's mouth. "Well that's an interesting idea," he mused, leaning forward on the couch, and clasping his hands in his lap.

"What's an interesting idea?" Sara interrupted his thoughts, walking into the living room, and sitting down beside him.

"Nothing," Grissom calmly chuckled, glancing over at Sara. "All set?"

"Yup," she replied, yawning once more. "Let me just grab the tray from the bedroom, and I'll be ready to go."

Grissom again nodded, standing up, and reaching for the guidebook. "Just give me one more minute," he instructed Sara, walking into his home office, and very carefully picking up an envelope and some cotton. Clearing his throat, Grissom glanced at the still open door, taking a seat behind his desk. Reaching into his pocket, he slowly removed the ring box, opened it up, and nodded once more. "Hopefully you'll say yes," he whispered to himself, as he placed the ring in the middle of the wad of cotton, carefully protecting the ring. Then grabbing the book of poetry from his bookshelf, he swallowed, nervously flipping to the page of a very special poem. Ripping the entire page out, and scrawling something at the bottom of the poem, he folded it around the cotton-encased ring, sticking both objects into the envelope, which he labeled with Sara's name. "The Painted Lady butterfly," he mumbled to himself, flipping to the Vanessa cardui page in the guidebook. Taping the envelope in the book, he grinned at his handiwork.

"Hey, you ready?" Sara asked, poking her head into the office, and flashing Grissom another smile. "It's almost one o'clock," she informed him, a twinkle in her eye.

"I'm ready," Grissom chuckled, standing up, and gingerly grabbing the guidebook. "Do you have your camera, by the way?"

"Yup," Sara told him. And then, "Do you want me to hold that for you?" she asked, already reaching for the guidebook.

"Thank you, but no, I can hold onto it," Grissom calmly replied. "But let's go."

An hour later, Grissom and Sara arrived at the butterfly observatory, Grissom looking slightly flustered.

"Are you okay?" Sara asked in concern, reaching a hand out toward him, and lightly pressing her palm to his forehead. "Grissom, you're warm," she sighed, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe we should go home? You just feel so clammy to me."

"I'm okay," Grissom shook his head, reaching for her hand, and softly kissing it. "I'm just anxious to get this research done with, and to spend some more quality time with you."

"Okay," Sara doubtfully replied, twisting her hand so that she could entwine her fingers with his. "But are you sure? Even your hands feel kind of clammy."

"I'm fine," he once again tried to reassure her, gently squeezing her hand. "Just have fun today," he flashed her a small smile, leading her toward the ticket counter. Swallowing to hide his uneasiness, Grissom's eyes suddenly shot open, and he yanked his hand out of her grasp.

"What's wrong?" Sara quickly asked, her voice instantly filled with alarm.

"The book! I left the book in the car. And do you have your camera?" Grissom anxiously asked her, nodding in relief when he saw the strap hanging off of her shoulder. "I'll be right back," he hastily added, immediately turning around, and heading back toward his car. _If you don't get a hold of yourself, Sara is going to suspect that something isn't right. Hell, she ALREADY suspects that something isn't right. Just breathe, for God's sakes. You're no good to anyone if you pass out_. Quickly unlocking the door, Grissom reached in, snagging the book from the compartment by his seat. Then, heading back toward Sara, he held the book out in front of him, nodding. "I'm just tired, I suppose," he told her. "I get forgetful when I'm tired."

"And warm," Sara added, the concern still etched on her face. "Maybe your body is trying to fight something?" she suggested.

_Yes, it is currently locked in a battle of nerves_, he rubbed his beard. Clearing his throat, he simply shrugged. "Perhaps; but for the time being, I feel fine, so shall we go look at the butterflies?"

Sara slowly nodded in defeat, sighing. "Sure, let's go see the butterflies," she agreed, following Grissom up to the counter, and smiling, as she remembered what had happened the last time that they had come to the observatory. "Didn't we hold hands the last time that we were here?" she asked, her smile growing wider by the moment.

"Yes, we did," Grissom confirmed, trying to smile, but too nervous to do so. _And this time, perhaps we'll do much more than just hold hands; with any luck, we'll become engaged._

_What's going on with you? _Sara wanted to ask him, realizing that the last time that he had been this fidgety, he had been trying to kiss her for the last hour or so. "So which way?" she softly asked instead, once again slipping her hand into his palm, and smiling at the warmth emanating from him.

Grissom cleared his throat, swallowing. "I was thinking that we could sit on one of the benches," he suggested. "I'd like to observe the butterflies, as I mentioned before. And perhaps you can take some pictures?" he then asked, leading her into the main section of the observatory, and toward one of the benches.

"Of course," Sara cheerfully told him. "My camera is ready and waiting to serve you," she grinned, purposely letting her shoulder bump into his. When Grissom did not acknowledge the touch with one of his usual witty remarks, her smile slowly faded, and she stared at the ground. _Yeah, something is definitely going on with you. Why the hell can't you just talk to me about whatever is wrong?_

"Thank you," Grissom simply replied, moving toward the nearest bench, and taking a seat. Waiting for Sara to sit down beside him, he set his book in his lap, pulling out a small tape recorder. "To record my thoughts on," he wryly smiled at her.

Sara chuckled. "So, what would you like me to take pictures of?" she asked him. "Am I looking for anything in particular?"

"Yes," Grissom nodded, glancing around the room. "Keep your eyes open for any butterflies that are flying together, or which are hanging upside down from a tree branch. In particular, I'd like to find some of the Vanessa cardui butterflies," he informed her.

"And what does the Vanessa cardui butterfly look like?" Sara questioned him, raising an eyebrow, and preparing her camera.

"The Vanessa cardui, also known as the Painted Lady butterfly, is orange and black on top, pink on the bottom, with four eyespots on its wings. It should be fairly easy to spot," he added, already looking around. _It better be easy to spot, because I'm so nervous right now, that I really need to go relieve my bladder. And soon._

"Sure," Sara pursed her lips, leaning back on the bench. "I'll let you know when I see one flying by. And out of curiosity," she continued, "How do butterflies communicate with one another?"

Grissom raised an eyebrow, holding back a smile. "Mostly pheromones," he chuckled. "Some butterflies communicate with sound, but most of them depend on the chemical cues."

"Oh," Sara nodded. "Well that makes sense, I suppose." Shrugging, she began taking pictures of some of the flying butterflies, pointing a couple of the more colorful ones out to Grissom.

_Where are the Painted Ladies? _Grissom anxiously asked himself, trying to calmly look around the room. _They're supposed to be one of the most common butterflies in the world. You'd think that the observatory would have dozens of them flying around,_ he frowned, realizing that his nerves were steadily growing more frazzled by the moment. The heat of the observatory, he also realized, was doing nothing to help relax him.

"Hey, is that one?" Sara suddenly asked, tearing him out of his reverie.

"Where?" Grissom asked, sitting up straighter, and glancing around the observatory.

"Over there, flying in the sky. It's coming right toward us," she told Grissom, pointing at the butterfly, before reaching for her camera, and trying to take a good picture of the little flying creature.

"Yes, that's one," Grissom whispered, sudden relief flooding his voice. "Sara, can you do me another favor?" Grissom quietly asked her, protectively cradling the book in his hands.

"Of course," Sara smiled at him, after snapping her picture.

"I'd like to observe the butterfly. Can you look it up in the field guide for me, please?"

Sara simply nodded, taking the book from his hands. "What did you say it was called again? The Vanessa—"

"Cardui," he nervously finished for her. "It's under Van—"

Sara rolled her eyes. "Thanks, but I think I can spell Vanessa," she told him, flipping through the book. "There appears to be something stuck in the page, though," she frowned, her eyes widening as she read her own name on the envelope. "Grissom? What is this…?" she inquired, tentatively setting her camera down on the bench beside her, and very carefully removing the taped envelope from the guidebook.

Grissom shrugged. "Perhaps you should open it up," he whispered, his mouth suddenly going dry. _God help me, I'm so nervous right now, that I still have to go to the bathroom, _he swallowed, holding his leg still so that it wouldn't bounce in nervousness.

Sara gingerly opened the envelope, immediately spotting the piece of paper covering the cotton. "Grissom?" she asked again, confusion and hesitation on her face.

"Just read it, Sara," he softly told her.

Unfolding the piece of paper with shaky hands, Sara's chin slowly dropped. "Isn't this the poem that you recited to me a year and a half ago, during the first retreat?" she curiously asked him, now slightly confused.

"Yes, but now with a different idea in mind. Read it for me?" Grissom requested, his face once again flushed in nervousness.

"Okay," Sara swallowed, blinking. "'Lovers, forget your love/And list to the love of these/She a window flower/And he a winter breeze.'"

"Remember, you're the window flower, and I'm the winter breeze," Grissom quietly reminded her.

Sara numbly nodded, once again glancing down at the paper. "'When the frosty window veil/Was melted down at noon/And the caged yellow bird/Hung over her in tune. He marked her through the pane/He could not help but mark/And only passed her by/To come again at dark.'"

"I've loved you for years now, Sara," Grissom interrupted her. "For longer than you can even imagine, and certainly for far longer than I've ever admitted to."

Sara blinked again, swallowing her confusion. "What are you—"

"Please, keep reading," Grissom requested.

"'He was a winter wind/Concerned with ice and snow/Dead weeds and unmated birds/And little of love could know. But he sighed upon the sill/He gave the sash a shake/  
As witness all within/Who lay that night awake.' Grissom, I don't—"

"The wind wants to concern himself with more than just death and ice, Sara. Keep reading."

Sara tried to still her shaking hand, by taking a deep breath. _Why is my heart beating so fast? What is he doing? He's not… proposing, is he? He wouldn't do that; he couldn't do that… could he? Does he have enough courage to do something like that?_ the analyst in her asked herself."'Perchance he half prevailed/To win her for the flight/From the firelit looking-glass/And warm stove-window light. But the flower leaned aside/And thought of naught to say/And morning found the breeze/A hundred miles away." Looking up at Grissom, Sara again blinked, taking another deep breath. "I still don't understand," she whispered.

Clearing his throat, Grissom hesitantly reached over to Sara, taking the envelope from her shaky hands. Pulling out the cotton ball, he slowly unwrapped it, gingerly freeing the delicate ring from its soft bindings. "Even the wind can learn to love, Sara," he whispered, reciting what he had written at the bottom of the poem. "I once told you that I didn't know much about love, or even _how_ to love. Well, you've opened up my heart, and I'm ready… if you are. Will you marry me?" he simply asked her, his palms beginning to sweat even more. _What if she says no? This is a mistake! What if she says no, because she doesn't think that I'm ready!_

"Will I… what?" Sara asked in confusion, the blood rushing to her face. "What did you just ask me?"

"I can't live without you, Sara Sidle," Grissom swallowed, still holding the ring out toward her in the palm of one of his hands. "I just can't live without you. Will you marry me?" he hesitantly repeated his question. A single tear slid down Sara's cheek, followed by a second one, and a third one, and then a fourth one. "Please don't cry," he whispered. "I'm sorry; I thought you'd be—" _Happy!_

"I'm just so happy," Sara quietly admitted, flinging herself into his arms, careful not to knock the ring out of his hand. "Of course I'll marry you, Grissom. Of course I will!" she happily cried, as he slid the ring onto her finger. Burying her head against his neck, she continued to sob. "I love you!"

"I love you, too," Grissom replied, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "More than you can possibly know."

---------------

_Finis _


End file.
